Favorite Farscape Quotes

[McClance]

From "Mind the Baby":

(D'Argo and John are playing "Rock, Paper, Scissors")
"Again I win."
"No, D'Argo. Paper wraps rock."
"Paper cannot possibly beat rock."
"Yes, paper beats rock."
"Rock rips through paper."
"That's not how it works. Paper beats rock."
"That's unrealistic."
"It's not supposed to be realistic. It's supposed to be entertaining."
"My coma was more entertaining."

"Moya has accelerated."
"I know that. I felt it in all three stomachs."
--Pilot and Rygel

"You wanna have a mid-life crisis? Fine. Ditch the firm, head off to Maui, shack up with the supermodel, but you do not get to keep the Porche!"
--John to Crais

"How do I know it's really you?"
"You wanna check my birthmarks?"
--Chiana and John

[the Fifth Race]

From the season III episode ...Different Destinations (great episode!)

Jool: "Baztards! They shot me, they punched me, they made me drink piss!"

Aeryn: You know if we did change things it is possible that we could improve the future.
Crichton: With our track record you think that's going to happen?
Aeryn: I guess not.

Stark: When you killed the general, what did you feel?
Nurse Kelsa: I felt hatred... and fear.
Stark: Fear is good. Keep that. But travel light. Forget hate.

[rosey_angel]

Liars, Guns and Money 1, A Not So Simple Plan

Rygel: Ten percent of this plan is lunacy, fifty percent of these riches is not enough, one hundred percent of dead is dead.

totally love rygel, how at a time like that he still cares about himself

[McClance]

From "Crackers Don't Matter":

"I never run away! I strategically maneuver."
-- Rygel

"The reason he's the only one unaffected by the light is because he's deficient."
"Who're you calling 'deficient'?"
"You. You've to the worst eyes out of all of us."
"I got GREAT eyes! They're better than 20/20, and they're BLUE!"
--Chiana and John

"If it's blue eyes that's going to save us, we need to come up with a VERY good plan."
--Aeryn

(after they've put all the stuff on John)
"I look ridiculous, don't I?"
"Well, this is T'raltixx's disappearing device. So, it doesn't matter how ridiculous you look."
--John and Rygel

[McClance]

From "The Way We Weren't":

"Do you remember when you first came aboard? Velorek stroked your cheek like this..." (Aeryn strokes Pilot's cheek) "Back then, I couldn't fathom why he'd do a thing like that. And, now I couldn't fathom not doing it. We've come a long way since then, Pilot, and we've still got a long way to go. Take the journey with me."
--Aeryn

[SunKrux]

From "The Way We Weren't":

"Do you remember when you first came aboard? Velorek stroked your cheek like this..." (Aeryn strokes Pilot's cheek) "Back then, I couldn't fathom why he'd do a thing like that. And, now I couldn't fathom not doing it. We've come a long way since then, Pilot, and we've still got a long way to go. Take the journey with me."
--Aeryn

From my all time fav eps. *gets all teary eyed again...*

[the Fifth Race]

From the great season III episode Revenging Angel

Scorpius Harvey: Do you know what's happening?
Crichton: Yeah. I'm dying.
Scorpius Harvey: Let's see whats left in the old fuel tank.
Crichton: Go away and let me do what I gotta do.
Scorpius Harvey: What, find a reason to live?
Crichton: I've got plenty of reasons.
Scorpius Harvey: Then give me the Letterman list.
Crichton: (quickly) Earth, dad, pizza, sex, cold beer, fast cars, sex, Aeryn, love.

Crichton: I don't want to be like other people. I don't want to be like you. I don't want to stoop that low. Kirk wouldn't stoop that low.
Scorpius Harvey: That was a television show, John. And he made Price-line commercials. But if you insist, then look to Kirk the way he really was, savage when he had to be.
Crichton: He's fiction, Harv. I know the difference. I'm real. I have to live with what I do.
Scorpius Harvey: You can no more deny your biologic heritage than change your grandparents' birthplace. These primitive animal urges you think you must resist they're not relics from an uncivilized time. They are in you for a reason because you need them.

Chiana: What is your problem?
Jool: I did it.
Chiana: You usually do.

Crichton: You're very wise.
Pilot: I don't get out much, so I read.

[nx01a]

All from Farscape: The Peacekeeper Wars

Aeryn: This is what you want. This is what you want.
Crichton: No, Aeryn, it is not what I want. It's just that fate keeps blocking all the exits. And no matter what I do I just keep circling closer to the flame.

Chiana: "Is he propositioning me?"
Stark: "No. That's a very special gland."
Chiana: "Small. In a weird place."
Stark: "It's an antenna to feelings... an inner eye. Am I right, Pikal?"
Pikal: "Yes. And, our history leads us to believe, substantially more."
Chiana: "Oh.. it gets bigger?"
Pikal: "Not that we know. However, it vibrates."
Chiana: "Hmm."
Pikal: "We used to be able to create an energy field that had a calming effect on individuals, allowing them to see reason."
Chiana: "Yah, but your... your little limp thing... you can't do the trick anymore."
Pikal: "Unfortunately not."
Chiana: "Oh."

And, I believe, one of the most horrendously existential, absurdist and just plain wrong quotes in all of Farscape:

Rygel: Get your own fantasy, drip-locks! They’re having MY baby!

[the Fifth Race]

Here are a few Chrichton and Rygel didies for you.....

Crichton: 'We can stick our heads between our legs and kiss our asses goodbye. It's a saying.' - I, E.T.

Crichton: 'You're going to take my memories and I'm going to talk gibberish? Why don't you just take my mojo while you're at it?' - Die Me, Dichotomy

Crichton: 'Crais I want you to find the fattest target you can. Government house, missile site, McDonald's, whatever.' - Thanks for Sharing

Rygel: 'You're worse than me, I like that'. - The Locket

Rygel: 'May your afterlife be almost as pleasant as mine.' - Mind the Baby

Rygel: 'John Crichton, unwelcome shipmate. May you have safe transport to the hallowed realm. Actually, not our hallowed realm. That's for Hynerians. Go find your own hallowed realm. With the Ceremony of Passage completed, I declare you officially dead, and claim all your possessions for myself.' - That Old Black Magic

[deanna]

This is my favorite John/Aeryn quote from S4 "Natural Election"

Crichton:Aeryn...I figure a relationship...the kind we're not having...is based on trust
Aeryn:I'm so sorry
Crichton:Yeah...me too...cause you don't trust me...so I don't know how to trust you...
Aeryn:I think I've earned you're trust
Crichton:I will put my life in your hands...but not my heart

And of course my all time favorite from "Out of Their Minds" (I think we all know that one )

Chiana(in D'Argo's body):Crichton!What are you doing?
Crichton(in Aeryn's body):Oh..com' on man!They're here!They're right here!They've been here for couple of arns and I just had to...
Aeryn(in Rygel's body):You are...mentally damaged!
Crichton(in Aeryn's body):No!I'm a guy!A GUY!Guys dream about this sort of thing
Aeryn(in Rygel's body):I'll tell you one thing Crichton...if I find you been dreaming anything else to my body I'll break your legs even if they are mine!

And here's what led to that http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fD7Uah_QUY

This one is from "Crichton Kicks" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSAJp...eature=related
I know we have to quote but you just have to see it when Crichton says "You want some of this'' it just crack me up every time I see it so.. enj?y

Scratch & Sniff

D'Argo:Crichton...wake up!WAKE UP!CRICHTON!!!

Spoiler:

Crichton:Uhhh...what happened?
D'Argo:What didn't happen
Crichton:Ohh God!There were girls...right!?!feather chicks...the rainbow colors..

Spoiler:

D'Argo:Girls,breasts...blue breasts,green breasts I don't know.All I know is they spiked our drinks and took our money!

Spoiler:

Crichton:They rolled us!?!
D'Argo:Yeah...they rolled us.You know those mud shots we took...they spiked them
Crichton:My pulse pistol...they took my dam pulse pistol!!
D'Argo:No one stole your pulse pistol.We're on Lomo, no weapons are allowed.The pulse pistol's on the transport pod.

Spoiler:

Crichton:D'argo...we're in a window...there are people watching...

Spoiler:

D'Argo:Ahaa..I think they've been there for about 7 arns...so why don't you get dressed and give them a good show sweetheart

Spoiler:

Crichton:I AM dressed...

Spoiler:

Spoiler:

p.s. sorry about the size and the quality of the pics

[poundpuppy29]

one of my favorite quotes was from Aeryn in PK Wars

"Shooting makes me feel better" When she was supposed to be delivering her child too funny

[rosey_angel]

Die Me, Dichotomy

Chiana: Pilot, you're high. Okay?
Pilot: I am n-n-no higher than I-I-I've ever been. My pois-pos-position is fixed.

Scorpius: I condemn you John Crichton to live, so that your thirst for unfulfilled revenge will consume you!

John: I would be lost without you.
Aeryn: Then you'll never be lost.
John: No matter what happens, you have worked your way into my heart.
Aeryn: You've shown me that I have one.
John: I love you...
Aeryn: I love you too.
Scorpius-John: (Smashes Aeryn's head against the wall) You are so my girl.

[the Fifth Race]

From various episodes I watched recently ........

Crichton: 'You see that one, that's that star right there. It's my point of reference, my guide, and it always becomes the center of my chart. I always name it Aeryn.' - Green-Eyed Monster

Crichton: 'That's your plan? Wile E. Coyote would come up with a better plan than that!' - Throne for a Loss

Rygel: 'What friends? We were thrown together against our will and we're all just trying to make the best of it until we can get the chance to screw the others to get what we want.' - Self Inflicted Wounds - Could'a, Would'a, Should'a

Zhaan: 'My dear, I've kicked more ass than you've sat on.' - Through the Looking Glass I particulary like this one.

I love that last one from Zhaan especially!.

[rosey_angel]

I love that last one from Zhaan especially!.

same! i'd love the opportunity to use that one in real life

coz it's on in an hour:

Seasons of Death

Crichton: Can I get a "HELL, YEAH!"?!
---that's my fave, i say that all the time

Crichton: Think he'll follow us?
D'Argo: I hope he does!
Crichton: Sounds like you've got a plan.
D'Argo: We're going to bring him out here and see if he likes being in the cold.
Crichton: And what if he likes it?
D'Argo: Look, one plan at a time!

edit: i can't believe i forgot this one:

Aeryn: I shouldn't be here
Crichton: This is exactly where you should be. ( pause ) I love you.
Aeryn: I love you too.

[nx01a]

one of my favorite quotes was from Aeryn in PK Wars

"Shooting makes me feel better" When she was supposed to be delivering her child too funny

I laughed out loud when I heard that the first time. That quote works on so many levels, most not PG-rated.