Who's next for the airlock?

[Hiccups]

1. I airlock those Smilin' Bob commercials for Enzyte (or whatever it is).

2. I airlock headaches.

3. I airlock the neighbor's garage band that plays so loud (even though they are so bad) after I've put the kids to bed.

4. I airlock "Aunt Flo" (If you don't know what that is, don't ask. You don't want to know. Trust me.)

5. I airlock food sensitivities. (I'm hungry and we need to go to the grocery.)

6. I airlock diapers that don't hold... (well you know what they're supposed to hold.)

7. I airlock nightmares. The night before last, I dreamt my Mom wanted to kill me for the insurance. And last night I dreamt I was dating Obama. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!!

8. I airlock health insurance that won't let you have meds that you need until you jump through hoops and kill someone to prove you need it.

9. I airlock doctors' policy that won't refill prescriptions in less than 48 hours.

10. I airlock doctors' schedules that ask you to arrive 15 min early and then make you wait an additional hour or more!


P.S. That's some imagery there Pookey!

[Dr Weir]

*Airlocks Tesco.* I brought a ready meal which was disgusting! Yuck! They took the crappiest cuts of meat (probably off the abattoir floor) and the gravy tasted and smelled foul....

[Shanthaia]

*airlocks tax office* they can be a pain and make your time miserable for absolutly nothing

[Hiccups]

I airlock telemarketing calls who break the law by calling you again and again after you have already asked them to put you on their "Do not call list."

Oooo, I'm gonna airlock them again and again. How many times can I push the airlock button? Die suckers, die!!! Muhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

[Hiccups]

I airlock fraud emails. Really, how many times can the same person die of esophigal cancer??? Either that, or I'm the luckiest woman in the world. I think I won the UK lottery 12 times last month. If only I could win the Ohio lottery just once... Alas. *gleefully pushes the airlock button with a sinister sneer, not as sinister as when I pushed the button repeatedly for the telemarketing calls, but still...*

[Dr Weir]

*Airlocks virkon advanced.*

It messes up my experiments! The last 2 weeks have been wasted, with me constantly restarting my experiment and having it cut short because of it! All the other disinfectants were fine but nooooooo this one has to be different.

[pookey]

airlocks: work, hoovering, wasps and the I.E.

[sillyscipia]

*airlocks people who go to Renassance Festivals and spend all their time texting and talking on their phones*

[Hiccups]

I airlock anyone mowing their lawn before 8AM which the HOA rules clearly state is a no no. I have two under two. It's not like I slept through the night!!!

I airlock the reason my one employer gave me for letting me go. It wasn't a valid reason as it wasn't true. (But I figured since they were bent on firing me, why bother to protest. It wouldn't have done any good anyway.) I worked there for 8 years and 1 day. You would think that over that amount of time, they could have come up with a better reason.

Don't get me wrong, it was a blessing to leave the place. I was too wishy washy to quit, even though I hated it. (I figure no one likes their job, so deal with it.) So, I airlock the nightmares I still have about working there as well as the nightmares I have about getting fired again and again.

[Shanthaia]

*airlocks bank and their ridiculs terms and conditions alltogether with their fantasy fees*

[Hiccups]

I second that and airlock them again for inactivity fees that continue long after all the funds are gone so that you actually owe the bank money! That's Fifth Thrid bank for you. So beware!!!

[Rickington]

*airlocks the banks again* I third that.

[Hiccups]

I airlock Amvets again. They keep calling me and asking for the person who had my phone number over a year ago. Each time I tell them it's not her number any more. Each time I ask them to stop calling. I have emailed the top guy and the Ohio guy explaining the situation and asking them to stop calling. I have also gone through their automated voice system to have my number removed. But they keep calling. I don't even live in the same part of town that this person lives in. What do I have to do to get them to stop calling? I'm just going to airlock their whole organization! It's obviously not efficient, I mean how much good could it really be doing if they run it this poorly?

*nervously pushes the airlock button several times (once for each phone call) while my eye twitches and an insane look captures my face* "Die suckers, die!!!!!!!" Are they really going? Is the air slowly seeping out of their lungs? Do they have the blank look of death on their faces yet? Why won't they die?! For the love of anything, why won't they die???!!!! *slumps over weeping and wondering if changing my phone number would really work.* If only I could find a phone number to which they have never locked on to. They are worse than the wraith! Once they lock on to a phone number, it's theirs forever!!! They are not letting go until it is just an aged old empty hull of bones. Why won't they leave me alone??!!! *cries uncontrolably*

[Hiccups]

I'm back to airlock those who draw blood for a living but don't do it properly. How hard is it to be competent and compassionate?
I airlock doctors who think that my sole problem in life is not what I'm describing, but rather that "I think sex is bad" (which I don't), and that I wash my hands too often. What quacks!
I airlock companies who promote inexperienced and unknowledgable workers over an office full of people who actually know what they're doing.
I also airlock people who smugly think they know more than they do and then cause everyone else more work to correct their mistakes.
I airlock people who are smug, conceited, and pompous without cause or who think they are above making mistakes.

Sorry. Yes, I'm riled. *pushes button multiple times*

On a less serious note, I airlock bad smells.

[pookey]

airlocks bosses who take you for granted

people who treat you like dirt

fridges that break down in summer

central heating that breaks down in winter

the little arrow on my computer that seems to have a mind of its own that opens and closes programmes ive never seen and prob never will again


people who spit on the pavements

people who dont say pardon after burping


ok done .....for now