things you would not want to hear on the SGC's intercom

[Supreme Commander Sil]

^
"Uh, attention all SGC personelle. A baby platypus has gotten out and is peeing and bathing in the mess room supplies. Ohh... Not on my he-ad !!!!!! Now I have to have another shower ... Make that two. Hey! That's the general's desk, don't tear up that paper ! Stop eating that !!!! Ok, so three....... Ahhhh! Help, they're attacking me, pinning down my arms and legs .... Containment has has been lost! We have a situation, I repeat, we have a situation! Ahhh *voice trails off*....
...
Hey, that's mou-tthumghffff "
EDIT:
"Hunger is distasteful.... Hmmm...Mmmmm..although that clothing is de-licioussss on you, Landry, my darling"

(ie Apophis is still alive !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Aren't I sexy, Colonel Carter?
Huh?
Do I not appeal to you?
Sam: No, I think it's inferiorly constructed.
Indeed.... But I thought it was kind of advanced in comparison to many others.
Sam: iPod's are just rip-offs
Colonel Carter!
Sam: Sorry, I always forget that "po---" er..uhhmmm... yeah, is offensive in Asgard. But can we come up with a better name than I?

Sam: Ok, fine ...

[timstro59]

: INSANITY!!!
me: put some pants on!!
lnadry: i said that along time ago and he still hasnt put pants on.
me: put some pants on or i shoot "it" off!!!

[Rasunda]

Daniel;I ****ed in my pants!
Landry;But that's just wrong.

[HAL2100]

Daniel;I worked in my pants!
Landry;But that's just wrong.

Why would Daniel need to state that? Isn't that a bit obvious?

[timstro59]

Why would Daniel need to state that? Isn't that a bit obvious?

not obvious enough apparently.

[Mimzy]

Landry: Anyone who would like to participate in the SGC "Numa Numa" video, please report to my office. We will begin filming people dancing in approximately 1 hour. Please be warned: this will find its way to youtube, so if you do not want to be publicly embarrassed, I highly suggest not taking part in the making of this completely random project. Thank you.

reference:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puVmKfCwb4M

how I love the U.S. military.

[Gem of Tigress]

Walter: Who wants Dominoes?

[Tova]

Intercom: "Aaaand the winning lottery numbers are... 1... 7... 9..."

[Rasunda]

Why would Daniel need to state that? Isn't that a bit obvious?

I didn't say worked. If I would, it wouldn't have come up like ***...

[timstro59]

I didn't say worked. If I would, it wouldn't have come up like ***...

XD true, but what did you say?

[Gate Ranger]

Walter: Um a Wraith queen is here to see you General Landry.
Landry: !!!!!!!

[timstro59]

Walter: Um a Wraith queen is here to see you General Landry.
Landry: !!!!!!!

dont worry ill protect you!
walter: should i go get you a gun?
indeed.


meanwhile in atlantis:
ahhh, theres someone in my ear.

[timstro59]

: purrrr
me: OMG!!! ITS A TRIBBLE!!!

[timstro59]

me: *singing* lemons are falling from the sky!!!

[Gem of Tigress]

Lemons!? * dies*