Joseph Mallozzi's Blog! (SPOILERS For All SG Shows and Dark Matter)

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September 19, 2015

Photos: Stargate


A buddy of mine is clearing out his place and came across a slew of Stargate swag – keychains, coasters, golf trophies. He did a little research and was amazed by the value fans have placed on similar unique items. Out of curiosity, I decided to check out some of the more readily accessible boxes in my crawlspace and came across these interesting pieces –

The Stargate: Atlantis phone. At one point, it used to work. Maybe it still does – provided I can find the charger. I remember it used to power up and down with a Kawoosh!

I’ve never been a hat guy so these three haven’t seen much action.

A Stargate: SG-1 compact? Sure! Why not?

A rundown of some of the Stargate props/artifacts available back in 2010. What were they? No idea. The book is still in its sealed plastic.

Now this is a pretty cool weighty duo. Perfect for those Stargate-themed parties!

Now THIS is pretty nifty. It’s the media package that went out prior to the Stargate: Universe release. Press the button on the front cover and the chevrons light up!

The book offers a series overview in addition to character breakdowns.

And, of course, tucked in the back are dvd’s of our three part opener: Air I, II and III. I remember something similar being released for Stargate: Atlantis that included a mini water-filled aquarium of sorts. I have that somewhere. I think.

I suppose I could put these up on eBay and make a couple of hundred dollars. OR I could reward you long time fans with a few giveaways. What do you think?

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September 20, 2015

Photos: Snow monkey, Rob Cooper, porchetta


What a difference a week makes. Seven days ago, my Snow Monkeys were riding high, celebrating their first win of the young fantasy football season. Today, they’re on the verge of tasting their first loss – unless, of course, the Packers D totally nuts down Marshawn Lynch AND Andrew Luck has the 6-TD game of his life tomorrow night.

On the bright side, Sunday football host Robert Cooper roasted up a delicious crispy-skin porchetta to help take my mind off my Snow Monkey’s sub-par effort.

Defeat may have been bitter, but this pork roast was savory, sweet, salty, succulent and crunchy!

In better news, it looks like we finally got a place in Toronto. Sight unseen, but the pics look promising. Well-located, dog-friendly, with a balcony I’ll never step out onto but my dogs will surely make great use of, especially this winter when the temperature drops to minus 30 degrees and the two block walk to the green space may as well be two miles.

Thanks to all who offered some great suggestions regarding what I should do with the Stargate swag I featured in yesterday’s blog post. Ultimately, I think that rather than offer them up for auction, I’d like to give everyone a chance to win the individual items…and show off their Stargate knowledge. So watch this blog for more details on how you can win by answering some skill-testing Stargate-related questions!

Big week upcoming. My sister is coming to visit – and I’ll be heading to Los Angeles for a couple of days. Got some interesting meetings lined up. And more than a few interesting restaurants as well!

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September 21, 2015

Photos: Blindspot


Tonight’s the night! The premiere of Blindspot! For those of you not-in-the-know, there’s a Stargate connection here. The series creator, Executive Producer and showrunner is none other than Martin Gero who many of you may remember from such productions as Stargate: SG-1, Stargate: Atlantis, Stargate: Universe, The L.A. Complex, Bored To Death, and, most recently, a little something called Dark Matter.

Tune in tonight!

In other-show-related news, I’ve completed a rough first draft of Dark Matter Episode 202. Paul is presently working on 201. A late curveball thrown our way last week necessitated some minor re-juggling, dropping the story we had planned for Episode 209 into the Episode 205 slot and pushing everything forward. We’re also flopping 210 and 211. On the surface, it may not seem like a big deal but given the serialized nature of the show and all of the developments we have planned for season 2, it was a challenge (to say the least). But it looks like we’ve got it all sorted out and now I can finally turn my thoughts to more pressing matters like the shuttle shot, the Randroid, and Titch.

Call today with Dark Matter Production Designer Ian Brock to discuss the first four episodes!

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September 22, 2015

Photos: Snacks, Joe Mallozzi


Throughout my life, I’ve been fairly consistent in listing the three things I don’t eat. They are, in no particular order: popcorn, candied fruit, and Shepherd’s Pie.

In the case of Shepherd’s Pie, it’s a bit bewildering as I do enjoy its ingredients separately – ground beef, mashed potatoes, corn – but there’s something about the sum of its parts that trigger my gag reflex whenever. Popcorn is just bland – annoyingly so – with those little bits that always get stuck in your teeth. And then there’s candied fruit. Do I even need to explain why that’s on the list?

Anyway, these three have made my culinary don’t-go-to list for as long as I’ve been compiling lists and then, last week, the very foundation of my reality was rocked by this –


“I know you don’t eat popcorn,”said Robert Cooper, “but this stuff is great. I can’t stop eating it.”

I was, of course, dubious. Chicago Mix? A caramel corn and cheddar cheese combination? Urgh. It sounded terrible but, just for a lark, I decided to try a couple, popping one of each kernel into my mouth. My initial reaction: “Weird, but not bad.” And then: “Actually, kind of interesting.” And then: “Help me! I can’t stop!” Five minutes later, I was shoving fistfuls into my mouth while pleading with Ivon Bartok to hide the bag.

Chicago Mix popcorn is the Devil’s snack!

Joining this list of Foods-I’ll-Just-Keep-Eating-Until-They’re-Finished-Or-Taken-Away:

An avowed chocolate snob, I love my Amedei Chuaos and Porclenas, Pralus Papouasies, and Patrick Roger’s pralinés – but nutella always takes me back to my youth. I can eat it straight out of the jar or, preferably, on a bowl of Haagen-Dazs french vanilla.

I discovered Hattendo Cream Buns in the Akihabara subway station in Tokyo a couple of years back. The ultra-soft buns are served chilled and stuffed with a variety of creams – from matcha to chocolate. I can’t eat just one! Any doubt to the relative guilt-inducing prospects of this delicious dessert should be dispelled by the following photo of me eating one:

I bet you couldn’t envision a more guilty-looking eater.

The last time my sister visited Vancouver, she brought me a tin of kouign-amman from Patisserie au Kouign Amann on Mont Royal East. I could barely pronounce the name but one bite of the butter and sugar-infused layered puff pastry with its crunchy caramelized crust and top, and I was hooked. I’ve had other versions but none come close to these. Thank goodness they’re located on the other side of the country.

If you’re ever out to dinner with me and see a chocolate chip skillet cookie a la mode on the menu, you can be damn sure I’ll be ordering it – with an extra scoop of vanilla ice cream because the ice cream to cookie ratio is always off. There was a burger place in Toronto that used to serve them and I used to love the place, suffering through the mediocre burgers just to get to the dessert.

And you? What’s your culinary Kryptonite? Your Devil’s snack?

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September 23, 2015

Photos: Akemi, Carl Binder, dinner at Ink, pugs


Today was Day #1 of my whirlwind seventeen and a half hour Hollywood tour. I’m in town looking to lock down a new U.S. agent and have lined up meetings with three terrific prospects. First up was a duo with a breathtaking literary background, connections in the comic book world and, perhaps most importantly, a surprisingly thorough appreciation for whiskey. In fact, I’d say fully half the meeting was spent discussing bourbon. A great, great sit-down.

And while I was out working it, Akemi was out and about re-familiarizing herself with the neighborhood.

Apparently, her trip to Whole Foods was a colossal disappointment.

Akemi displays her trademark Japanese anger, taking her frustrations out on an art installation.

Hopefully, tomorrow’s visit to Trader Joe’s will perk up her spirits.

The last time we were in town, I let Akemi decide the restaurant. She had a choice between Ink and L.A. Farm. She chose (unwisely) the latter. We rectified that grievous error this time out by going to Ink where we were joined by longtime Stargate Executive Producer (and weird food taste tester) Carl Binder – and enjoyed a splendid meal. Some of the highlights…

The egg yolk gnocchi with hen of the woods mushrooms.

Salt and charcoal potatoes with sour cream and black vinegar. Tasted like camping!

Apple, caramel, shortbread with burnt wood semi-freddo. No, really.

Tomorrow = two more meetings, Trader Joe’s, Spago’s, and an ice cream sandwich!

Meanwhile, back on the home front…

Fear not. They’re in good hands with sis and Daisy!

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September 24, 2015

Photos: Akemi, lunch at Spago


I’m like that classic character of greek tragedy, the one who’s forever doomed to choose the wrong airplane meal.

Fortunately, lunch softened the blow. For our last meal in L.A., Akemi and I hit up Spago where we enjoyed…

The crunchy complimentary bread basket!

Their trademark tuna tartare cones!

And one of the best schnitzels I’ve ever eaten.

Akemi had the lobster salad, but that was a mere antipasto to the entree: a table side visit by Chef Wolfgang Puck. Akemi, a longtime Top Chef enthusiast, was thrilled.

By far the high point of Akemi’s L.A. trip was our afternoon visit to Trader Joe’s where she picked up cookies for the dogs, Kona cookies for her dad, caramel-cheddar popcorn for me, and some quinoa pasta – definitely for her.

I capped things off with two more meetings today.

I have to say – it’s going to be a very tough call…

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September 25, 2015

Video: Peaceful Restaurant

Photos: Akemi, Daisy, Joe's sister, kouign-amman, russian teacakes, home made biscotti, donuts, dinner


My sis and Daisy are in town for the week and, of course, whenever we get together, it’s all about the food.

Like this kouign-amman they brought me from Montreal’s Patisserie au Kouign Amann.

Or mom’s Russian teacakes (aka Mexican wedding cookies).

Or mom’s home made biscotti, perfect for Akemi who is a huge fan of dry crumbly stuff.

And, while out and about today, sis and Daisy brought back some donuts from Cartem’s Donuterie. From left to right: London Fog, Lemon Meringue, and Coconut Cream Pie!

Tonight, we’re off for hand-cut noodles and beef rolls at Peaceful Restaurant!

Oh, and this –

I will NOT be sleeping tonight!

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September 26, 2015


We were walking back to the car after dinner when I happened to notice the two women vacillating outside of La Taqueria, peering in at the menu, brows furrowed, discussing. “It’s great!”I assured them. “Best tacos in Vancouver.”

They turned, all smiles, clearly delighted someone had taken the time to engage them. “What’s good?” asked the one on the right.

“My favorites are the beef cheeks and the tongue.”

“Lengua!”enthused Righty. “I love lengua!”

Akemi has often accused of being too friendly, critical of my propensity for chatting up complete strangers at restaurants and supermarket checkouts – but, on this night, even she had to admit I’d done gone, helping out this poor, hungry duo in need. Hell, if not for my timely intervention, they could have ended up at that Mongolian grill place! “Damn,” I thought, throwing Akemi the most self-satisfied of smiles, “I’m awesome.”. I imagined a scenario where, after a more involved discussion on food and, possibly, literature, we would exchange emails. They would contact me after their return home and thank me for the terrific suggestion and I would ask them how their trip went. “Wonderful! If only all the locals were as friendly as you!”they’d write back. Over the course of many months, our friendship would grow and, next year or the year after, they’d have occasion to offer up their own list of restaurant recommendations when I’d take the opportunity to visit their home town. Chicago? Boston? Maybe Charleston?

“Are you in town long?”I asked.

“No,”said Lefty. “We’re just here for the convention.”

“What convention?”I asked. And it was then that I noticed their name tags – and titles: “MISSIONARY: CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF THE LATTER DAY SAINTS”. And before I could wrap things up – or fake an injury – it was ON! They immediately stepped forward, introducing themselves (I’m not sure if they were sisters or referred to themselves as Sister), deftly dividing and conquering. Lefty took Akemi and I while Righty took my sister and Daisy. In hindsight, a brilliant strategy because, whenever I would try to wind down our conversation and step away, my sis was actively engaged preventing any sort of retreat – and vice-versa.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m delighted to converse with anyone regardless of religious or political affiliation – so long as the topics of religion and/or politics never come up. When you strike up a conversation with a missionary, however, you can expect the subject to come up. Are you religious? Are you spiritual? Do you believe in a higher power? Here’s my card!

We eventually disengaged, said our goodbyes and quietly resumed our walk back to the car. Our silent trek was eventually broken by my sister’s: “You didn’t notice the name tags?”

“Your brother talks to everyone,”said Akemi. It sounded more like an exasperated admission than a simple statement of fact.

I sincerely hoped they would enjoy La Taqueria. But I would not, I decided, be visiting them in Charleston.

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September 27, 2015

Photo: Stargate SG-1 coasters


At Akemi’s behest, I am getting moving on those Stargate giveaways I promised a while back.

First up are these lovely matching surprisingly heavy Stargate: SG-1 coasters!

All you have to do is be one of the first to correctly answer the following five skill-testing SG-1-related questions..

What was the first script Paul Mullie and I wrote for the franchise – the one that landed us a staff job on SG-1’s fourth season?

What signature item did director Wil Waring sneak into his episodes as a visual calling card?

Name three of the generals who ran Stargate Command during the SG-1‘s ten year run?

What play does Teal’c unwitting attend at the end of Family Ties?

What parting advice does AU Cameron Mitchell offer our Cam at the end of Ripple Effect?

I’ll answer the winner in tomorrow blog entry. Good luck!

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September 28, 2015

Photo: Stargate caps


Another day, another giveaway!

Up for grabs in today’s blog entry, the above-pictured caps from all three Stargate shows.

I’m posting early so that readers in the U.K. can participate as well.

To win all three caps, all you have to do is be one of the first to correctly answer the following six questions…

Match the Stargate: SG-1 characters with their Farscape parody counterparts from 200.

What were the names of the warring countries in Stargate: Atlantis’s “The Game?”

Which crew member does Eli end up settling down with in Stargate: Universe’s Epilogue?

Where was the Stargate: SG-1 episode Nightwalkers shot?

Which Stargate: Atlantis episode had the place holder title: “The Grapes of Wraith”?

What was our endearing nickname for the Stargate: Universe alien race known as The Nakai?

That’s it! I’ll announce the winner in tomorrow’s blog entry. Good luck to all!

The winner of yesterday’s SG-1 coasters is…gforce. Gary, do I have your mailing address?

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September 29, 2015

Photos: SG-1 compact


Win this Stargate: SG-1 compact! All you have to do is be one of the first to correctly answer the following five SG1-related questions! The quicker you respond with the correct answer, the greater your chance of winning the grand prize! As per LineNoise’s suggestion, I’ll hold off on approving comments to ensure a level playing field.

On to today’s questions…

Which script had the early working title: Ad Infinitum?

What was the German title for Forever In A Day and what is it’s English translation?

The characters (and one referenced expedition) in season 4’s The Curse were named after what exactly?

What does N.I.D. stand for?

Name two U.S. Air Force Chiefs of Staff who appeared on the show.

Congratulations to the winner of yesterday’s Stargate caps giveaway, Tom C.!

Tune in tomorrow for more!

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September 30, 2015

Photo: SG-1 10th Anniversary framed photo and keychain


Feast your eyes upon the glory that is the 10th Anniversary MGM giveaway which includes a gate-framed photo of the team that started it all AND an SG-1 keychain in its original flimsy silver paper and cardboard box!

This can be yours if you are one of the first to correctly answer the following five SG-1-related questions.

Like yesterday, to ensure a level playing field, I will hold off on approving comments…unless I forget and accidentally do so anyway, like last time.

Ready? Okay, here’s goes…

Actress Jennifer Halley, who played the part of Lt. Tolinev in season 5’s The Tomb, had also been up for (and just missed out on) another role in season 4. What was that role?

Who does the character Grell, Teal’c t.v. counterpart, quote at the end of Wormhole X-Treme?

What was my one and only onscreen line on Stargate?

What guest star’s scheduling conflict in the episode Summit resulted in a wholesale second draft rewrite? And who did we replace their character with?

In Fail Safe, what is Jack’s response to Sam’s bomb-defusing instruction: “Now find the wires leading from the timer to the detonator and cut the red one.”

Congratulations to yesterday’s winner of the SG-1 compact, Kathy C!

And good luck to today’s contestants!

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October 1, 2015

Photos: Spider, Roxy


From the corner of my eye, I saw Akemi shuffle up beside me and stand quietly by, waiting for me to acknowledge her. I looked over and she spoke up: “Sorry to interrupt, but I need your help. There is a spider in the dryer.”

I chuckled. My poor girlfriend, ever prone to scares. The beep of a car horn will make her jump; the presence of a house fly enough to send her into a full panic. I shook my head and followed her downstairs where I grabbed some toilet paper from the bathroom, then approached the washing machine.

“Not the washing machine,”she corrected me, standing several feet back, seemingly poised to take off at the first sign of trouble. “The dryer.”

I couldn’t help but smile. Another shake of my head. I opened the dryer door, peeked inside and – set eyes upon the biggest spider I’ve ever encountered. It was the size of my fist! I slammed the door shut. This would require more toilet paper. A lot more.

I wavered, glanced back uncertainly at Akemi, wide-eyed, hands bunched and to her mouth like a horror film victim about to loosen her final, bloodcurdling scream. Then, I set the dryer on high and headed back upstairs, electing to come back and deal with the issue later.

I resumed my scriptwriting and, twenty minutes later, went back downstairs to see how our furry little guest was doing. Somewhere between desiccated and crispy, I hoped. I opened the dryer door, peered inside – and was met with a sight even more horrifying than the first. The dryer was empty! I searched top and bottom. Nothing. The spider had pulled a Houdini. I imagined it, somewhere, in hiding, slightly toasted and annoyed, quietly plotting its revenge.

I turned the dryer back on, hoping it was still in there somewhere – then headed upstairs to break the news to Akemi.

“I need to tell you something,”I said when she walked into the room. Immediate concern flashed across her face. “You’d better sit down for this.” She took a seat. I lay a reassuring hand on her knee. “The spider…is gone. When I went to check the dryer, it wasn’t there.”

Akemi was horrified. “Joe!”she said. Then “JOE!”. And then “JOE!!!!”. Hands clapped to her cheeks, she scurried downstairs to make sure. I heard the dryer door open and then: “JOE!!!!!!!!!”.

I found her standing in hallway, pointing at the dryer. “On the left side,”she informed me.

I approached, swung open the door and looked. I spotted him – tucked away in a corner, looking significantly less imposing at now roughly one tenth his original size. His down-sizing drove home a powerful lesson. Stay hydrated!

I cautiously reached out and poked him with the toilet paper, prepared for a potential horror movie fake-out where the killer springs up for one final attack. But no. He was dry. And crumbled the instant I went to remove him.

Akemi took over from there.

Congratulations to Motownfilly on winning the SG-1 10th Anniversary framed photo and keychain! More giveaways to come!

Today’s entry is dedicated to my sis – and the memory of her beloved Roxy.

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October 2, 2015

Photos: Dark Matter


As of September 28th, Dark Matter‘s first season is available on Netflix U.S. (and Canada should follow shortly!) for all of your binge-watching (and re-watching) needs.

Need a reason? Well, check out this recent article from DenOfGeek.com on Why Syfy’s Dark Matter is well worth your time…

http://www.denofgeek.com/tv/dark-mat...orth-your-time

“Syfy space opera Dark Matter caught many off-guard with just how interesting its first season became. Here’s why you should watch it…”

Or review this past article from TheTVJunkies.com on 7 reasons to binge the sci fi summer hit…

http://www.thetvjunkies.com/dark-mat...ampaign=buffer

“How could we not mention the plot twists? Nearly every episode features one game changer or another, whether it’s some dramatic new information or a member of the crew does something you never saw coming. Dark Matter keeps you guessing every episode and rarely disappoints with the follow through. With some serious cliffhangers sprinkled throughout the series, you’ll find yourself binge-watching before you know it.”

Get your friends and family hooked! Prep for season 2! And relive some of season one’s most memorable moments like:

And…

And…

And…

And…

And…

And…

And…

And…

And…

Who’s in?!!

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October 3, 2015

Photos: Dark Matter


With Dark Matter‘s first season off to – by all accounts – a rollicking star on Netflix, I wanted to look back on the show’s performance to date. Specifically, I wanted to look at the show’s overall performance. Which, at the end of the day, is easier said than done.

Over on SyFy, Dark Matter is (the last time I checked) the #2 original scripted show on the network, and holds the #3 spot in the oft-discussed “key demo” (averaging 0.24, just a tick behind the #2 spot averaging 0.25).

Internationally, the news was even better, with Dark Matter pulling in BIG numbers in territories like the U.K., Australia, Portugal and (closer to home) Canada!

When it comes to downloads, however, the results are a little…murkier. How many downloads from the network websites? iTunes? Other legitimate sources? I don’t have that information.

How about illegitimate sources? Well, ironically, that information is a little more handy. According to thedrum.com, Dark Matter was one of the top ten most pirated shows in June, July, and August. The September analysis is forthcoming, but I expect the results will be similar.

On the one hand, I’m heartened to see there are so many smart, tech-savvy viewers out there checking out the show. On the other hand, all those “other” smart, tech-savvy viewers don’t really factor into the show’s renewal prospects.

Still, Dark Matter‘s online popularity suggests that our creative approach to the show’s narrative has paid off as expected. We set out to create a character-driven series that built dramatically over the course of its 13 episode first season run, setting up mysteries, paying them off, peppering each story with twists, turns, and surprises, building momentum toward our shocking finale. In other words, we wanted to create a binge-worthy series that viewers HAD to keep watching – and, overall, it appears we’ve succeeded.

My hope is that, between now and the season 2 premiere, we continue to build our audience so that we come back in the summer of 2016 bigger and better than ever. And, of course, the way to do that is to get the word out – and get people watching (and even re-watching).

So, while you’re out watching and getting the word out about the show, we’ll be busy making it. This week, Paul and I head to Toronto for meetings with Executive Producer Vanessa Piazza and Production Designer Ian Brock. The week following, Akemi and I (and the dogs!) make the big move. And then – things are going to get crazy!