Convention Etiquette: Discussion and Advice on Do's and Don'ts

[Sa'Hut_IH']

A truly appalling list of poor con behaviour from a single recent convention (Lunacon).

http://rm.livejournal.com/1596235.html

FF

yeah I got nuthin'

[Frostfox]

yeah I got nuthin'

I've been going to SF cons since 1982. I've seen all sorts of poor behaviour, but that much at one con? Awfully glad I wasn't there.

FF

[Switch42]

A truly appalling list of poor con behaviour from a single recent convention (Lunacon).

http://rm.livejournal.com/1596235.html

FF

Wow. I don't even know where to begin with all that....

[Skydiver]

honestly, sounds about right for any con. put a few thousand people together and you'll get most if not all of those, especially if there's 1-2 really arrogant and obnoxiously anti-social amongst them

how about the joy my friends and i had at media west a few years ago. the con is heavily attended by slash fans. We're not, we had a ship decorated door...which is a valid decorating category....we were nice when we checked out others doors...yet had to sit in our room and listen to people make gagging noises at the 'disgusting' het ship photos on our door. If i'd done that to them, i'd have been tagged a homophobe and mocked or confronted, yet these folks felt it was okay for them to make their derogatory sounds because - evidentally - discrimination is okay when they're the ones doing it

[discodiva]

Sadly, none of this behaviour surprises me any more....

This is not necessarily because I'm disappointed in Convention attendees....it's the general deterioration of good manners, tolerance and respect that is lacking in the world today....

Sadly, many people feel it is their "right" to do and say whatever they want....one of my most hated phrase(s) is/are "with me, what you see is what you get/I tell it like it is"...much of the time it's an excuse for the user of it to be as rude, hurtful or downright discriminatory as they see fit....

I'm very sorry for those con goers who had to put up with such disgusting individuals, as I too am very sorry for Sky and her friends who also had to put up with insulting behaviour.....but I've seen just as bad behaviour at events I've attended (Cons, gigs, festivals, sports) and sadly expect to see more at various events I attend this year....

It's just up to the rest of us to hopefully hold up the beacon for good manners wherever we go and whatever we attend....with a bit of luck we can one day eradicate the rather rude and vocal element....at least that's what I hope....

Deeds xx

[Jersey13]

...<snip>... If i'd done that to them, i'd have been tagged a homophobe and mocked or confronted, yet these folks felt it was okay for them to make their derogatory sounds because - evidentally - discrimination is okay when they're the ones doing it

Perhaps we should call them 'heterophobes'? Hehe.

Sadly, none of this behaviour surprises me any more....

This is not necessarily because I'm disappointed in Convention attendees....it's the general deterioration of good manners, tolerance and respect that is lacking in the world today....

Sadly, many people feel it is their "right" to do and say whatever they want....one of my most hated phrase(s) is/are "with me, what you see is what you get/I tell it like it is"...much of the time it's an excuse for the user of it to be as rude, hurtful or downright discriminatory as they see fit....

I'm very sorry for those con goers who had to put up with such disgusting individuals, as I too am very sorry for Sky and her friends who also had to put up with insulting behaviour.....but I've seen just as bad behaviour at events I've attended (Cons, gigs, festivals, sports) and sadly expect to see more at various events I attend this year....

It's just up to the rest of us to hopefully hold up the beacon for good manners wherever we go and whatever we attend....with a bit of luck we can one day eradicate the rather rude and vocal element....at least that's what I hope....

Just for a little harmless debate, I feel obligated to point out that not all people who say "I tell it like it is" are necessarily trying to be insulting, condescending, or rude. Some just want a debate, some want to rant amongst a crowd they hope will be sympathetic to their beliefs, but most people know better than to say intentionally hurtful or discriminatory things around people they don't know. There are those out there, like people with Asperger's and such, who will sometimes say things they don't mean to sound so insulting or hurtful, but most people seem to recognize this kind of greatly abberent behavior and ignore it for the sake of more polite conversation.

NOTE: I do not intend for anybody to take this personally, as it is not directed at anyone in particular.

While there does appear to be a trend that more commonly accepts (and even encourages) the expression of very open and vocal opinions on different subjects, I tend to think more often than not that people just need to relax, take a moment to consider making an alteration to their perspective, and develop a thicker skin if they still disagree. There's no point taking discussions and debates too personally, especially if said debates involve controversial topics, like discrimination, morality, or religion -- you'll only end up feeling hurt in the end.

As for bad hygeine, I tend to believe that it is it's own punishment. Who wants to hang around with someone who stinks? People that badly off will either learn better or pay the price for their ignorance.

[discodiva]

Oh indeed I fully agree.....I said "much of the time" as I did not mean it to be a "blanket condemnation" of everyone.....I understand there are those (and I HAVE come across them at Cons) who, due to behavioural problems, may not be as aware as the rest of us how their comments are coming across...


With that in mind, I do think that perhaps I should apologise for letting a personal opinion come across too strong.....which I will do now.....


As for the personal hygiene thing?....well no one wants to hang around with the perpetrators, but sometimes it's hard to escape what IS hanging around all too strongly!.......especially in queues and in the auditoriums...


Deeds xx

[Skydiver]

Perhaps we should call them 'heterophobes'? Hehe.

after that happened, i did that on some lists....there were some people there that outright hated het ship, to the point that they were tearing it apart...i pointed out that 'irrational hatred of homosexual ship is usually tagged being a homophobe, so i guess irrational hatred of het ship makes you a heterophobe, now doesn't it???'

they were not amused

What I always find so funny is how SOME slashers are very derogatory towards the shippers....well folks, hate to break it to you but you're shippers too....you just ship same gender instead of opposing genders. A ship is a ship

sometimes i wish that there was a better term for homosexual ship than slash, because having two such different terms, het ship vs slash, makes it too easy for people to see one as 'better' than the other when they are really just two sides of the same coin


which, screeching back on topic, brings up another con issue....ok, so you ship two characters, don't go getting your knickers in a knot if the ACTORS won't act it out for you. Just because McKay and Keller are a ship on the show, don't go expecting David and Rachel to be all cuddly and kissy. And when they won't do what you want them to do, don't come back on line and tear them apart.

they're actors that have real lives so please don't go expecting them to live as their characters do

[Frostfox]

after that happened, i did that on some lists....there were some people there that outright hated het ship, to the point that they were tearing it apart...i pointed out that 'irrational hatred of homosexual ship is usually tagged being a homophobe, so i guess irrational hatred of het ship makes you a heterophobe, now doesn't it???'

they were not amused

What I always find so funny is how SOME slashers are very derogatory towards the shippers....well folks, hate to break it to you but you're shippers too....you just ship same gender instead of opposing genders. A ship is a ship

sometimes i wish that there was a better term for homosexual ship than slash, because having two such different terms, het ship vs slash, makes it too easy for people to see one as 'better' than the other when they are really just two sides of the same coin


which, screeching back on topic, brings up another con issue....ok, so you ship two characters, don't go getting your knickers in a knot if the ACTORS won't act it out for you. Just because McKay and Keller are a ship on the show, don't go expecting David and Rachel to be all cuddly and kissy. And when they won't do what you want them to do, don't come back on line and tear them apart.

they're actors that have real lives so please don't go expecting them to live as their characters do

They are also often people in a monogamous relationship. What must they and their poor partners feel like, seeing the fans blurring the distinction between character and actor?
Some fans don't seem able (or willing) to separate their fantasies about the characters from the reality of the actors. And that's a pan-fandom, pan-relationship issue across media fandom.

FF

[BruTak]

A truly appalling list of poor con behaviour from a single recent convention (Lunacon).

http://rm.livejournal.com/1596235.html

FF

Yup, I have to say I've encountered pretty much all of them at one time or another in my almost 20 years of con going.

However, if I might add one to the list?

"Do not annoy the designated medics while they are treating a casualty. Just because you have a certificate in First Aid does not mean you are more qualified that someone who is trained as a paramedic."

[Frostfox]

Yup, I have to say I've encountered pretty much all of them at one time or another in my almost 20 years of con going.

However, if I might add one to the list?

"Do not annoy the designated medics while they are treating a casualty. Just because you have a certificate in First Aid does not mean you are more qualified that someone who is trained as a paramedic."

I've seen a fair few in 26 years, never all at the same con! An impressive level of fail.
I wonder if other types of 'con-ish' gatherings (big political party meetings, the cat/budgie/dog/horse fancier shows and the like) have the same sort of issues - it is specifically a fan thing or a just a large group of mixed people thing?

FF

[BruTak]

I've seen a fair few in 26 years, never all at the same con! An impressive level of fail.
I wonder if other types of 'con-ish' gatherings (big political party meetings, the cat/budgie/dog/horse fancier shows and the like) have the same sort of issues - it is specifically a fan thing or a just a large group of mixed people thing?

FF

The latter I think.

[Jersey13]

... With that in mind, I do think that perhaps I should apologise for letting a personal opinion come across too strong.....which I will do now.....

Hehe, no need to apologize. We're all friends here, and it's always those few bad apples in every fanatic crowd that have spoiled the not-so-fanatic crowd's preconceptions about conventions and give us all a bad rep. In fact, I'd say that some of the crazy stories mentioned in this thread have probably even given people with Asperger's a bad rep.

[slamaina]

Well since we are sharing stories of ignorant behavior…

The first year I went to the Creation Con in Vancouver. It was the first Con I had been to that I went alone and it was a last minute decision so I didn't have time to find online friends. I am a shy person so I knew if I didn't want to be alone the whole week I would have to put on my extroverted face. The first day I went on the location tour I hooked up with a group of people. I shared my snacks and drinks, shared my rechargeable batteries and SD cards with people with cameras issues, and even loaned out my back up camera.

The next day, I met the group before the con. Someone asked everyone who their favorite character was. Everyone except me said Daniel Jackson which was not surprising since Michael Shanks was the headline at this con. They then pressed me as to why I was there if I did looooove Daniel. I told them I was there to see the sets and see the special effects, cgi, and stunt people. (My dream job would be to design ships and futuristic technology for a SciFi show. I went to school for Mechanical Engineering. Plus I am a martial arts instructor who has an instructor that has worked as a stunt man and stunt coordinator.)

The were like, no, no, no, pick a character. So I said, "I love SG-1 as a total package but if pressed I would pick Sam." The group was shocked and asked if I was a lesbian. I just laughed and said, "I am married, to a man, and have three children." I told them you asked my favorite character not who I want to sleep with. I was a female Naval engineer, I can identify with the Sam character. I could have easily said Teal'c since he is an outsider that can kick butt and I am a female (an outsider in the martial arts world) who can kick butt.

They ditched me but the rest of the con. Ok, fine, but every time the bumped into me they pointed and made comments. Plus they left me notes at my hotel room that were derogatory plus unsigned. Oh yes, that was fun. Luckily, I did meet another group of people that liked me despite my aberrant preferences.

[Jersey13]

... They ditched me but the rest of the con. Ok, fine, but every time the bumped into me they pointed and made comments. Plus they left me notes at my hotel room that were derogatory plus unsigned. Oh yes, that was fun. Luckily, I did meet another group of people that liked me despite my aberrant preferences.

Wow, what a bunch of clique-y, inane, rude... I can think of quite a few more words not appropriate for polite company. The nerve of those girls! If that'd been me, I'd have been ticked off too, not to mention tempted to tell them just how shallow they really are. I'm not exactly a social butterfly, but it's those kinds of people that made my high school years a living hell. Hopefully those girls will eventually get their own. What comes around goes around, after all.

And hey, if you come to Shore Leave, I'll hang out with ya.