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    michael and susie. (wraith fanfic)

    ok i finally finished it, im not that good with wraith related stories so any commentary would be helpful



    *spoilers for season 2 and 3 *

    summary: michael discovers something of interest
    genre: Romance/ Drama

    CH 1
    Michael had done well for himself ever since the escapade with the lantians, a new hive, him as a respected authority, all the food he could want and yet something was missing and it knawed away at him, like hunger pains. He sighed,the sigh of someone too lonely for words. Perhaps a small vacation is in order, yes a vacation to soothe him. "Take the ship to the planet we visited last week" He instructed with that he walked away to tend to other matters.
    When they arrived at the planet michael stepped out of his hive and smelt the fresh air, well some of his mutations by the lantians hands did have a benefit. He immediately went to look around, the woods looked inviting, the cresent moons of all colours shone brightly from above, the starts twinking gently, and as he looked he felt mre relaxed than ever before, almost happy, if he could feel such an emotion. "I wish to explore alone" He told the guards and walked off in a leasurely pace into the gloom.
    After admiring the stretching plains of the planet glistning under the many moons rays he walked further and came to the wood, a peek in here couldnt hurt, many are too scared to confront a wraith, almost gleefully he entered the dark wood.
    As he strolled through the shrubs and plants he came to a clearing hmmmm interesting He thaught as he looked round, there was a large rock not far from him, in the gloom he could see an outline of someone lying on the rock, unmoving. Michael cautiously moved over to the hunched figure, it was wearing lantian clothes, he sharpened his senses, it could be a trap. Finally he reached the rock and tapped the figure, it didnt move, he shook it and again there was no responce, deciding whatever they were it wasnt a threat he flipped the figure over and his breath caught.
    It was a female, her hair almost white but a shock of black ran through it, she was a wraith but looked human, then he noticed something else, she was bleeding from a wound near her hip, he had to get her back to help. Michael lightly picked her up in his strong arms, she was clammy and cold, he ran, ran like he had never before, rushing through the forest, wraith or not she could be useful. Finally he made it back to his ship, the scientists patched her up well in his opinion, he waited by the bed for this unusual female to awaken, now they were out of the moonlight he studied her, there was definate humaness to her, but that only enhanced her features, quite pretty Michael thaught to himself, suddenly she opened her eyes and looked about."where am i?......who am i?"

    To Be Continued
    sigpic

    I'm not dead. Yet.

    #2
    ...is this a Mary Sue fic? If so, I applaud your audacity to actually call the character Susie...

    Comment


      #3
      meh its just my strange strange mind
      sigpic

      I'm not dead. Yet.

      Comment


        #4
        grammar nazi at your service
        Spoiler:
        CH 1
        Michael had done well for himself ever since the escapade with the lantians: a new hive, a respected authority position, all the food he could want; and yet something was missing and it knawed away at him, like hunger pains. He sighed the sigh of someone too lonely for words. Perhaps a small vacation was in order. Yes a vacation to soothe him. "Take the ship to the planet we visited last week," he instructed and walked away to tend to other matters.
        When they arrived at the planet, Michael stepped out of his hive and smelled the fresh air. Some of his mutations by the lantians hands did have a benefit. He immediately went to look around. The woods looked inviting, cresent moons of all colours shone brightly from above, the starts twinking gently, and as he looked, he felt more relaxed than ever before, almost happy, if he could feel such an emotion. "I wish to explore alone," he told the guards as he walked off in a leasurely pace into the gloom.

        After admiring the stretching plains of the planet glistning under the many moons, he walked further and came to the woods. A peek in here couldnt hurt, many are too scared to confront a wraith, he thought and, almost gleefully, entered the dark forest.

        As Michael strolled through the shrubs and plants, he came to a clearing. Hmmmm interesting, he thought as he looked around. There was a large rock not far from him. In the gloom he could see an outline of someone lying on the rock, unmoving. Michael cautiously moved over to the hunched figure. It was wearing lantian clothes. He sharpened his senses; it could be a trap. Finally he reached the rock and tapped the figure; it didnt move. He shook it and again, there was no responce. Deciding whatever it was wasn't a threat, he flipped the figure over and caught his breath.

        It was a female, her hair almost white with a shock of black running through it. She was a wraith but looked human. Then he noticed something else; she was bleeding from a wound near her hip. He had to get her back to help. Michael lightly picked her up in his strong arms. She was clammy and cold. He ran, faster than ever before, rushing through the forest. Wraith or not she could be useful. Finally he made it back to his ship. The scientists patched her up well in his opinion, and he waited by the bed for this unusual female to awaken. Now they were out of the moonlight he studied her; there was definate humaness to her, but that only enhanced her features. Quite pretty, Michael thought to himself. Suddenly she opened her eyes and looked about. "Where am i?......Who am i?"

        wow... Susie, Queen of run-on sentences... you need to fix that before you go to uni.... comma splices everywhere... do that on your first english paper in uni, and you automatically fail the course.... but other than that, it's a pretty good fic...
        I'm a Slasher. I slash. It's what I do.
        sigpic

        Comment


          #5
          I like it, the part human bit is similar to a story i'm writing, not sure wether to post it or not, or even how lol

          Comment


            #6
            interesting story susanne love to read more

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