Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

[JJSNgadget]

OWEN: "Yeah, I'm not cleaning that up."
-----------------
JACK: "Captain Jack Harkness, and you are?"
JACK: "Captain Jack Sparrow. You haven't seen a ship with black sails go by, have you?"
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OWEN: "Tosh, how would you like to be the Weevil Queen?"

[Kady]

introducing Captain Jack and The Doctor to popping candy!
*crackling can be heard*
Jack: Oh, ooh, oohh, um....ohhhh, oh, wow..*crack* OW! That one hurt my throat!!
The Doctor: Ooh, oh, ooh, Oooh, ahem, um...ohhhh, oh, strange...*crack*...ow, thad pop'd my'd tou'n'ge....*whines*

[wise one]

villian: YES Doctor I am your arch ememy but i also played traffic warden on BBC 3 and holby city as wounded maaan!!!


inside the tardis:

Hi....Im Tim Weestwood and this is PIMP MY TARDISSSSS!!!

[JJSNgadget]

introducing Captain Jack and The Doctor to popping candy!
*crackling can be heard*
Jack: Oh, ooh, oohh, um....ohhhh, oh, wow..*crack* OW! That one hurt my throat!!
The Doctor: Ooh, oh, ooh, Oooh, ahem, um...ohhhh, oh, strange...*crack*...ow, thad pop'd my'd tou'n'ge....*whines*

OMG you reminded me of a conversation I had with my friend Llama and her fiance at school. We were eating pop rocks, and one of us started talking bout secks. Llama and him are very funny about their homelife. So:

spoiled for naughty

Spoiler:

JACK: *holds up pack of Pop Rocks* "Have you ever had 0r@l with these?"
DOCTOR: *squeaky* "No. Doesn't that hurt?"
JACK: "Not if it's done right."

-----------------

*Hunting for Myfanwy, who got loose.*
IANTO: "Ca-caw! Ca-caw! Tookie Tookie!"
JACK: "Yan, I think we've established that "Ca-caw, ca-caw" and "Tookie Tookie" don't work."
IANTO: "I'm all out of dark chocolate."
*a few seconds later*
IANTO: "You are so beautiful, to me..."
OWEN: "Step back, Jack, I'm gonna shoot him."
JACK: "Uh-uh, stand down! I'm taking this one out myself."
IANTO: "Can't you see..."
JACK: "Ianto, would you please stop, because you are embarrasing me."
----------------

*How Torchwood pwns UNIT*
JACK: "We're not gonna bend over and take this Brigadier!"
*Jack and Ianto enter the SUV. Jack rolls down his window and moons the Brigadier*
JACK: "Fruit basket for Brigadier Bambera!"
IANTO: "Happy Holidays, Brigadier!"
*they drive away*

[Allestian]

*Looks at the previous posts*

O_O Oh no...not innuendoes of popping candy extremes...

Jack: "You know, there's so many things...exciting, interesting, unique things, that you can do with popping candy."
(Owen loads his gun)
Owen: "For each one you list I fire a bullet into your brain."
Jack: "Well..."
BANG!!!
Owen: "And that's the warning shot."
*********************************************************
Jack: "I am so bored!!! I really need something to do!!!"
(Everyone clears off leaving Owen on his own. Owen loads his gun - again)
Owen: *Mutters under his breath* "Oh, this is getting old..."
Jack: "Owen!!! Want to do something fun!?"
Owen: "Jack!!! Your category of fun and my category of fun may be similar but it's not happening."
Jack: "Come on Owen..."
(Owen turns around and points the gun at Jack)
Owen: "Go climb a rooftop...I'm running out of bullets."

[Kady]

Jack: *sings* Im-mooor-taaaaa-lity, i make the journey throught enternity, i keep the memo-
*BANG*
Owen: Much better!
Gwen: Thank you, Owen!
Tosh: Ahhh! Peace and quiet!
Ianto: *humming "immortality "*
*CLICK* *CLICK* *CLICK*
Owen: Just try it...!!


A little tribute to the fact that John Barrowman is a fan of Celine Dion!

[Allestian]

Oh, just to see these scenes in the show...

Gwen: "Immortality..."
CLICK!!! CLICK!!!
Owen: "Gwen!!! Not you too!!!"
Gwen: "Sorry...it's catchy..."
Tosh: "Who do I aim at!? Who do I aim at!?!?!?"

[JJSNgadget]

The Ballad of Tosh and Owen:

"Love of mine some day you will die, but I'll be close behind, I'll follow you into the dark

"No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white, just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark, if heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

"If there's no one beside you, when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark ... ... ...

"The time for sleep is now, it's nothing to cry about, cause we'll hold each other soon, the blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide, that they both are satisfied, illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you, when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark, then I'll follow you into the dark"

*sniff* Okay, who else cried when they saw those scenes in that episode?

[Allestian]

*Lifts hand*

[Reefgirl]

The Ballad of Tosh and Owen:

"Love of mine some day you will die, but I'll be close behind, I'll follow you into the dark

"No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white, just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark, if heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

"If there's no one beside you, when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark ... ... ...

"The time for sleep is now, it's nothing to cry about, cause we'll hold each other soon, the blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide, that they both are satisfied, illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you, when your soul embarks, then I'll follow you into the dark, then I'll follow you into the dark"

*sniff* Okay, who else cried when they saw those scenes in that episode?

That's wonderful. I usually have tears running down my face at sad scenes on TV, those caused full on blubbing

[wise one]

jack harkness: captain jack harkness

jack sparrows: captains jack sparrows, please to meet you

(harkness smiles as they both shake hands)

jack sparrows: rum?

harkness: dont mind if i do

sparrows: hang on whats that on your back?

harkness: its a hand in a jar, whats that??

sparrows: well captain..(staggers round to pick it up) i got a jar of dirt

after jack and jack are drunk

sparrows: i got a jar of dirt, i got a jar of dirt...

then he falls over...

[JJSNgadget]

Jack Harkness: I've got a gooey hand, I've got a gooey hand...

[Allestian]

Jack Harkness: I've got a gooey hand, I've got a gooey hand...

Jack Sparrow: "What you do in your spare time, mate, is none of my business..."

[sillyscipia]

Jack Sparrow: "What you do in your spare time, mate, is none of my business..."

*Jack Harkness is eating peanuts*
*Jack Sparrow shoots him in the back of the head*
Jack Sparrow: My peanuts.
*Jack Harkness gets up*
Jack Harkness: My peanuts.
Jack Sparrow: Didn't I just shoot you, mate?

[Allestian]

*Jack Harkness is eating peanuts*
*Jack Sparrow shoots him in the back of the head*
Jack Sparrow: My peanuts.
*Jack Harkness gets up*
Jack Harkness: My peanuts.
Jack Sparrow: Didn't I just shoot you, mate?

Jack Harkness: "Depends...what did you shoot me with???"