Confessions of a Bacon Freak

[epg20]

*CLAPS*

Now I like the guy who went for the BLT! Oh and storing your spam in the ceiling tiles of the bathroom is ...uh pretty gross .....but *shrugs* most people who like spam don't have much sense anyway! But I enjoy the story epg!

yeah, that's the point, who looks for food in a place like that, apparently the ground crew, they took all of his precious spam, THE PRECIOUS, and left him with nothing but the bacon to eat , but I am getting ahead of my self, this is going to be a night mare for both of us, one that is so horrific that you , YES YOU ... SPOILERS...

[epg20]

the nearest eatery was called the cake N bacon, they serve everything with bacon, yes even the birthday cake comes with bacon, so he settles down in a booth and orders a BLT with fries and a cherry aide;

"sorry hun, we only have apple dream, do you want something else?"

"ok, just give me a BIG glass of iced tea, and make it strong."

"well just how strong do you want it, we have, stay awake for a day, stay awake for a week , and then we have never sleep again."

"give me a BIG glass of that last one."

"Uh, no, i'll just give you a regular size, any more than that, you REALLY WILL never sleep again." and she goes off.

"what ever."

after a while she comes back with his BLT and tea.

" that is one HELL of a a glass of tea, thank you VERY much, i can't wait to sink my teeth in to that sandwitch."

he picks it up and takes a BIG bite and chews like there is no tomorrow, how ever, after a few chews, he chokes gags and coughs it all up.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!"

" it's your BLT."

" sister i may not be much of a fan of bacon, but BY GOD, i know what bacon tastes like, and sister that is not bacon."

" well you don't need to be rude, if you don't like it, you can order something else."

"fine, fine, make it a hamburger, HOLD the bacon."

" sorry honey , at the cake and bacon, every thing comes with bacon, even the side order of bacon comes with bacon."

she comes back with the bacon burger, with a side of bacon, this time he is more cautious, this time he just takes a regular bite, again , he chokes on it and spits it out.

"sister, either you are the worst cook in the world, or there is something wrong with your meat."

"meat, what are you talking about, i have no idea what that is, but that is the best tofu burger any where on the palnet, and you can just get the hell out!"

[jelgate]

*CLAPS*

Now I like the guy who went for the BLT! Oh and storing your spam in the ceiling tiles of the bathroom is ...uh pretty gross .....but *shrugs* most people who like spam don't have much sense anyway! But I enjoy the story epg!

You just enable his spam delusion

[squirrely1]

*claps for epg's story* Well if it was tofu then it should've come with bacon....and it would've been saved with bacon.....there is no such thing as bad bacon.

You just enable his spam delusion

like I enable your rubber cement habit?

[jelgate]

I thought that was your obsession

[epg20]

"loook, i just want a simple hamburger, with or with out bacon, i don't care, it is a simple recipe, just ground beef bacon, or not your choice, salt and pepper and heat on the grill, see simple."

"look mister, i have no idea what this beef is, and you are starting to work my last nerve, now i am going to give you one more chance to get something to eat or get out, and so help me if you order this beef again, i am going to dump that iced tean in your lap and give you a good ammount of shrinkage, now what do you want."

*ok, something simple, something simple, ok , got it.*

"ok, how about some fried chicken, can you do that , just fry me up a few pieces of chicken and we are good."

[ SPLASH]

" GET THE HELL OUT."

" Look all i wanted was..."

" GET THE HELL OUT N O W!!!!!"

He gets up and wipes the ice off his lap and walks out. he walks away from the restaurant and looks back;

"it doesn't say any thing about it being a vegan place, it just looks like a simple greasy spoon, this is one wierd place."

he goes to several other places, he orders the same as before, and the same thing happens, over and over again.

*what the hell is going on, there can't be that many vegan places on the planet, especially on baconoida...hummm.*

He sees a truck delivering supplies to a restaurant and decides to follow it, he stows away inside the truck and waits for it to stop. after about two hours, the truck stops and the driver opens the door;

"what the hell are you doing in there, if i had ben any further from the factory you could have frozen to death, get out of there."

"i just wanted to see what was going on with the burgers and bacon i was getting, something seemed wrong, and i wanted to see the factory where it came from."

"is that all, you didn't need to stowaway , you could have just gone on the tour, there is one every hour, wait about ten miniutes and you can go on it with the others."

" others?"

"yes, they have a sign up sheet over there, just sign the sheet and you can take the tour, you are lucky, there is usually a two hour wait, but i guess today is a slow day."

"uh, thanks."

" i have another run back to the space port cafiteria for a delivery, i'll wait for you when you come out, this time you can in the front with me."

[Anja]

Let's make a movie:
Bacon, spam and burger

[Gatefan1976]

you don't get to name things

[jelgate]

Or make things. Why ruin a burger with spam?

[squirrely1]

I thought that was your obsession

Were not talking about me here!


*sits on edge of seat*. Keep going epg!

[jelgate]

We are now

[squirrely1]

No. I'm very uninteresting!

[jelgate]

That's a given. You teach Art. Anyone can do Art.


*draws a circle*

[squirrely1]

so see look it's about you!

[jelgate]

*draws a picture of Garfield on SQ*