Things they would never ever ever say

[Commander Jumper]

Ronon: Under Colonel Sheppard? Get me away! Away I say!
Weir: I dunno... I hear it's a nice place...
McKay: Well it is... but don't go there...
Beckett: And how would you know, Rodney?
McKay: ... No comment.

: McKay????
: What???
: did you sleep with John???
:no
: Mckay??
: Fine yes

:What I said I was Gay??? Girl you need a hearing aid
: Great Shep's finally come out of the closet
: What was he doing in the closet, was he trying to find a piece of clothing he had lost???
: Ford was saying John is gay.

All the girls in the universe :NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo

[Elles]

Half the females in the universe: Sign me up for a sex change ASAP!
Half the males in the universe: YAY!

[Commander Jumper]

: *at white house giving a speech* Today we suffer a great loss. Today at some time after 7:00pm MST america lost one it's greatest (and Sexiest) heros, Lt.Col, John Sheppard, to the Queer side......Women of the Galaxy..all that have been a victim of his Kirking.....we are deeply sorry for your loss. We Salute you Lt.Col. Sexy-I mean Sheppard

[Elles]

Weir: *appears at white house in a cloud of smoke* I have more bad news. Sheppard is now going out with... Bill O'Reilly.
Angry Mob: Kill Bill O'Reilly! Kill Bill O'Reilly!

[Commander Jumper]

*they Kill bill*

: Women of the galaxy I'm proud to inform you that since the sudden death of Sheppards lover Bill O'Reillly......he has been dating me......

[Elles]

*Mob swarms Thor and when they are gone, they leave nothing but a bloody flattened grayish thing*
Sheppard: No! Why must everything I love leave me?!? Screw Thor, I'm going to date Kenny.
*Mob swarms Kenny... and when they are gone, they leave nothing but a bloody flattened orange thing*
Stan: Oh my god! They killed Kenny!
Kyle: You b*st*rds!

[Commander Jumper]

*Mob swarms Thor and when they are gone, they leave nothing but a bloody flattened grayish thing*
Sheppard: No! Why must everything I love leave me?!? Screw Thor, I'm going to date Kenny.
*Mob swarms Kenny... and when they are gone, the leave nothing but a bloody flattened orange thing*
Stan: Oh my god! They killed Kenny!
Kyle: You b*st*rds!

: NOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo my love Kenny.......you know....Daniel has always reminded me of Kenny....maybe
Women of the Universe: NO!

[Elles]

Sheppard: Ok... I won't touch Daniel! But hey! What about Dumbledore?
Snape: *appears out of nowhere* No, he's dead. *vanishes in cloud of smoke*
Dumbledore: Actually, I've ascended.
Angry Mob: Crap... how do we kill an ascended being? Any ideas?
Me: Super Soakers!
Angry Mob: Yeah!

Post # 333!

[Commander Jumper]

*Grabs super sokar soaker* he'll have hell to pay

[Elles]

Stan: Oh my god! They killed Dumbledore!
Kyle: You b*st*ards!
Cartman: Oh god, guys... Totally weak man.
Sheppard: Cartman...
Cartman: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Get him away from me!!!
Sheppard: I was just going to say that you had a little dirt on your nose...

[Commander Jumper]

: Sometimes....I wish I wasn't such a rainbow......
Women of the Galaxy: PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASE!

[Elles]

Sheppard: Ok, ok... I won't be gay if I get to be a supporter of stem cell research.
(Joe Flanigan is a supporter you know...)
Angry Mob: *shrugs* Ok... but we all get a hug.
Sheppard: No deal.
Angry Mob: *grabs their Super Soakers*
Sheppard: Ok... ok... no one needs to get wet. I'll just slowly come up and give each and every one of you a hug.

[Commander Jumper]

*HUGS SHEP* now he's mine Muahahahahahahahaaaaa...............ha

[Elles]

Weir: *Begins pumping up Super Soaker* I am your terminator!

[Commander Jumper]

: I feel like I'm watching Dr.Who right now.....this is getting over wierd.
: you called my love???