I had an... interesting talk with my girlfriend the other day. Namely, she suggested- very tactfully, mind you- that we both pass an AIDS test before we take our relationship to the...ahem... next level, if you get my drift. To be honest, it's the first time I've been asked for such a thing so it surprised me a bit, especially the fact that someone as shy as she is would initiate this kind of talk, but I didn't really have any psychological barrier against it. I've been poked with needles before and I donate blood on regular basis, so the procedure itself doesn't bother me. We are both adult enough to not be shy of the issue, too (I'm 31, she is 28 ), and if she feels she needs it, then why the hell not? In fact, I even took it as a somewhat encouraging indication of her being serious about out relationship.
So today I happened to mention it to my mom and sister. I am not really very comfortable talking to them about such intimate things, but they live in another country and I don't see them very often, so I do my best to make them feel sufficiently involved in my life and sometimes it involves discussing my personal life, to a degree. To my surprise, they were both unanimously outraged, and said that such a request is an indication of mistrust on my girlfriend's part. They think she probably has a pretty low opinion on my past for some reason and believes that I may have "been around" a few times too many, and that is why she is asking for the test. In my mom's case I could perhaps chalk it up to being brought up in the prudish Soviet society where "condom" was something of a swear word- but my sister's teenage years were spent in the liberal Germany, and yet she tells me that both she and any of her German-born friends would have taken such a request from their significant other as a blatant insult. My mom thinks it may have actually been my girlfriends' parents who don't trust me and who "put her up to it". They both think that I should have at the very least make it clear to my girlfriend that I am disturbed that she would even think such a test was needed, if not refuse it outright.
The whole thing left me pretty puzzled. One of us must be out of touch, and I am not convinced that it's my mom and sis. If anyone here can give me an advice, I'll be very grateful, because right now I am not sure what to think.
So today I happened to mention it to my mom and sister. I am not really very comfortable talking to them about such intimate things, but they live in another country and I don't see them very often, so I do my best to make them feel sufficiently involved in my life and sometimes it involves discussing my personal life, to a degree. To my surprise, they were both unanimously outraged, and said that such a request is an indication of mistrust on my girlfriend's part. They think she probably has a pretty low opinion on my past for some reason and believes that I may have "been around" a few times too many, and that is why she is asking for the test. In my mom's case I could perhaps chalk it up to being brought up in the prudish Soviet society where "condom" was something of a swear word- but my sister's teenage years were spent in the liberal Germany, and yet she tells me that both she and any of her German-born friends would have taken such a request from their significant other as a blatant insult. My mom thinks it may have actually been my girlfriends' parents who don't trust me and who "put her up to it". They both think that I should have at the very least make it clear to my girlfriend that I am disturbed that she would even think such a test was needed, if not refuse it outright.
The whole thing left me pretty puzzled. One of us must be out of touch, and I am not convinced that it's my mom and sis. If anyone here can give me an advice, I'll be very grateful, because right now I am not sure what to think.
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