Fic help.

[Sparky She-Demon]

All kidding aside, with great delicacy and caution. We are talking about not only a death, but the death of a child. People get very het-up about that sort of thing, even if it's in fiction (and particularly after Newtown).

Even if the death is a part of canon?

[SF_and_Coffee]

Yes, even then. And especially given that the twin is NOT canon, siblings are close, twins even closer, and the POV is that of a child, who is not going to have the equanimity an adult just might manage in such a situation. Remember that your POV character has no idea the death is coming (there's no such thing as "it's canon so it's expected" for the people actually in the story).

[Sparky She-Demon]

Yes, even then. And especially given that the twin is NOT canon, siblings are close, twins even closer, and the POV is that of a child, who is not going to have the equanimity an adult just might manage in such a situation. Remember that your POV character has no idea the death is coming (there's no such thing as "it's canon so it's expected" for the people actually in the story).

How would a twin react to something like that? Obviously she'd be devastated, but as I'm an only child, I'm at somewhat of a disadvantage.

[SF_and_Coffee]

Well, I'm an only child too... but my imagination tells me that it's quite likely a twin would feel very much torn asunder, as if having suddenly lost almost half of herself. Not to imply that twins aren't fully individual persons, obviously, but I have some friends who are twins and they're so extremely close as to nearly read each other's minds, almost. They have a very special bond, even closer than most other siblings. Mind, the twins I'm thinking about who have the strongest version of that are identical twins, while Charlie and a twin sister would be fraternal twins. But there's still just... something about having a sibling who shared the womb with you, because unlike a great many other mammals, that's an unusual situation for humans.

[Sparky She-Demon]

Well, I'm an only child too... but my imagination tells me that it's quite likely a twin would feel very much torn asunder, as if having suddenly lost almost half of herself. Not to imply that twins aren't fully individual persons, obviously, but I have some friends who are twins and they're so extremely close as to nearly read each other's minds, almost. They have a very special bond, even closer than most other siblings. Mind, the twins I'm thinking about who have the strongest version of that are identical twins, while Charlie and a twin sister would be fraternal twins. But there's still just... something about having a sibling who shared the womb with you, because unlike a great many other mammals, that's an unusual situation for humans.

I too have two friends who are twins. They're practically identical to anyone who doesn't know them.

It does happen right in front of her as well!

[SF_and_Coffee]

Oh, that poor girl! She's going to be absolutely traumatized.

[Sparky She-Demon]

Oh, that poor girl! She's going to be absolutely traumatized.

I'm up to the point where what happpens...happens. Kinda stuck on the transition.

[Whytewytch]

Oh, that poor girl! She's going to be absolutely traumatized.

This. And everything before. I am also an only child, but I have cousins who are twins--male & female. They were extremely close growing up, like shadowed versions one of the other. Traumatized, devastated, destroyed--all words that are a pale ghost of what she will be feeling.

Honestly, if it was me writing it, I'd have sound, and images that scorch her retina. It would be like stop-motion in her brain or slow-motion. She will notice details, but not necessarily the main gore. Perhaps her shocked mind will perceive the drop of blood that hits his game ball from his first Little League game. Or how the sound stops, only to come roaring back all at once like a freight train. Or perhaps she will feel anger over the birds resuming their singing/chirping. Little things, but not necessarily the destruction of her brother's flesh and bone. Shock will take over and she will focus anywhere but there. That's how I would handle it. You might go a different route. How old again? It's been a while since I've seen this part of the show.

[Whytewytch]

I'm up to the point where what happpens...happens. Kinda stuck on the transition.

If you're stuck in the transition, write the after. Nothing says you have to write sequentially.

[SF_and_Coffee]

My understanding is that Charlie was about nine years old when he died.

[Sparky She-Demon]

If you're stuck in the transition, write the after. Nothing says you have to write sequentially.

So... should I cut to the funeral then or the hospital?

[Gatefan1976]

So... should I cut to the funeral then or the hospital?

Perhaps the ride to or from either?
You are dealing with shock, so it's entirely possible that the twin would not have distinct recollection of the event.

[Sparky She-Demon]

Perhaps the ride to or from either?
You are dealing with shock, so it's entirely possible that the twin would not have distinct recollection of the event.

Thank you Gatefan1976!

[Seaboe Muffinchucker]

Speaking as someone who is not an only child, traumatic events happening to your siblings (although, in my case, I was the injured one, not the witness) have very long lasting effects. My sister is the world's worst backseat driver, in large part from being in the back seat during a car accident (i.e., she had absolutely no control over events).

I happen to think that to write the actual moment is a really, really bad idea. No one wants to read the actual gore and trauma filled moment. Do the lead up, then cut--either to outside the house, the hospital or the funeral.

The sister may also end up hospitalized. She may end up feeling abandoned because of her parents' focus on Charlie. She may feel it's her job to hold the family together, so her failure to succeed can cause mega trauma years later.

All in all, there's no way this is not going to be a very angst ridden story.

Seaboe

[Sparky She-Demon]

How would she end up being hospitalized?