Joseph Mallozzi's Blog! (SPOILERS For All SG Shows and Dark Matter)

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...s-mortal-coil/

September 14, 2012

Video: Ending of This Mortal Coil

Photos: Chef Ted, dinner at Campagnolo, Stargate: Atlantis


The other day, I received an email from my buddy, Rob, informing me that this was Passion for Pork Week in Vancouver. What, exactly, that meant I had no idea, but I knew that if pork was the central theme, then the gang at Campagnolo Restaurant were the people to see. I texted owner, Tom Doughty, to let him know we were coming. He gave Chef Ted Anderson the heads up and – well, we ended up sitting down a spectacular meal. Actually, I hesitate to call it a meal since “feast” would have been much more appropriate. Rob and his wife, Hillary, ended up bringing home leftovers equal to the amount of food the four of us ate for dinner...

To be honest, I didn’t think we’d ordered THAT much, but there were certain items we just had to have. Add in a few specials, a couple of surprises from the kitchen and...

In addition, we had some marinated olives, a Stoney Paradise tomato salad (so sweet, they almost taste like candy), and a little something from the kitchen: some wonderful Buffalo Mozzarella.

Next up, the salumi platter. We decided to go large so that we could try a wider variety of cured meats...

Alas memory fails me on the details of the various offerings but, suffice it to say, it was one of the high points of the night. Next time, I could just come back and eat that.

From there, we moved on to pizzas: a simple but excellent Margherita, and -

We then moved on to an enormous portion of the tasty house lasagna which was followed by our main:

Yes, we were stuffed. But when have you known me to miss dessert? Keeping with the running theme, we ordered all three dessert selections:

Wow. What a feast. Camp never disappoints.

If you’re in Vancouver, check them out:

Campagnolo Restaurant

1020 Main Street Vancouver, BC V6A 2W1 2W1

(604) 484-6018

A big thank you to Tom Doughty, Chef Ted Anderson, Chef Rob Belcham, and the rest of the gang at Campagnolo/Campagnolo Roma/Fat Dragon.

Our trip down Stargate Atlantis memory lane continues with...

THIS MORTAL COIL (410)

I can’t recall a time I was more frustrating writing (and rewriting and re-rewriting) a script than this one. On the surface, it seems like a straightforward enough story: our characters get into trouble but it turns out they’re not our characters, however they enlist the help of our characters who end up getting killed at episode’s end. Except, it turns out, they’re not our characters. It was one of those episodes that required a lot of explaining – which is something I’m averse to doing because I feel it slows things down. I prefer to assume the audience is smart enough to piece it together. According to Paul, however, I tend to assume way too much and, as a result, I kept receiving notes to “explain this” and “clarify that”. The challenge, of course, was not in explaining and clarifying but in doing so in a way that was concise and entertaining. How successful I was in the end is questionable since I tend to be my own worst critic and the frustration I experienced working on this script lingers. Still, the episode has its highlights, among them some very nice character moments.

It was great having Torri return as Weir(ish) – although this, sadly, would mark her final appearance on the show. Even though the assumption is that Elizabeth was killed by Oberoth (this was done to extinguish any hope for a successful rescue op since it would have been something that would have weighed on Sheppard moving forward), I never imagined she was actually dead. In my mind, Oberoth respected Elizabeth too much – and found her far too useful – to simply kill her. The plan was to have the team uncover the real Elizabeth, in stasis somewhere, in a future episode – something we never got the chance to do.

One of my favorite moments comes at the end of the episode – or, more accurately, after the episode has ended. McKay finally succeeds in tracking every Aurora class replicator vessel in the galaxy. As he and Sheppard look on, we see the ships flash up on the star map. BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP. Six in all. ”That’s not so bad,”says McKay. ”I guess the wraith have really taken a toll.” Suddenly, another eight BEEPS and the corresponding ships appear onscreen. Then, another fifteen leaves McKay and Sheppard staring, aghast. I was very specific that I wanted to fade out on an ominous sting, wait a beat, and then hear another eleven BEEPS punctuated by Rodney’s “Oh, crap.”

While Teal’c ending up at a reading of the Vagina Monologues was my favorite SG-1 ending, this was my favorite Atlantis ending.

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...ins-rememberd/

September 15, 2012

Photos: Martin Gero, Stargate watch, Stargate: Atlantis


One of the nice things about this blog is the sense of community that has developed over the past 5+ years I’ve been updating it. Readers have come and gone but many have stuck it out and become regulars, distinguishing themselves through insightful posts, amusing anecdotes, or their single-minded devotion to the wraith. One such regular is Kelly Hurt who has been following yours truly since 2007. Although the name may not ring a bell, her pseudonym probably does: Anne Teldy. Back in January of 2008, I held a contest to celebrate the 1 000 000th visit to this blog. In my January 19th entry, I allowed our buddy Cookie Monster to announce the winner:

“COOKIE MONSTER: Congradulation to Anne Teldy who post at 10:03 a.m. and be first comment after one millionith visit! Enjoy watch for tell time and hit people with! Also enjoy possible red shirt charakter Anne before she be eated by carnivorus space cow!”

Yes, that’s right. Anne not only won a Stargate 10th Anniversary watch (not suitable for children under 12 since the damn thing was so heavy it would no doubt dislocate their fragile little shoulders):

- she also won a part on Stargate: Atlantis! Sort of. I ended up naming a character after her in an upcoming episode.

And she was, naturally, pleased to hear it, leaving the following message in the comment section in which she thanked me – and then offered some constructive criticism for my upcoming script:

“Mr. M,

I was so excited I couldn’t sleep last night! I have a gabillion ideas for the character which I know wasn’t part of the contest and you couldn’t use even if I sent them to you. So I thought I’d ask for three small things which aren’t really ideas and which you are completely free to ignore.

1. If at all possible, please don’t make my namesake a ‘space bimbo’. I wouldn’t mind if she were pretty, but please not a slutty airhead. That could get a wee bit embarrassing if people thought the character was based on your actual impressions of me and was not just a random character you gave my name. That said, if needs must, go for it. Better a bimbo than nothing.:-D

2. If at all possible, please have Sheppard growl/shout “Anne!” the way he does “Rodney!” when he’s exasperated or frustrated with McKay. (Sheppard saying my whole name would be nice, too.)

3. If at all possible, have Rodney include “Anne Teldy” in one of his speed-speeches or rants.

That’s my top three requests for my namesake character. I will not say or ask anything further about my crazy ideas for her and you can just ignore them if you want. I trust you.

Thanks again for the marvelous prize!

Anne Teldy”

In the end, Sheppard didn’t yell her name and Rodney didn’t rant about her, but Major Anne Teldy was no airhead bimbo. She was a pretty kick-ass character; the leader of an all-female team Sheppard teams up with in season 5?s Whispers.

The plan was to eventually bring Major Teldy and a couple of her teammates back in a future episode but, unfortunately, time ran out on the series before we got a chance to see her again (frankly, before we got a chance to do a lot of things). Nevertheless, I like to think that Major Teldy is out there somewhere, leading leading Porter and Dusty through the gate on all sorts of amazing adventures (Come on, people. Where’s the fan fic?).

As it turned out, Anne Teldy was just a pseudonym, an online handle like the one Baron Destructo uses (Vince Ramone) to leave anonymous critiques on the Downtown Abbey fan forums. Anne Teldy was, in reality, Kelly Hurt – as she revealed to us:

“By the way, “Anne Teldy” is just a nom de Internet I adopted years ago when I first came online. [It was the way my then not-yet-two-years-old niece said "Aunt Kelly".] My actual name is Kelly Hurt. I asked Mr. M. to use “Anne Teldy” for my character instead as I prefer it and, in a way, it honors my niece as well.”

It was a nice thing to do for her niece. And, upon further reflection, made things easier for me since Major Hurt would have opened the character up to all sorts of ribbing.

In time, we got to know a little more about Kelly. That she was unwell. That she was occasionally bed-ridden. And that she was an avid reader. This led a number of her fellow blog readers to send her well-wishes in the form of postcards and letters and, in a couple of instances, books!

Over the past couple of years, Kelly has continued to visit this blog, but these visits have become somewhat infrequent owing to a recent downturn in her health. Then, earlier this week, we received the following message:

“Hello All

This is Anne Teldy’s little sister. We received test results on Anne today. The news was not good. Her care will now be overseen by Hospice. Our information is sketchy at this point. We will know more tomorrow. What we were told today was at best we will have a couple of more months with Anne. A test will be done tomorrow morning that will let us know if we will be lucky enough to have that much more time with her. If Anne is up to it, she will pop in herself to visit. If she can’t, I will be her eyes for her and share the latest news from this blog with her. Anne is experiencing difficulty with spasms in her muscles making it hard for her to type. I will be happy to provide updates as time permits for those that are interested.

This blog has always meant a lot to Anne, and I will be sure she is able to enjoy it for as long as possible.

Anne Teldy’s Little Sister”

So, Kelly, please know (and I’m sure I speak for all of us here on the blog when I say) we are wishing our Major Teldy all the best and sending positive energy her way.

This entry is dedicated to all of the members of this extended blog family but especially to Kelly in this most difficult time.

And I’d like to cap off today’s entry by continuing our look back on one of Kelly’s favorite shows, Stargate Atlantis – and an episode that turned out to be a fan favorite:

BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER’D (411)

Actress Michelle Morgan was originally cast as Linara, Davos’s grand-daughter in The Seer, but scheduling conflicts required us to recast the role. Two episodes later, when we were looking for a Fran, we immediately thought of Michelle. And her resemblance to actress Torri Higginson clinched the deal. Michelle was great in her original audition and simply terrific as the friendly but doomed replicator. Fran’s altruistic eagerness and ultimate sacrifice at episode’s end is truly heartbreaking.

Another scheduling conflict through a wrench in the production when Chris Heyerdahl, who had previously played the part of the captive wraith, Todd, was unable to reprise the role. As a result, actor Brendan Penny stepped in for this episode. Chris later looped Todd’s dialogue during post-production. Hats off to our amazing hair and make-up department.

The VFX budget for this episode surpassed those of any other episode of the series. And, in my opinion, it was money well spent:

And another hats off to VFX Supervisor Mark Savela and the rest of the VFX crew.

Not surprisingly, Be All My Sins rates as one of the most popular episodes in Stargate fandom.

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...tle-road-trip/

September 16, 2012

Videos: Entertaining guy, Seattle fans

Photos: Ivon Bartok, Lawren Bancroft-Wilson, Rob Cooper, Seattle, snow monkey


Hey, remember that movie Road Trip where a group of friends hop in a car and drive cross country? Well, today, I experienced my own abbreviated version – minus the scene in which someone gets served a piece of french toast that took a ride down the back of somebody’s pants (although, to be fair, I can’t vouch for that stadium pulled pork sandwich).

This morning, Ivon, Lawren, Rob and I hit the road at 8:00 a.m. sharp and made the drive to Seattle in a little under two and a half hours.

We were there, of course, to take in the big game pitting the hometown Seahawks against Rob’s perennially underachieving Dallas Cowboys. But Rob had high hopes for his Cowboys coming off their upset week one win over the Superbowl champion New York Giants. Maybe, just maybe, this is the season they’ll show some consistency and live up to their potential (spoiler alert: no, it isn’t).

We parked and walked over to the stadium where we checked out the various food stalls. Our first stop:

The tacos were quite good. Even though there was a line-up, it moved quickly. And there was this guy to keep us entertained while we waited:

Then, we headed inside to check out the concession stands inside the stadium. I have to say, I was very disappointed. I was expecting a little more variety. And, quite frankly, a lot more tastiness. The pulled pork sandwich was dry and the sausage sampler was only one third successful. The cheese nachos suffered from a woefully uneven cheese to nacho ratio:

And, for dessert, I had one of those average chocolate-covered ice-creams on a stick. I regret not having waited in line for the donuts.

Our seats were in the 300 section so named because it is located approximately 300 feet below the mesosphere. Perhaps more alarming than the thinning air was how incredibly steep the seating. I imagine many a drunken fan has taken a loooong ride down those steps.

We were in the standing-room-only section. By that, I mean that even though we had seats, everyone in our section elected to stand for most of the game, forcing us to stand in order to see what was going on.

Boy, Seattle fans are dedicated. And LOUD!!!!

Fortunately, they only screamed like this whenever Dallas had the ball. Or whenever the Seahawks did something good. Which was most of the time.

As for the game itself – well, it wasn’t much of a game. The Cowboys fumbled the opening kick-off – and it was downhill from there.

The game and the food may have been disappointing, but the high point was easily the cheerleaders who we got to see a lot of on the big screen – jumping and dancing and smiling. I’m not sure, but I think I spotted CNN’s Nancy Grace among the boisterous pompom wielders. I said to Ivon that dating a cheerleader must be great because they all seem so happy all the time.

We headed out as the clock was ticking down on the Cowboys’ 27-7 defeat, then stopped off for another round of tacos before piling back into the car and driving back to Vancouver.

In the end, great fun was had by all. With the exception of the Cowboys.

And my Snow Monkeys who lost this weekend and now wallow in the misery of a 0-2 record heading into next weekend’s match-up against the equally winless Running Dead managed by Ivon Bartok.

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...s-spiderman-2/

September 17, 2012

Photos: Spiderman 2


Spiderman 2 be most disappointing sekwel since Grover’s little brother, Mervin, born. Unlike first solid outing, dis foray into web-slinging adventure be peppered wit WTF (What de Fudgee-o) moments and cheesy dialogue. First movie skirted line between serious and fun, but dis movie veer into stupid-silly territory, at times reminding monster of Richard Lester Superman. Anyone who say Spiderman 2 is better movie dan original Spiderman need to have deir head examined (becuz monster will headbutt him/her first opportunity me get).

Movie open wit fun sekwence of Spiderman swinging across city to deliver pizzas – but capped off wit painfully extended sekwence of Peter trying to push falling brooms back into a closet. Dis sadly foreshadow more nyuk-nyuks to come.

Peter late for delivery, get fired, and go back home where – Aunt May, MJ, and Harry surprise him. It be his birthday. But he forget. Seriously. Who forget deir own birthday? Sadness continue for Peter when he go back to his apartment and he haranged by landlord for rent – while landlord’s daughter makes googly eyes at him wit her googly eyes. Peter try to make it to MJ’s play but he too late after foiling robbery and misses show.

Meanwhile, scientist experimenting wit cold fuzion and mechanical arms have experiment go awry. Everyting made of metal (except his mechanical arms and his wife’s earrings) sucked into magnetized field. Wife killed and he injured. Mechanical arms fused to his spine and, in great horrific operating scene, he kill surgeons trying to remove dem and go on rampage.

Spiderman try to stop him and Aunt May get caught in de middle, giving rise to another silly sekwence where Dr. Octoplotz use her as hostage and she respond by hitting him wit her umbrella. Spiderman manage to save her even tho he mysteriously run out of web fluid. What up wit dat?

Meanwhile, MJ admit she love Peter. And she prove how much she love him by deciding to marry J. Jonah Jameson son (?).

But MJ least of Peter’s problems. He also notice he having trouble wit his wall crawling ability. He go see doctor who tell him it be mental, dat he have “a choice”. So much for subtle psychological portrait of our hero’s dilemma. And, just in case, it not obvious enuf, we cut to heavenly conversation where Uncle Ben tell him dat IT BE MENTAL, DAT HE HAVE A CHOICE!

Peter decide he not want to be Spiderman anymore and trow his costume away in de trash. Costume found by guy who, for some reazon, believe it belong to de real Spiderman who must have quit his job (last night, monster find six rolls of gauze, loose sparkles and bag of chicken feathers in dumpster so automatically assumed Lady Gaga retired). Dis become headline news! Spiderman Quit!

While all dis going on, Peter’s best friend Harry wanting revenge on Spiderman for killing his dad, Norman (Green Goblin). He tell crazy Dr. Octopolotz dat his buddy Peter may know where Spiderman be. As Dr. Octoplotz head off to track him down, Harry call out: “Don’t hurt Peter!”. Nononono. Of course not. Why you tink dis crazed homocidal lunatik will hurt Peter just becuz you tell him he be key to finding Spiderman?

Back at Peter’s apartment, we treated to completely useless scene where landlord’s daughter treat him to milk and chocolate cake. Seriously. What dis have to do wit anyting? Why landlord’s daughter even in dis movie?

Dis followed up by so-weird-it-almost-feel-like-a-dream-sekwence speech by Aunt May in which she go on and on and on (and on) about de importance of being a hero. Why she telling Peter dis? Well, only one of two possible reazons: a) She know he really Spiderman b) She going senile.

Later, Peter decide to check if his webshooting abilities back. How he do dis? By trying to spin a web? No, of course not. By trowing himself off de top of a building. Unfortunately for him, webshooters still not working and he almost killed in fall. On one hand, he look like a complete idiot and almost die. On de other hand, scene is good for a few nyuk-nyuks.

Peter steal back his costume and, again as Spiderman, cross paths with Dr. Octoplotz. Spidey save runaway train before it can ride off trail track dat mysteriously end in insane drop over city (dis gag was funnier in Blues Brothers, mainly becuz dat movie WAS a comedy). He collapse but, in super cheeserific maudlin scene, he borne aloft by passengers who stand up for him when Dr. Octoplotz come back.

He deliver Spiderman to Harry who unmask to reveal: his BFF Peter! Peter convince Harry to tell him where Dr. Octoplotz hiding.

Doc kidnap MJ and bring her back to his waterfront lab. Spiderman show up as Octoplotz create new experimental reactor. Dey fight! For reazons known only to film’s writer, Spiderman reveal his true identity to lunatik supervillain and ask him nicely for help. Dat seem to work and Dr. Octoplotz save New York by dumping reactor in east river. Easy as dat.

Peter reveal his sekret identity to MJ and tell her dat he love her but dey can never be together. MJ wait until her wedding day before abandoning her husband-to-be at de altar and running away, smiling, in her wedding dress. What a *****.

Harry, meanwhile, diskover his dad’s sekret lab – and identity! Dis skillfully set up Spiderman 3.

Or maybe not.

Verdikt: CG shots of Spiderman swinging thru city be almost Hulk level quality but other sekwences pretty good. Villain, Dr. Octoplotz, be more visually spectakular, but he a far less interesting charakter dan Norman Osborne/Green Goblin. Why he do what he do? Just becuz he crazy? What de point of landlord’s daughter charakter? De chocolate cake scene? Still, some great action sewkwences and J. Jonah Jameson be terrific in all his scenes.

Rating: 6 out of 10 chocolate chippee cookies.

Today’s blog entry be dedikated to birthday boy, gforce.

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...spoils-of-war/

September 18, 2012 - Part 1

Photos: Book, Stargate: Atlantis, Alan McCullough, concept art


Not a fine mystery read or a good mystery read. I’d like you to recommend me a great one. A couple of guidelines:

1. As much as I respect the classics, I’d prefer to read something set in our contemporary world. Well, contemporary-ish. I’ll pass on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and Edgar Allen Poe but welcome anything in the Patricia Highsmith vein.

2. Nothing too noirish. Dashiell Hammet, Raymond Chandler, Mickey Spillane – all terrific writers, but not my cup of tea.

3. No espionage (John le Carre), police procedurals (Ed McBain), cozies (Agatha Christie), legal/medicals, romantic suspense (Mary Higgins Clark), or anything that is part of an ongoing series involving a recurring investigator. I’m on the fence re: mixed genres. Yes to a whodunit set on an isolated space station but no to mysteries in which our inquiring protagonist is a vacationing housewife, precocious kid, or a surprisingly wry barnyard animal.

4. Something well-plotted yet pleasantly unpredictable with no annoying contrivances or conveniences (Hey, it turns out Sheila’s great-aunt’s long lost child is really Maureen who just happened to have been working at the estate as a fountain cleaner when Lord Waddlington was murdered!).

5. Something that starts off strong, engages the reader throughout, and pays off with a satisfying conclusion. I’ve read quite a few novels that manage two out of three, starting strong and engaging the reader throughout, only to deliver a letdown of an ending (ie. In one case, the reason the mystery was so baffling was because the actual murderer wasn’t introduced until the last thirty pages and, oh yeah, two killers acted independently but just so happened to murder people in the same house on the same night).

6. Something with interesting and believable characters. I don’t care what the protagonist’s schtick is. If he’s not interesting, I lose interest and stop reading.

According to the Mystery Writers of America, these are the Top 100 Mystery Novels of All Time. Agree? Disagree? Let’s hear from you. Especially if you’d like to recommend something on this list that meets the aforementioned guidelines:

1. The Complete Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle (Included in this are The Hound of the Baskervilles, A Study in Scarlet, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and The Sign of Four, each of which garned a lot of votes on its own.)
2. The Maltese Falcon, by Dashiell Hammett
3. Tales of Mystery and Imagination, by Edgar Allen Poe (Includes “The Gold Bug” and “Murders in the Rue Morgue,” which also received a lot of individual votes.)
4. The Daughter of Time, by Josephine Tey
5. Presumed Innocent, by Scott Turow
6. The Spy Who Came in from the Cold, by John le Carré
7. The Moonstone, by Wilkie Collins
8. The Big Sleep, by Raymond Chandler
9. Rebecca, by Daphne du Maurier
10. And Then There Were None (aka Ten Little Indians or Ten Little ******s), by Agatha Christie
11. Anatomy of a Murder, by Robert Traver
12. The Murder of Roger Ackroyd, by Agatha Christie
13. The Long Goodbye, by Raymond Chandler
14. The Postman Always Rings Twice, by James M Cain
15. The Godfather, by Mario Puzo
16. The Silence of the Lambs, by Thomas Harris
17. A Coffin for Dimitrios, by Eric Ambler
18. Gaudy Night, by Dorothy L Sayers
19. Witness for the Prosecution, by Agatha Christie
20. The Day of the Jackal, by Frederick Forsyth
21. Farewell, My Lovely, by Raymond Chandler
22. The Thirty-Nine Steps, by John Buchan
23. The Name of the Rose, by Umberto Eco
24. Crime and Punishment, by Fyodor Dostoevsky
25. Eye of the Needle, by Ken Follett
26. Rumpole of the Bailey, by John Mortimer
27. Red Dragon, by Thomas Harris
28. The Nine Tailors, by Dorothy L Sayers
29. Fletch, by Gregory Mcdonald
30. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, by John le Carré
31. The Thin Man, by Dashiell Hammett
32. The Woman in White, by Wilkie Collins
33. Trent’s Last Case, by E C Bentley
34. Double Indemnity, by James M Cain
35. Gorky Park, by Martin Cruz Smith
36. Strong Poison, by Dorothy L Sayers
37. Dance Hall of the Dead, by Tony Hillerman
38. The Hot Rock, by Donald E Westlake
39. Red Harvest, by Dashiell Hammett
40. The Circular Staircase, by Mary Roberts Rinehart
41. Murder on the Orient Express, by Agatha Christie
42. The Firm, by John Grisham
43. The Ipcress File, by Len Deighton
44. Laura, by Vera Caspary
45. I, the Jury, by Mickey Spillane
46. The Laughing Policeman, by Maj Sjöwall and Per Wahlöö
47. Bank Shot, by Donald E Westlake
48. The Third Man, by Graham Greene
49. The Killer Inside Me, by Jim Thompson
50. Where Are the Children?, by Mary Higgins Clark

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...spoils-of-war/

September 18, 2012 - Part 2


51. “A” Is for Alibi, by Sue Grafton
52. The First Deadly Sin, by Lawrence Sanders
53. A Thief of Time, by Tony Hillerman
54. In Cold Blood, by Truman Capote
55. Rogue Male, by Geoffrey Household
56. Murder Must Advertise, by Dorothy L Sayers
57. The Innocence of Father Brown, by G K Chesterton
58. Smiley’s People, by John le Carré
59. The Lady in the Lake, by Raymond Chandler
60. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
61. Our Man in Havana, by Graham Greene
62. The Mystery of Edwin Drood, by Charles Dickens
63. Wobble to Death, by Peter Lovesey
64. Ashenden, by W Somerset Maugham
65. The Seven Per-Cent Solution, by Nicholas Meyer
66. The Doorbell Rang, by Rex Stout
67. Stick, by Elmore Leonard
68. The Little Drummer Girl, by John le Carré
69. Brighton Rock, by Graham Greene
70. Dracula, by Bram Stoker
71. The Talented Mr Ripley, by Patricia Highsmith
72. The Moving Toyshop, by Edmund Crispin
73. A Time to Kill, by John Grisham
74. Last Seen Wearing, by Hillary Waugh
75. Little Caesar, by W R Burnett
76. The Friends of Eddie Coyle, by John V Higgins
77. Clouds of Witness, by Dorothy L Sayers
78. From Russia, with Love, by Ian Fleming
79. Beast in View, by Margaret Millar
80. Smallbone Deceased, by Michael Gilbert
81. The Franchise Affair, by Josephine Tey
82. Crocodile on the Sandbank, by Elizabeth Peters
83. Shroud for a Nightingale, by P D James
84. The Hunt for Red October, by Tom Clancy
85. Chinaman’s Chance, by Ross Thomas
86. The Secret Agent, by Joseph Conrad
87. The Dreadful Lemon Sky, by John D MacDonald
88. The Glass Key, by Dashiell Hammett
89. Judgment in Stone, by Ruth Rendell
90. Brat Farrar, by Josephine Tey
91. The Chill, by Ross Macdonald
92. Devil in a Blue Dress, by Walter Mosley
93. The Choirboys, by Joseph Wambaugh
94. God Save the Mark, by Donald E Westlake
95. Home Sweet Homicide, by Craig Rice
96. The Three Coffins (aka The Hollow Man), by John Dickson Carr
97. Prizzi’s Honor, by Richard Condon
98. The Steam Pig, by James McClure
99. Time and Again, by Jack Finney
100. A Morbid Taste for Bones, by Ellis Peters, tied with Rosemary’s Baby, by Ira Levin

Our trip down Atlantis memory lane continues with -

SPOILS OF WAR (412)

Well, this one was a first – an episode that picks up NOT when we last left off but BEFORE we last left off, introducing a scene involving the wraith that we didn’t see during the attack on the Asuran home world. It was not only unique in our playing with the narrative timeline, but also an uncharacteristic “cutting to the bad guys”, something we generally avoided on the show. This scene was also notable for providing one of the highlights for that season’s blooper year when one of the wraith trips and almost falls flat on his face as he brings in the ZPM’s.

This episode was written and produced by Stargate veteran Alan McCullough who, after Stargate: Atlantis wrapped production, moved on to Sanctuary and Lost Girl. When the time came, I was very sorry to see him (and Martin Gero) go.

One of the standout moments in this episode was the destruction of the wraith cloning facility. Our VFX department excelled at wholesale destruction:.

On the other hand, kudos to our Special Effects and Make up departments on the grotesque wraith drone birthing scene. Yech. It’s no wonder they all wear those masks.

Teyla’s pregnancy becomes an issue for Sheppard – and I believe rightly so. Still, his decision to allow her to come along on the mission pays off when she ends up assuming control of the wraith queen to win their freedom. Sure, it’s easy to say it was the right choice in retrospect but if you were leading the team, would you have allowed Teyla to tag along?

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...st-quarantine/

September 19, 2012

Photos: Bee, wasp, Akemi, Stargate: Atlantis


It was a fiery pain, sharp and sudden, as if I’d brushed up against a white hot stove element. I dropped my bag of dog treats and immediately checked the source of the intense burning, discovered the detached wasp’s stinger embedded on the inside base of my right ring finger. It instantly brought to mind a video I once saw, an extreme close up of an abandoned stinger, one end trailing its former owner’s innards, the other still pumping liquid poison into its unfortunate victim. I acted quickly, pulled it out, then attempted to suck the toxin out of the tiny wound – with negligible results. In retrospect, I think that only works for snake bites.

WTF? I’ve always laughed at the women in my life – my sister, my ex, Akemi – whenever they’ve reacted with hysterics, shrieking and bolting, at the mere sight of a wasp, ever-confident in my assumption (evidently an erroneous one) that the damn things only sting when provoked. Also, from what I’d been told, unlike bees that can sting with gay abandon and not suffer any consequences, wasps die after they sting someone. As it turns out, wrong again as its reversed: bees die because of their hooked stingers while wasps are unaffected due to fact that their stingers are straight. So, my assailant wasn’t suicidal, but she (I’ve since learned that only females possess stingers) was certainly crazed. How else to explain that completely unjustified attack? I was just standing there, minding my own business. My own business!

And, yes, I’m sure it was a wasp and not a bee. It didn’t look like this:

It looked like this:

All demented and angry and ****.

I had to cut the walk short, much to Jelly’s disappointment, and returned home to run the affected area under cold water, douse it with oregano oil and rubbing alcohol, and then downed a couple of advils and a benadryl. Nevertheless, my finger swelled up, turned a bright pink, and was extremely sensitive to touch. On the bright side, I did not experience dizziness, shortness of breath and/or death.

Ironically, I wasn’t the one scheduled to endure any sort of pain today. That was Akemi who had a wisdom tooth removed this afternoon.

She was in and out of the dentist’s office in less than fifteen minutes and, I’m pleased to report, is on the mend. According to the dental assistant, when she gets hungry, she should eat something soft and preferably not hot. So, ice cream dinner it is!

Continuing our trip down Atlantis memory lane:

QUARANTINE (413)

A “bottle episode” is a cost-saving episode that limits its scope to our established characters and sets while also making equally limited use of visual effects. After Be All My Sins Remember’d, we really needed one of these to get us back on track budget-wise. More often than not, the action in a bottle episode centers on our heroes, trapped and isolated, attempting to reverse the conditions that landed them in their difficult circumstances. When done well, bottle episodes can be engaging and entertaining, shedding light on our characters as they open up to one another in closed confine conversations. When done poorly – well, there’s not need to discuss that since Quarantine did it well, throwing together some unlikely pairings (Ronon and Keller, Carter and Zelenka) and delivering an episode that, while inexpensive to produce, offered humor, suspense, and insight into our characters. It also granted an opportunity to a most unlikely hero, Radek Zelenka, who ends up saving the day – following a terrific tumble out a vent.

Ah, how things may have gone had the circumstances been different. At the beginning of the season, Martin Gero pitched the idea of McKay becoming a dad. I liked the notion of Rodney having to balance fatherhood with his ongoing commitment to safeguarding the galaxy and we were giving some serious consideration to having him settle down with Katie Brown... But when Rachel informed us that she was pregnant, we elected to write her pregnancy into the show instead. There could only be room for one parent in season 4.

This creative shift also, curiously, had an effect on another storyline we’d been considering, a romantic arc that would have seen Ronon and Keller get together. In the end, it became a love triangle and, instead of Kellnon (or is it Roller?) we wound up with McKeller (or is it KellKay?).

Thoughts? Opinions? Did you prefer one pairing over another? Or would you have preferred no pairing at all?

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...-past-harmony/

September 20, 2012

Videos: Behind the scenes of Stargate: Atlantis' Harmony

Photos: Ashleigh, L’Eau, Stargate: Atlantis


Well, look who it is. Yes, it’s my former Stargate arch-nemesis Ashleigh (not to be confused with my former Transporter arch-nemesis Tara) and her adorable pug, L’Eau. I happened to be in Gastown, enjoying an afternoon stroll with my frenchie, Lulu, when I happened to spot our former Exec. Producers’ Assistant across the street. The last time I’d spoken to her was – well, we actually exchanged texts a couple of weeks ago. I invited her to lunch. She said she couldn’t make it but suggested an alternate date. I said great and waited for her follow-up text. Which never came. Clearly, she’s been VERY busy. What doing? Well, so far as I could discern, not all that much – certainly nothing that would trump having lunch with yours truly.

Anyway, we did some catching up. I suggested we get together for lunch next Friday. She informed me that Friday was no good for her but suggested an alternate date. She’ll get back to me.

Continuing our stroll down SGA memory lane...

HARMONY (414)

I loved this episode for many, many reasons. Carl Binder, Martin Gero, and I broke the story over the course of a fun-filled afternoon. We cast the wonderful Jodelle Ferland as Harmony and she was not only perfect for the role, but perfectly prepared. She not only knew all of her dialogue, but knew everyone else’s dialogue as well, occasionally prompting David and Joe whenever they forgot their lines. Much of the episode was shot at Widgeon Park – a lot of early mornings and late nights – with one of my favorite directors, the amazing Will Waring, calling the shots. It was the same location where the crew reported spotting a bear while shooting an episode of SG-1. Apparently, when Chris Judge got word of the sighting, he refused to come out of trailer. Guess you don’t see very many bears back on Chu’lak.

Thanks to the well-wishes on the wasp sting (and Akemi’s wisdom tooth extraction). I’m almost fully recovered (Akemi too). And thanks for the horrific dental surgery stories (Did I mention how much that wasp sting hurt? A lot!).

Today’s entry is dedicated to Janet’s daughter, Vicky. Get well soon! Today’s entry is also dedicated to the latest addition to Deni’s brood, Cody. Also, a dedication goes out to Hero Pig.

[Terra Atlantus]

HARMONY (414)

I loved this episode for many, many reasons. Carl Binder, Martin Gero, and I broke the story over the course of a fun-filled afternoon. We cast the wonderful Jodelle Ferland as Harmony and she was not only perfect for the role, but perfectly prepared. She not only knew all of her dialogue, but knew everyone else’s dialogue as well, occasionally prompting David and Joe whenever they forgot their lines. Much of the episode was shot at Widgeon Park – a lot of early mornings and late nights – with one of my favorite directors, the amazing Will Waring, calling the shots.

Good for them having fun while making the episode.

Too bad it didn't transferred to the finished product.

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...mory-of-kelly/

September 21, 2012


I awoke this morning and logged onto to this blog to find the following message awaiting moderation:
“Anne Teldy’s lil sisAnne and I wrote this two weeks ago. All typos or mispellings are mine. I had hoped not to have to post this for some time, but sadly…

Kelly Hurt, known on the Internet as Anne Teldy, passed away Thursday, September 20, 2012. She belonged to several discussion groups ranging in subject matter from books to size acceptance to her beloved Stargate Atlantis and made good friends through them.

Those online friends rallied around Kelly when she announced on her TV.com blog her hospitalization and subsequent move to a nursing home. They sent a flood of cards and gifts, cheering her greatly during her worst times.

Kelly’s favorite online activity was participating in the discussion at the blog of Stargate Atlantis writer/executive producer Joseph Mallozzi. Winning his “One Millionth Blog Visit” contest was the highlight of her life, she said, and she was nearly overwhelmed by the prizes: a Stargate SG-1 10th Anniversary watch and a character named after her on Stargate Atlantis. (Major Anne Teldy made her debut in the Fifth Season episode “Whispers”.)

Kelly was preceded in death by her father Roy. Hurt. She is survived by her mother, Marlett Hurt of Newburgh; a brother Richard Hurt of Evansville; sisters Kathleen Blizzard and Kerry Siniard both of Chandler as well as nieces and nephew Heather Schoch, Tony Hurt and Leah Hurt (U.B.) of Tennesse; nieces Amy Blizzard, Kristina Orange, and Katlynn Orange all of Chandler.

Funeral arrangements are pending at Alexander Funeral Home in Newburgh IN. In lieu of flowers, please send memorial contributions to the “Save Stargate Atlantis” Fund or the American Diabetes Association.

Kelly wished to express her especial gratitude to Sparkle and Puppet of Madison WI as well as to Joseph Mallozzi and his blog regulars (for the love of Beckett, skgraff, das, paloosa, sulien, maggiemayday, sheryl, and everyone) for all their friendship and support during her illness.”

As many of you know, Kelly was a longtime reader of this blog and a passionate Stargate fan. She’d been battling health issues for a while and it was only last week that we learned her condition had taken a turn for the worse. The news prompted me to write an entry in which I offered an overview of Kelly’s interactions with our little online community – her posts, her milestone achievement of being the 1 000 000th visitor here (which won her a Stargate SG-1 10th anniversary watch), the fact that she had a character named after her internet pseudonym, Anne Teldy (September 15, 2012: Our Major Teldy! Days of Stargate Atlantis Past! Be All My Sins Remember’d!). Although she was unwell, her comments were always positive and spirited. Some of my favorites included:
“Am I the only person who, on first seeing deeinsouthafrica’s little avatar/icon/picture thingy thought it was some strange internal organ?”


“Your blog never fails to make me laugh and, considering my health problems, etc., that means more to me than I can say. And, since content of posts has nothing to do with winning, you may rest assured I am sincere. Thanks.”


“I’ve gotten my 22 year-old-niece hooked on Stargate Atlantis by letting her borrow my DVDs. She hadn’t finished Season 3 when this season started but had by the time SciFi Channel ran the all-day Atlantis marathon. We watched it together over the phone with her calling me every commercial break. (I had to change batteries in my cordless. :-) ) We watched tonight’s episode together, too.”


“As to the first 3 pictures: I’m sorry, but that looks like an Asgard sex doll which makes Mr. Gero’s expression rather… uhm… creepy.” (January 15, 2008)


“Dear Cookie Monster,

Thank you so much for your email. Please let me know when the watch will be arriving so that I can rent a forklift.”


“I honestly can’t believe this. Thanks, Mr. M.! (The cash is on its way. Tens and twenties like we agreed.)

All kidding aside, this means more than I can possible convey in words. As I posted in one of my gabillion comments, I’m housebound and don’t have much to get excited about. Stargate Atlantis is the first thing in a long while that has “got my juices flowing” as my grandmother used to say.

It also got me wanting to interact with others. The regular commenters here, as well as yourself, Mr. M., have such great senses of humor that I get a laugh every time I come to the blog. It made me want to be a part of it, something that’s been quite alien to me lately.

Thank you again, Mr. M. Whether she’s eaten by space cows, killed by Sheppard in his stick-fighting episode, or dies of poor hygiene due to the lack of bathing facilities in Atlantis, I’m sure you’ll write a memorable death scene for my namesake.

Anne Teldy
PS: Please hold off shipping the watch until I get the floor reinforced.”


“I really wish I hadn’t looked up ‘Melena’. It was a beautiful name.”


“jan wrote:

If there was a fast food fly-in at Pegasus galaxy, would they serve special dishes for Wraith like a ‘Crispy Colonel’ or a ‘McKay’?

I’m thinking ‘Sheppard’s Pie’. ;-)“


“At last a bright spot in my imprisonment! A recently-hired nurse, John, is an SF fan! When he brings my 4 p.m. medicines (he uses a wheelbarrow ;-) )Stargate Atlantis is on SciFi and he usually stays and chats a while. He’s excited about knowing the real Anne Teldy.”


“I have to agree with your stance. I have never considered fruit “dessert”. However, the staff here does. It seems to have to do with something called ‘nutrition’. The concept of ‘nutrition’ is apparently defined as “when food is good for you but does not taste good”. They cooks here excel at nutrition.”


“Thanks again to all the regulars sending cards and letters. It really brightens my day when the staffer brings those little reminders that somebody out there likes me.”


“I was moping around in emotional misery this morning when the staffer came in with the mail. “You have a box!” she said in that annoyingly chipper voice of hers. After she left, I opened it to reveal manna direct from Heaven (or, in this case, Amazon.com) in the form of books — The Android’s Dreamand The Blade Itself — sent by Sylvia (skgraff) with the beginning discussion dates for each noted.”


“Mr. M, I again must ask for a blog dedication to honor one of your generous readers. Today, out of the blue, I received a box filled with CDs and a CD-player (batteries included!) from Paloosa.

Thank you, Paloosa! I can’t even begin to tell you how much this means to me. Some of the CDs are definite keepers and I look forward to exploring the music on the others.

And thank you to all who keep sending the spirit-lifting cards and letters. I’ve filled one bulletin board with them and am starting a second. They’re the first thing I see when I wake in the morning and they always make me smile.”


“The staffer woke me up this afternoon when she delivered a box with an air hole in it. It was from the Vermont Teddy Bear Company and contained my new teddy bear. She wears a white t-shirt with “Marines” in red on the front and “Major Anne Teldy” in black on the back. I sat rocking her and cried like a baby. (Of course, I cry like a baby quite often these days.) I can’t thank you enough for the gift.”


“A Personal Milestone: No Reply Needed; Skip if You Like

Since I’ve always been an avid reader, people often ask me to recommend good books to them. In June of 1994, as an aide to memory, I began to write down every book I read. Once I finish it, I record the title and author along with notations as to who among my reading acquaintances might best enjoy it.

I’m pleased to announce to all my friends that, after sixteen years, I have reached a personal milestone: as of this evening, Monday, the 5th of July, 2010, I have read 3,000 books! (This includes fiction and nonfiction, audiobooks and traditional, as well as rereads of favorite titles.) This works out to an average of 15.5 books per month. I’ve had three months in which I read 47 books, my personal best. Also, due to my poor health, I’ve had nine months in which I didn’t read a single book.

I can’t actually choose a favorite, but my most reread books are Jane Austen’s six, J K Rowling’s seven, and Helene Hanff’s 84 Charing Cross Road. As for worst, I once read an SF novel, Vurt, for which I noted “recommend to worst enemies only”. Of course, I could have been having a bad day. :-)“

Although I only knew her through the comments she posted to this blog, those posts, I thought, offered great insight into Kelly as a person, showing her to be warm, funny, an avid reader, and greatly appreciative of Stargate and her fellow fans.

She will be missed.

http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dig...1&locale=en-US

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/cou...91#fbLoggedOut

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...t-of-duckness/

September 22, 2012

Photos: Food


I’m sure it’s happened to you before. You’re sitting back, watching a show on Food Network or the Travel Channel, when a dish catches your eye. You track down the recipe, study it, then jot down the ingredients, determined to recreate it at home. The next day, you go to the grocery store and pick up the garlic, butter, pepper, sea salt, and thyme, and then swing by your local butcher only to be told they don’t have any fresh duck hearts. But maybe you might be interested in some frozen chicken hearts instead?

Seriously? The recipe is duck hearts on toast, not thawed chicken hearts on toast. You return home to swallow your bitter disappointment, along with an alternate dinner of pork belly, fried peppers, and radish and tomato salad.

Okay, granted, there may not be that much consumer demand for duck hearts, but I see duck breasts and legs on display so I have to wonder what they do with the hearts. And the rest of the innards (aka offal pronounced, appropriately enough to some, “awful”) for that matter.

There was a time when the consumption of animal organs was confined to those who simply couldn’t afford the finer cuts. But things have changed. In fact, you could say they’ve been completely upended. Nowadays, thanks to advancements made by the modern meat industry, most anyone can enjoy the choice cuts – or a reasonable facsimile thereof pressed into burger form, frozen, then flash fried for your convenience. Meanwhile, top chefs around the globe have discovered the versatility of such once-dodgy menu items as sweetbreads, lamb heart, pork cheek, and calf brain. Granted, these dishes aren’t for everyone but you might be surprised at the rising popularity of the likes of grilled beef tongue with mustard sauce or a fine cognac-laced rabbit liver pate. Last night, I was watching celebrity gourmand and world traveler Anthony Bourdain rave about one of the courses he’d been served at St. John Bread and Wine in London and I found myself thinking: “Yeah, that blood cake and fried egg DOES look delicious! The lucky bastard.”.

You know, it wasn’t long ago that I preferred my meat well done, my seafood cooked, and my squid in the mezzanine tank of my local aquarium. But times have changed and so have I. In some respects. And while you’ll never catch me bungee jumping or cave diving or dating a reality show contestant, there’s a chance you may come across me sitting down to some fugu shirako tempura, a plate of roasted bone marrow with parsley salad, or some crispy pig ear with salsa verde.

Just, apparently, not butter-fried duck hearts with thyme and garlic. Not anytime soon anyway.

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...tis-past-trio/

September 23, 2012

Videos: Behind the scenes of Stargate: Atlantis' Trio

Photos: Snow monkey, lunch, Lawren Bancroft-Wilson, Ivon Bartok, Lulu, books, Stargate: Atlantis, Martin Gero, Martin Wood


Whew! After two winless weeks in fantasy football league play, my Snow Monkeys appear poised to claim their first victory. Ivon’s team, The Running Dead, require a near miraculous performance by both his wide receivers to make up a big 49 point deficit. This win is, of course, huge for the defending champions who are looking to return to dominance – just as soon as Fred Jackson and Pierre Garcon come back from his injury, the Giants bench Ahmad Bradshaw, Drew Brees and Marques Colston start playing better ball, Jacquizz Rodgers shows more consistency, we pick up a bunch of better players and lose a bunch of bad ones, and, most important of all, catch some lucky breaks.

Today, lunch was provided by the aforementioned Mr. Bartok who prepared an exquisitely sweet and smokey slow-cooked pork served on corn tortillas accompanied by sweet onions, pickled carrots, and a blow-your-face-off spicy mix of jalapenos, cayenne and habanero peppers.

In addition to eating, we watched a little football – and spent quality time with the dogs.

So remember a couple of days ago when I asked you all for some mystery reading suggestions? I outlined not so much what I was looking for but what I wasn’t looking for (September 18, 2012: Recommend me a great mystery read! Days of Stargate Atlantis Past! Spoils of War!)? Sure you do. Anyway, those guidelines are pretty much out the window. Using the Mystery Writers of America list of the Top 100 Mystery Novels of All Time for inspiration, I picked up the following titles:

Clockwise from top left: 1930?smystery with a recurring detective character, a medieval mystery, a mystery with a recurring detective character, a post-WWII mystery, and a mystery set in the 1970?s. So, yes, pretty much exactly what I didn’t want. And, rounding out the selection, I stopped by my local second-hand book shop and picked up a few more:

Yeah, these should keep me busy for the next month or so.

Our walk down SGA memory lane continues with...

TRIO (416)

There wasn’t a whole lot of love for this episode when it first aired which was kind of surprising since I thought it a nice change of pace featuring three very stronger actors. We ended up redressing and using the gimbaled set that formerly played as the ship’s hold in Continuum. It was a tough, demanding shoot, especially for Amanda Tapping who, apparently, like me is not a huge fan of heights and was required to do a little high-wire performance. Trio had the placeholder title, Three’s Company, while we were developing the story (for obvious reasons) but before we sat down to spin it, there was some spirited debate about who should be trapped. We discussed various permutations: McKay and Carter, McKay and Keller, McKay and Carter and Keller. Finally, we decided the old fashion way: Survivor-style with Martin Gero playing the part of Jeff Probst reading out the secret ballots cast:

There were more laughs and fun working on this episode than any other.

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...iews-catwoman/

September 24, 2012

Photos: Catwoman


How can movie about sexy bendy girl who wear leather outfit and carry a whip not be good? How possible? Well, why not we run down pros and cons of Catwoman. Cons: crappy akting, stoopid skript, lame direktion, annoying music, terruble speshul effekts. Pros: Not longer den 104 minutes. Hmmmm. Monster tink we have our answer.

We introduced to main charakter, Patience Philips, who work at Cosmetic Firm for angry boss and his wife. Patience be very meek, very timid, clumsy, and not very good at climbing out on ledges and onto side of buildings (all dis ridikulously established in first twenty minutes of movie). One night, she drop by Cosmetic Firm R&D (in dis case, it stand for “rash” and “dopey”) to drop off work and happen to overhear scientist complaining about new cosmetic cream dat cause hideous physikal side effekts. He suggest company not sell it but boss’s wife overrule him. Why? Becuz cream be very addiktive and she see opportunity for company to make lots of money. How, exacktly, she expect company to make money AND survive inevitable consumer lawsuits and government investigation beats monster. But dese be questions for de sekwel.

Bad guys notice Patience and chase her through plant, shooting at her, den flushing her out into ocean along wit super-speshul cosmetic chemikal bath (?). She mostly dead but brought back to life. Luckily, cat know artificial respiration!

Patience go back home and, next morning, wake up and diskover she sleeping on shelf. Get it? She a cat! Dis first of many incredibly stoopid cat-gags. She hisses. Dogs bark at her. She wolf down sushi. She go crazy for catnip. She go to bar and order “White Russian. No ice, no vodka, no hold de Kahlua” and bartender hand her de drink: “Cream, straight up.” ”Cat got your tongue?”she say at one point. In another scene, we find her on her bed, licking cans of cat food. She turned into a cat! Get it?!

She suddenly posses cat-like powerz like having great balance, surviving falls, uh, climbing walls, errr, using a whip, and, hmmmm, playing basketball really really well (in a scene dat rival Daredevil/Elektra playground fight as one of cheesiest scenes in superhero movie history).

She steal motorcycle. She foil robbery (and steal jeweled necklace to make nails for her cat gloves). She strut along rooftops. All de while, incessant crakptakular music play. It be like sitting thru one seemingly endless Toni Braxton video.

She track down bad guy who shoot at her and, after doing sexy whip dance at club (?), she rough him up and he tell her about sekret cosmetic. She go to R&D lab and diskover scientist dead. But janitor find HER and she suspekted of murder!

Equally dumb sub-plot involve her romantik relationship wit detektive. Dey go to amusement park where ferris wheel screw up. Gears spinning out of control! What to do?! Detektive climb down from top of ferris wheel and stick wrench in gears to stop dem from turning (apparently, someting absolutely no one else on de ground capable of doing) while, up on ferris wheel, Patience use her cat quickness to save little kid. Why dis scene important? It not. What it add to movie? Absolutely nothing. It just feel like producers said “Hey, it been long time since someting actiony happen. Why no have her save kid on ferris wheel?”

Catwoman break into boss’s house and confronted by wife. She tell her she also suspekt hubby of general badness. Catwoman confront boss at theater (aka tell him he not very nice), den chased by cops including her detective boyfriend. Dey fight on CATwalk (me not tink dis accidental) den she lick and kiss his face before getting away.

On another date wit her detective boy, it start to rain and Patience run under awning becuz she hate rain (remember, she a cat! GET IT?!!!). Dis lead monster to remember dat cats not like water either meaning she probably not shower or bathe in a while. Dis not bother detective and he go back to her apartment and dey have music video sex during which she scratch his back (did me mention she a cat? You get it?). But, next morning, he discover jewel, part of her cat glove. He take glass she used back to de lab and match lipstick DNA on glass to lipstick on cheek where Catwoman kissed him. For real. It a 99.9% match!

Catwoman go back to boss’s mention and fine him dead. It turn out…boss’s wife kill him and frame Catwoman. Patience arrested and detective confront her in interrogation. She say she innocent but he throw her in jail anyway.

At dis point, screenwriter muster all his intelligence to come up wit de most brilliant metho of eskape, a method so clever and original me not ever seen it before. How does Patience eskape from prison? You ready for it? She eskape by…squeezing between de bars. For real!!!

She put costume back on and confront boss’s wife who, it turn out, have super powers becuz, uh, de cream disfigure people AND give dem super powers! How dat for a twist?! No good? Did me mention she eskape from prison cell by squeezing thru de bars? Detective injured and he say to her “I’m sorry. I should have trusted you all along.” Of course! All she did was lie to you about being a criminal. Why WOULDN’T you trust her?

Girl fight! Cue lame music! Cue lame dialogue! Boss’s wife: “It’s over.” Catwoman: “Guess what? It’s overtime!” Catwoman kick boss’s wife out window and she fall to her death. Den, she tell detective: “I may not be a hero, but I’m certainly not a killer.” Monster not so sure. Me guess kicking someone out a window to deir death be borderline.

Verdikt: Dis movie a CATastrophe. Get it it? She a cat!

Rating: 2 out of 10 chocolate chippee cookies.

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...-past-outcast/

September 25, 2012

Videos: Bubba, Behind the scenes of Stargate: Atlantis' Outcast

Photos: Jelly, Lulu, Stargate: Atlantis, Andy Mikita, Joe Flanigan, Kari Wuhrer, Bill Dow


Yep, them’s is diapers Jelly is wearing. She’s been having some issues, the result of an apparent bladder infection, so she’ll be sporting the velcro shorts for the rest of the week. You can tell she’s bummed because she was expecting something more stylish.

Lulu, meanwhile, has been prone to occasional vomiting. Well, semi-regular vomiting. She’s a serial vomiter.

And, finally, there’s Bubba who is fit and ready to go. REALLY ready to go:

Continuing our reminiscing on Stargate: Atlantis’s fourth season. Yes, I skipped one...

OUTCAST (415)

Actor Joe Flanigan came to us with a story idea. He wanted to do an episode in which Sheppard teams up with Ronon to hunt an escaped human-form replicator on Earth. That intriguing notion resulted in Outcast, an episode that not only saw Sheppard and Ronon teaming up to hunt down an escaped human-form replicator on Earth, but also allowed us a rare opportunity to explore Sheppard’s backstory. I love episodes that allow us fresh insight into our characters and, for that reason, Outcast stands out as one of my favorites of the show’s fourth season.

The character of Nancy, played by Kari Wuhrer, was briefly considered as a possible candidate to succeed Samantha Carter as commander of the Atlantis expedition.

The winner of a walk-on role appears at the buffet line scene early in the episode, smiling amiably as Ronon loads up.

Our fearless stunt coordinator, James “Bam Bam” Bamford took it upon himself to execute the crazy replicator high fall escape in the middle of the episode. Crazy.

U.F.O.:

The replicator plunge:

[Jumper_One]

http://josephmallozzi.wordpress.com/...s-past-midway/

September 26, 2012

Photos: Joe Mallozzi, Lulu, Dark Matter, Stargate: Atlantis


My writing partner, Paul, came over for Day #2 of our spinning session for the new pilot script we’re working on. Next to starting a script and, perhaps, passing a kidney stone, there’s nothing more painful than outlining a story, especially in those first few days. Ideas are pitched. They’re shot down. The story is discussed in the vaguest of terms. Plenty of questions are asked; hardly any answers given. Frustration mounts. Breaks are taken. The conversations go off on unusual tangents. And, all the while, we sit, staring at the big white board. It looms before us, intimidating in its pristine perfection – unblemished, not a magic markered stroke to mar its clean surface. We could break the ice by jotting down a title but doing so would necessitate a task even more daunting than breaking the story: actually coming up with a title!

And so we sit. And think. And wait. As if the creativity will eventually get fed up with our procrastination and suddenly manifest itself in a bright, colorful burst of act breaks, suspenseful beats, and a brilliant end of episode solution to the supernatural manifestation.

Yes, writing is a painful business. Positively excruciating at the spinning, breaking, outline, script and rewrite stages. But incredibly satisfying when you complete work on a first draft. And, to be honest, that satisfaction only lasts as long as it takes you to type in FADE OUT and deliver the script. Savor it!

But today, we did manage some progress. Three solid acts, albethey peppered with TBD’s (a writerly term for “to be decided”, those annoying little speed bumps that slow down the process and inevitably get shuttled away for later consideration, usually sometime between lights out and REM sleep). What is our Holy **** third act break? I’m sure Paul will come up with something.

Hey, this afternoon I dropped by my local comic book shop to pick up the latest issues of Iron Man, The Ultimates, The Punisher, and an intriguing new title, Rose & Thorn, and noticed THIS sitting amongst the new releases:

Joseph Mallozzi and Paul Mullie, writers on Stargate, from SG1 through to SGU, bring their latest science fiction epic to comics in Dark Matter. The six-person crew of a derelict spaceship awakens from stasis in the farthest reaches of space. Their memories wiped clean, they have no recollection of who they are or how they go on board. The only clue to their identities is a cargo bay full of weaponry and a destination-a remote mining colony that is about to become a war zone! With no idea whose side they are on, they face a deadly decision. Will these amnesiacs turn their backs on history, or will their pasts catch up with them?

Dark Matter Volume 1: Rebirth

Yep, it’s the trade paperback collecting all four issues of the first chapter of SF Dark Matter, our comic book series. I didn’t expect it to come out until October (Thanks for the heads up, guys!).

Some reviews: Dark Matter: Rebirth Graphic Novel is Solid Sci-Fi Fun – Examiner.com, Sequel’s Blog: Dark Matter Vol. 1: Rebirth TPB – Review!, and Dark Matter Vol. 1 Review (On the one hand, they spell my name incorrectly; on the other hand, they had nice things to say about the book).

Speaking of Dark Matter, our attempts to get it to the small screen progress. We have broadcaster interest but now require the money to do it properly. One of our partners has some meetings lined up at MIPCOM (MIPCOM – The world’s entertainment content market – MIPWorld) and, if they go well (and fingers crossed), we’ll have a solidly budgeted 13-episode first season of our twisty, turny, suspenseful, high-flying, humorous, character-driven, scifi action space opera.

Continuing our trip down Stargate Atlantis memory lane. Let’s reflect back on:

MIDWAY (417)

Who would win in a fight between Teal’c and Ronon? Well, if you ask Chris Judge (which I once did) he’d reply: “Ronon. Teal’c is still doing that wushu ****.” Still, we weren’t satisfied with that answer and so, Carl Binder put pen to paper finger to keypad and wrote this all-out actioner in which Ronon and Teal’c team up to battle a wraith incursion. And also throw down. And who wins? Why, it’s a draw, natch.

Early in show’s fourth season, we wanted to do a scene with Carter, back at Stargate Command, leaving behind the life she knew for a fresh adventure in the Pegasus Galaxy. We wanted to scene to be grounded in the world of SG-1 and felt that the best way to accomplish that would be for Sam to have a conversation with one of her SG-1 teammates. I approached Chris Judge about doing it but told him we wouldn’t be able to afford his episode rate for the single scene. Chris just shrugged in response and happily offered his services for a nominal fee. I thought that was a stand-up thing to do and this episode was a repayment for that kindness, an episode guest-starring Teal’c. And, yes, Chris got his full episode rate for this one.

Jason Momoa and Christopher Judge had a blast shooting the episode, especially the action sequences. And there were plenty. The episode also boasts some terrific guest stars like Bill Dowd, Dean Marshall and Ben Cotton who return to reprise familiar roles.

Today’s entry is dedicated to luvnjack. Good luck with the adoption caseworker tomorrow. Hope you land in a good home!