Funny SG-1 lines

[Merin Sun]

Series 9, Arthur's mantle -

Cam pokes Carter, Carter pokes Cam, Cam pokes Carter, Carter punches Cam.
Ok, you're solid.

I love a bit of slapstick

And then towards the end:

Daniel pokes Carter, Carter pokes Daniel, they punch each other

Lee: YOU GUYS!

[Asuran]

Quest part 1

Vala to old man(Adira): We wouldn't dream of staeling it[the map].
Later
Vala: We have to steal it.
Sam: We are not stealing the map.
Vala(ingnoring Sam): Sneak in, under the cover of darkness.
Daniel: We somehow have to convice him our cause is vertrous(spelling).
Vala: Oh, that great! While your destracting him, the rest of us can steal it.
Sam: We are not stealing the map!

[PurpleDolphin]

Welcome all newbies to this thread and to the Forum!!! It was with a funny thread similar to this that I became a forum addict, too! (not that you should become addicts..... oh, well, don't worry, you WILL!!! )

Thanks for the welcome.

Another I thought of is from Reckoning part 2:

[Discovering that Jackson has been probing her mind, RepliCarter tries to disengage. Jackson catches her hand.]
Dr. Jackson: Trying to leave? Sorry. A little more time in Danny's world.

I don't know why that makes me giggle.
Of course I wouldn't mind spending some time in Danny's world.

Dolphin

[General David Niemi]

I don't know why that makes me giggle.
Of course I wouldn't mind spending some time in Danny's world.

Danny's world, sounds like Wayne's world a bit
And that line ain't that bad either

[343_Guilty_Spark]

Jack - its time for plan B
Sam - You have a Plan B?
Jack - No but its time for a Plan B

[JoNzA]

Episode: The warrior

Bra´tac: Jaffa have long memoris
Jack: Well thats alright becuse i don´t

[343_Guilty_Spark]

Episode: The warrior

Bra´tac: Jaffa have long memoris
Jack: Well thats alright becuse i don´t

Lol!

[Julez]

Urgo episode

"He gets.....confused!"
"Me or death, death or me"
"Are they defibulating now?"

The Fifth Race

"There is nothing crufice with me"

[Asuran]

200

Cam: You have to open big, make everyione think its jam packed.
Vala: I love Jam
(they all stare at her)
Vala: Oh, its another play on twist in your earth lanuage.
(later when Martin walks in)
Vala: Well it certainly seems to be packed full of jam.

[JoNzA]

Episode: Crusade

Teal`c: You have been inpragniated whitout compulation
Vala: Yes and I am absolutly terrafired have any of ever heard of anything like it?
Cam: Well ther is one....
Teal´c: Darth Vader

[nimrandir]

From From Unnatural Selection

Jonas: You have to admit that the concept of something so innocuous as a child's toy becoming such a treat is fascinating. I mean, Replicator are not more evil than a virus.
Jack: a REALLY evil virus.

From Space Race
Jack: So ready for some diplomacy Teal'c.
Teal'c: I'm afraid I can not go. Carter has requested me to remain here and help her.
Jack: Carter?
Carter:(as understanding of Tela'c's ploy surfaces in her face)
Yes, I asked him to help me.
Jack:OK, see you later.
Teal'c:(oafter O'neill left) Carter, I am in your debt.
Carter: Indeed.


From Failsafe
Jack: How do I disarm the bomb, Carter?
Sam: Remove the front panel and cut the Green cable.
Jack: I removed the panel, and there are a Blue, Red and Yellow cables. No Green cable.
Sam: Sir, I'm reading from the instructions manual.
Jack: OK, cutting the Blue cable...... cutting the red cable........ and cutting the yellow cable. Carter, I just cutted the three cables and nothing and the clock is still running.
After a while
Jack:How long before the bomb goes off?
Daniel: The bomb is going to go off..... five minutes ago.
Jack: Carter, When and if we ever make it back, remember me to complain about the very deficient design of this bomb.


From Insiders

Baal #X: I am the real Baal.
Mitchell: Alright, let's go Spartacus.

From Reckoning II

Baal: Try that one.
JAcob/Selmak: How could you possibly have known it would work?
Baal: Gods are all-knowing. Now, that this one.
Jacob/Selmak: So much for the omniscience part.

From The Siege III

Weir: How long before the puddle-jumper cloak devise can be plugged into the Atlantis Shield generator?
Zelenka: Two Days.
McKay: Two hours.
Weir: I will take the second estimate.
McKay: Two Days. Did you join the union?
Zelenka: Two hours. have you lost your mind?

And finally From an episode I can't remember

Jack: The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Teal'c: Then What is the road to heaven paved with?

[*Oda*]

From Unending

Spoiler:

[The Odyssey is stuck in a time-dilation field]
Daniel: Just to be sure, how long is a-a while in our time?
Carter: I'm not exactly sure. But we have enough food and water for three months.
Vala: Three months?!
General Landry: We can ration supplies.
Vala (whispering to Daniel): I'm gonna go crazy. And I'm taking you with me.

[Adria]

from avatar:

CARMICHAEL (pulling the syringe out of Teal'c's chest, and looking at Jack): That's not gonna work again.
(Jack is staring aghast at what Carmichael just did.)

O'NEILL: I don't wanna see that again! I thought they were gonna be able to beat this thing.

[placid]

From season 9 "Off the grid"
Daniel (to Mitchell): "We were supposed to stay under the radar."
Teal'c: "I doubt this planet has such technology."

[Morgan le Fay]

Epiphany

Ronon: Looks like a door.
Rodney: [sarcastic] Yes, it is remarkably door-like.

John: MALP on a stick!

Rodney: Just, um, back out if you encounter anything problematic.
John: Problematic?
Rodney: Yeah, like poisonous atmosphere, acid atmosphere, no atmosphere… Hey, it's a MALP on a stick; only shows you so much!

Rodney: Colonel Sheppard would have already had hours to try to make it back through the portal in the time I wasted explaining the situation to Conan and Xena!

John: This is Sheppard. I'm pretty sure you can't hear me, but I don't have a volleyball to talk to, so what the hell.

John: Okay, people, I'm starting to develop some serious abandonment issues here!

Rodney: What is it with you and ascended women?!