Joseph Mallozzi's Blog! (SPOILERS For All SG Shows and Dark Matter)

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August 31, 2012

Photo: Alice in Wonderland


Off to dinner with Ivon and Tio tonight to discuss – what else? – football! Our fantasy football season kicks off tomorrow when our league (Vancouver Unite) holds its 2012 draft. As you all know, my Snow Monkeys are 2011 league champions looking to defend the title. I’ve done my research and plan to spend most of tonight and tomorrow morning going over the stats and making adjustments to my player rankings. So, any suggestions? Sleepers? Duds? Should I be drafting a QB first?

Today’s blog entry is dedicated to all those who took the time to write about or post pics of their beloved pets in yesterday’s comment section. And, by the way, my sister greatly appreciates all the well-wishes sent Aspen’s way.

Some news of note:

Imagine an alternate universe where Thunderbird took Wolverine’s place on the X-Men and Spock had less screen time than that whiney Chekov: 7 Iconic Characters They Saved from The Cutting Room Floor

Almost a candidate for the Darwin Awards: Man almost dies after mailing himself to girlfriend ”I didn’t realize it would take so long,” said Seng in a Daily Mail article. “I tried to make a hole in the cardboard but it was too thick and I didn’t want to spoil the surprise by shouting.”

19 Unintentionally Terrifying Children’s Album Covers

Relax. You’re in good hands with our trained flight crew: ANA pilots unaware for 17 seconds that plane was almost turning …

It all makes sense now. My great grandfather was addicted to the internet too! Addicted to the internet? It could be all in your genes

Apparently there’s been a marked drop in demand for condos located near active super volcanoes: ‘Super volcano’ could kill millions near site of Pompeii

Chocolate linked to reduced risk of stroke — in men Which is why I’ve replaced Gatorade with a chocolate shake as my post-work out drink.

What, in your opinion, was the singular saddest moment in Stargate history? The moment, above all others in the franchise’s 300+ episode run, that had you crying so hard you scared your dog? What was THE most bawlworthy moment? Was it Daniel’s ascension? Janet’s surprise death? Young’s gut wrenching mercy killing of Riley? Or was it Beckett’s farewell? I want to know. Cast your vote – and leave a comment on the poll page – for a chance to win a signed script!

Hunh. Here’s something interesting. Of those top ten heartbreaking moments, one was written by Carl Binder (Epilogue), one by Martin Gero (Sunday), one by Paul Mullie and me (The Last Man) and the remaining seven were written by Robert C. Cooper. Seven out of ten! Next Comic Con, I’m going to make a tidy profit selling “ROBERT COOPER MADE ME CRY” t-shirts.

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September 1, 2012

Video: Pugs

Photos: Fantasy football league, snow monkeys, Joe Mallozzi


Finally! Today was the day our fantasy football league, Vancouver United, gathered for our fantasy football draft. It looks like my team, the Snow Monkeys, will have its work cut out for it as it faces off against fourteen other tough teams. Well, thirteen tough teams plus the ragtag assortment of players Tio will manage to assemble every week.

After staying up late last night going over my stats, I woke up early this morning – to go over my stats – then opened up my three laptops, pulled out my research documents, and counted down. Our draft positions were randomly generated thirty minutes before the draft, so there was no way to prepare – well, short of over-preparing which is what I did, running some three hundred different simulations that saw me drafting at all fourteen spots. If there was one thing I discovered, it was that I didn’t want to end up drafting in the #5-7 position. #1-4 and I would draft one of the top three RB’s. #8-14 and I would have a shot at a couple of fairly strong runners as well. Of course, as it turned out, I ended up with the 6th pick.

The draft began at 11:00 a.m. sharp. VFX Supervisor Mark Savela (The Savela Skitterers) had the first pick and my buddy Tio, who must be commended for attempting to field a team made up entirely of quarterbacks, had the last pick. Inside that hour and a half, I snapped up some great players, missed out on a few I’d had my eye on, and even landed a couple of potential sleepers.

Here are my new look Snow Monkeys:

QB: Drew Brees

RB: Fred Jackson

RB: Doug Martin

WR: Dwayne Bowe

WR: Marques Colston

TE: Jared Cook

R/W/T: Mark Ingram

K: Ryan Succop

D: Atlanta Falcons

Bench

RB: Jacquizz Rodgers

WR: Pierre Garcon

WR: Austin Collie

WR: Greg Little

WR: Jon Baldwin

WR: Justin Blackmon

In the end, I had to draft one of the top tier quarterbacks and I’m very happy with Brees. Regardless of the vendetta against them, the Saints will be a powerhouse this year. Which is why I also picked up the scoring machine Marques Colston and lead Saints back Mark Ingram who should assume most goal line rushing duties. A very solid offensive line will make the Chiefs much improved, which means another great year for Bowe and possible breakout status for Baldwin.

Speaking of breakout status, speedy Justin Blackmon has already become a favorite of QB Blaine Gabbart in Jacksonville and he looks to have plenty of upside. Our opening week match-up will no doubt see me crush Tio’s team, the woefully undermanned Crossplane. Fred Jackson was well on his to a rushing title last season before breaking his leg. He’s on the mend and gets another shot this year. Meanwhile, rookie Doug Martin assumes lead rushing duties on a Bucs squad that also boasts a pretty solid o-line. I went with a couple of #1 receivers, and a tight end, on teams with new quarterbacks that should be throwing their way plenty: Pierre Garcon, Greg Little, and Jared Cook.

My biggest reach was Atlanta runningback Jacquizz Rodgers but, with Michael Turner slowing down, the pass-catching Rodgers coming out of the backfield presents a terrific opportunity for the pass-happy Falcons. The only pick I’m unsure of is Colts receiver Austin Collie. Hopefully, he develops some kind of rapport with first year QB Andrew Luck. Finally, as for the kicker and defense – there’s no way to tell at the beginning of the season so I just rolled the dice and will wait and see.

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree? Don’t know what the hell I’m talking about? The last time I talked football with my friends, Akemi had this to say: “It sounds like you’re speaking English, but I don’t understand anything!”

As a reward for all those non-football fans who nevertheless read through the above post, here is video from this summer’s last soft serve outing with the dogs:

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September 2, 2012

Photos: Ivon Bartok, Sarah, steaks, dinner, desserts, salad, Akemi’s “happo sai”


Last night, Ivon came over with fifteen pounds of meat. Now, normally, the writer in me would be instantly suspicious of a friend who just happened to show up on my doorstep with a bag full of red meat that needed eating, but in this case Ivon paved the way with a (suspicious?) story about placing an order with a farm that raises organic, grass-fed livestock. He’d informed me he was scheduled to pick up his order at around 6:00 p.m. and suggested he and his girlfriend, Sarah, could swing by and taste test the meat at my place.

I said “Sure!”, swung by the farmers market and picked up some accompaniments – fresh carrots for Akemi’s honey-roasted carrot dish, fresh sungold tomatoes, lemon cukes, garlic, and basil for a nice end of summer salad, and an assortment of fresh desserts from French Made Baking.

Ivon and Sarah arrived at around 6:30, meat in tow. We decided to sample four cuts:

My preferred preparation method involves heavily salting the meat and letting it sit for an hour to break down the tissue, then rinse it off, pat it dry, season with pepper and thyme, then sear in a cast iron pan for two minutes aside before topping it with more thyme, crushed garlic, and butter and popping it into the oven for ten minutes to finish. Alas, the fact that the steaks were frozen solid put a bit of a crimp in those pans. And so, instead, I looked up a recipe for searing frozen steaks. According to the adherents of this method, frozen steaks actually sear better than room temperature steaks. After searing, the steaks are popped into the oven for thirty minutes to an hour at fairly low heat (250 degrees) and then served to a perfect, buttery medium-rare.

The steaks seared nicely and, as per the instructions, I popped them into the oven at 250 degrees. After about twenty minutes, we checked the meat. It was still raw inside. Patience may be a virtue but hunger trumps everything so we ratcheted up the oven to 350 degrees, waited another fifteen and -

The meat was very good, the tenderloin in particular, but I think we did it a disservice by rushing it along. Some day, I’d like to prepare them, unfrozen, with my salt and sear method.

Everyone has their version of the perfect steak. Would love to hear yours.

Since we’re on the topic of perfecting cooking methods, here are a couple of pics of Akemi and my recent attempts at souffle:

Inspired by a recent episode of Master Chef (Can I just say how much I hate it when eliminated contestants are given the opportunity to return to the competition? It gives them an unfair advantage over every chef that is eliminated moving forward, every other chef who DIDN’T luck out with a second chance. But this is a topic for another blog rant), Akemi and I set out to try our hands at the difficult dish, baking up four versions: Savory Cheese, Blueberry, Cherry, and Chocolate.

Surprisingly, the cheese – while the ugliest – was the tastiest. The chocolate was first runner up because, while slightly dried out, it turned out better than the undercooked fruit souffles.

Work continues on perfecting our souffle recipes.

We’re also working on perfecting our pork belly recipes. The other day, we tried a Gordon Ramsay version that involved slow roasting the pork belly, pressed it, refrigerating it overnight, then slicing it up and finishing in the oven to crispy doneness.

As much as I loved the crispy top, I found the meat too tough, nestled between layers of fat that hadn’t rendered properly. We still prefer a version Akemi makes (she calls it “Winnie the Pooh Pork”) that sees it braised for several hours in a soy, honey, orange and balsamic vinegar-based sauce.

Sometimes, simple is best. Like this simple salad comprised of sweet sungolds, fresh basil, burrata cheese, Arbequina olive oil, and sea salt.

And, finally, a taste of Japan. Akemi’s “happo sai”: nappa cabbage, ****ake mushrooms, pork, carrots, and quail eggs in a chicken broth-based stew.

Last chance to vote (and most importantly, leave a comment on the poll page to win a signed script) for The Most Heartbreaking Moment in Stargate History:

Our Supermovie of the Week Club resumes tomorrow as this blog’s resident film critic, Cookie Monster, returns to offer his take on Ang Lee’s The Hulk (2003). Monster has been uncharacteristically generous of late, doling out high cookie praise for movies like X-Men, X2: X-Men United, and Spiderman while demonstrating more typical disdain for recent stinker Daredevil. How will The Hulk fare? Tune in to tomorrow’s blog episode to find out.

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September 3, 2012

Video: Hellboy trailer

Photos: The Hulk


At one point during movie, monster get so enraged he charge into food court and start smashing, stomping, screaming, and trowing Sbarro pizza toppings at frightened children when – Oh, sorry. Dis not scene from movie The Hulk. Dis was Cookie Monster’s REACTION to movie The Hulk, one of de most tortuously long and plodding superhero movies me have reviewed so far. Ang Lee direkts dis film like a 70?s t.v. show, wit so many cheezy wipes and split screens monster feel like he watching an old episode of Streets of San Francisco. Lame dialogue not do much to dispel dis illusion. Only moments it not look like a 70?s t.v. show be during extended CG/visual effects sekwences – when it look like a lame videogame.

So, direkton, skript, and CG be crap. What else you got?

How about: contrived story, stoopid developments, and one giant useless subplot involving skeevy-looking Nick Nolte (playing skeevy-looking father of Hulk) and his dogs.

Movie begin in what look like (appropriately enuf) de 70?s where scientist David Banner (wit cheezy pornstar mustache) do sekret experiments on his son, Bruce. Years later, Bruce grown up and he too is scientist, working wit his hot ex-girlfriend fellow scientist, Betty.

Sorry. Me can accept sekret experiment dat turn human into raging green monster. Me can even accept fakt dat Bruce Banner’s stretchy shirts and socks rip off when he changes into Hulk while non-stretchy pants do not. But me have have major problem accepting a nerd like Bruce Banner have hot ex-girlfriend dat look like Jennifer Connelly.

Movie peppered wit so many bizarre moments, monster would have to make dis a two-part review to cover dem all. For instants, when Betty leaving lab one night and notice creepy-looking new janitor, she ask: “Where’s Benny?” Creepy janitor inform her: “Benny’s dead.” Any normal, non-psycopatik human at dis point would say someting like: “Dat’s terrible.” or “I’m sorry to hear it.” or at least be shocked or saddened by news dat “Benny’s dead”. Instead, she respond: “Pleased to meet you.” Pleased to meet you? Pleased to meet you?!!! Moving on…

Another bizarre moment come when Bruce moping over Betty. He pull out photo of dem together and, suddenly, photo come alive and become window into flashback. In flashback, Betty tell Bruce about someting dat happened to her when she was young – at which point we go into another flashback. A flashback INSIDE a flashback. What de Fudgee-o?

Next day, back in de real world, experiment go awry and Bruce blasted wit nano-mats(?). But he bounce back and in fine shape. In fact, even better shape dan before. It turn out dat nano-metes PLUS experiments dat his father subjected him to changed Bruce. He turn into Hulk and trash lab in scene reminiscent of de most mediocre of video game sekwences.

Despite being incredibly destruktive, Hulk never kill anyone in dis sopomorik movie. At one point, he cause helicopter to crash. Seconds later, pilot radio everyone be a-okay. It like, suddenly, me watching de A-Team t.v. series!

But den, a couple of scenes later, me suddenly watching a low-rent Pixar knock-off when Hulk attacked by mutant dogs (led by hilariously creepy gamma poodle). Hoo boy. And dis movie not even close to over.

More stoopidities abound:

Creepy janitor somehow gets access to trashed lab’s top sekret contents. How? Becuz he works dere. How did he get job? Well, me assume he passed de rigorous screening process. Well, as rigorous a screening process as possible considering de guy travels to and from work wit a pack of dogs.

Bruce put in containment chamber and transforms into hulk. Containment container is breached. How? Does Hulk use his super strength to break it? No. It spring a leak. It breached by water displacement!

Wait. Monster take back de fakt dat nobody die in dis movie. Somebody does die – de stereotypikal businessman – who killed (for reazon me still not understand) and blown up in ridikulous shot dat have him flying thru de air and den freeze before shot consumed by fire.

General Thunderbolt Ross order all out attack on Hulk. Hulk smashing tanks. Army shooting at Hulk. It look like it going to be one messy massive climactic battle – until General notice Hulk making googoo eyes at Betty. So he order his troops to stand down and send his daughter to confront crazy monster alone. Confronted wit Betty, Bruce lose his raging Hulk-on.

De End.

No, wait! Me forgot about useless subplot involving creepy janitor who turn out to be Bruce’s crazy scientist father who used equipment leftover from lab thrashing to transform himself into mutant absorbing man. And so, audience have to sit thru interminable tacked-on extra half hour ending in which Bruce Hulk battle Father mutant in darkly lit sekwence where impossible to figure out what de hell be going on.

Seriously! Your movie be 138 minutes long! Why dis subplot at all necessary? Lose 20 minute sekwence of father experimenting on Bruce off de top, lose creepy janitor, lose goofy gamma dogs, lose useless second ending and just have accident in lab be cause of Hulk. And voila. Instead of unbearable two and a half hour movie you let wit somewhat less irritating film dat run a more or less watchable 90 minutes!

But Cookie Monster not writer/producer, so what me know?

Verdikt: If dis movie was a frat house, it be Pi Krappa Gamma.

Rating: 2 out of 10 chocolate chippee cookies.

Please diskuz!

Next week Supermovie of de Week Club selektion:

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September 4, 2012

Video: The Midway station sequence, chasm jump, firing drones

Photos: Stargate: Atlantis, David Nykl


2007 marked the year Paul Mullie and I took over as showrunners for Atlantis’s fourth season. It also marked my first full year of blogging. As a result, some of these look-backs will be a little more involved, starting with...

ADRIFT (401)

The episode opens with a frenzied shot of the medical team wheeling a seriously injured Elizabeth down the corridor and into the infirmary. It was so frenzied, in fact, that no one noticed there was a camera man in the shot until well into post-production. In the original version the shot starts on the Weir’s gurney and various medical equipment being wheeled in and by – except that, unbeknownst to us at first, one of those pieces of medical equipments happened to be a camera men. It was while we were watching one of the cuts that Martin Gero noticed. He rewound, played, paused and, sure enough, there was our phantom invisible camera man, suddenly very visible in the frozen frame. Oops.

Out visual effects supervisor, Mark Savela, and his team were nothing short of amazing, following up our VFX-laden season three finale with this visually spectacular season opener. About a year after the episode aired, Mark swung by the blog to do a little Q&A (check it out here: July 24, 2008: Stargate Atlantis Visual Effects Supervisor Mark Savela answers your questions. And he brought treats!). Among the visuals he forwarded me for inclusion in the entry were a couple of videos I wasn’t able to upload at the time, specifically...

We open on Samantha Carter effortlessly floating through the Midway station as she works with Dr. Lee. The smoothness of Carter’s movement was achieved by pulling her along on a skateboard (don’t know if we borrowed Joe’s longboard for that one).

And the sequence itself – the Midway station wasn’t actually constructed until later that season. The impressive station environment was actually created by our VFX department. Check it out:

Then there was the big EVA chasm jump Sheppard and Zelenka execute to repair the damaged stardrive’s control crystals, one of my favorite VFX sequences in Stargate history. And it all started with those bulky (and stifling hot) space suits...

The sequence was shot on our largest stage, what we referred to as the VFX Stage, which was home to the village set, some Atlantis interiors, and the hive ship.

Again, the virtual environment of the chasm, the destruction, and the facing building are achieved through the magic of green screen:

And then there’s the sequence in which puddle jumpers fly ahead to take out the approaching asteroids. Rodney proves himself amazingly adept -

But, of course, he had a lot of help from Mark Savela and co. A few stages of the development of this sequence:

This was the Torri Higginson’s first episode back as a guest star and it was very difficult and demanding, requiring her to spend much of the episode immobilized for her character’s brain surgery. We, of course, didn’t shave the actress’s head for the sequence, instead using a bald cap. After the nanites save Elizabeth’s life, there was only the briefest of discussions on her post-operative physical appearance. They would have shaved her head for brain surgery so it stood to reason that Elizabeth would come back bald, no? Well, no. Fortunately, this is science fiction and one could argue that, if the nanites could repair her physically, they could also regrow her hair.

A lot of great scenes in this episode but, for me, the most memorable remains the one in which Ronon speaks to the unconscious Weir, thanking her for all she’s done for him. It’s a rare, vulnerable moment for Atlantis’s resident bullheaded warrior and one that resonates for that very reason. A wonderful performance on the part of actor Jason Momoa.

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September 5, 2012

Photos: Snow monkeys, poll results, Stargate: Atlantis, the Save Carson Beckett campaign, sign, Carl Binder, Andy Mikita, puddle jumper


Look out! My Snow Monkeys are back and gunning for their second consecutive Fantasy Football league championship. The season kicks off tonight but things will really get interesting on Sunday when I’ll be hosting an all-day football fest and feast. And, since I’m hosting, it falls on me to put together a schedule for the day. I was thinking we could start with a few relay races, then move on to the scavenger hunt, some charades, an egg toss and then, time permitting, watch some football. I also have to do a little menu planning and, to that end, I’ve been scouring some recipes from Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. I’m thinking Philly Cheesesteaks on focaccia (and maybe a roast chicken variation). Thoughts? Am I going with American, cheddar, or Swiss cheese? I don’t want to end up having the wrong choice cost me the election like John Kerry. Thoughts? Anybody out there have a surefire Philly Cheesesteak recipe?

Hey! We’ve moved on to Atlantis’s fourth season as part of our ongoing Days of Stargate Past reminiscences. Over on Gateworld, they’re also doing a season 4 rewatch. Head on over here for the details (Stargate Rewatch: Atlantis Season Four We’re rewatching Atlantis’s fourth season all through September — part of the Stargate Rewatch! #SGRewatch) then over here (this forum thread) to submit nominations in the categories of Best Episode, Best Sheppard Moment, Best McKay Moment, Best Teyla Moment, Best Ronon Moment, Best Carter Moment, Best Keller Moment, Best Team Moment, Best Alien Race, Best Individual Villain, Coolest Ancient Technology, Coolest Alien Technology, Best SG-1 Crossover, and Best Guest Star.

Oh, and speaking of voting, the results are in for The Most Heartbreaking Moment in Stargate History:

Hunh. I’m surprised. Not that the death of Janet Fraiser won the poll, but that it won so handily, easily doubling Daniel’s goodbye in Meridian. I suppose that, placed in the context of the series as a whole, it makes sense since, even though he did ascend, Daniel’s goodbye wasn’t a final farewell.

Anyway, as promised, we have some lucky winners, both of whom have won some signed scripts. And they are:

Becky Truitt

and

Alex Valentine

Leave a comment in this entry’s comment section with your email (fear not, it won’t be published) and Stargate Command will be in touch.

Continuing our stroll down memory lane...

LIFELINE (403)

What I found particularly interesting about this episode was not so much what was going on in front of the camera, or behind the camera, but way over on the other side of the lot beyond the security fence. I’m talking about -

Yes, this was the year fandom galvanized for the Save Carson Beckett Campaign which culminated in a demonstration outside the Bridge Studios in support of the good (dead) doctor. As far as demonstrations go, it was well-organized, spirited and, ultimately, successful. They DID save Carson Beckett!

As for the episode itself, it was another Carl Binder masterpiece. Carl had wanted to a heist episode for a while and Lifelife offered him the opportunity with the team infiltrating the Asuran homeworld in order to get their hands on a desperately needed ZPM. They succeed, but at a great cost when they are forced to leave Elizabeth behind. Jennifer Keller, meanwhile, cements her position as the new CMO while Samantha Carter takes over command of the Atlantis expedition.

Anybody else watch the season 5 finale of Breaking Bad? I mean do we really have to wait until next summer to find out how it all ends? Really?

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September 6, 2012

Video: Bullet to the Head trailer

Photos: Philly Cheesesteak, Stargate: Atlantis, Amanda Tapping, Jason Momoa, Mark Dacascos, Will Waring, the wraith set, Michael C. Blundell


Well damn. Little did I realize the firestorm reaction I would elicit when I mentioned that I would be making Philly Cheesesteaks this weekend and serving them in focaccia. Apparently, there are some Philly Cheesesteak purists among this blog’s readership who would sooner smack me upside the head than eat a Philly Cheesesteak with focaccia. They have made it clear that a Philly Cheesesteak is NOT served on focaccia. Nor is it made with anything but shaved rib eye. As for the cheese, I can take my pick between provolone, American, Cheese Wiz and, in extreme cases, mozzarella. Apparently, there is some leeway on the toppings. Fried/grilled onions are standard but, in some circumstances (not clearly detailed), green peppers, hot peppers, and even mushrooms are acceptable. The addition of tomatoes, lettuce, ketchup, hot sauce and even mayo remains a highly contentious issue.

Got it! Thanks or the outraged input. I’m going traditional this Sunday. Nevertheless, I might put the focaccia on the side and look the other way.

Continuing our trip down Atlantis memory lane...

REUNION (403)

This one was a memorable for a number of reasons, but chiefly for actor Jason Momoa’s dedication to the material. Understand, Jason always did a great job on the show but, in episodes like these in which we explored Ronon’s backstory, he always worked especially hard, studying the script, asking the right questions, making suggestions, and then throwing himself wholeheartedly into his role (literally throwing himself as, at one point during production, he jumped out of the gate and scraped the hell out of his arm). He was always very passionate and committed, especially to those very demanding fight sequences that saw him acquire some pretty remarkable skills in a relatively short period of time under the guidance of our fantastic Stunt Coordinator James “Bam Bam” Bamford. In fact, check out the trailer for Stallone’s new movie (at the end of this write-up – just skip ahead to the 2:00 mark) in which Jason plays the bad guy. That’s some nifty axe work!

This episode was also notable for the appearance of Mark Dacascos (Brotherhood of the Wolf, The Crowd, Iron Chef America) who had been recommended for a part on SG-1 by actor Ben Browder. I was a big fan of Mark’s work and, for that reason, didn’t cast him on SG-1 because he would have played the role of a Jaffa who ended up dying at episode’s end. Instead, I kept him in mind and, after this script was written, immediately thought of him for Tyre. And, he was perfect – likable (which made his turn all the more shocking) and a seasoned martial artist (his fight scenes were terrific). In an early incarnation of the story, Ronon kills all of his former friends but I had a change of heart after casting Mark. He was not only great as Tyre but simply a great guy as well, very well-liked by the crew. All the more reason to write a sequel the following season (Broken Ties) and have him back for a little revenge and redemption.

I’ve spoken extensively about this episode in past blog posts so, rather than repeat what has already been said, allow me to direct you here (October 13, 2007) for a rundown of my thoughts on the episode, covering everything from scheduling conflicts, my favorite scene (the Ronon/Sheppard talk), and the loss of my favorite line: “Who’s Hootie now?”.

More goodies here (October 14, 2007) in the form of scenes and excerpts that didn’t make the cut.

BTW, that garish painting Ronon had up in his room adorned my office for that entire year. I always wondered where it wound up. I can only assume it was purchased at auction by some discerning art collector.

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September 7, 2012

Videos: Gelatin cubes dropped onto solid surface High Speed Video, Solar eruption

Photos: Stargate: Atlantis


Cool, huh? High speed video of gelatin cubes being dropped onto a hard surface via http://www.modernistcuisine.com/

Well now, isn’t this interesting: Internet Video Contributes To Second Straight Decline In TV Households. “Nielsen is working with its clients on the evolution of the current definition of a TV household and a TV device for their ratings services, potentially qualifying video content delivered to a TV via the Internet,” the company says. That’s nice. Get right on that whole digital revolution thing before it really takes off.

Elderly couple cleaned out of all their worldly possessions following break in. Individuals responsible won’t face any jail time because they said it was a terrible mistake. Oh, and they’re a major bank. Owners Lose Possessions After Home Near Twentynine Palms Is Mistakenly Foreclosed

ESPN ranks the best (and worst) sports franchises in 2012, taking into account such variables as Bang for Buck, Fan Relations, Ownership, Affordability, Stadium Experience, Players, Coaching, and Title Track. Coming in at the very bottom (122nd spot?) – well, let’s just say we should make sure my buddies and former Toronto natives Rob and Ivon don’t see this: http://espn.go.com/sportsnation/teamrankings#table

HD solar eruption compliments of the gang at NASA:

And our trip down Atlantis memory lane continues with...

DOPPLEGANGER (404)

When Paul and I took over as show runners for the show’s fourth season, a lot of fans wondered where Brad Wright and Robert Cooper were going. The answer: nowhere. They remained involved in the show’s creative, helping to break stories, write scripts and, in Rob’s case, direct and produce the occasional episode. This one was a lot of fun for all involved. For Joe in particular because he got to play a bad guy, something all actors love to do – unless they’ve made a career playing bad guys in which case they want to play the part of the hero.

I’m sure it was also a blast for Rob who really went all out with the fantasy sequences, drawing on some of his own childhood fears for inspiration. The whale nightmare, for instance, was no doubt influenced by Jaws, a movie Rob saw when he was admittedly way too young to appreciate the nuances of a man-eating shark. It apparently haunted him for years but, on the bright, help shape him into the fine storyteller he is today. There’s also an homage to one of the creepiest scenes in an SF movie ever when the creature bursts out of Teyla’s stomach a la Alien. This scene apparently earned the episode a “15? age restriction on the dvd release, which is kind of interesting given that the original scene was A LOT more visceral and ended up being toned down for air. I also had to laugh at the scene in which Sheppard realizes Teyla is mad at him for something he apparently did in her dream. I recalled Rob telling me that the exact same thing happened to him once after his wife had a nightmare.

Whenever the half-wraith Sheppard in rustic clothing attacked Teyla in her dream sequence, Martin Gero would shout: “No, hobo Sheppard. No!”.

One of the stunts during the climactic Good vs. Evil Sheppard sequence called for a ratchet pull which required Joe be jeked trough a portion of breakaway railing and cross the room. It was a bit of an unnerving stunt for the uninitiated since he needed to fly through the air, backwards, from a starting point of the set’s second level. Joe was harnessed, Rob called action, the countdown came “Three…two…ONE!” and…nothing. Our special effects coordinator called for a re-set and as everyone relaxed and prepared for an equipment check – the apparatus suddenly engaged. I remember watching (and rewatching) the shot in dailies, the exact instant when Joe realizes – eyes widening slightly, body tensing, managing an “Urk” before – being abruptly yanked off his feet, through the railing, and across the room. Acting is a tough business.

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September 8, 2012

Video: Hellboy trailer

Photos: Fresh ostrich eggs, Stargate: Atlantis


While out shopping this afternoon, I came across this:

Okay all you know-it-all gourmets, let’s hear your best ostrich egg recipe. According to the shop owner, although it may seem daunting, I shouldn’t feel obliged to use the entire egg in one meal. Apparently, ostrich eggs keep surprisingly well. I honestly considered picking it up and surprising the guys tomorrow but, ultimately, decided against it figuring I would have my hands full with the Philly Cheesesteaks. Also, the $95 price tag seemed a little much. I say “seemed” because I really have no idea what ostrich eggs go for these days. Also, even if I did shell out for one and managed to find a terrific recipe, I’m not at all sure how to open one up. If Chopped has taught be anything, it’s that ostrich shells are incredibly thick. Suggestions on cracking this puzzle would be greatly appreciated as well.

Yes, I’m all set for Philly Cheesesteak Sunday. Today, I picked up the shaved rib eye, onions, mushrooms, peppers, mayo, ketchup, provolone, American cheese (aka processed cheese) and, believe it or not, Cheese Whiz (Akemi refused to believe it was actual cheese). Tomorrow morning, I’ll wake up early(ish) and pick up some fresh rolls at which point I’ll be good to go. I think I’ll start on the onion, peppers, and mushrooms, pop them in the oven, then add them to order as I prepare the meat for the individual sandwiches.

As an added bonus, Rob texted to inform me he’s been experimenting with donuts. Tomorrow afternoon, we’ll see the results of his mad genius.

I will, of course, snap pics of the finished product for you all to criticize.

Well, this would certainly put a damper on my planned trip to Tokyo later this year: Experts Predict Japan’s Mount Fuji Will Erupt Soon. Uh, exactly how soon is “soon”? Next year soon? In the next five years soon? November soon? Hmmm. Better pack a snack and extra underwear just in case.

This blog’s resident movie critic, Cookie Monster (check out all his past reviews here: Film reviews by resident film criti…) asked me to remind everyone that next week’s Supermovie of the Week Club selection is Hellboy. Discussion begins Monday. Watch it!

Continuing our trip down SGA memory lane...

TRAVELERS (405)

For the longest while, Joe Flanigan wanted us to cast a sexy female regular to play off Sheppard, a character who, in tandem with John, would offer the show a Moonlighting dynamic. While I wasn’t against the idea, I felt that the addition of another regular would take away from the existing dynamic. Instead, I came up with an alternative scenario, one that would introduce a character with recurring potential. And so, the idea for Larrin, and the Travelers, Larrin, was born. As was the case whenever we cast a guest star, everyone was all over every audition – to the point that I seriously wondered whether we would ever find our Larrin in time. Well, we did – eventually – casting the lovely Jill Wagner. The plan had always been to bringer back but scheduling conflicts quashed that possibility and, sadly, while referred to onscreen, Larrin was never seen again. [Oops. Right. Never seen again. After the mid-season two-parter].

[John Emmanuel Ramos]

Great posts! And I follow this blog as I have a WordPress account.

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September 9, 2012

Video: Stargate: Atlantis rap video

Photos: Snow monkeys, Philly cheesesteaks, donuts, cookies, Rob Cooper, Ivon Bartok, Lulu, Stargate: Atlantis


A disappointing start to the (fantasy) football season saw my Snow Monkeys upset today in unspectacular fashion. Looks like it’s going to be a loooong season.

Well, at least I was able to drown my sorrows – in Philly cheesesteaks, donuts, and chocolate chip cookies:

It was a lower than expected turnout (four of us instead of the expected ten) so I had a bunch of leftovers. As Tobias was leaving, I made sure he took home a bunch of donuts and cookies, a package of bread – and a second package of bread I tucked under his warm as he headed out the door. After all, the last thing I need are distractions. I’ve got to get in shape for Tokyo where I expect I’ll be doing a lot of eating (or, in a worst case scenario, running from Mount Fuji lava).

It was a better day for my frenchie, Lulu, who got to see her favorite guy, Ivon. Don’t know what it is about him (really, I don’t) but she absolutely adores him:

I got a call from writing partner, Paul, who suggested we get together this week to discuss some of the series ideas we’ve been pitching. I think he’s feeling a little antsy after our extended time off and would like to start work on a new project – specifically, writing another pilot we can go out with. For my part, I’ve been enjoying my time off but, admittedly, feel the need to get back at it as well. At the beginning of this year, I figured I’d enjoy my leisurely 2012 and, while I certainly have, I’ve also been surprised by how busy my presumably less busy days have been. It seems like there’s always something that needs to get done and ever enough time in the day to do it. How the hell did I ever manage it when I was working on Stargate?

Anyway, getting together to spin ideas for some new scripts sounds like a great idea, especially since some recent developments on the Dark Matter front (Paul and my comic book series) seem to have fizzled. Things had looked very promising and I was hoping to make an exciting announcement next week but, alas, as is often the case in this business, what seems a sure thing on a Monday inevitably becomes a longshot on Friday. And on we go...

Continuing our trip down SGA memory lane...

TABULA RASA (406)

I liked this episode a lot but, and how’s this for irony, don’t remember that much about the production given that I had my hands full with Reunion at the time. This was, of course, our version of memento with an SF twist. Writer-producer Alan McCullough did a terrific job on the script and the cast (David Hewlett in particular) did an equally terrific job with the material.

I do recall this episode shooting during an international press junket (as they called it) that saw a number of reporters from European magazines descend on the Bridge Studios for an official Q&A with the show’s creators and cast – after which they hung around to do some cameos (they all appear in the big in mess hall scene). Among those who put in an appearance was G4?s Zach Selwyn (Attack of the Show) who got a slightly meatier role as a result of this video:

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September 10, 2012

Photos: Hellboy


Smart, stylish, funny and romantic. No, dis not Monster’s horney.com profile. It be desktription of Hellboy, a movie me would call an anty-superhero movie. Why monster call it anty-superhero movie? Becuz monster’s Anty Florence not big fan of superhero movies, but she really like superhero movies dat defy de genre by taking established cliches and turning dem on deir head. And dis be one of dose movies.

Movie begin during WWII when Allied forces led by nerdy young scientist stop bald guy in bathrobe and Nazis from…opening gateway to other dimension/Hell/apokalips. Yeah, okay. Not exactly original idea but, back in de 40?s, what a bad guy to do? Conquer de world and open gateways to other dimension, dats what. Anyhoo, gateway opened for only a few seconds before Allies attack and shut it down. Nazis eskape but soldiers discover someting dat came thru gate – someting from another dimension. A weird and scary little creature dat look like...

Oops. Me sorry. Not DAT weird and scary. Monster try again. A weird and scary little creature dat look like...

Awwww. Little creature so cute army decide not to blow its brains out. Instead, dey keep and call him Hellboy. Hellboy raised by kindly brilliant nerd scientist who grow up to become...

No, wait. Me sorry. Not dat guy. Hellboy raised by kindly brilliant nerd scientist who grow up to become...

Hellboy grow up too and, years later, he and Professor working for Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense (BURPD) along wit other crazy charakters like Abe Sapien (psychik amphibian) and Liz Sherman (firestarter-but-not-stopper who Hellboy in love wit).

Young FBI agent, John Myers, assigned to BURPD, but not exacktly hit if off wit Hellboy. But no time to wallow becuz pesky Nazis resurrect bald bathrobe guy and release rasta alien on Earth. Rasta alien very creepy and cranky and look like...

No, wait. Very close but dat not him. Creepy and cranky rasta alien look like...

Hellboy chase it down and kill it – but when it die, it lay eggs dat give birth to two more.

While Hellboy follow agent John Myers out on a date, trying to make de moves on Liz Sherman, bald guy in bathrobe sneak into Professor’s study and, wit help of henceman, Slashy McStabby, he kill him.

Hellboy and co. travel to Moscow, land of vodka, caviar, and interdimensional portals where bad guys planning to finish what dey started back in WWII. Hellboy forced to help dem to save Liz, but agent Myers tell him to remember who he really be!

Hellboy remember who he be – den take on giant octo-monster before killing it by blowing it up from de inside wit hand grenade belt.

Liz dead but Hellboy bring her back to life by threatening to kick demon ass. Dey kiss. De End!

Verdikt: Sure, movie plot be a little cliche and some tings don’t make sense (“Here. I’ll just duck around dis corner while you engulf chamber in flames. I should be okay.”), but Hellboy have a lot of heart, humor and, most important of all, charakters you care about. Like Hellboy, Liz, agent Myers, and, monster’s favorite...

Oops. Me sorry again. Not dat guy. Monster’s favorite...

Rating: 7.5 chocolate chippee cookies.

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September 11, 2012

Photos: Snow monkey, Stargate: Atlantis, space-gopher


What a difference a week makes. Well, actually a weekend in which my Snow Monkeys were upset in fantasy football league play. In the days leading up to the week one kick-off, I was incredibly excited, scouring the internet in preparation for the season to come – researching, analyzing, deciding. Today, I could barely muster the enthusiasm to look into the waiver wire prospects. My shocking loss all came down to two plays: the injury to my top-ranked running back, Fred Jackson, and a fumble by my top-ranked wide receiver Marques Colston. In the first case, Jackson’s injury took him out of the game (and will keep him out of action for 3-4 weeks) and allowed backup C.J. Spiller to rack up 20+ fantasy points. In the second, Colston fumbled the ball on his way into the endzone, costing me about 14 points (6 for his TD, 4 for Brees who I also have, and the 2 point penalty for the fumble). So there you have it. 34 points. 34 points that would have handily given me the week one victory. Instead, my Snow Monkeys are 0-1 and I’m heading toward a tough week #2 match-up without my #1 running back.

Oh, well. On the bright side, all that time I would have spent on fantasy football can be put to more productive use studying Japanese or continuing my seemingly endless spring (through summer and heading into fall) cleaning.

And, of course, updating this blog with my reflections on SGA’s fourth season...

MISSING (406)

Girl power! A great episode that showed off two of our strong female leads. On the one hand, we have Teyla, the fearless warrior, who kicks ass and demonstrates the courage and poise of an experienced leader. On the other hand, we have Jennifer Keller, the young doctor who, overwhelmed and out of her element, still manages to step up and come through. What really struck me about this episode was how reversed the roles were behind the scenes. There was no way in hell Rachel was getting anywhere near that bridge, much less stepping on it (hell, I don’t blame her). Jewel, meanwhile, not only stepped onto the bridge, she dispensed with a stunt double and gamely walked across it herself.

And, oh, that bridge. I recall Carl coming into my office one day, shaking his head, rueing the day he wrote it into the script. To quote from a past blog post on the infamous footbridge: “Carl envisioned a scene involving a rope bridge and, simple enough, the Art Department came up with a design, it was approved, the bridge was built – and then when we found out the cost, our eyes almost popped out of our skulls. As it turns out, it wasn’t the bridge that was so pricey but the added expense of paying security guards to stand watch, 24/7, to ensure no adventurous teens attempted to cross the damn thing while it was up. It was just one of many surprises that transformed this originally inexpensive episode into a $$$ spectacular.”


Mailbag:

DP writes: “In the intro: “he eats six times a day. He has a thing for cats.”… did they want me to think he eats the cats? Because I did at first and I didn’t mind.”

Answer: Ha. So did I. I thought the saving the box of kittens at the subway station was a nice, silly touch.

gforce writes: “What exactly did the ex-Nazi’s hope to gain by all this, bring about the end of the world? How does that benefit them at all? Are they just being jerks?”

Answer: You’d think they’d have learned their lesson by watching the countless books, movies, and t.v. shows that have used this plot. Opening portals to Hell/other dimensions always ends badly for the guys doing the opening. It’s not as if some gibbering, multi-tentacled hellspawn is going to waltz through and thank them for making it all possible.

anneteldy writes: “I liked Abe a lot and Hellboy himself was great but Liz? How does living in an asylum help you control your firestarting? I could see living in seclusion so no one accidentally pisses you off, but an asylum?

Answer: Good point. Unless of course they happen to have someone who specializes in treating firestarters.

Wendy writes: “Huh? Any reason that my RSS reader decided to load feeds from your HK trip with Fondy back in the day? Strange, but kinda disconcerting how long I’ve been reading your blog! Lol”

and

JasonM writes: “Why is it that when viewing your blog via RSS I keep getting posts from November 2006 popping up as new and un-read?”

Answer: Apologies. I’ve been going over my old posts, fixing some of the weird fonts and correcting spelling errors. Please disregard. Or, better yet, read ‘em again!

Randomness writes: “Speaking of your Japan trip Joe, you may want to visit Namja Town. It’s an indoor theme park that not only focuses on the fun aspect of things, but also is home to a million flavors of ice cream including stuff like Squid Ice Cream things like that.”

and

Maggiemayday writes: “Squid ice cream.. I have nothing left to add.”

Answer: I’ve got something to add. Please go to this post and scroll down for a video of some of the unique ice cream flavors I picked up at Ice Cream City including crab, salt and the oh-so-memorable squid: November 26, 2008: Tokyo Trip Day #4, Kaiseki Feast, Porking Out, Sweets and Such, and The Weird Food Purchase of the Day – Japanese Ice Cream Edition

for the love of Beckett writes: “Joe, so sorry that things fell through for Dark Matter. Was it a deal for TV, feature film, or both?”

Answer: TV. Ah, well. If it can’t be done right, best not to do it at all – a lesson I’ve learned the hard way.

JeffW writes: “Sorry, I do have sympathy for Indy Colts fans, just no sympathy for the Irsays. This is why:

http://www.history.com/this-day-in-h...o-indianapolis

I went to bed that night hearing Bob Irsay say the Colts were staying in Baltimore and woke up to news they were gone…left in the middle of the night.”

Answer: At least Modell was clear about his intentions and, after leaving, left Browns their identity. Irsay simply hijacked the team in his infamous midnight move. Classless.

Ponytail writes: “When are we going to Tokyo? November?”

Answer: That’s the plan.

Michelle writes: “Even better reason not to go back to Japan is their fishermen are again killing whales and dolphins for their (mercury-ridden) meat at The Cove. I wonder what the average Japanese citizen thinks of this, if they even know. Real-time reports: https://www.facebook.com/SeaShepherd...nsOfficialPage"

Answer: According to Akemi, whale meat was eaten by the older generation back in the day because it was cheaper. Very few people eat it today. It’s neither popular nor one of those “fashionable” dishes that might explain why it continues to be eaten. Most consider its greasy, gummy texture unappetizing. As for dolphins – the fact that they are being eaten in certain areas of Japan was shocking news to her and her friends. Like the seal hunt, it’s a suspect activity isolated to a few places that excuse their behavior on the grounds that it puts money in the pockets of impoverished communities.

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September 12, 2012

Photos: Akemi, Stargate: Atlantis


The cultural divide between Akemi and I has made for some very interesting conversations. More often than not, my attempts to explain certain facets of the Western world have only served to baffle her as she makes the all too innocent error of attempting to apply logic to such notions as tipping, fashion, and vegetarianism. As a result, these chats have left me amused, frustrated and, occasionally, genuinely disappointed there was no one around to hear them. And then, the other day, I noticed the voice memo function on my iPhone. I decided to test it out. And the following is the result of that test: my attempt to explain the story of Noah to Akemi.

Podcast (Noah)

Granted, I could probably use a refresher on Genesis 6-9.

Continuing our stroll down SGA memory lane...

THE SEER (408)

As far as “prophetic visions” episodes go, I thought the show had done better – and would do better. Still, The Seer was not without its merits. There were a couple of standout guest performances on the part of the legendary Martin Jarvis, the always terrific Robert Picardo and, of course, Chris Heyerdahl as an enigmatic wraith looking to make a deal. It had its fair share of action, adventure and humor but, at the end of the day, unlike episodes like SG-1?s Prophecy or SGU’s Trial and Error, the visions at the heart of the story don’t really pay off in a satisfying manner (until episode’s later). Nevertheless, it’s nice to see Carter flexing her muscle in the face of some difficult command decisions, and standing her ground in the face of pressure from the IOA.

Today’s entry is dedicated to longtime blog reader Anne Teldy!

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September 13, 2012

Photo: Stargate: Atlantis


Technically, I was not operating a cell phone while driving. I was checking a football score while stopped at a red light. Still, there was no point in arguing with a motorcycle cop who, I suspect, was simply angry that I hadn’t allowed him to pass me on the right. Boy, it’s been a while. The last time I received a ticket was some five years ago when I was speeding down Granville Street in an attempt to get home in time to watch the season premiere of South Park (See? It IS a bad influence!). I’m not sure if this is the case elsewhere but here in Vancouver, police officers tend to step out onto traffic, stand directly in front of the offending vehicle, and point resolutely from the car to the curb. That’ll certainly get someone to slow down but, at the time it happened to me, I had to wonder how many cops were hit by drivers whose reflexes were not as cat-quick as my own. Judging from the handful of articles I’ve read since that day, I’d say at least three.

So when was the last time you received a ticket and what was the charge? I’m going to guess lewd and lascivious behavior. Am I close?

Anyway, we were driving home from dinner at Campagnolo where Akemi joined Rob and his wife, Hillary, for a feast. No, really. A FEAST: seven different types of cured meats, two pizzas, a pork trio, beef tongue, lasagna, arancini, cured olives, and a tomato salad (just for show). And, of course, three desserts. I had planned to upload the photos and descriptions of our meal but, frankly, am so thoroughly exhausted by the experience that I’ll have to save it for tomorrow’s blog entry.

Our look back on Atlantis’s fourth season continues with the controversial...

MILLER’S CROSSING (309)

Back when Martin came up with the idea for the episode that first introduced Rodney’s sister, he was spinning ideas for a title when he came up with McKay and Mrs. Miller – a tip of the hat to the movie McCabe and Mrs. Miller. All he had to do was change Jeannie’s married name to Miller and, voila, the title worked perfectly. When it came time to doing a sequel (of sorts) to the episode, Martin again wracked his brain to come up with an appropriate title and finally settled on Miller’s Crossing – a tip of the hat to the Cohen Brothers movie of the same name. Granted, it’s a bit of a stretch but the siblings do end up crossing paths. Right?

Some controversy surrounding Sheppard’s actions at episode’s end – specifically, his manipulation of Wallace that sees the desperate father sacrifice himself to save his daughter and Jeannie (and, indirectly, Rodney who was about to offer himself up to the wraith). Dark? Yes. Morally and ethically suspect? Admittedly. Defensible? I would say, yes, absolutely. We went back and forth in the room on this one and ultimately decided that, while a tough choice, it’s one that John would make if it meant saving innocent lives. Still, the decision greatly troubles Rodney and, given John’s final scene, it’s evident that it doesn’t sit all that well with him either. From a creative standpoint, I loved the dilemma and the moral murkiness of Sheppard’s call as I felt it added a darker dimension to his at times enigmatic character.

The director’s cut ran long so a couple of scenes were cut for time. One involved Sheppard coming in on Ronon, sitting in their motel room, watching Battlestar Galactica. Ronon’s reaction to the show: “We’ve got to help those people!”. Sheppard explains it’s a t.v. show – but does concede that the lives of the Galactic crew do look a lot more exciting than theirs.