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Things they would never ever ever say

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    Sam (from Moebius part 1) Screw the timeline! Shoot the S&*!

    Dr Jackson: okay, so does anyone know how the stargate works cuz I write all these fancy theories that over the past ten years continuously disprove them in some way or another besides Sam's theories are so much better.

    Dr Jackson (again): If I'm an anthropologist, how do I know how to work the stargate or was that just some good bs?

    Jack: Yo Baal, nice place! Damn boy, wooo, check out the HD...Damn dude, lets crack a beer and watch a game of football!

    Baal: What is this football that you speak of?

    Jack: Damn dude, what you need to complement the HDTV is some f&^%$@^ leather reclining chairs!

    Baal: What are these reclining chairs that you speak of?

    Baal: This is so much better than the evil system lord thing!

    Sam: Yo, Martouf, lets go do it, Freya can come too, oh, and where's my robot clone?

    <any system lord>:ugghhh, ruling the world is SO cliche! I'm going to be a Hollywood actress, I think I'll take Jane Fonda as a host.

    <any system lord>:I think I'll move to the USA and run for president.

    Ra:ugghhh, Inubis was soooo HOT! But now he's decapitated. Stupid Jack O'Neill!

    Ra: Egeria, what up my b^&%*?! I'm really sorry for those two thousand years of solitary confinement in a place with no light followed by the fifty years of experimentation by the pangarans, really!

    Garshaw of Belote: Screw these thousands of years of war, lets jus' move to Earth.

    Martouf/Lantash: Oh Rosha, I loved you, but not nearly enough as these pink little donuts with the colored sprinkles that are sitting on the boardroom of the SGC.

    Sam: Ya know what??? I wish Jolinar was still alive!

    Teal'c: There was once a legend amongst my people,,,,,,welp anyway, I got to take a shower.

    Ra (from Moebius): See the blonde woman, yes her, I like her, bring her to me!
    Sam: (grabbed and brought before the Supreme System Lord) uh, hi?!
    Ra: Inubis Sr, come here!
    Inubis: Yes honeykins?
    Ra: Is that symbiote of yours fully matured?
    Inubis Sr: Of course my lord!
    Ra: Then you know the drill.
    Inubis Sr: Yes my lord (promptly takes his shirt off, Ra reveals his boyish self to the people around him, glances at Inubis, eyes glow, inserts hands into symbiote pouch)
    Sam: NOOOO!!! PLEASE, NO!!!! PLEASE (starts crying)!!!
    Ra:ssshhhh honeykins, tonight we will share my bed!
    Jack: Hey, hey, hey, (stands up and starts jabbing fingers while simultaneously saying stop it, twice) stop it, stop it!
    Ra: no
    Jack: Alright?
    Ra: no
    Jack: alright.
    Ra implants Sam, sam's eyes glow, sam is a goauld.
    Sam: uggghhh, O'Neill, she really liked you! But even she wasn't all that repulsed by idea of sleeping with Ra, after all, he is SO much younger than you!

    Jack: Hey, whats up?
    Sam: I want you I need you oh baby oh baby!

    Ra: Inubis has dared to defy me!
    Inubis: Of course, Sam is so much hotter!

    Ra: Inubis, join me and Sam in bed!

    Inubis: Uh, lets see, get decapitated by the transport rings or join you in killing Ra, hmm, I'll take the latter.

    (for those that think I'm referring to the evil system lord anubis, I'm not. I'm referring to Inubis, Ra's first prime in the Movie.)

    Teal'c: What are all the synonyms for the word indeed?
    http://www.change.gov

    The reason you should vote Republican in 2010.

    Comment


      Originally posted by mother-goose
      Vala: Oh god there are too many men in this place!
      So many men, so few worth for breeding.
      "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

      I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

      Comment


        (And now a tribute to classic films & television shows)

        OMA:
        Cut me some slack, jack! Chump don' want no help, chump don' git no help. Jive ass dude don' got no brains anyhow!

        OMA:
        [singing] Some women are drippin' with diamonds / Some women are drippin' with pearls / Lucky me, lucky me, look at what I'm drippin' with / Little girls!

        OMA: A mental mind f**k can be nice.

        OMA: I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way.

        OMA: A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming.

        OMA: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.

        OMA: Should we or should we not follow the advice of the galactically stupid!

        OMA: Jerry, Jerry, will you take my advice? Forget about the whole thing, will ya? Just keep telling yourself: you're a boy, you're a boy.

        OMA: I knew you'd pay a price for this. I knew you couldn't be so hopelessly geek-ridden for so long without suffering some really tragic consequences.

        OMA: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been two months since my last confession. Twice I took the name of the Lord in vain, once I slept with the brother of my fiancee, and once I bounced a check at the liquor store, but that was really an accident.

        OMA: Well, I've always believed that if done properly, armed robbery doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience.

        OMA:
        In the place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love me and despair!

        OMA: Romper, stomper, bomper boo.
        Tell me, tell me, tell me, do.
        Magic Mirror, Magic Mirror, tell me today.
        Have all my friends been good at play?
        I see Daniel and Teyla and Cameron and Jack and Sam...
        Oh! Jack and Sam that's a naughty thing to do.
        "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

        I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

        Comment


          Jack: Oh, wait a second..um..Mr. System Lord. I got a hang nail from my gun. Oww, jeez.
          Mr. System Lord: Let me help you with that, I used to be a doctor, before they kicked me out for...let's just say that patient's scar is going to be there for a while. *cough*

          Daniel: What did you say? A planet with an ancient city that could be the Lost City? No, I can't go now. The simpsons are on.

          Sam: Sorry, sir. I'm going to get a life, now.

          Teal'c: Help! This staff weapon's too heavy for me. I wanna smaller gun.
          Gone Fission
          "He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day."


          Sig by Chlex

          Comment


            Walter - "You know, I'm sick of playing second to all of you. Dial your own damn gate!"
            sigpic
            MS - "Boy, wow that's a great question!"
            "...phu...ah..."
            "Anyone know what SENTIENT means???"
            Sunday is my favorite day for two reasons - Football and The Walking Dead

            Comment


              Thor: Can we go to Mcdonald's?

              Any Wraith: Yo quiero Taco Bell? (Sorry, i don't have the character map thing for the upside down question mark).

              Dr. Beckett (while operating on someone): On top of spaghetti! All covered with cheese!I lost my poor meat ball!

              Comment


                Carter to O'Neill: "Let's make BABIES!"
                Last edited by Hatusu; 20 December 2005, 10:07 PM.
                Hatshepsut, Queen Pharaoh

                Comment


                  Narim: Here have an ION cannon or two. Would you like a spare Stargate to go with that?
                  "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

                  I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

                  Comment


                    Carter: man i need to get wasted!

                    Daniel: I dont care if it is 3000 years old, i'm going to roast my turkey in it for christmas and there is nothing you can do about it!

                    Teal'c: DAMN, That $h!ts wack
                    Good Evening, Good Nite, GOOD BEER!

                    Comment


                      Originally posted by rarocks24
                      Sam (from Moebius part 1) Screw the timeline! Shoot the S&*!


                      <any system lord>:I think I'll move to the USA and run for president.

                      Spoiler:
                      Ba'al anyone?
                      Good Evening, Good Nite, GOOD BEER!

                      Comment


                        Cameron and Jack(singing):
                        Where Oh where are you tonight?
                        Why did you leave me here all aloooone?
                        I searched the world over and thought I found true love.
                        You met another and Ptptptpt you were gone.
                        "The Clarke Postulate - One's ability to correctly explain advanced theoretical thermodynamics as applied to string theory within a fictional context is directly related to one's ability to cook the perfect lemon chicken with mushrooms in a nice garlic butter sauce. While some use this unexpected correlation as proof of intelligent design, I believe that its all about the person's choice of mushrooms.

                        I also believe that there is a tear developing in the space-time continuum which if left uncheck will allow Microsoft to become a world power. I suspect that unless we all download Firefox 3 on the same day, thus sealing the tear, that life as we know it may be over and children will have their teddy bears and blankets ripped mercilessly from their arms.

                        Comment


                          Hammond: I CAN permit that

                          O'Neall: Ahhhhhhhh lets just leave him there

                          Carter: Why are you asking me how i am i sopposed to know?

                          Daniel: I mis-read the achient tablet

                          Teal'c: The Goa'uld are Gods!

                          Jonas: I'm gay!

                          Mitchell: I can't do this
                          Jedi_Master_Bra'tac, previously known as wako!


                          Comment


                            Jack: It's time for my NEW favorite show: Wormhole Xtreme.
                            Carter: Blondes DO have more offworld fun.
                            Teal'c: It's true. I do prefer white women.
                            Hammond to Jack: It's my honor to present you with this Good Conduct ribbon.
                            Young Jack: In another life I was an AF pilot who went on to save this rock from alien invaders.
                            Haley: Yea, I know; sometimes I'm as dumb as a box of rocks.
                            Janet: There's a certain alien child that has reached puberty and it's driving me insane!

                            "We'll keep the light on for you."

                            Comment


                              The Powers That Be: I think we should take out the Ori and replace them with the Teletubbies.

                              Comment


                                Originally posted by TechnoWraith
                                The Powers That Be: I think we should take out the Ori and replace them with the Teletubbies.
                                I'm all for it!

                                sigpic
                                Gate City - My humorous Stargate site made when I was young, enjoy!
                                Previously known as False hope who was previously known as McKay's girl

                                Comment

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