i'm thinking of doing a new SG-1 fic, probably for Fanfiction.net, or wherever else people usually wright FF. Anyways, I was wondering what some people who know a bit more about SG thought of some of my dieas and plan. Normally of course I don't write with a plan, but for ocne I mgiht.
Early draft for C1:
The birds of Planet Sx-1441 cawed above Sg-1 as they slowly made there way through the dense undergrowth back towards the gate. There seemed to be nothing on this planet, just the ruins of an old Ancient outpost and the ruins of a city that had once been home to an Earth like civilisation.
Now they walked back towards the gate one the road that these long-gone people had built. A few shell-shocked houses stood at either side, trees and planets sprouting through ruined roofs. Daniel stooped and went over to one, carefully making his way though the doorway. The door still stood there, hanging from one rusted hinge. Though it’s back was patted with shrapnel the white paint still clung on to the wood, barley peeling.
For an odd reason it reminded Dan of home. He stood in the entrance a moment longer surveying the scene. Through a shattered wall he could see a bed, the front too legs destroyed. The covers still hung there, slowly rotting away and revealing the bodies. Killed while sleeping, Dan thought, never had a chance. He turned away, disgusted and caught a glimpse of another bed, it was smaller and it’s brightly coloured covers designated it that of a child. There was no body inside it though and Dan hoped the kid had escaped.
“You done, nature boy?” Jack called from the road. “What’s so interesting about that house anyway.” Dan tried to ignore him, but thoughts where beginning to tumble through his mind. This house couldn’t have been hit more than a year ago, it wasn’t rotted enough., Yet trees and plants had already begun to colonise it. A great redwood was pushing it’s way through the flooring, having already reached a height which would have taken it hundreds of years to reach on earth.
“I said are you done?” Jack called again and Daniel turned, and nodded, climbing back towards the road.
“I’m done.”
“Good, cause we’ve got only a few minutes until it’s time to go back.” Daniel reached the road and the column carried on marching towards the clearing. Today there where only three of them, Ti’lk having gone to a Jaffa council meeting. Dan took the lead, Sam the middle and Jack the rear.
Daniel considered that strange house more as they walked, it must be the climate, he decided, the plants must grow quicker here. Or maybe they aren’t like the earth plants, maybe there different, they look like out planets but grow quicker. That must be it. Must be.
The road bended a little here and Dan snapped back to reality, it was the perfect place for an ambush, there might still be a war going on here, though they didn’t know it. A thousand enemy soldier might suddenly jump out…
What he didn’t expect was a dark skinned little boy standing in the middle of the road facing them. He was crying and Dan started forwards but then he noticed the gun in the boys hands. It was a big gun. It was the sort of gun that could do a lot of damage,that could give you serious injuries, like being dead.
“Hey.” He started, then stopped as the boy brought the gun up, aiming directly at him. He heard the footsteps behind him stop as Jack and Sam came round the corner. The boy looked fraught at this and the gun wavered a little. Dans hand began to slide down towards his pistol. It was the nightmare situation, he didn’t want to hurt the kid, killing a child was his worst nightmare, but it looked like he had no choice, nor did Jack or Sam. The kid had him at his mercy.
He heard the sharp click behind his a Jack primed his weapon. The boy look more hurried. Maybe Dan could talk him out of shooting. He stepped towards the kid, “Hey, I think there been a mistake here, you don’t want to….”With a great roar the gun fire, the bullet flying just over Dans shoulder, Dan dropped rolled to his left, his hand going to his pistol at exactly the same time as Jack fired.
He fired one shot, aiming low, and the bullet caught the boys shin. The kid cried out in pain and dropped, spinning a he fell. The gun flew out of his hands into the jungle nearby. Sam was already running forward towards the child, her hands going toward her med-pack. Jack meanwhile made his way to Dan, offering a hand.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, thanks for that.” Dan smiled and his superior smiled back, turning towards Sam that was bent over the kid.
“How is he?” He asked, and Same looked up for a second before going back to her work.
“You broke his shin, he’s passed out.”
“But he’s going to be okay?”
“Yes, sir.” Jack began to make his way down the track.
“Then lets get off, common Carter. You take the rear Jackson, I’ll take the Van seeing as you weren’t able to handle it.” Dan and Sam exchanged glances before Carter raised the objection.
“He needs medical attention, sir . We can’t leave him in the jungle like this-he can’t walk, he’ll die.” Jack turned and nodded at his two troops.
“We’ll take him with us, maybe we can find out why he attacked us, Jackson, you carry him, Carter you take the rear. We’ve got,” He checked his watch, “2 minutes before we’re supposed to be home, lets go.”
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end chapter. Anyways, I knwo theres some problems- probably using Dan instead of Daniel is one, but I wanted to personalise it. Anyways any ideas would be nice, currently my plan is for him to be taken back to the SGC for Chapter two, and we can discover a bit mroe about him later on.
The other problems are probably the spelling of Ti'lk (Wrong I know) and Jacks chararter.
Early draft for C1:
The birds of Planet Sx-1441 cawed above Sg-1 as they slowly made there way through the dense undergrowth back towards the gate. There seemed to be nothing on this planet, just the ruins of an old Ancient outpost and the ruins of a city that had once been home to an Earth like civilisation.
Now they walked back towards the gate one the road that these long-gone people had built. A few shell-shocked houses stood at either side, trees and planets sprouting through ruined roofs. Daniel stooped and went over to one, carefully making his way though the doorway. The door still stood there, hanging from one rusted hinge. Though it’s back was patted with shrapnel the white paint still clung on to the wood, barley peeling.
For an odd reason it reminded Dan of home. He stood in the entrance a moment longer surveying the scene. Through a shattered wall he could see a bed, the front too legs destroyed. The covers still hung there, slowly rotting away and revealing the bodies. Killed while sleeping, Dan thought, never had a chance. He turned away, disgusted and caught a glimpse of another bed, it was smaller and it’s brightly coloured covers designated it that of a child. There was no body inside it though and Dan hoped the kid had escaped.
“You done, nature boy?” Jack called from the road. “What’s so interesting about that house anyway.” Dan tried to ignore him, but thoughts where beginning to tumble through his mind. This house couldn’t have been hit more than a year ago, it wasn’t rotted enough., Yet trees and plants had already begun to colonise it. A great redwood was pushing it’s way through the flooring, having already reached a height which would have taken it hundreds of years to reach on earth.
“I said are you done?” Jack called again and Daniel turned, and nodded, climbing back towards the road.
“I’m done.”
“Good, cause we’ve got only a few minutes until it’s time to go back.” Daniel reached the road and the column carried on marching towards the clearing. Today there where only three of them, Ti’lk having gone to a Jaffa council meeting. Dan took the lead, Sam the middle and Jack the rear.
Daniel considered that strange house more as they walked, it must be the climate, he decided, the plants must grow quicker here. Or maybe they aren’t like the earth plants, maybe there different, they look like out planets but grow quicker. That must be it. Must be.
The road bended a little here and Dan snapped back to reality, it was the perfect place for an ambush, there might still be a war going on here, though they didn’t know it. A thousand enemy soldier might suddenly jump out…
What he didn’t expect was a dark skinned little boy standing in the middle of the road facing them. He was crying and Dan started forwards but then he noticed the gun in the boys hands. It was a big gun. It was the sort of gun that could do a lot of damage,that could give you serious injuries, like being dead.
“Hey.” He started, then stopped as the boy brought the gun up, aiming directly at him. He heard the footsteps behind him stop as Jack and Sam came round the corner. The boy looked fraught at this and the gun wavered a little. Dans hand began to slide down towards his pistol. It was the nightmare situation, he didn’t want to hurt the kid, killing a child was his worst nightmare, but it looked like he had no choice, nor did Jack or Sam. The kid had him at his mercy.
He heard the sharp click behind his a Jack primed his weapon. The boy look more hurried. Maybe Dan could talk him out of shooting. He stepped towards the kid, “Hey, I think there been a mistake here, you don’t want to….”With a great roar the gun fire, the bullet flying just over Dans shoulder, Dan dropped rolled to his left, his hand going to his pistol at exactly the same time as Jack fired.
He fired one shot, aiming low, and the bullet caught the boys shin. The kid cried out in pain and dropped, spinning a he fell. The gun flew out of his hands into the jungle nearby. Sam was already running forward towards the child, her hands going toward her med-pack. Jack meanwhile made his way to Dan, offering a hand.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, thanks for that.” Dan smiled and his superior smiled back, turning towards Sam that was bent over the kid.
“How is he?” He asked, and Same looked up for a second before going back to her work.
“You broke his shin, he’s passed out.”
“But he’s going to be okay?”
“Yes, sir.” Jack began to make his way down the track.
“Then lets get off, common Carter. You take the rear Jackson, I’ll take the Van seeing as you weren’t able to handle it.” Dan and Sam exchanged glances before Carter raised the objection.
“He needs medical attention, sir . We can’t leave him in the jungle like this-he can’t walk, he’ll die.” Jack turned and nodded at his two troops.
“We’ll take him with us, maybe we can find out why he attacked us, Jackson, you carry him, Carter you take the rear. We’ve got,” He checked his watch, “2 minutes before we’re supposed to be home, lets go.”
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end chapter. Anyways, I knwo theres some problems- probably using Dan instead of Daniel is one, but I wanted to personalise it. Anyways any ideas would be nice, currently my plan is for him to be taken back to the SGC for Chapter two, and we can discover a bit mroe about him later on.
The other problems are probably the spelling of Ti'lk (Wrong I know) and Jacks chararter.
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