Col. Sheppard and the nutty whumpers - SGA pic fics

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

Ok, most these stories were inspired by discussions on the Shep whump thread, so apologies if some of them don´t make any sense as standalones but since it´s nothing really official with the SGA world, just a crazy mind on the loose... it fits better here.


Disclaimer: This is all whumping, but all done out of love and compassion for the Col of total hotness, just cause he´s so darn whumpalicious. No offense intended, and hopefully be seen as the good fun it was supposed to be. I´m NOT mocking Sheppard or the show in any way, just giving him a bit of "tough love" ... and have him deal with certain fan reactions to spoiler news....


All new part (would be 33 now, but let´s just start over.... )





McKay: Sheppard!! You should see this!!
Shep: What?!
Zelenka: You´re not gonna like it, Colonel!



Shep: Oh crap! There´s a whole new thread about this now?!
SAF: Yep! Isn´t it lovely?!



Shep: So... now that´s not hidden between several decent pages anymore?! Just you whumpers and me?!
SAF: Precisely. Let´s see how long it lasts....



Shep: Great(!)

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

This is what started it all, so perhaps I should post the first story on here just to get the thread started, will be continued as ideas pop into my mind....and I do tend to build in spoilers a bit, so beware if you don´t wanna get spoiled. But I will try to put up a special warning if I do so....

previously on Shep and the Whumpers ....

Part 1 - Epiphany

Spoiler:

Shep: What do you mean, I SHOULD get hurt?! My fans are watching this, they LOVE to see the hero dish it out rather than take it! .... Right?!
Teyla: Well, ... you obviously know nothing about whumpers, do you?




Shep: You mean... they are not happy when I ESCAPE the whump?!



Shep: But... but.... I thought they love me....!



Shep: Why would they want to see somebody they love suffer?
Teyla: Uh, they do love you.... it is... err, complicated....



Shep: Fine. But I´m NOT gonna let them watch the whole thing until it officially airs......




McKay: You took out the on-set cameras for the spoiler blog!!
Shep: Yep, I did! A man has to protect his pride!!



McKay: You really shouldn´t have done that. Now your whumpers are gonna throw a fit!
Shep: Well, they just have to be spoilerfree for the moment! By July 11th, they´ll forgive and forget this whole thing ever happend!




McKay: He´s a dead man....!
Ronon: You remember this prayer thing you told me about? Might be a good idea to start now!

Part 2 - Consequences

Spoiler:

McKay:Uh-oh, somebody blew your cover! The whumpers know what you did!
Shep: Nah, that can´t be!



Shep: You don´t think they want ACTUAL payback, do you?
McKay: Err...



McKay: Yeah, they do! They want blood now, YOUR blood! Bleeding head.... naked in the infirmary, defib ..... oh geez, they want the whole set now! AND they are sending two of their own over here!
Shep: Are they serious?!?!



McKay: See, I told you! What are you gonna do now?!
Shep: Relax.... our powers that be will never give in to them!



McKay: Well, ONE of them just got access to the set!! You paid your life insurance?
Shep: A little trust here?! I can take ONE whumper!



RepliWeir: I heard she´s bringing a friend!
McKay: So, one can hold you down while the other....
Shep:. Yeah thanks.... not helping!


McKay: where are you going?
Shep: Well, I know this city better than anyone... I can outrun them!



Ronon: So, this prayer thing.... didn´t take huh? I´ll say ... you´re screwed!

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

Part 3 - Hide & Seek

Spoiler:

Shep: I kill Rodney! Can´t even keep one gate address a secret!



Shep: Come on, ladies! You know I did this for you! Don´t wanna get spoilered out of all the fun, right?!! You should be thanking me!!



Shep: CRAP!! Who gave them a stunner?! That´s cheating!!



Shep: I´m sorry! Really!!! Please don´t use that thing on me!!!



Shep: You gals are really scary, you know that???

Part 4 - Cure

Spoiler:

Shep: Hey, I had them exactly where I wanted them!!



Shep: But some jerk gave them a stunner!



Shep: Anyway, glad it´s over now....



Shep: Oh god! where does this headache come from...



whumper off-screen: Morning! Just gave you something to help you heal faster.... *giggles* *runs out*



Shep: Alright, fess up!! Who let the whumper back in ????



Lorne: Come on sir, it´s not so bad this time! You´re lucky we still had the cure from last time! You can´t even see it anymore... well, not much of it



Shep: I really didn´t wanna say ANYTHING--- but the so-called security on Atlantis SUCKS!

Well, that about sums up the beginning....

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

Inspired by JM´s recent blog re Remnants

Spoiler:

having a scene that will have the Shep whumpers scream YES!! And then NO! NO!! NOOOOO!!!

pic fic

Part 5 - Just a cup of coffee...

Spoiler:

Whumper: So, any idea of what he means by that?
Shep: Honestly? I´m as clueless as you about this....



Whumper: It´s just.... we don´t wanna get our hopes all up and then get zilch....
Shep: Yeah, I was afraid you were gonna say that!



Shep: It might just be a flashback scene or something like a dream sequence
Whumper: hm....



Shep: This is just great! Can´t you gals just wait and see what happens without using me as a punching bag??
Whumper: No. But it´s time to go now... our friend has arrived.



Guard: You heard them, move!
Shep: I think I´ll stay here...
Whumper: Hey we don´t wanna get all cheated out....



Shep: Oh, come on .. I said it MIGHT!!
Whumper: Yeah well, this waiting for new whump news is a bit draining out our squee ZPMs, time to get a refill



Shep: Of all things, why THIS???
Whumper: It´s a classic! Hey, any chance there might be some consequences to deal with after this? Cause that´d be GREAT new whump....



Shep: That was a great idea, John!!! "Just have a coffee with them"... crap!

[scifan]

SAF:


Awesome job!!!

[Pocus]

Looking forward to more!!!

[cc_mac]

Lovin these SAF!!!

[CazzBlade]

You're a star SAF!

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

Thanks, guys Glad you like it!!

Part 6 - Bed & Breakfast

Spoiler:

Shep: You sure about this?
Beckett: I´m afraid this will have to become your new best friend!



Shep: It´s a BED! A SHORT bed!!
RepliWeir: But it´s still your whumpers favorite setting for you!



Shep: But that´s not really any place for an action hero to spend the entire episode, I`ll come off all like a wuss!!
McKay: Don´t be ridiculous, it will only show that you´re human! Dammit, my foot fell asleep!



Shep: That´s another point! I´ll get cold feet in there!
McKay: You´re afraid of BEDS?!
Shep: I meant LITERALLY cold feet, the beds are too short, my feet will dangle in the air!!!



McKay: That´s such a nitpicky thing to say, it won´t even be on the screen most the time!
Shep: It will, and they´ll notice if I keep my boots on!!
McKay: You really need to stop complaining, it´s a bit out of character! And to be honest, I always thought you should look a lil more battered sometimes! It´s just not normal for an action hero to stay all pretty and have his hair in perfect place after getting some whump!



Shep: Alright, let´s see if I can get this bed in the right position!



Shep: Uh, how does it work again with the Chi, err, Chai, Chu.... or whatever that is called? More to the left, or right?! Aw, screw it....!!



Teyla: And?! Any luck getting more comfortable?
Shep: Nuh-uh!! Really not!



Shep: You know, if this will be a regular setting for me, I´ll need some comfort food, you think I could have a turkey sandwich every morning? And my hair might seriously need a stunt double, it can´t get whumped like this!!
Teyla: It won´t be for ENTIRE episodes, you know?!
Shep: Still....

[charlie24]

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

Part 7 - Count Sheppard and his castle of whump/thunkers

seriously, check the whump thread!!

Spoiler:

Carter: You know, those crazy whumpers want to actually go vampire on you now, or.. well, have YOU do a bit of....
Shep: Told you théy´re nuts!
Carter: So, what´s your plan?



Shep: Well, if one of them tries to bite, I´ll just put this in their face and tell them I´m not afraid to use it!
Mitchell: And what good will a lemon do you with them?



Shep: Well, they hate to be in a bitter mood!
Mitchell: It´s a lemon!!!
Shep: Always works with McKay!!!!



Mitchell: And what if they are NOT allergic to citrus?! They´re not easily scared, you know!
Shep: That.... uh, could be a problem....
Mitchell: Well, at least you would show a bit of action hero blood for a change!

[xXValaXx]

Part 7 - Count Sheppard and his castle of whump/thunkers

seriously, check the whump thread!!

Spoiler:

Carter: You know, those crazy whumpers want to actually go vampire on you now, or.. well, have YOU do a bit of....
Shep: Told you théy´re nuts!
Carter: So, what´s your plan?



Shep: Well, if one of them tries to bite, I´ll just put this in their face and tell them I´m not afraid to use it!
Mitchell: And what good will a lemon do you with them?



Shep: Well, they hate to be in a bitter mood!
Mitchell: It´s a lemon!!!
Shep: Always works with McKay!!!!



Mitchell: And what if they are NOT allergic to citrus?! They´re not easily scared, you know!
Shep: That.... uh, could be a problem....
Mitchell: Well, at least you would show a bit of action hero blood for a change!

HAHAHAHA *rolls on the floor* haha thats hialrious

[cc_mac]

Brilliant as usual!

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

HAHAHAHA *rolls on the floor* haha thats hialrious

Brilliant as usual!

Thanks Glad you enjoy it!

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

Inspired by spoilers for "Prodigal"

Spoiler:

where Michael is said to return to take another shot at Teyla ... and some whumpers grudge with Michael not going after Shep instead

Part 8 - On a silver tablet

Spoiler:

Shep: What the heck just happend?!
Michael: I beamed you to my place!



Shep: So, what do you want with me now? I was SUPPOSED to safe Teyla.... you´re not going by the plan here....not really sure what I´m supposed to do now....
Michael: Well, I SUPPOSE I´m supposed to whump you now!
Shep: Uh... no, no, no, you got that all backwards... you´re supposed to come after Teyla, remember?! I´m the hero here... not the one in need of rescue....
Michael: Not when your whumpers get a say in that!



Shep: Aw great! Not THEM again!! Can´t they just appreciate the hero being a HERO?!
Michael: Doesn´t appear so. Let´s go then....



Shep: Hey! this beaming is cheating... my head is spinning! And how do you guys GET that anyway.?!
Guard: Very talky, that one!
Shep: Hey don´t I know you?? You remind me of someone...
Guard: Psst, not here! It´s another character!



Michael: Lock the door behind us, we need to have some time alone to get some....
Shep: Oh god! Just tell them you´re gonna kill me!!



Shep: So.... you´re gonna whump me with the sound of a fury keyboard violating, or is there another plan behind your green ears?!
Michael: Honestly I got no idea.... I wanted a child from a human, but I don´t suppose you ....



Shep: Yeah.... I´m not exactly a seahorse! Sorry buddy!
Michael: What is a seahorse?!
Shep: You know what?! Doesn´t really matter! So, are we gonna fight?! You´re gonna turn me into a hybrid? Beat me up? What´s the plan here?
Michael: Um....



Shep: I´m getting a bit bored here!! You call yourself a whumper? Come on, you pretty much have me on a silver tablet now...
Michael: I, uh.... but you´re not Teyla....
Shep: Well spotted! I got two words for you!



Shep: Goodbye, Michael!
*Michael drops to the floor*



Shep: Huh?! This quick?! Aw come on, even I know that was a cop out! Way too easy!! There wasn´t even whump...
SAF: Ís it MY fault that you two never got into an onscreen fight??!! *pouts* You really need to work on that!!! Enjoy your win for now, who knows how long it will last....
Shep: I´ll keep that in mind
SAF: You better do!