Favorite Farscape Quotes

[Thunderstorm]

If you mention Look at the Princess, I have to include my favorites (possibly of the whole show)

Crichton, "Come on, shoot me! Right here, right here! Go! Oh oh...nonono! Not the brain, he wants the brain. The heart! Here! Shoot me in the heart...uh, kinda your left...right...oh yea. My right, your left! My left, your right! Here...John Wayne Bobbit! Vienna Boys Choir! AHH!"
Bracca, "You're insane!"
Crichton, "My sex life! Kill my sex life! Now! Quick! Shoot! JUST SHOOT ME!"


CRICHTON: Ah! Get back! Get back, or the white boy gets it!

CRICHTON: ( voiced altered for the full effect ) Oh, man! Don't let 'em kill me! Don't let-- ( in 'normal' voice) You people are so dumb!


I LOVE that scene!!! Although if you don't recognized the Blazing Saddles references I'm not sure how funny people would see that.

[the Fifth Race]

/\/\/\LOLOL/\/\/\ Good ones Thunderstorm

Here's a few more pearls of wisdom from Crichton. I wasn't sure exactly which episodes these are from so I left it blank.

Crichton: "I usually try to save a life a day. Usually, it's my own."

Crichton: "Damn it, Harvey. No smoking in my head."

Crichton: "Kryptonite, a silver bullet, Buffy... What does it take to kill you?"

Crichton: "Great. We've gone from 'Die Hard' to 'Honey, I Shrunk the Hostages'!"

[./freelancer]

I'm pretty sure that last one is from I Shrink Therefor I Am

[McClance]

From "The Ugly Truth":

"Sooner or later, one of us is going to have to find a bathroom."
(D'Argo laughs out loud) "I really wish I had said that."
--Crichton and D'Argo

[joshing123]

From "The Ugly Truth":

"Sooner or later, one of us is going to have to find a bathroom."
(D'Argo laughs out loud) "I really wish I had said that."
--Crichton and D'Argo

Is that right? I always thought he said "I wish you hadn't said that." Like by mentioning it, D'Argo suddenly realized he had to go.

[McClance]

I guess I'll have to watch it with the captions on next time.

[rosey_angel]

Relativity

Rygel: Of course it's a foe. We have no friends.

Rygel: I may be small but allow me to remind you that only serves to put me at castration level

yay for rygel!

[the Fifth Race]

Various Quotes from Various Episodes, Enjoy.

Crichton: 'Boy, was Spielberg ever wrong. Close Encounters my ass.' - Premiere

Crichton: 'On my planet we don't marry people we don't love unless they're critically ill billionaires.' - Look at the Princess - A Kiss is Just a Kiss

Crichton: 'Something's not right. Aeryn doesn't even shower without a pulse pistol.' - A Clockwork Nebari

Jool: 'There I woke him up, now I hope he drops dead.' - Thanks for Sharing

D'Argo: "One Mippippippi... Two Mippippippi...' - Through the Looking Glass

Rygel: 'You honestly believe I could find you appealing? I mean, you're so, so, blue!' - DNA Mad Scientist

[McClance]

From "A Clockwork Nebari":

"Aeryn can yell at me all she likes."
"You better hope Aeryn only yells."
--Chiana and John

"You're mind really isn't cleansed?"
"No. My thoughts are as dirty as ever."
--Chiana and John

"Oh, Rygel! Where are you my little husky? I've got a stick for you!"
--John

[Starbase]

season II episode Taking the Stone

Rygel: (admiring his quarters, filled with loot stolen from royal graves) Now, this is what a Dominar's chambers should look like, hung with the blood-stained trophies from my conquests!.

D'Argo: You robbed the dead!
Rygel: And believe me, that wasn't as easy as it sounds.

Crichton: Lately, do I seem a little crazy to you?
Aeryn: What do you mean lately?
Crichton: Well, I ate one of Molnon's mushrooms-one out of four gets you dead.
Aeryn: Was that supposed to get Chiana out of here more quickly, John? You eating the mushroom?

Crichton: (after punching out Molnon) Why does it always end in tears?

Crichton: Did you scan the tissue samples up to Zhaan?
Aeryn: Yes I did.
Crichton: Thank you. Let's get her on the dog and bone.
Aeryn: Whatever that means, Crichton.

[rosey_angel]

Scratch n Sniff

D'Argo: Girls. Breasts. Blue breasts, green breasts, I don't know. All I know is...they spiked our drinks and took our money.

Raxil: (to Crichton) You're not very smart, are ya? (looks at D'Argo) Now he, he's got a brain. But you – you're a bit of an idiot. (makes a face at Crichton)
Crichton: Yeah. (shoves Raxil down onto a beach chair) But I'm bigger!

Crichton: D'Argo, we're in a window – there are people watching.
D'Argo: Uh-huh. I think they've been there for about seven arns, so why don't you just get dressed and give them a good show sweetheart.
Crichton: I am dressed.
(looks down to see he's wearing stockings) Aaaaaaaaahhhh!

[Thunderstorm]

season II episode Taking the Stone

Crichton: Lately, do I seem a little crazy to you?
Aeryn: What do you mean lately?
[/COLOR]

That sums up Crichton most of the time.

"Can I get a hell yea!!!"

[the Fifth Race]

These are all from the great season II ending episode Die Me, Dichotomy

Crichton: Um, Aeryn, did I say or do anything to piss you off? Uh, I mean, other than caving in the side of your head?

Stark: (as John lies on the examination table) They're just gonna have a look. An examination.
Crichton: Make sure he puts the KY on the glove.

Chiana: Pilot, you're high. Okay?
Pilot: I am n-n-no higher than I-I-I've ever been. My pois-pos-position is fixed.

Scorpius: I condemn you John Crichton to live, so that your thirst for unfulfilled revenge will consume you!

Crichton: I would be lost without you.
Aeryn: Then you'll never be lost.
Crichton: No matter what happens, you have worked your way into my heart.
Aeryn: You've shown me that I have one.
Crichton: I love you...
Aeryn: I love you too.
Scorpius-Crichton: (Smashes Aeryn's head against the wall) You are so my girl.

[Thunderstorm]

These are all from the great season II ending episode Die Me, Dichotomy

Crichton: I would be lost without you.
Aeryn: Then you'll never be lost.
Crichton: No matter what happens, you have worked your way into my heart.
Aeryn: You've shown me that I have one.
Crichton: I love you...
Aeryn: I love you too.
Scorpius-Crichton: (Smashes Aeryn's head against the wall) You are so my girl.

Great quote but I also like the line right before it.

Aeryn: I am ... reminded, at this point, of a word that you actually brought to this vessel ............. Hope.

A few more good quotes from this ep.

CRICHTON: You're gonna take my memories, and I'm gonna talk gibberish?! Why-why not just take my mojo while you're at it!?

STARK: How to you feel?
CRICHTON: Like a popsicle. Gotta love this sphincter end of the universe.


And some of the most angsty lines ever

CRICHTON: Baby, you're not going to die like this. You are not going to die like this.
AERYN: I hope you meant what you said in the Neural Cluster... I did.



CRICHTON: Oh... God. ... What have I done?

[the Fifth Race]

Great quote but I also like the line right before it.
Aeryn: I am ... reminded, at this point, of a word that you actually brought to this vessel ............. Hope.

Great quote!, and good catch.

Here are couple random Crichton and Zhaan quotes.

Crichton: 'Nebari mental cleansing doesn't get the tough stains out.' -- Durka Returns

Crichton: 'Well, this space man is going home. Lock up the women and hide the fried chicken!' -- Revenging Angel

Zhaan: 'Now I know I shall meet my goddess and be accepted to her bosom. Sensitive D'Argo, exuberant Chiana, wise Rygel, selfless Aeryn, innocent Crichton. My children, my teachers, my loves, there is no guilt, there is no blame, only what is meant to be. Grow through your mistakes and know that if patient redemption will find you.'
Self Inflicted Wounds -- Wait for the Wheel

(an oldy but a goody)
Zhaan: 'Am I the only species in creation that doesn't thrive on conflict?' -- Throne for a Loss