Story Nine
Technobabble
Technobabble
Spoiler:
“Hey, Carter. Are you done with that project yet?â€
The General poked his head through the doorway leading to the Colonel’s lab, his face flush with hope. Looking up, Sam grimaced. She could tell that he’d been trying to be patient. He hadn’t bothered her for at least an hour, when he’d asked her at lunch what kind of progress she’d been making. Unfortunately, by then, she’d just deduced that the issue wasn’t the power source or a bad connection with the terminals, both of which had already checked out as fully functional.
“I’m sorry, sir.†Sam sat back on her stool, bracing her forearms on the table in front of her. Sighing without meaning to, she tilted her head to one side, chewing on her bottom lip for a moment before explaining. “I haven’t been able to determine exactly what the problem is quite yet. I’m still working on the initial determinates—whether all of the innards are functioning properly, or if something has just been jarred loose from long-term use or damage.â€
“So it’s not a battery issue?†That had been his hope—he’d stated as much while dropping the device off in her lab that morning.
His own attempts at futzing with it (his words, not hers) had been in vain, so he’d brought it by before his morning briefing with SG-9, who had been heading out to negotiate trade relations with some planet that had abundant supplies of something important. Or so he’d been told. His mind at that moment had been on other—more important things—like how to get this contraption up and running by the time he needed it.
Carter glanced up at the clock on her laboratory wall. He’d given her a deadline of three in the afternoon. Zero hour for his meeting with Woolsey and the other delegates of the IOA.
Noting her preoccupation with the time, the General’s mind returned to batteries—or whatever those round, little things the device used were called. “You can’t just plug some more in?â€
Sam shook her head. “No—like I said earlier, sir, the energy source and output is all within the acceptable range—I even placed the power packs within an alternate device in order to determine if they were truly dysfunctional even when my load indicator demonstrated that they were giving a normal output. It has to be an internal snafu. It’s definitely not, as you say, a ‘battery issue’.â€
“Damn.†His disappointment showed clearly in his grimace, and in the way he raked his fingers through his perennially tousled gray hair. “Then what else could it be?â€
“Well, sir, it could be anything.†She lifted a hand and brushed absently at a tic in her cheek. Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she poked at a small, dark, glass object. “This, for example. This display uses a specific form of crystal technology that distorts when electrical charges or impulses are fed though the crystals. The charges formulate patterns visible to the human eye and recognizable only when light passes through them.â€
Sam lifted a second, clear piece of material, turning it so that he could see. “A secondary visual interface then refracts or reflects light depending on specificity of circumstance and availability of alternate light sources, thus providing the viewer with a more clear optical experience. Change or displace anything within that process, and the entire display won’t work.â€
O’Neill took a furtive step closer to the table, with its bounty of highly important and immensely breakable stuff. Reaching out, he tentatively poked a piece of the device. “What about this thing? What does it do?â€
Sam immediately stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Please don’t touch that, sir.â€
“Why not?â€
“That’s the internal processing core—kind of like a motherboard in the modern computer.†His raised eyebrows reminded Sam of the futility of that sort of comparison. Shifting on her stool, she tried again. “It’s the device’s brains. Energy and impulses from outside switches and various kinds of user guided input are detected by the processors, and then interpreted in order to be sent on to the micro-processors and transistory units necessary to act on the information provided initially.â€
The Colonel paused, gauging his reaction. From the intent concentration on his face, and the fact that he hadn’t yet plugged his ears with his fingers and begun to hum, she figured the General was still following her. Taking a deep breath, she continued. “My next course of action will be to link up the internal processing core to an alternate display type and determine if something isn’t firing correctly within the unit. Perhaps there are transistors that are malfunctioning. One simple interruption in a single interpretive process is sometimes enough to throw off the rest of the communication within the device.â€
“So, you’re telling me that you need more time?†His voice sounded tired, resigned.
She paused, flicking a look in his direction. “I’m telling you that without more information about exactly how this device processes information, and exactly what you did to it to prevent it from performing its basic functions, it will take more time to determine the proper course of action necessary to repair it.â€
The General frowned, his gaze intent on the multitudinous pieces of the contraption on her table. With a sigh, he looked up at her. “You know I need this.â€
“I do, sir. For your meeting with the IOA.†She nodded, then returned her attention to the device, its pieces laid out in an orderly jumble on her laboratory table. “Although the purpose it might serve is questionable.â€
“Trust me—it’s necessary.â€
“Okay—well, then, I guess I’d better get back to work, sir.â€
The General nodded, then took a step backward. Obviously reluctant to leave, he thrust his hands down into his pockets, and rocked back on his heels. “I’m sure you’re doing the best you can.â€
“Always, sir.â€
He nodded again, then turned and headed out the door.
----OOOOOOO----
“He’s asking for it, again.â€
Sam groaned and lifted her head from the nest of her arms. Turning slightly on her stool, she angled her vision at Daniel, who was leaning casually against the door jamb of her lab, the cup of coffee in his hand completely ubiquitous. She blew out an exasperated breath. “I know. And I still don’t have any answers for him.â€
“You really can’t make it work?â€
“No. And that’s the thing. It’s finally completely crapped out, and I can’t do anything about it.â€
Daniel’s brows rose above the frames of his glasses. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that before.â€
“Well, I’m not perfect.†She glared at him when he opened his mouth. “And one word—just one—about blowing up that damned sun, and I’ll make you tell him that it can’t be repaired.â€
Daniel grinned. “A little testy today?â€
“Just annoyed.†She indicated the components scattered across her table. “Look at that mess. And he gives me—what—four hours to fix it? What is he thinking?â€
“Oh, now Sam.†Daniel moved into the lab, capturing her rolling stool with his foot and shoving it toward the lab table. Balancing his coffee carefully, he lowered himself to sit, his smile carefully muted. “Come now. Don’t tell me that you’ve given up?â€
She shook her head, her blond hair glinting gold in the light from her desk lamp. “I can’t do it, Daniel. It’s beyond my capabilities.â€
“You’ve fixed mother ships in less time.â€
“Those are pretty straight-forward pieces of technology.†She rested her elbow on the table, balancing her cheek on the backs of her fingers. “This thing is completely convoluted. It makes no sense.â€
“Sam, it’s an earthbound piece of machinery.â€
“Yes, and the earthbound idiots who designed it can go right ahead and repair it.†She flicked a piece of plastic with her finger.
“I think that they intend for these things to get broken and be replaced by their users.†Daniel lifted the cup to his lips, “At least that seems to be what they’re thinking.â€
“Well, far be it for them to create something that will last.â€
“Not that you’re bitter or anything.â€
Sam’s brows lowered over narrowed eyes. “Who’s bitter?â€
Daniel shifted uncomfortably on his stool. Unconsciously, he pushed himself slightly away from the table. “Now, Sam. I didn’t mean that as an insult.â€
“Mm-hmm.†Her nod was decidedly sarcastic.
“Come on, Sam.†Daniel’s tone turned wheedling. “Let’s go and tell him. At the very least, it’ll get him off your back. I’ll be right beside you the whole time.â€
“Nope—I think it’s just time for Plan B.†She sighed again—reflecting that it seemed to be becoming a habit. Standing, she crossed to a winky blinky array that stood in the corner of her lab. Fitting her fingers under the bottom edge of the case, she popped the front panel open and swung it aside. “Which model is that one?â€
“Uh—†Daniel stood and flipped the casing of the broken device over. “SP? It’s blue, if that helps.â€
Sam muttered for a while behind the panel, emerging with a small parcel in her hands. “Luckily, they’re old, so I can still get them on eBay for not too much. I keep several units like this around—just in case.†She closed the panel with a snap, then crossed back to her lab table and removed the bubble plastic wrapped around the little device. “I guess I should be happy he hasn’t discovered the newer technology.â€
“But then what would you do on your days off?†Daniel swirled the coffee in his cup, watching as she searched for and found a cartridge in the debris on her table. “You know you enjoy this.â€
Sam seated the cartridge firmly in its place and then took a moment to gather up the components of the broken contrivance. With one last look at them, she dumped them into her trash can and then held up the replacement. “Come on, Daniel.â€
Just as she was turning towards the door, a gray head popped around the jamb. “Carter?â€
“Yes, sir.â€
The General crossed the threshold slowly, glancing around her at the now-empty table top. “Please tell me you have good news.â€
“Here you go, sir.†She held out the device, her expression the perfect mixture of triumph and humility. “Good as new.â€
The General stepped forward and took it out of her hand. “Carter—you are the best. I couldn’t have gotten through this meeting without serious help.†He gazed at the Gameboy for a moment in adoration. “And you even buffed the scratch out of the front. It looks like it’s new.â€
She shrugged, a defining portrait of self-deprecation. “I do my best, sir.â€
“Yes, well. I appreciate it.†He held it up, turning back towards the door. As he exited, he looked back over his shoulder. “Truly—thanks.â€
“No problem, sir.†She listened as his footsteps faded down the hall. Turning towards Daniel, she raised her brows. “So—need a refill? I could use a soda.â€
But Daniel only shook his head, staring at her over the frames of his glasses, his cup of coffee stuck halfway to his mouth. “Sam, you are such a cheater.â€
And she smiled demurely, turning towards the door of her lab. As she passed through the opening, she glanced behind her. “Come on. Let’s go.â€
Daniel emitted a heavy sigh, the slow shaking of his head more of an indictment than any words would have been. “I still say you’re a cheater.â€
But Sam only grinned more widely. “Shut up, Daniel.â€
The General poked his head through the doorway leading to the Colonel’s lab, his face flush with hope. Looking up, Sam grimaced. She could tell that he’d been trying to be patient. He hadn’t bothered her for at least an hour, when he’d asked her at lunch what kind of progress she’d been making. Unfortunately, by then, she’d just deduced that the issue wasn’t the power source or a bad connection with the terminals, both of which had already checked out as fully functional.
“I’m sorry, sir.†Sam sat back on her stool, bracing her forearms on the table in front of her. Sighing without meaning to, she tilted her head to one side, chewing on her bottom lip for a moment before explaining. “I haven’t been able to determine exactly what the problem is quite yet. I’m still working on the initial determinates—whether all of the innards are functioning properly, or if something has just been jarred loose from long-term use or damage.â€
“So it’s not a battery issue?†That had been his hope—he’d stated as much while dropping the device off in her lab that morning.
His own attempts at futzing with it (his words, not hers) had been in vain, so he’d brought it by before his morning briefing with SG-9, who had been heading out to negotiate trade relations with some planet that had abundant supplies of something important. Or so he’d been told. His mind at that moment had been on other—more important things—like how to get this contraption up and running by the time he needed it.
Carter glanced up at the clock on her laboratory wall. He’d given her a deadline of three in the afternoon. Zero hour for his meeting with Woolsey and the other delegates of the IOA.
Noting her preoccupation with the time, the General’s mind returned to batteries—or whatever those round, little things the device used were called. “You can’t just plug some more in?â€
Sam shook her head. “No—like I said earlier, sir, the energy source and output is all within the acceptable range—I even placed the power packs within an alternate device in order to determine if they were truly dysfunctional even when my load indicator demonstrated that they were giving a normal output. It has to be an internal snafu. It’s definitely not, as you say, a ‘battery issue’.â€
“Damn.†His disappointment showed clearly in his grimace, and in the way he raked his fingers through his perennially tousled gray hair. “Then what else could it be?â€
“Well, sir, it could be anything.†She lifted a hand and brushed absently at a tic in her cheek. Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she poked at a small, dark, glass object. “This, for example. This display uses a specific form of crystal technology that distorts when electrical charges or impulses are fed though the crystals. The charges formulate patterns visible to the human eye and recognizable only when light passes through them.â€
Sam lifted a second, clear piece of material, turning it so that he could see. “A secondary visual interface then refracts or reflects light depending on specificity of circumstance and availability of alternate light sources, thus providing the viewer with a more clear optical experience. Change or displace anything within that process, and the entire display won’t work.â€
O’Neill took a furtive step closer to the table, with its bounty of highly important and immensely breakable stuff. Reaching out, he tentatively poked a piece of the device. “What about this thing? What does it do?â€
Sam immediately stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Please don’t touch that, sir.â€
“Why not?â€
“That’s the internal processing core—kind of like a motherboard in the modern computer.†His raised eyebrows reminded Sam of the futility of that sort of comparison. Shifting on her stool, she tried again. “It’s the device’s brains. Energy and impulses from outside switches and various kinds of user guided input are detected by the processors, and then interpreted in order to be sent on to the micro-processors and transistory units necessary to act on the information provided initially.â€
The Colonel paused, gauging his reaction. From the intent concentration on his face, and the fact that he hadn’t yet plugged his ears with his fingers and begun to hum, she figured the General was still following her. Taking a deep breath, she continued. “My next course of action will be to link up the internal processing core to an alternate display type and determine if something isn’t firing correctly within the unit. Perhaps there are transistors that are malfunctioning. One simple interruption in a single interpretive process is sometimes enough to throw off the rest of the communication within the device.â€
“So, you’re telling me that you need more time?†His voice sounded tired, resigned.
She paused, flicking a look in his direction. “I’m telling you that without more information about exactly how this device processes information, and exactly what you did to it to prevent it from performing its basic functions, it will take more time to determine the proper course of action necessary to repair it.â€
The General frowned, his gaze intent on the multitudinous pieces of the contraption on her table. With a sigh, he looked up at her. “You know I need this.â€
“I do, sir. For your meeting with the IOA.†She nodded, then returned her attention to the device, its pieces laid out in an orderly jumble on her laboratory table. “Although the purpose it might serve is questionable.â€
“Trust me—it’s necessary.â€
“Okay—well, then, I guess I’d better get back to work, sir.â€
The General nodded, then took a step backward. Obviously reluctant to leave, he thrust his hands down into his pockets, and rocked back on his heels. “I’m sure you’re doing the best you can.â€
“Always, sir.â€
He nodded again, then turned and headed out the door.
----OOOOOOO----
“He’s asking for it, again.â€
Sam groaned and lifted her head from the nest of her arms. Turning slightly on her stool, she angled her vision at Daniel, who was leaning casually against the door jamb of her lab, the cup of coffee in his hand completely ubiquitous. She blew out an exasperated breath. “I know. And I still don’t have any answers for him.â€
“You really can’t make it work?â€
“No. And that’s the thing. It’s finally completely crapped out, and I can’t do anything about it.â€
Daniel’s brows rose above the frames of his glasses. “Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that before.â€
“Well, I’m not perfect.†She glared at him when he opened his mouth. “And one word—just one—about blowing up that damned sun, and I’ll make you tell him that it can’t be repaired.â€
Daniel grinned. “A little testy today?â€
“Just annoyed.†She indicated the components scattered across her table. “Look at that mess. And he gives me—what—four hours to fix it? What is he thinking?â€
“Oh, now Sam.†Daniel moved into the lab, capturing her rolling stool with his foot and shoving it toward the lab table. Balancing his coffee carefully, he lowered himself to sit, his smile carefully muted. “Come now. Don’t tell me that you’ve given up?â€
She shook her head, her blond hair glinting gold in the light from her desk lamp. “I can’t do it, Daniel. It’s beyond my capabilities.â€
“You’ve fixed mother ships in less time.â€
“Those are pretty straight-forward pieces of technology.†She rested her elbow on the table, balancing her cheek on the backs of her fingers. “This thing is completely convoluted. It makes no sense.â€
“Sam, it’s an earthbound piece of machinery.â€
“Yes, and the earthbound idiots who designed it can go right ahead and repair it.†She flicked a piece of plastic with her finger.
“I think that they intend for these things to get broken and be replaced by their users.†Daniel lifted the cup to his lips, “At least that seems to be what they’re thinking.â€
“Well, far be it for them to create something that will last.â€
“Not that you’re bitter or anything.â€
Sam’s brows lowered over narrowed eyes. “Who’s bitter?â€
Daniel shifted uncomfortably on his stool. Unconsciously, he pushed himself slightly away from the table. “Now, Sam. I didn’t mean that as an insult.â€
“Mm-hmm.†Her nod was decidedly sarcastic.
“Come on, Sam.†Daniel’s tone turned wheedling. “Let’s go and tell him. At the very least, it’ll get him off your back. I’ll be right beside you the whole time.â€
“Nope—I think it’s just time for Plan B.†She sighed again—reflecting that it seemed to be becoming a habit. Standing, she crossed to a winky blinky array that stood in the corner of her lab. Fitting her fingers under the bottom edge of the case, she popped the front panel open and swung it aside. “Which model is that one?â€
“Uh—†Daniel stood and flipped the casing of the broken device over. “SP? It’s blue, if that helps.â€
Sam muttered for a while behind the panel, emerging with a small parcel in her hands. “Luckily, they’re old, so I can still get them on eBay for not too much. I keep several units like this around—just in case.†She closed the panel with a snap, then crossed back to her lab table and removed the bubble plastic wrapped around the little device. “I guess I should be happy he hasn’t discovered the newer technology.â€
“But then what would you do on your days off?†Daniel swirled the coffee in his cup, watching as she searched for and found a cartridge in the debris on her table. “You know you enjoy this.â€
Sam seated the cartridge firmly in its place and then took a moment to gather up the components of the broken contrivance. With one last look at them, she dumped them into her trash can and then held up the replacement. “Come on, Daniel.â€
Just as she was turning towards the door, a gray head popped around the jamb. “Carter?â€
“Yes, sir.â€
The General crossed the threshold slowly, glancing around her at the now-empty table top. “Please tell me you have good news.â€
“Here you go, sir.†She held out the device, her expression the perfect mixture of triumph and humility. “Good as new.â€
The General stepped forward and took it out of her hand. “Carter—you are the best. I couldn’t have gotten through this meeting without serious help.†He gazed at the Gameboy for a moment in adoration. “And you even buffed the scratch out of the front. It looks like it’s new.â€
She shrugged, a defining portrait of self-deprecation. “I do my best, sir.â€
“Yes, well. I appreciate it.†He held it up, turning back towards the door. As he exited, he looked back over his shoulder. “Truly—thanks.â€
“No problem, sir.†She listened as his footsteps faded down the hall. Turning towards Daniel, she raised her brows. “So—need a refill? I could use a soda.â€
But Daniel only shook his head, staring at her over the frames of his glasses, his cup of coffee stuck halfway to his mouth. “Sam, you are such a cheater.â€
And she smiled demurely, turning towards the door of her lab. As she passed through the opening, she glanced behind her. “Come on. Let’s go.â€
Daniel emitted a heavy sigh, the slow shaking of his head more of an indictment than any words would have been. “I still say you’re a cheater.â€
But Sam only grinned more widely. “Shut up, Daniel.â€
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