Atlantis fanfic "4x20 Komaris"

[ussrelativity]

I love this, just don't pull a "Stargate Writers" on us and blow up the station / screw us over from cool stuff.

I will review all your writing clean/edit, and stuff and set you up with a fanfic mini site for your work if you like.

I'm waiting for more feedback on the plot, but so far, it is positive, and I hope to start writing the next installment in a few days.

And no, the station wasn't destroyed.....

[ussrelativity]

I'll be brief. I haven't really started on the next installment yet, so I would like to get some ideas for how to get this next one going. The fanfic script I am working on will pickup where we left off with Ford. It will be about 2 weeks into his hearings, to keep time settings correct from my last fanfic.

Post a reponse to this, and earn a green point.

[Iambob]

sounds good maybe you should have one of the defense projects go bad and have them emmit an energy signal that attracts the wraith to the planet

[ussrelativity]

sounds good maybe you should have one of the defense projects go bad and have them emmit an energy signal that attracts the wraith to the planet

^ Thanks for responding! I'd green you, but the system won't let me yet.

[Iambob]

Ok, so far I have two hypothesis on what the strange energy pulse was in the unaccessible part of the station.

1) It was a ship that was trying to power up and was stopped due to the interference from the team.

2) It was a stasis pod trying to revive the ancient from the end of the ep, and he activated the phase shift so he could be revived.

[ussrelativity]

Ok, so far I have two hypothesis on what the strange energy pulse was in the unaccessible part of the station.

1) It was a ship that was trying to power up and was stopped due to the interference from the team.

2) It was a stasis pod trying to revive the ancient from the end of the ep, and he activated the phase shift so he could be revived.

I'll say you're closer to the second one.

Also, 5x01 "Second Chance" is being written right now. I should hope to post a portion up soon.

[Iambob]

so do you plan to make a new thread for Second Chance? i think it might attract more readers if you were to make a second thread for the new episode. also so the energy pulse wasnt either of those two? Was it something alerting Komaris to them?

[ussrelativity]

so do you plan to make a new thread for Second Chance? i think it might attract more readers if you were to make a second thread for the new episode. also so the energy pulse wasnt either of those two? Was it something alerting Komaris to them?

The reconfiguration of the power systems from Lorne in the chair interface triggered a failsafe mechanism, along with the internal sensors picking up life signs. The sequence was misinterpreted by the team as a power overload, and they were led to evacuate. Later, they learned it was a phase shifting technology that had similar power spikes that resembled a self destruct.

The preservation of Komaris was due to a far superior, but risky method of preserving him over 10,000 years. From his perspective, no time has passed. To keep him hidden, the Ancients who built the station in secret kept him out of phase as well, to ensure his survival.

[GATEGOD]

amazing i wihs this was an actual episode in the series

[ussrelativity]

I'm hoping to resume work on "Second Chance" soon. After that one is done, I'll begin work on 5x02.

[Elitenova]

just got back from surgery and the meds they gave me make me drowsy and wasnt able get on my computer and read your story. Now I gotten woken up and feels sleepy after another 9 hours of sleep and finally got to read and I cant wait for more.

[immhotep]

Just read the whole this, its really really good. I do love it a heck of alot!
There are a few niggles in the plot, Hermoid being the main one, but because he was on deadalus

Spoiler:

he may have survived the unending incident and not got the asgard disease/latest dose of anti clone cough mixture. Therefore got a reasonable life span left in him, alone now of course

The plot is brilliant, its really really good, i love the station, i love the power distribution arguments (although i cant see why they wouldnt just give the Atlantis team the Odessies ZPM now that it has a Neutrino Ion Generator) But those are little issues.
In terms of Writing, its supurb, and it could be an atlantis episode without even thinking, its really great. The Ronon and Satedan convo, the Teyla and ronon convo, sheppard and ford, Want to see carter a bit more. They have fabrication technology in atlantis now which is great.

Did you change a plot or consider changing it after Unending?

Oh and speculation for Second chance, Komaris is a new kind of Ancient, or the ancients are preserved by a kind of phase shifting time dialation field whereby they go in to another dimention where time moves slowly and come back in to this phase periodically or when they know something is going to happen.

Loved the use of Canon and Janus, that was very good. Wier spurred a group of ancients in to one last attempt at fighting the wraith.

10/10, MGM should hire you or just buy this episode from you, because it really is amazing.

[ussrelativity]

Just read the whole this, its really really good. I do love it a heck of alot!
There are a few niggles in the plot, Hermoid being the main one, but because he was on deadalus

Spoiler:

he may have survived the unending incident and not got the asgard disease/latest dose of anti clone cough mixture. Therefore got a reasonable life span left in him, alone now of course

The plot is brilliant, its really really good, i love the station, i love the power distribution arguments (although i cant see why they wouldnt just give the Atlantis team the Odessies ZPM now that it has a Neutrino Ion Generator) But those are little issues.
In terms of Writing, its supurb, and it could be an atlantis episode without even thinking, its really great. The Ronon and Satedan convo, the Teyla and ronon convo, sheppard and ford, Want to see carter a bit more. They have fabrication technology in atlantis now which is great.

Did you change a plot or consider changing it after Unending?

Oh and speculation for Second chance, Komaris is a new kind of Ancient, or the ancients are preserved by a kind of phase shifting time dialation field whereby they go in to another dimention where time moves slowly and come back in to this phase periodically or when they know something is going to happen.

Loved the use of Canon and Janus, that was very good. Wier spurred a group of ancients in to one last attempt at fighting the wraith.

10/10, MGM should hire you or just buy this episode from you, because it really is amazing.

Thanks for the super, solid feedback. Green points to all who posted here!

I am slowly getting past the halfway point on 5x01, and have gotten past my writers block. If I ever could, I'd love to get some basic sketches done on the station, the Ancient warship design found in the databanks, and some details of the station that were found, i.e. drone room, gate room, etc.

[immhotep]

Trying using Sketchup for simple 3D models. If you can give me extra details on what its meant to look like i might be able to do one, or i know somebody who will do one

[ussrelativity]

It may take me a while to actually get around to it. In the meantime, I will post more of "Second Chance", now that I have more of it done. I'm just over 50% completed now.