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things you would not want to hear on the Atlantis intercom

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    #646
    Computer: (Beeping)
    McKay: WTF?
    Desmond: Just enter 4 8 15 16 23 42!
    McKay: Oops!
    Computer: System Failure!
    Desmond: You've killed us! You've killed us all!
    The drums, the drums, the never ending drumbeat! Open me you human fool! Open the light and summon me and receive my majesty!

    Comment

      #647
      Announcement: Residents of Atlantis are reminded that severed limbs cannot be reattached, regrown, or replaced with artificial limbs at this time. We apologize for any inconvenience.
      "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

      I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

      Comment

        #648
        Carter: Rodney, why don't you be a good boy and come over here and sit on mama's lap?

        Ronon: We got one copy of this "Harry Potter" thing last time Daedalus was here. Anyone who wants to read it has to fight me first. Line starts to the right.
        Last edited by Red-Headed Earthling; 21 August 2007, 01:48 PM.

        Comment

          #649
          : Um... Yeah... Colonel Carter and I will be... er... busy in my office for the next hour or so... So please direct all questions to Dr. Weir!

          : Attention! Since Elizabeth is out getting knee surgery, I am in control of Atlantis!

          : Look out! Oh my God! We're all gonna die! It's hideous!!!!
          (Pause)
          : Ford, why are you staring at me like that..? I mean, I--WAIT A SEC ARE YOU CALLING ME HIDEOUS???
          Click the banner or episode links to visit the virtual continuations of Stargate!
          Previous Episode: 11x03 "Shore Leave" | Previous Episode: 6x04 "Nightfall" | Now Airing: 3x06 "Eldest"

          Comment

            #650
            Announcement: I need a price check on aisle 5 on ... Colonel Sheppard, do you want regular or extra strength? extra strength?... I need a price check aisle 5 on some extra strength tampons.
            "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

            I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

            Comment

              #651
              Unknown Voice: Attention Lt. Col. Sheppard, not only are you promoted to Brigadier General, but your wife has died..... again..... please tell me she is not developing the same hobby as Dr. Jackson?
              John: My wife is doing what?
              Teyla: [a big fat] ? [is all we see]

              This is the Assassin's Way part 17 complete
              "Elegant beauty is Nature. but only for the gentle and soft Flower" ~Hu Ge
              "The one thing every new hairstylist must learn is how to do hair in a combat zone!" Bob; owner of Bob & Weave's Combat Salon in Red Dust Club, an original story currently in progress

              Comment

                #652
                Me: If at first we didn't succeed, I think, I think we shoulda broght the Three Stooges along on this trip!
                Weir: now that you mention it they would come in handy
                John: Really why?
                Weir and Me: they never get killed off, plus they would confuse the heck out of the Wraith

                This is the Assassin's Way part 17 complete
                "Elegant beauty is Nature. but only for the gentle and soft Flower" ~Hu Ge
                "The one thing every new hairstylist must learn is how to do hair in a combat zone!" Bob; owner of Bob & Weave's Combat Salon in Red Dust Club, an original story currently in progress

                Comment

                  #653
                  Computer Voice: Warning! Warp core breach imminent. Last chance to be a hero, Colonel Sheppard.
                  "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

                  I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

                  Comment

                    #654
                    Unknown Voice: Van Helsing to the gateroom! Van Helsing to the ::blood curdling scream::
                    "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

                    I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

                    Comment

                      #655
                      Dr. Keller: Colonel Sheppard to maternity. I repeat, Colonel Sheppard to maternity.

                      sigpic

                      Comment

                        #656
                        I would love to hear this

                        Unknown voice: would the owner of the green Ford GT500 please move your vehicle, you are parked in a Puddlejumper docking zone, thank you

                        This is the Assassin's Way part 17 complete
                        "Elegant beauty is Nature. but only for the gentle and soft Flower" ~Hu Ge
                        "The one thing every new hairstylist must learn is how to do hair in a combat zone!" Bob; owner of Bob & Weave's Combat Salon in Red Dust Club, an original story currently in progress

                        Comment

                          #657
                          Announcement: Today's lottery winner is - Colonel Sheppard. Congratulations, Colonel...you're going to The Island.

                          In a backroom privately...
                          "Shame we have to waste such a hot piece of meat because some guy's hair caught on fire."
                          "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

                          I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

                          Comment

                            #658
                            Originally posted by chyron View Post
                            Announcement: Today's lottery winner is - Colonel Sheppard. Congratulations, Colonel...you're going to The Island.

                            In a backroom privately...
                            "Shame we have to waste such a hot piece of meat because some guy's hair caught on fire."
                            Good one.

                            Sig courtesy of RepliCartertje

                            Comment

                              #659
                              "Beginning next week, each member of the expedition will meet monthly with our new nutritionist to review and discuss meals. Please schedule your appointment with Dr. Lechter as soon as possible."
                              "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

                              I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

                              Comment

                                #660
                                Announcement: In order to save power usage and to prolong the life of the ZPM, we have decided to turn of the city's sanitation system...

                                ::shocked::

                                ...effectively immediately. Expedition members needing to use the restroom will be beamed to the mainland...

                                ::gasps::

                                ...to locate a tree...

                                ::eyes roll::

                                ...or a spot of soft ground...

                                ::murmurs::

                                ...please indicate to operations if you will need a shovel.
                                "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

                                I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

                                Comment

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