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John Sheppard/Teyla Emmagan Appreciation/Ship/Discussion Thread
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Originally posted by Nick 0208 Ldn View PostSo sorry this is late Camy, don't kill me, was catching a bite to eat. Hmm, maybe i shoudl call in the SAS, just in case.
Anyway, this is my response to Camy's letter challenge. Make of it what you will, to borrow from a phrase in British politics, i commend this to the thread.
Spoiler:
Spoilers - Season 3, Sunday.
Return to Sender
It was not only the events of the last week that found Colonel Sheppard sitting behind his desk pen in hand, regret dominating his mind. Though returning to Earth with Carson’s body, witnessing the sorrow in the eyes of his family and friends, and not being able to tell them the half of it, it would seem enough, but no, it was not indeed all. Not for John, not today.
Deeply religious John Sheppard wasn’t, though he had a ritual to observe this day.
January 30tth, 2007Dearest Ma,
I have nowhere else to turn, no one, I can turn to, well though that does not change with these words, it is how my life has it.
So much has happened, too much pain and regret, more than I can bear it seems some days, but i must, bear it. If not, all should surely be lost; hope, home, mine and that of people I care more for than they could ever know, and why I do. Dad would have had no time for such thoughts I know; my face keeps to his stoic code, the outside world oblivious.
^^^
No that’s not true, Teyla is all too aware I think, more than I would like sometimes.
Men and women have died, they shouldn’t have, not just soldiers, friends and close ones. Their only concern, the well being of those around them, forever selfless in what they did. Like Carson. Right to his stubborn, dignified, glorious end, I doubt self-preservation was ever on his mind. Waste, WHY?
I could die tomorrow, at the hand of an enemy whose regard for life could make Taliban captivity seem nearly pleasant, can you imagine that. And yet it is none of these things which now haunt my thoughts day after day, when I wake, when I sleep, never has my soul felt so cursed. But I am powerless to prevent it, it can be so very awful, and you would think I’d gladly rid myself of it, however I don’t think I can. I don’t think I want to.
Why, why why, is it so difficult?
You never reproached me, never openly judged me after “we” separated. Now that’s a joke isn’t it, separated? Were Julia and I ever truly together?
Oh I know, you warned me, about it all, about her. You said take it slowly; there was no rush, was I sure? You knew the mistake it could be, what it might lead to, but I was so certain I thought, so stubborn, so wrong.
I say all that, and I wouldn’t’ change any of it. Not if that meant my life taking me away from where I stand today. It can seem a place without hope, the tremendous responsibility and what we face. I sit down and think about it all sometimes, like what I wanted to say to you and now never can and I know, that I surely would have succumbed beaten to the cold harsh existence, alone, if not for her life to warm it.
I would be lost without her, more desolate than I can possibly imagine. I have come as close to the absolute horror of it possible, while hope and life yet remains, it was all I could do to maintain even the remotest semblance of self control.
But how do I tell her? How can I be certain after Julia, well no that is wrong, unfair on Teyla to compare her with….with her. Still I am terrified, fearful that she doesn’t feel something for me, more than just something.
The time I spent at dead-end posts at the edge of the world, oh how I lamented my fate, and to think it brought me here, to somewhere I can call home, people I would call family. I would never have dreamed it, not in a lifetime.
From the faith and kindness and compassion she showed when she so easily could have hated me, others would have. Her vision and her judgment; how her friendship alone has enriched my life beyond where I thought possible before.
To take such a risk I have spurned as madness all these years, but to continue on and to walk such a cursed path each day, the images of her near death that constantly haunt him, the thought that I might be powerless to keep her safe, the turmoil I feel within, the questions I should always ask myself otherwise, if only?
What should I do? Is my happiness that important? And what of her, what does Teyla think? Could I forgive myself if a gamble, for love, took this away and was lost to me forever?
Always your loving son,
John
Sitting back in the chair, all of a sudden so very tired, John threw the pen across the room, clattering off a far wall. He ran his hands through his hair, exasperated, wondering if he achieved anything at all. He also wondered if he was crazy, writing a letter, revealing his worries and fears like this, why only on this, the anniversary of his mother’s death, which he tried to forget every other day of the year, did he act so?
Oh Heightmeyer would have a field day, if only she knew, which she never shall.
All of a sudden his self-critique was interrupted by the chime of his door and a concerned voice.
“John, are you there?” Teyla asked tentatively.
John screwed the letter into a ball and threw it in a trash can by his feet with a temper, letting out a short sharp laugh at his own expense.
Fool, you’ll have to act sooner or later; speak to her about some of this at least, but not yet, not yet.
Thinking who was at the door and why, some of his worries and problems were silent once more, but some remained, though they he would battle without question for the happiness he might one day reach.
“Er yeah Teyla, hold on one second, be right there.”
fin
A/N: I came by the date based on when Sunday aired on Canadian TV, Jan 16th, that being the “Sunday” if you know what I mean.
I'll put this up on FF.net in a little while, as advised. lol
I want to thank both Camy and Steph for reading this ahead of time and helping me out. You're too kind, as is your feedback. Thanks
It wasn't mammoth or anything, but it was something, and in its way an improvment on my part i think.
This was wonderful Nick. You do yourself an injustice...this was very insightful almost poetic in it rendering. The best part is being a man the POV becomes much more powerful. Excellent job and I hope you do more .
Cynsigpic
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firefly - I think you have heard it by now *lol* but I don't know where you end up seeing them so I'm covering my bases...
I love them and I know a special someone on here that will be so happy to see these when she gets back....
Thanks for sharing...
And thanks Roo for directing firefly on here to post them...you go girl..
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Originally posted by Camy View PostLOL...thanks Nick! Okay...I"m experimenting...so bare with me, this might take a couple of attempts to post so, I'll probably delete it several times....
If you read The Price for A Jar of Pickles you might enjoy this more, but you don't have to to understand it....Spoilers for the Return Part 1...again, I am seeing how this looks cause my stupid new computer program is really giving me a hard time....ACTUALLY DON"T EVEN SEE IT UNTIL I SAY IT's OkAY! It's quite long and it might freeze your computer! So, let me try it first and then I will tell you guys when to see it! Okay! Nice! *thumbs up*
The Letter.....by Camy......
Spoiler:
Steph
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Love the video LC! Also, nice song Nick...really liked it!
Nick and Camy, really enjoyed the letters, thanks for posting them!
firefly, thanks for sharing the icons! Really like them! I'm pretty sure anything J/T related is welcome here!
And I really, really loved the artwork that came out on Wednesday, I wish I had talent when it comes to the arts.sigpic
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Originally posted by expendable_crewman View PostHi Steph. I did my computer switch thing (fun times! lol), saw the video, and loved it. Wish I knew how you did it, girl. Thanks for sharing.
Steph
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Originally posted by NinaM View PostSteph....I loved the video... great song...never heard it before but it truly went well with J/T... touching scenes with something unspoken between them but oh so clearly is there to see... loved that you put in some of their lines too so the moments between them touched one even more...
Loved it...thanks for sharing..and keep up the awesome work with your videos...
Lady, thank you also so much!!!!! I really appreciate it!!!
Firefly, WOW. Those are breath-takingly beautiful. WOW. Thank you so much for sharing them here!!!!
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Originally posted by Nick 0208 Ldn View PostSo sorry this is late Camy, don't kill me, was catching a bite to eat. Hmm, maybe i shoudl call in the SAS, just in case.
Anyway, this is my response to Camy's letter challenge. Make of it what you will, to borrow from a phrase in British politics, i commend this to the thread.
Spoiler:
Spoilers - Season 3, Sunday.
Return to Sender
It was not only the events of the last week that found Colonel Sheppard sitting behind his desk pen in hand, regret dominating his mind. Though returning to Earth with Carson’s body, witnessing the sorrow in the eyes of his family and friends, and not being able to tell them the half of it, it would seem enough, but no, it was not indeed all. Not for John, not today.
Deeply religious John Sheppard wasn’t, though he had a ritual to observe this day.
January 30tth, 2007Dearest Ma,
I have nowhere else to turn, no one, I can turn to, well though that does not change with these words, it is how my life has it.
So much has happened, too much pain and regret, more than I can bear it seems some days, but i must, bear it. If not, all should surely be lost; hope, home, mine and that of people I care more for than they could ever know, and why I do. Dad would have had no time for such thoughts I know; my face keeps to his stoic code, the outside world oblivious.
^^^
No that’s not true, Teyla is all too aware I think, more than I would like sometimes.
Men and women have died, they shouldn’t have, not just soldiers, friends and close ones. Their only concern, the well being of those around them, forever selfless in what they did. Like Carson. Right to his stubborn, dignified, glorious end, I doubt self-preservation was ever on his mind. Waste, WHY?
I could die tomorrow, at the hand of an enemy whose regard for life could make Taliban captivity seem nearly pleasant, can you imagine that. And yet it is none of these things which now haunt my thoughts day after day, when I wake, when I sleep, never has my soul felt so cursed. But I am powerless to prevent it, it can be so very awful, and you would think I’d gladly rid myself of it, however I don’t think I can. I don’t think I want to.
Why, why why, is it so difficult?
You never reproached me, never openly judged me after “we” separated. Now that’s a joke isn’t it, separated? Were Julia and I ever truly together?
Oh I know, you warned me, about it all, about her. You said take it slowly; there was no rush, was I sure? You knew the mistake it could be, what it might lead to, but I was so certain I thought, so stubborn, so wrong.
I say all that, and I wouldn’t’ change any of it. Not if that meant my life taking me away from where I stand today. It can seem a place without hope, the tremendous responsibility and what we face. I sit down and think about it all sometimes, like what I wanted to say to you and now never can and I know, that I surely would have succumbed beaten to the cold harsh existence, alone, if not for her life to warm it.
I would be lost without her, more desolate than I can possibly imagine. I have come as close to the absolute horror of it possible, while hope and life yet remains, it was all I could do to maintain even the remotest semblance of self control.
But how do I tell her? How can I be certain after Julia, well no that is wrong, unfair on Teyla to compare her with….with her. Still I am terrified, fearful that she doesn’t feel something for me, more than just something.
The time I spent at dead-end posts at the edge of the world, oh how I lamented my fate, and to think it brought me here, to somewhere I can call home, people I would call family. I would never have dreamed it, not in a lifetime.
From the faith and kindness and compassion she showed when she so easily could have hated me, others would have. Her vision and her judgment; how her friendship alone has enriched my life beyond where I thought possible before.
To take such a risk I have spurned as madness all these years, but to continue on and to walk such a cursed path each day, the images of her near death that constantly haunt him, the thought that I might be powerless to keep her safe, the turmoil I feel within, the questions I should always ask myself otherwise, if only?
What should I do? Is my happiness that important? And what of her, what does Teyla think? Could I forgive myself if a gamble, for love, took this away and was lost to me forever?
Always your loving son,
John
Sitting back in the chair, all of a sudden so very tired, John threw the pen across the room, clattering off a far wall. He ran his hands through his hair, exasperated, wondering if he achieved anything at all. He also wondered if he was crazy, writing a letter, revealing his worries and fears like this, why only on this, the anniversary of his mother’s death, which he tried to forget every other day of the year, did he act so?
Oh Heightmeyer would have a field day, if only she knew, which she never shall.
All of a sudden his self-critique was interrupted by the chime of his door and a concerned voice.
“John, are you there?” Teyla asked tentatively.
John screwed the letter into a ball and threw it in a trash can by his feet with a temper, letting out a short sharp laugh at his own expense.
Fool, you’ll have to act sooner or later; speak to her about some of this at least, but not yet, not yet.
Thinking who was at the door and why, some of his worries and problems were silent once more, but some remained, though they he would battle without question for the happiness he might one day reach.
“Er yeah Teyla, hold on one second, be right there.”
fin
A/N: I came by the date based on when Sunday aired on Canadian TV, Jan 16th, that being the “Sunday” if you know what I mean.
I'll put this up on FF.net in a little while, as advised. lol
I want to thank both Camy and Steph for reading this ahead of time and helping me out. You're too kind, as is your feedback. Thanks
It wasn't mammoth or anything, but it was something, and in its way an improvment on my part i think.
Steph
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Originally posted by NinaM View Postfirefly - I think you have heard it by now *lol* but I don't know where you end up seeing them so I'm covering my bases...
I love them and I know a special someone on here that will be so happy to see these when she gets back....
Thanks for sharing...Originally posted by Lady_of_Stargate View Postfirefly, thanks for sharing the icons! Really like them! I'm pretty sure anything J/T related is welcome here!Originally posted by LoveConquers View PostFirefly, WOW. Those are breath-takingly beautiful. WOW. Thank you so much for sharing them here!!!!
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Originally posted by bluealien View PostMy "love" wallie with a little bit of kissing thrown in
Spoiler:Originally posted by AthosianGirl View PostOkay here is my belated V-Day present!
Spoiler:
Thanks a lot.
Originally posted by Camy View PostRandom crazy post!
Spoiler:
Real nice, thanks for posting it.
Devine, must comment on that manip, true enough to the mark, had me looking twice when i saw that. Cheers
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Originally posted by DONNA BOOTH View Postokay camy ill have a try as im not that good at writing anything so im going to try and do it from ronans point of view if i can
every days the same people stare at them both i don't think they are aware of it though or even notice it but me and a few others do the way they spar the way they spend their time together the looks they give each other its obvious they have feelings for one another but they ae both very proud and stubborn people i guess alot of other people on the same base are thinking the same thing as me who is going to make the first move and which one will do it and then they might be something else to think about instead
i don't know if this is okay camy ill let you be the judge as i said im no good at writing
Others have been watching on from day one, but it appears that as you say, Ronon is the only one with an eye for it. You'd think that Rodney might suspect something by now also.
*thumbs up*
Originally posted by Camy View PostLOL...thanks Nick! Okay...I"m experimenting...so bare with me, this might take a couple of attempts to post so, I'll probably delete it several times....
If you read The Price for A Jar of Pickles you might enjoy this more, but you don't have to to understand it....Spoilers for the Return Part 1...again, I am seeing how this looks cause my stupid new computer program is really giving me a hard time....ACTUALLY DON"T EVEN SEE IT UNTIL I SAY IT's OkAY! It's quite long and it might freeze your computer! So, let me try it first and then I will tell you guys when to see it! Okay! Nice! *thumbs up*
The Letter.....by Camy......
Spoiler:
I flirted with the idea of doing something with an Athosian angle to it [any added focus will always have my support]. However, i could never have done it justice like you have here, not even close. And you go and top it off with all the visual effects too.
I quite like the idea of holding back the letters and then posting them on FF.net as a kind of collection. Shame for you though, because the visual quality you have to yours won't be recreted if we were to.
Oh and i forgot to thank you before, for finding such a good quality pic from The Return with the mystery woman in it. If one day i get that spark, and look to go back and expand on the 100 word fic thing, that'd be a great accompanyment.Last edited by Nick 0208 Ldn; 16 February 2007, 07:42 PM.
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Originally posted by Camy View PostNICK!
*Camy runs up and down and twirls and fumbles*
Ouch!
*Does the chicken dance and the MACARENA!*
Before you post this...how about if we get more letters and post them in ff.net as one....or yeah, maybe we can have many letter....OH, I"M FEELING THE LOVE COMING!
Okay..so we need more letter...maybe I can get Stephie to look over mine as well....or Cyn..*wink*
Donna....do you want someone to edit yours as well....we can post it in ff.net...woohhooo! you guys are so talented.....
okay...sorry! I"m just loving all the wonderful things that are coming out of this thread and the Galleria...I mean, I feel like Momma is being loved! *sniff* This is an emotional moment for me....
AH!
Okay...let me know what you think...I"ll give everyone a chance to write their letters and we can either post them as one posting in Ff.net with each of our own names as a different chapter or we can post it individually....now the idea is to get different letters from different people, so John and Teyla have been taken! and Donna did Ronon! but if anyone ones to make a longer one that is fine too....do you guys like that idea?
We could just post it individually, yeah...let's post it individually....maybe I should make mine longer! yeah....I'll do that!
Okay, I"m off to read Nicks' letter again...
You are FABULOUS! This is wonderful! Really it is!
*just ate my valentines' box of chocolates, this could be its side effect...let me rephrase that, just ate SOME of my valentine's chocolates*
Also....never mind...you can write whatever letter you want...yes, even if it's from John and Teyla...but I think if we can get a variety, that would make it even more fun!
Oh Camy i'm just glad you liked it, and were able to read it before you left.
And again, as to you idea about posting all the letters as different chapters, it's a goer with me. Although of course i'll go with the majority view whatever.
You and the family, have fun, enjoy the break.
Originally posted by jtjaforever View PostThis was wonderful Nick. You do yourself an injustice...this was very insightful almost poetic in it rendering. The best part is being a man the POV becomes much more powerful. Excellent job and I hope you do more .
Cyn
When i end up doing another will be completely random, i mean if i sit down and force the issue too much, it's just not happening, for me or the story. I hope it'll be soon.
I did think about Doxy's latest challenge, obvious potential, although i've come up empty so far.
And it's interesting you mention almost poetic, because before any story or fic, i wanted to do some kind of poem about John and Teyla. Not many of them about as far as i know, it'd be fitting. It started with promisem, but hit a right dead-end. There we go.
Originally posted by LoveConquers View PostJust wanted to say again how much I loved this! I loved the idea of John writing to his mother on the anniversary of her death. Just beautiful. So full of angst and longing. Great job!!!!
Steph
And yeah, sometimes i come across what i think is a bit of a different take on things, don't always seem them through but this time i did, and i'm just happy it worked out and people got something from it.
Nina, blue & Lady. i must take up a foreiign language so i can spice up my thank you's and gratitude. lol But i am, thanks for your comments.Last edited by Nick 0208 Ldn; 16 February 2007, 07:43 PM.
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