Favorite Farscape Quotes

[McClance]

One more from "Thank God It's Friday, Again":

(speaking of D'Argo)
JOHN: "Why the hell is he raging after me anyway?"
ZHAAN: "You are another male."
JOHN: "Well, Spanky here is male. I think. Sort of. How come he isn't raging after you?"
RYGEL: "He knows better."

[Starbase]

These are from the season I episode DNA Mad Scientist ....

Aeryn: This is not a Sebacean thing.
Crichton: Well, you gotta give me a clue here, Aeryn. Is this something new or is this just your usual P.M.S -- Peacekeeper Military Shi--
Aeryn: Frell you.

D'Argo: You understand why I did what I did?
Pilot: Your motivations were perfectly clear.
D'Argo: And you understand that if I was faced with the same choice again, I would do exactly the same.
Pilot: I have no doubt whatsoever.... I also know that Luxans are not given to apologies.

NamTar: All species are seeking perfection. That's what evolution is: the road towards perfection. How many generations of your species have lived and died to lead to you? How many will die after you? All in the name of achieving a state of perfection.

[hokusman]

I found this one instantly amusing watching it for the first time the other day, as it was the first time I ever heard Pilot swear:

PILOT: Officer Sun comes in often, checks the readouts on my panel. And Starburst is out of the question. If I attempt it, this frelling collar will kill me, instantly. We've got Nebari aboard, most everybody is mind cleansed, and there's a Peacekeeper patrol in the immediate vicinity!

And then the fact that it seemed like John wasn't used to hearing him swear either:

JOHN: Well keep cussing, man.

[USS Defiant]

Quotes from the rather fun season II episode Out of Their Minds ...

Rygel: (in Crichton's body) Well why? Why would they want us to switch bodies? Why?!
Crichton: (in Aeryn's body) I don't know. But if this is some kind of sick experiment, I'm billing them for the therapy.

Crichton: Well they say you have to walk a mile in someone's shoes to understand them.
Aeryn: Well I certainly know what you were doing when you were in my shoes, Crichton.
Crichton: Gimme a break.
Aeryn: (slight chuckle) It's okay. It's okay, you know. You were in my shoes, I was in your pants.
Crichton: 'Scuse me?

Zhaan: By the goddess! What is this madness that has overtaken all of you?
Aeryn: (in Crichton's body) We'll explain later, just shoot us Zhaan. Full power, and don't worry we'll have the screen up.
Zhaan: Are you sure about this Crichton?
Rygel: (in Aeryn's body) Shoot the damn gun you blue-assed *****!

John: (in Aeryn's body) (about the "feeling") I'm a guy. A guy. Guys dream about this sort of thing.
Aeryn: (in Rygel's body) I'll tell you one thing Crichton, if I find you've been dreaming anything else to my body I'll break your legs, even if they are mine.

Chiana: (in D'Argo's body) (to Tak) Face the wall and spread your feathers, big guy.

[rosey_angel]

Green Eyed Monster

AERYN: Talyn, you've seen them both naked, perhaps you can tell us who's bigger.


just thinking of this one today. quite humerous, i think

[./freelancer]

(Through The Looking Glass)
D'Argo: I have no timekeeping device.
Crichton: One mississippi, one. One mississippi, two. One mississippi, three. 300. Forward.
D'Argo: One mippippippi, two mippippippi, three mippippippi, four mippippippi...

(A Bug's Life)
Zhaan: Here, lick this.
Chiana: What? That's your bed cover. Is everybody aboard this ship kinkoid?

[McClance]

From "PK Tech Girl":

"The ship is legendary. Even in my culture. It was thought invincible."
"Well, just ask Leonardo DiCaprio. Even the big ones go down."
--D'Argo and John, about the Zalbinnion

"I half-expected you to be off looting, Rygel."
"Looting! I am a dominar of over 600 billion subjects. I shouldn't stoop so low."
"As I recall, you 'stooped' during the last three derelicts we came across. Or was it four?"
--Zhaan and Rygel

(Crichton is telling Gilina about a movie)
GILINA: "You call this entertainment?"
JOHN: "Yeah, well... It replaced cockfighting."

[rosey_angel]

Family Ties

Crichton: hey you *******s, John Crichton was here

[MFA]

Here's a couple that always send chills up my spine ...


Scory: "Hello John"

Harvey: " ... rest assured, I will be with you always, keeping you safe ... "

[MFA]

Since I finally finished Season 3, here's a Crais quote ...


Scorpius ... I am standing in your heart ... and I am about to squeeze.

You are the most repellant of creatures, Scorpius. You weren't born into Peacekeepers. You weren't ... conscripted against your will. You chose to be one.

...

Talyn ... Starburst

[McClance]

"Disney on acid. And, ten years of really great sex all at the same time."
--John on experiencing Unity; "Rhapsody in Blue"

[rosey_angel]

Talyn ... Starburst

that one is soooo good. it's hard to think two words can bring such emotion, but the circumstances and Lani's acting brings it all to the brink

[McClance]

"Don't get it. Too few heads."
"They come with more?"
"Yes. The more heads, the greater the value. Their brains are the tastiest part."
"Right. Like you cook this guy and eat his brains."
"Cook? Never. Raw."
--Aeryn and John, who discovers a two-headed, bird-like creature; "That Old Black Magic"

[rosey_angel]

Mind the Baby

Zhaan: The Seek has reopened my eyes to the wonder of the spirits. I am now going to devote my life to enlightenment.
Aeryn: Oh. Well, I think that's, um... really selfish, actually! You know, before you bliss off completely into oblivion you might want to have a little look around you, because Moya and Talyn are in danger!

Chiana (to rygel): It's been a thrill, your frogness.

Crichton: You wanna have a mid-life crisis? Fine, go ahead, just ditch the firm, head off to Maui, shack up with the super model, but you do not get to keep the porsche

[Zonks]

I think that my best Farscape Quotes are:

Chricton:Cross my heart, smack me dead...stick a lobster on my head.

Chricton:Burnt, battered, busted, ding-dong the pod is dead.

Chricton:All right, we don't understand the R2-D2 crap. We're gonna use the Star Trek system. One blink for yes, two blinks for no.


Crichton: You shanghai my ass down here, and now you want me to lead? Give me one good reason.
Aeryn : Lots of reasons. Land mines, fire snakes, razor grass, night vision snipers, Morlian death spiders...

Theres a lot more but i would be able to write them all down