Joseph Mallozzi's Blog! (SPOILERS For All SG Shows and Dark Matter)

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August 2, 2012

Photos: Jelly, Lulu, Akemi, lunch, Simon, Stargate; Atlantis


As requested, I sent off the package containing further documentary evidence of my relationship with Akemi. This package, even bigger than the first one sent, included: three letters from friends, a slew of photos, Christmas cards and mail addressed to us, and several Akemi-centric blog entries including the recent one which offers an overview of our relationship AND 78 supportive comments from you, dear readers. So, thanks again. Hopefully, we’ll hear positive word back soon. I’m a little concerned because, according to Akemi’s research, the process may take a couple of more months and the final step will require Akemi sending her passport to Asia – which may well put a wrench in our planned annual Tokyo trip in early November. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to cancel the flights and hotel so either we get this sorted out in time, I eat the cost of the trip, OR I’ll be traveling with Jelly instead.

Akemi is feeling positive and directed said positive energy into some cute culinary creations...

We hit a couple of the few trucks for lunch the other day. All good but my favorite is still, surprisingly (or maybe not), Pig on the Street that offers “bacon inspired treats and other rustic chow” like -

And, it was while we were checking out the food trucks, that we ran into another friend of ours, Chef Simon -

I’m off to try a recipe for Malaysian Black Pepper Clams. Wish me luck! In the meantime…

Continuing our trip down Stargate: Atlantis memory lane with the second episode the show’s third season...

MISBEGOTTEN (302)

Do you know what I hate almost as much as driving around looking for parking? Yes, that’s right – coming up with episode titles. More of than not, we spend an entire afternoon throwing around ideas before finally settling on some inane placeholder title we can use until somebody can come up with a suitable one. These situations have given rise to inspired, strangely suitable, wholly unacceptable temporary titles like: Fool’s Goa’uld, The Red Shirt Diaries, Atlantis vs. the Space Dolphins, and Teal’c Interrupted. In the case of this episode, Paul, who took the lead on the script, went with The Grapes of Wraith until he finally came up with a title he was happy with: Begotten. And subsequently changed his mind and went with Misbegotten.

Love the premise, how the episode plays out, and the fact that it’s one of those rare occasions where Beckett is front and center in the action. But those wigs! I had a very hard time taking the dailies seriously whenever those flaxen-haired fellas strolled through the scenes. Granted, some were better than others but more than a few were unintentionally hilarious.

Another production bump I recalled concerned that “steep incline” which the wraith was purported to have taken a tumble down, presumably breaking his neck. The problem was the location had not steep angled drops and the only incline they had was maybe 45 degrees at best. In the end, we used a little camera trickery to sell it – but it still wasn’t wholly convincing.

Great moral dilemma at episode’s end when Sheppard and Beckett briefly debate the best course of action as the sensors detect the approach of the hive ship. As much as it may have seemed morally suspect, I think that Sheppard made the right call. I’m sure there’ll be those who disagree.

Richard Woolsey visits Atlantis, holding Weir’s fate as Commander of the Atlantis expedition in the balance – and comes through for her, further cementing his redemption in the eyes of longtime viewers.

Finally, actor Chris Heyerdahl changes sides, from the role of the Athosian Halling to that of a wraith – and, eventually, THE wraith we’ll come to know and love as Todd.

Thoughts?

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August 3, 2012

Video: X-Men trailer

Photos: Dessert Master Curtis Luk, lunch at Fable Kitchen, Stargate: Atlantis


I’m in the midst of an exhaustingly thorough life/housecleaning. Today, I decided to take a break and grab lunch at Fable Kitchen (in the premises formerly occupied by Refuel, and Fuel before that). We came in on Dessert Master (and Stargate fan) Curtis Luk working his confectionary magic:

We said our hello’s, grabbed a table, and enjoyed a casual lunch of:

And, of course, what lunch would be complete without dessert(s):

And then, it was back to work – into the crawlspace, hefting boxes, looking through old files and financial statements. To be honest, it’s a pleasant break from all the business-related phone calls of late.

Yesterday, Paul and I were on a call that, as far as we knew going in, was going to be all about on one of our pilot scripts. Instead, it turned out to be a pitch call. ”Your agent says you have some other ideas?”we were asked – at which I scrambled to bring up my file on the series ideas Paul and I discussed the other week before launching into my sales pitch. We’ve got a drama, a procedural, a fantasy series, and an SF offering. I’ll freely admit that we are better on paper and wanted to say “Why don’t we just wait and you can read the script in a couple of months?” but pitching/spinning is part of the business.

I didn’t think anything was going to stick UNTIL we were asked “Anything else?” and I considered, then realized: “Yeah. We do have one more.” at which point I launched into the pitch for the series we’re developing with Ivon Bartok and Robert Cooper. To be honest, Rob is A LOT better at pitching than any of us and I would have preferred to defer to him – but he wasn’t on the call. And I didn’t know if he would be talking to these people anytime soon so I went ahead and made the pitch. Happily, they ended up liking the idea and asking for any materials we had on the proposed series. And, double-happily, Rob is in L.A. this week and next and he’s scheduled to meet with them Monday morning.

Speaking of calls, I’ll be doing a phoner with the gang at Wormhole Riders this Sunday night. I hear the topic of conversation will be fairly open. Comics books? Chocolate? The last episode of Master Chef? I think I’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Continuing our trip down Stargate: Atlantis memory lane...

IRRESISTIBLE (303)

One of the great things about working on Stargate was the freedom it gave us when it came to scripting a wide variety of episodes. For instance, the season opener, No Man’s Land, is a big, splashy visual effects-laden affair that touches on some of the major threads woven over the show’s previous seasons. The season’s second episode, Misbegotten, also touches on some of these same big arc elements in a story that is more human, character-centered and, ultimately, quite tragic. The season’s third episode, Irresponsible, switches gears in delivering a lighter, more humorous episode that presents Atlantis under threat from a most unlikely source – a seemingly affable, simple fellow named Lucius Lavin.

In playing the role of Lucius, actor Richard Kind becomes one of a handful of actors who guest-starred in both the series and the original Stargate movie (in which he played the part of an archaeologist).

Eagled-eyed viewers will also notice a familiar face among Lucius’s village admirers – namely Julia Anderson (now Julia Bensons) who would go on to play Lieutenant Vanessa James in Stargate: Universe.

Some memorable bits of dialogue:

LUCIUS: “The sick have been cured, the lame can walk again … well, some still crawl, but they crawl a lot faster than they used to.”

and

LUCIUS: “How do you get your hair to go like that?”

also

SHEPPARD: Well, what about Beckett?

McKAY: Oh, he … now, he can walk on his hands. Did you know that? Yeah, he was showing Lucius just before he left. You should have seen it. He was down on his hands ...

- Which was actually a reference to Paul McGillion’s reputed background as a wrestler and his ability to, yes, walk on his hands. Ask him to show you next at his next con appearance!

And finally:

LUCIUS: Mess hall. Blue jello. Just a little bit of whipped cream.

- Yet another reference to Stargate’s famed blue jello.

I remember that we shot this episode in late April, around the time of my annual chocolate party. Richard Kind was in the office across the hall, making travel arrangements while I was in my office, making arrangements for incoming chocolate shipments. He happened by and I invited him to join us that Saturday night at my place. He ended up having a great time and, even years afterwards, would drop me an email or note about some heavenly dessert place he’d discovered (like Graeter’s in Cincinnnati, OH). Very nice guy.

Kudos to Carl Binder on the script!

This blog’s resident film critic, Cookie Monster, urges you to join our Supermovie of the Week Club. Every week, we’ll be screening and discussing a different superhero movie. We’ve been working our way chronologically through Hollywood’s superbest and superworst and have finally reached 2000 and Monday’s entry, X-Men. Cookie Monster is confident we’ve turned the corner and that, from here on in, it’s super smoooooooooooth sailing.

All of Cookie Monster’s past film reviews have been archived here: Film reviews by resident film criti...

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August 4, 2012

Photos: Powell Street Festival, Akemi, Bubba, Ivon Bartok, Joe Mallozzi, Jelly, Lulu, Stargate: Atlantis


Hey! Today, Akemi, Bubba and I checked out the annual Powell Street Festival. Where were you guys?!!

Ivon texted me “Mules today?”, a reference to the Moscow Mule cocktail we discovered during our trip to Tokyo back in 2010. I had the ginger beer. All I needed was the limes. And, it turns out, the vodka. I returned home to find an empty bottle of Grey Goose in my liquor cache – compliments, I suspect, of our former house sitter, Lawren. I popped out to get a bottle and, when I got back, Ivon was already there -

And it was. The only thing missing was the copper mugs – and, believe me, I’ve been looking.

Tomorrow, Ivon joins Akemi and I for a trip to the farmer’s market. See you guys there?

Our trip down Stargate: Atlantis memory lane continues with...

SATEDA (304)

This episode marked Robert Cooper’s second foray into the writing/directing/producing trifecta and it turned out to be a much bigger episode than his opener, Crusade. Plenty of action, great character moments, and flashbacks to Ronon’s past made this episode a standout among the early season entries. Jason Momoa was always terrific in his role as Ronon Dex, but it was in episodes like these that we really see him him shine, not only in his onscreen performance but his incredible offscreen preparation and dedication as well. It was something I was to witness firsthand in later Ronon-centered episodes like Reunion and Broken Ties.

The part of the uber-wraith is played by local Vancouver Dan Payne who also played the part of the fearsome super soldier on Stargate: SG-1.

I have to admit that, whenever we watched the dailies and the wraith with the crazy goggles came onscreen, I would shout: “Wraith free swim!”.

For some reason, the network took issue with this episode and insisted on pushing it to later in the season. Brad and Robert rightly argued that the episode belonged in the #4 slot since it established certain elements (Ronon’s acceptance of the Atlantis gang as a family unit) that would through later elements. Finally, after much back and forth, the network relented and the episode did air in the #4 slot.

Thoughts?

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August 5, 2012

Photos: Akemi, Beef Wellington, Stargate: Atlantis


Anybody who has watched Hell’s Kitchen knows that making a perfect Beef Wellington can be tricky. Well, yesterday, Akemi succeeded in executing the dish to perfection. What follows are Akemi’s steps to a terrific Beef Wellington (channeling Gordon Ramsay minus the expletives).

Days of Stargate: Atlantis past continues with our look at -

PROGENY (305)

Finally, we are introduced to the creators of the Hot Zone virus AND answer some long-burning questions like “Why did the Ancient repository of knowledge contain the schematics for a weapon capable of destroying human-form replicators?”. We are introduced to the Asurans who possess the arrogance of their creators, the Ancients, and a coded disposition for violence. Clearly, the worst of both worlds. Carl Binder delivers a script that is tightly plotted, peppered with humor and, in typical Carl fashion, possessed of great character moments. Weir shows off her leadership chops while Rodney demonstrates courage and compassion by offering to “flip” Sheppard for the duty of staying behind to manually trigger the self-destruct. A seminal episode.

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August 6, 2012

Video: The Specials

Photos: X-Men


Wowee! Watching dis movie like eating an Oreo after a steady diet of Grover’s moms “half de sugar” shortbread cookies (taste like dry sadness). Finally, a superhero film made by people not embarrassed to be making a superhero film. X-Men is true to de comic book, respektful of source material, and touch on adult themes of isolation, discrimination, and cage fighting.

Movie focus on teen runaway, Rogue, who can’t touch anyone witout really f’ing dem up. One touch and dey go into convulsions – like me did after watching Superman III and Superman IV back to back. She meet up wit rough and tumble swarthy fellow who go by name, Wolverine, because he have retraktable claws. Dey head off on road trip but, before you can call “Shotgun!”, dey attacked by bunch of costumed weirdoes. Den, saved by another bunch of costumed weirdoes.

Wolverine recover at Hogwart’s School for Gifted Mutant where he meet Professor Jean-Luc Xavier. Professor X lead camp of mutants dat believe dey can co-exist peacefully wit humans. Opposing him be Magneto, leader of Brotherhood of Evil Mutants who believe mutants need to fight back against human bullies (And, frankly, he have a point. I know me not like it when people point and yell: “Hey, you furry blue monster! Stop pooping in de jacoozi!”. It very hurtful). It be a war pitting humans vs. Magneto vs. Professor X – and Wolverine end up caught in de middle.

Senator kidnapped by evil shapeshifting smurfette and mutated into giant walking water balloon – dat eventually burst, tipping X-Men off dat Magneto mebbe up to someting.

Meanwhile, Rogue run away from school. Professor X try to use mind-machine Cerebro to track her down but it be sabotage and he end up in temporary coma.

Jean use Cerebro and find Rogue, den X-Men head off to find her. BUT Magneto get to her first. He kidnap Rogue and plan to use her to trigger wave dat will turn humans into mutants. Wolverine and de X-Men try to stop him. Big fight on top of Statue of Liberty. X-Men save de dey! Dey stop Magneto and prove justness of deir cause, value of team work, and dat Cyclops’ powers really really lame.

Movie conclude wit Professor X playing chess wit his old nemesis Magneto. X-Men have won dis battle, but de war be far from over...

X-Men be a smart, tightly paced movie wit some great performances and a strong message (“Always wear your seatbelt!”). But it far from perfekt. Dis movie could have been called X-Man becuz, aside from Wolverine, not much time spent fleshing out rest of team. Cyclops be blander den unsalted saltines while Hallie Berry give de performance of her Paris Hilton’s career. At times, movie feel like giant set-up – which it is, being first film of de franchise.

Still, X-Men be a nice change of pace from supercrap monster have been subjected to so far for dis movie club so me appreciate de small victories.

Verdikt: Movie not service all de charakters but still do a good job of presenting intelligent, easy-to-follow story wit real-world parallels.

Rating: 8 out of 10 chocolate chippee cookies.

Hopefully dis a sign of good tings to come.

Den again, mebbe not.

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August 7, 2012

Photos: Anime character, Stargate: Atlantis


“Jelly smells like taxi driver.” – Akemi, the other day.

Well, Jelly may have needed the bath but it was Akemi who took the dive yesterday. We had just parked in Yaletown and were unloading the dogs from the car. I had the treats in one hand and a leashed Bubba and Lulu in the other. I crossed the bike path and threw a look back to Akemi who, Jelly in her arms, started after me – and trapped. She went like down a cartoon character, flat on her face, arms outstretched and still holding Jelly who landed cleanly on her paws and quickly shuffled over to join me.

Akemi was stunned. The first thing she did was apologize. Then, she assured me that she was okay and that we should continue on to the park. I took one look at her and told her “No way.”. She had abrasions on both her shins, her right toe which had caught the edge of the concrete, and her right wrist which had partially broken her fall. We bundled the dogs back into the car and returned home where Akemi cleaned the dirt and gravel out of her wounds, then applied some antibiotic analgesic and vaseline before bandaging them up. Now she looks like one of those injured anime characters.

As painful as it looked, for her part, Akemi was more hurt by the fact that nobody (but me) stopped to help. Apparently, if this was Japan, people would have rushed over to help or, at the very least, asked her if she was okay – as opposed to gawking and then moving on. Which brings up another complaint Akemi has about North Americans: they’re rude. Whenever someone bumps into her or steps on her foot, Akemi is conditioned to apologize. Again, if this was Japan, the individual bumping into her or stepping on her foot would apologize in turn but, here in North America, the standard response she receives is: “That’s okay.” or “No problem.” Well, it IS a problem. For Akemi. She feels that THEY should be apologizing to HER! I sympathize, but only up to a certain point. Japanese social conditioning dictates that an individual should launch a preemptive apology, even if they’re not in the wrong, but North American social conditioning dictates that individuals should automatically find fault with others – and if they’re apologizing, then that just makes it all that much easier!

I advised Akemi that she should compromise in the future. If someone steps on her foot, she can go ahead and apologize (because, being Japanese, I’m sure it would feel wrong not to). If the other person apologizes in turn, then all is right with the world and she can move on with her life. IF, however, the other individual fails to apologize, she should wait until they have turned and are about to walk away, then step firmly on their achilles tendon and shove from behind, preferably using a forceful two handed maneuver while remembering to keep that foot (and achilles heel) planted. THEN you can go ahead and apologize. And really mean it this time.

Continuing our stroll down Stargate: Atlantis memory lane:

THE REAL WORLD (306)

Paul and I are big Carl Binder fans for purely selfish reasons. He writes solid first drafts and is able to incorporate notes quickly with a minimum of hand wringing and tearful reproaches. He is a show runner’s dream writer, as reliable as a Mustang convertible in his ability to deliver the goods in impressive yet understated fashion, relieving us of the necessity of doing any of our own driving – or, alternately, stripping him for parts and abandoning his gutted chassis in some sketchy neighborhood. Well, you know what I mean. He’s great, especially when it comes to character-driven stories. So it should come as no surprise that Carl was the go-to guy when it came to the Elizabeth Weir episodes. Before I Sleep was his memorable first writerly foray into Stargate: Atlantis and, two seasons later, he’s lost none of the skill, inventiveness, and humor that landed him a staff position on the franchise. The Real World is a head-spinner of an episode that takes place in two different realities – one real, one imagined, and yet for all of its illusory setting and fictitious elements, the alternate world offers up the opportunity to see a side of Elizabeth we, as viewers, rarely get the chance to glimpse.

Richard Dean Anderson guest stars in this episode. I recall he and Torri had a great time shooting their scenes and that, in turn, translated into the palpable onscreen chemistry between them. Makes me sad we didn’t get the chance to explore this a little more.

Also guesting in this episode was our own stunt coordinator, James “Bam Bam” Bamford who has a cameo as one of the burly orderlies who restrain Weir.

As much as I enjoyed the big space-based battles or team-centered off-world adventures, it was always nice to occasionally have a quieter, spotlight episode that featured a single character. And this one hit all the right notes.

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August 8, 2012

Video: Japanese bow

Photo: Stargate: Atlantis


Akemi: What do you call the ghost who doesn’t wear a sheet? He’s all wrapped up?

Me: A mummy. And a mummy isn’t a ghost. In Ancient Egypt -

Akemi: Dracula’s friend?

Me: In some movies, yes, I suppose they were friends…sort of.

Akemi: And Dracula’s from Europe?

Me: Yes. And he isn’t a ghost either. Close. He’s undead.

Akemi: What about Canadian ghosts?

Me: I can’t think of one.

Akemi: Chucky?

Me: I think Chucky’s American. And he’s not a ghost either. He’s a possessed doll.

Akemi: Ogopogo?

Me: Well, yes, Ogopogo is Canadian – a Canadian lake monster. But not a ghost.

Akemi: And not scary.

Me: As opposed to a mummy?

Akemi: Mummy is scary.

Me: What’s it going to do? Wrap you in bandages?

Akemi: Not bandages. Covered in toilet paper. Very scary.

Our look back on Stargate: Atlantis’s third season continues with...

COMMON GROUND (307)

Landing a staff position on an established series is a tough proposition. Sometimes, it has less to do with talent and more to do with a writer’s ability/inability to “get” the show. And it’s even made all that much more difficult if it’s a long-running series laden with backstory and mythology. But it has been done. On Stargate, all that was needed was the proper calling card (in the form of a strong spec script that opened the door to a pitching opportunity) and proof (in the form of a great pitch followed by an equally great script). Damian did it with The Other Guys. Carl did it with Before I Sleep. And Ken Cuperus did it with Common Ground.

Of course, the truth is, no freelancer comes into a show cold and writes a perfect script. Ken came up with a fantastic idea that, like most every other script on the show, was spun and broken by the writing department. Then, it was up to Ken to deliver a solid outline and first draft (which he did, earning himself that staff position) at which point Brad – the episode’s producer – did his pass on the script. The result? A fan favorite that introduces the villainous (though no less charming) Todd and his on-again-off-again uneasy alliance with Sheppard. It also explores the fascinating idea of reverse-feeding that will prove fodder for future stories like Reunion and Broken Ties.

Todd’s facial tattoo look familiar? Well it should if you’re a fan of Kiss. The tattoo was inspired by the similar make-up design sported by band member Ace Frehley who, we learned, was a big fan of the show.

So, that live Q&A I was planning to do with you all. When’s good for you? I was thinking maybe Tuesday, August 14th – 6:00 p.m. PST, 9:00 p.m. EST.


Hey, remember the mailbag?

Sylvia writes: “@Akemi – sorry to hear you fell. If your right wrist hurts, please be sure to get an xray. You want to be sure it is not broken or even slightly fractured.”

Answer: The wrist felt a little sore this morning so we ended up going to the clinic. The doctor checked it out (specifically looking for a potential fracture) but it was all good. She suggested antibiotic cream and clean bandages. But Akemi wasn’t so sure. After consulting some Japanese websites, she’s been going with vaseline, saran wrap, and bandages. I know. Sounds crazy. But I ended up doing some online research of my own and discovered that “moisture wound healing” has been found to reduce scarring and speed healing. Yes, vaseline, saran wrap, and bandages.

mike mcginnis writes: “when are you going to do the live q&a in the comments?”

Answer: Damn. Thanks for reminding me. See above.

dasNdanger writes: “So, Akemi, if you’d be so kind, can you please explain Japanese bowing etiquette for me? It may be many years too late, but I’d sure like to know how to stop the bowing exchange once it starts!”

Answer: Here ya go!

Alisa Russell writes: “What I was planning to use for my older son to learn Japanese this year has fallen through so I have some questions for either you and/or Akemi. What would be the best methods for learning the language?”

Answer: I highly recommend the Rosetta Stone or Pimsleur (I used the latter) CD series. Each half hour lesson sharpens both pronunciation and listening skills. It’s the next best thing to actually living in Japan.

Ryan Nixon writes: “Did you give away all the SGA scripts at Comic Con? Or are there more?”

Answer: Yes, there are more. Vote in our next Stargate-related poll for a chance to win!

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August 9, 2012

Photo: Stargate: Atlantis


Our trip down SGA memory lane continues with...

MCKAY AND MRS. MILLER (308)

Back in season one’s Letters from Pegasus, McKay makes mention of a sister. In truth, in the script, he makes mention of a brother but David requested the gender change since he had a sister who happened to be an actress and, should a future episode call for an appearance by Rodney’s fictional sister… Well, as it turned out, two seasons later, we were looking to cast Rodney’s sister Jeanie and David’s sister, Kate, ended up auditioning for the role. And nailing it.

Probably this episode’s most shocking revelation is the fact that Rodney’s real name is Meredith. Seriously. What sane parent would name their son Meredith? The name Rodney, which caused much consternation among the writers when we first floated the idea of transferring the McKay character over from SG-1 (“His first name is what? Rodney? Can we change it?”), suddenly doesn’t seem so bad.

Among the interesting tidbits that Rod reveals about his alternate universe is the fact that Jeanie has three kids -not just one – named Madison, Bradley, and Robbie. Coincidentally, Bradley Wright and Robbie Cooper were the show’s creators and show runners.

One of the more amusing elements of this episode is the introduction of the AU Rodney McKay, Rod, who ends up charming Jeanie and the team while, simultaneously, annoying the hell out of our Rodney. I’ve always loved AU episodes for their ability to offer us a glimpse of what might have been. Ripple Effect, The Road Not Taken, Vegas – all offered interesting variations on our characters, the result of different circumstances, different decisions. I suppose I enjoy these glimpses because they make me think of the different paths I could have taken over the course of my life and how those alternate decisions may have played out, how the repercussions of those choices would have shaped a different me.

I’m sure you’ve all played What If?, thought about those linchpin moments in your life when you made a decision that changed things for the better or worse. How different would my life be if: 1) I hadn’t sent out resumes to about a hundred production companies, back in the day, in the hopes of landing a job as a script reader, landing instead a shot at writing the animation script that ultimately launched my career?, 2) I’d never suggested to Paul that we should consider a writing partnership, 3) I turned down the opportunity with Stargate, choosing instead to maintain my comfy freelance lifestyle in Montreal rather than rolling the dice and moving to the other side of the country?, 4) I hadn’t made some truly regrettable relationship choices?, 5) I’d just rolled the dice, like I’d done with Vancouver, and simply moved to L.A. after Stargate ended?

Of course 5) is still a possibility.

So what about you? What were your top 5 What Might Have Been moments?

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August 10, 2012 - Part 1

Video: Spiderman trailer

Photo: Stargate: Atlantis


Had a phone conversation re: our comic book series, Dark Matter. It was actually a prelude to a much bigger conference call scheduled for next week, a creative discussion with a network rep. To be honest, the notion of doing Dark Matter as a feature has also been floated and, while I certainly wouldn’t say no to the idea, I would certainly say: “Okay – provided we’ve exhausted all other possibilities.”. Creatively, I feel strongly that DM would work much better as a television series or mini-series because of its serialized nature. Realistically, if it goes the feature route, I can’t expect much involvement (outside of the occasional set visit), so all the more reason to produce it for television where I’m in my element. Of course, having said this, who knows? Everything is a longshot in this business, which is why it’s always a good idea to diversify...

This weekend, I have to sit down and write up pitches for a couple of the series ideas Paul and I came up with last week, identifying the concepts that would, hopefully, be a good fit with the network we’ll be approaching. While I honestly don’t mind doing it, I doubt the potential for making a sale based on a pitch (unless, of course, you happen to be J.J. Abrams). More often than not, what happens is you pitch out an idea, the network representative imagines the worst possible execution of said idea, and that’s that. I’ve always preferred to go out with a finished script as proof of how the idea can be realized. Of course, even that doesn’t guarantee a sale. Still, at the end of the day, even if it doesn’t sell, it offers you a calling card in the form of a writing sample.

Exacerbating matters is the fact that, sadly, Stargate is relatively unknown in Hollywood. Few are familiar with the show and those that do know the show aren’t anymore receptive. In their years at the helm of one of the biggest, most successful science fiction franchises in television history, Brad Wright and Robert Cooper made the studio tons of money and helped build a network. Why these two haven’t been signed to some sort of an overall deal is altogether bewildering.

The more I think about it, the more I believe we really should be down in L.A., taking meetings, getting to know people, making connections. On the flip side, I’ve grown comfortable in Vancouver and, after those 11+ years on Stargate, it’s not as if the dogs are going to starve if I elect to stay where I am. After over a decade working on Stargate, followed by a truly dreadful year in Toronto, 2012 is an opportunity to unwind, relax, travel, write some scripts, and push thoughts of producing to 2013. But, in the next 4-6 months, I’m going to have to make a decision. Do I want to continue to push or am I content with where I am and what I have? Or is there some other, totally different, opportunity I may choose to pursue?

Picking up where we left off on our trip down SGA memory lane...

PHANTOMS (309)

For some reason, at some point in his Stargate career, Carl Binder got pegged as “the ghost writer”, possibly because it seemed that very second episode he wrote happened to involve otherworld apparitions or a variation thereof. Aurora. Echoes. Pain. In Phantoms, the ghosts are hallucinations that, beside offering the usual serving of suspense and high adventure, also allow us some insight into Sheppard’s past (specifically regarding his time in Afghanistan and the actions that resulted in charges of misconduct) AND gives us a nice little twist in Beckett’s story (one which I thought was pretty damn well executed).

Longtime Stargate mainstay Martin Wood directed Phantoms, the type of episode we termed a “run and jump” for its heavy action and movement, elements that played to Martin’s strength as a visually dynamic storyteller.

Sad(?) news from Cookie Monster’s camp. His people report that monster has been unable to get his furry blue mitts on a copy of The Specials, this Monday’s Supermovie of the Week Club selection. As practically every single on of you know, this blog hosts a weekly Supermovie of the Week Club in which, every week, a different superhero-themed movie is screened and reviewed – by guest reviewer, Cookie Monster. Last week’s movie, X-Men (2000), received the first passing mark (8 out of 10 chocolat chipppe cookies!) in many, many weeks of supermovie viewing. I have a feeling the trend was NOT going to continue with The Specials, so maybe it’s just as well we skip it in favor of Spiderman (2002). Watch/Re-watch it, then drop by Monday and weigh in with your thoughts when Cookie Monster offers his learned opinion.

To check out Cookie Monster’s past reviews, head on over here: Film reviews by resident film critic Cookie Monster

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August 10, 2012 - Part 2


Reviews to date:

X-MEN: Wowee! Watching dis movie like eating an Oreo after a steady diet of Grover’s moms “half de sugar” shortbread cookies (taste like dry sadness)… (X-Men)

MYSTERY MEN: Awesome! Fantastic! Amazing! All words monster use to describe The Mystery Men. Soundtrack. Some terrific tunes in dis movie. Terrific! On de other hand, words monster use to describe de aktual movie =… (Mystery Men)

STEEL: Making fun of dis movie be like taunting Grover’s cuzin Edwin, de one who eat candles and walks into walls. Too easy. And where de fun in dat? Well, okay, still some fun…(Steel)

BATMAN AND ROBIN: Batmand and Robin be de filmic equivalent of explosive garden vegetable diarrhea. Exciting, sometime pretty to look at, but it still crap. Dis movie be Joel Schumacher’s master piece (of ****). (Batmand and Robin)

THE PHANTOM: Or, like me prefer to call it: Purple Unitardo and de Temple of Doom! (The Phantom)

SPAWN: Ever have it when you need to write skript for movie, but tings are going slow so you invite Count and Big Bird to your place for drinks but you do too many jagermeister shots and one of girlz Count bring wit him slip roofie into your beer chaser and you wake up next morning wit no pants, no wallet, but finished skript you wrote in drunken, drug-addled, three hour stupor? No? Well, monster suspekt screenwriter of Spawn VERY familiar wit dis scenario… (Spawn)

THE SHADOW: Who knows what evil lurk in de hearts of men? De Shadow knows! How he know? Search monster. Me having hard enough time trying to make sense of dis movie. (The Shadow)

BATMAN FOREVER: Batman Forever. Well, at almost two hours running time, it sure feel dat way. After box office suckcess of first two Batman movies, studio reward Tim Burton by replacing him as direktor and… (Batman Forever)

MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS: Most superhero movies me have reviewed so far make monster so angry he want to go back to video store and punch and slap around employee, den kick him in de grapes. But dis not de case wit Mighty Morphin Power Rangers movie. Instead, me just want to go back and punch and slap. Not as much grape kicking. (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie)

FANTASTIC FOUR (1995): Dis movie nowhere near fantastic but, all in all, not de worst fan film monster have ever seen. (Fantastic Four (1995))

BLANKMAN: Calling dis movie “a comedy” be like calling orange soda “juice”. Blankman aktually offer less den 5% of de daily rekommended serving of laffs. (Blankman)

METEOR MAN: Meteor Man written and directed by Robert Townsend. To be honest, me prefer his Chinatown. (Meteor Man)

BATMAN RETURNS: Batman Returns remind monster of solid gold eggz Big Bird get by mail order. Nice to look at but empty and when send complaint, company stop taking your callz and it all end wit director filing restraning order against you. (Batman Returns)

CAPTAIN AMERICA (1990): From direktor of Kickboxer 4: De Aggressor and Nemesis III: Prey Harder and producer of Breakin’ 2: Elektrik Boogaloo and Super IV: Quest for Peace (uh oh) come Captain America, de greatest American hero since Superman. Oh, and de Greatest American Hero. (Captain America (1990))

DARKMAN: In his most understated performance since role of Rob Roy in movie me can’t remember name of… (Darkman)

THE ROCKETEER: Zzzzzz. Snort. Hunh? Me awake! Sorry. Monster up all night trying to finish Rocketeer for todayz review. Movie is trowback to old cereals from de 30?s and 40?s your grandpa used to love. (The Rocketeer)

BATMAN (1989): Finally, a supermovie dat not completely suck. Only partz involving wet noodle main charakters, a butler who can’t keep a sekret, and bad guyz dancing to Prince. (Batman (1989))

THE PUNISHER (1989): Monster really looking forward to not seeing dis movie. So looking forward, in fakt, dat me make planz to visit Wildwood New Jerzey for jellyfish mating seazon instead. (The Punisher (1989))

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: Hoo boy. Take one good idea wit promise, sell out and make it for kiddiez to cash in on merchandizing potenshul, den make movie about it but don’t bother paying for decent script.… (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

SUPERMAN IV: Wow. Superman IV VERY impressive. It achieve someting not even General Zodd and Leks Luthor able to do = kill off Superman. (Superman IV)

SUPERGIRL: Blargh! Supergirl most nauzeating movie since Big Bird sex tape released online. (Supergirl)

SUPERMAN III: Superman III so bad it make Superman II look like Superman I! (Superman III)

CONDORMAN: After terruble Superman films, Condorman a nice change of pace. Not so much terruble as trooly horruble. It be movie made for kidz – at a time when kidz not know any better… (Condorman)

SUPERMAN II: Superman II is great movie for kidz! Rotten, notty kidz who you want to punish but not allowed to spank, so dis torturus movie next best ting. (Superman II)

SUPERMAN (1978): When time for Monster to sit down and watch Superman movie, he select Speshul Edition because, letz face it, me very speshul. But monster not realize dat “speshul edition” over two and a half hours long! (Superman: The Movie (1978))

HERO AT LARGE: Kwestion #1: When is superhero movie NOT superhero movie? Answer #1: When hero in movie NOT have any superpowers. Kwestion #2: So why monster watching dis movie? Answer #2: Becuz somebody (ie Joe) tell him to watch for Supermovie of de Week Club. Kwestion #3: What de deal with Bert Convy hair? Answer #3: No answer to dat one. (Hero At Large)

BATMAN (1996): Many not know dis but Monster on short list to replace Simon Cowl on Amerikan Idol. Deal almost closed (with jenerous chocolate chippee dressing room rider) when show hire Cookie’s bitter enemy = Jennifer Lopez! (Batman (1966))

SUPERMAN AND THE MOLE MEN: Cookie Monster come down with flu – or maybe bug picked up from Grover jacuzzi party – and not feeling one hunerd persent so sorry if dis review make less sense den movie.… (Superman and the Mole Men)

And a couple of non superhero-themed film reviews:

THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Dere Will Be Blood. Eventually. But it take a while. A loooong while. Almost two and half hours! (There Will Be Blood)

SNAKES ON A PLANE: Snakes on a Plane be good, old-fashioned fun popcorn movie. Minus fun. And not very good. Or old-fashioned. Also, no popcorn. (Snakes on a Plane)

Today’s entry is dedicated to Birthday Boy Carl Binder!

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August 11, 2012

Photos: Dinner at Bao Bei, Simon, Sean, Akemi, Stargate: Atlantis


The other day, our friend and fellow foodie (oh, and culinary apprentice) Simon invited Akemi and I out for dinner. We ended up meeting him (and his friend Sean) at Bao Bei in Chinatown for inspired modern Chinese cuisine.

It’s a tapas-style menu offering a plates of varying sizes, from the tiny couple-of-bites appetizers to the bigger entries – perfect for sharing. Some of the highlights included -

We ended up doing double desserts on the night (actually, triple dessert because we also ordered some ice cream). Simon works at Cin Cin, one of Vancouver’s premiere Italian restaurants, and the kitchen there has been producing some phenomenal macarons and chocolates – both of which we were fortunate enough to sample.

Continuing our reminiscences of Stargate: Atlantis’s third season...

THE RETURN (310)

The Ancients are back! Hurray! And they’re taking back Atlantis! Uh…okay. And kicking us back to Earth! Boo! It’s no secret. I’ve never been a fan of the Ancient storylines, mainly because I find them a tad esoteric. But here we have a bunch of real, live, grounded, unascended Ancients – and they’re still not very likable. In fact, they’re utter douchebags, thanking us for taking care of the place before patting us on the head and sending us on our way. ”Off you go. Don’t let the puddle demolecularize your ass on the way out.” It’s not wonder they got their asses kicked by the wraith.

This is the first episode we really see the gate bridge in action. It seemed like such an obvious idea, I was surprised no one had thought of it before. Of course, coming up with the idea is one thing, finding all those stargates and putting them in position is another thing entirely. Still, the convenience of speedy intergalactic travel between Atlantis and Earth is certainly worth the effort. For about a year until the midway station gets blown up, after which it’s really not that worthwhile in retrospect.

Ah, once again we are treated to the comedy stylings of Anderson and Picardo. It’s real treat to watch these two veteran thespians play off each other. They’re two naturally funny guys so it’s not at all surprising that their scenes worked so well – or that they had a blast shooting them.

So, honestly, what are your thoughts on the Ancients? Impressive intergalactic elder statesmen? Or entitled jerks?

A reminder that our Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes on Monday. Cookie Monster will be dropping by to offer his review of Spiderman (2002).

Today’s entry is dedicated to blog regular mysticode!

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August 12, 2012

Photos: Food Cart Fest, Akemi, Stargate: Atlantis


Today, after hitting the Sunday farmer’s market (not to be confused with the Saturday farmer’s market which we also make a point of attending), we headed on over to the Waldorf Hotel for Food Cart Fest. The weekly event started on July 29th and is continuing, every Sunday, until September 2nd. It’s a chance to check out a bunch of Vancouver’s best food trucks – along with a few other surprises.

We got there for kickoff, 12:00 noon, and line-ups had already started to form.

Did a few tacos as well. Meh. So far as I’m concerned, nothing beats the tongue tacos at the Tacqueria. Yes, you read correctly.

Akemi and I actually discovered Earnest Ice Cream at last week’s (Sunday) farmer’s market.

I was intrigued and tried one of their ice cream sandwiches -

I was mightily impressed by the quality of the ice cream and ended up picking up two pints for home -

Akemi polished off the Whiskey-Hazelnut in about a day. The Cinnamon Donut didn’t last much longer. Today, we ended up going one better, picking up three pints: Chocolate with Cocoa Nibs, Roasted Banana, and, of course, Whiskey-Hazelnut. Let’s hope they make it to Wednesday.

Earnest Ice Cream

Continuing our trip down SGA memory lane...

THE RETURN II (311)

Great. The Ancients were about as successful at holding on to Atlantis as they were the first time they had it. So now, it’s up to Sheppard and co. to retake the city from Asuran control and, oh yeah, help out a trapped O’Neill and Woolsey who are off causing all sorts of trouble of their own. An episode with a nice mix of action, humor, character moments, mythology, twists and turns – an nice, satisfying pay-off to part one’s set-up. And while things end happily enough as things return to normal for our gang on Atlantis, one big question lingers: Where the hell is that Ancient ship, the Tria? Well, given the fact that we don’t hear mention of it again after this episode, take your pick: a) It was destroyed by the Asurans when they took Atlantis, b) It was hidden by the Ancients – hidden so well, in fact, that no one has been able to find it, c) It was sent off on some unknown mission (by either the Ancients or the Asurans who claimed the ship after conquering the Ancients) and was subsequently lost, d) Add it to the pile of cool technology gathering dust at Area 52 like the goa’uld healing device and the time traveling puddle jumper.

Let’s hear your theories!

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August 13, 2012

Video: Daredevil trailer

Photos: Spiderman


What de Fudgee-o? Monster feel like he in Bizarro world where black be white, day be night, and superhero movies aktually be good!

If X-Men was superhero movie made by people not embarrassed to be making a superhero movie, den Spiderman be superhero movie made by people who love superheroes – and comic books. It be a big, bright, beootiful love letter to comic book fans wit a sprinkling of humor, ladles of drama, generous cups of action, and dash of nutmeg. Dat one tasty love letter!

Movie begin wit nerdy Peter Parker who, on visit to genetic lab, get bitten by very spiteful experimental spider. He return home feeling like monster after dat time me mistakingly ate Bert’s “special happy” brownies. And den angry Bert break ceramic lamp over monster’s head. VERY woozy. Next morning, Peter wake up wit muscles and special abilities like power of jumping, strength, agility, wall climbing, web shooting and, most important of all, power of costume design and sewing. Oh, and like all real life spiders, he possess spidey sense dat warn him of danger.

Peter enter amateur wrestling match to earn $300 for new second hand car but promoter rip him off. He upset. So upset dat when robber steals from promoter, Peter doesn’t use his superpowers to stop him. Dis be very bad decision becuz robber den carjack and kill Peter’s uncle Ben. Peter realize “Wit great power come great responsibility (and chicks, but dat come later)” so he embark on life as crime fighter – and freelance newspaper photographer since he, coinsidentally, always able to snap great pictures of webhead.

Meanwhile, Harry Osorne, father of Peter’s best friend, Mopey McBoring, under pressure from military, tests super chemikal on himself even tho his assistant warn him dat side effects on rats include violence, aggression and eventually insanity. Insanity? How exaktly to tell violent, aggressive insane rats from violent, aggressive sane ones? Monster not sure but, den again, me not rat expert.

Anyway, yep, Harry go insane. He makes his own supervillain outfit, jump on experimental glider, and go on killing spree – first military officials who pressure him, den board of his company, Oscorp, when dey try to force him out. He get nickname…De Green Goblin!

Spiderman and Green Goblin clash. Green Goblin want to be his friend but Spiderman say no. Apparently, he already have enuf friends. Green Goblin upset and, after finding out Spiderman is really Peter Parker, he put Aunt May in de hospital, den kidnap Peter’s secret crush, MJ. Big fight! Green Goblin unmask hisself, den get impaled by his own glider.

To spare his best friend finding out his dad really Gren Goblin, Spiderman take Harry’s body back to de Osborne home and put him in bed, presoomably so people will assume he died of natural causes. ie. Natural stab wounds.

Movie end wit MJ revealing she love Peter but Peter not want to put her in danger so he tell her he can only be her friend.

Maybe friend with benefits.

Overall, monster like dis movie a lot. Great performances, especially by super-creepy Willem Dafoe and scene-stealing J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson. Kirsten Dunst less convincing as young MJ and monster never really buy her falling in love wit Peter at end. If she be type of girl dat go out wit a lunkhead like Flash Thompson in beginning of movie, den she NOT de type of girl to go out wit nerd like Peter Parker at end of movie.

Visual effekts not bad but kind of dated. Most of de time, de CG look like footage from a video game. A very good video game, but still.

Biggest disappointment for monster was bulky Green Goblin costume dat look sillier den Grover’s Slave Princess Leia outfit.

Verdikt: Solid skript and movie. VFX a bit dated and Green Goblin costume super lame but overall dese small complaints.

Rating: 9 out of 10 chocolate chippee cookies.

Sneak preview of next week’s Supermovie of de Week Club selection: Daredevil!

Hmmm. It supposed to look like de ole Night Man t.v. series?

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August 14, 2012

Photos: Dinner, Maryanne, Akemi, dessert at Cadeaux Bakery, Stargate: Atlantis


Damnit! I forgot about the live chat we were supposed to do. I’d like to give everyone a 24 hour reminder. How’s tomorrow night for you guys? 9:00 p.m. EST, 6:00 PST? [correction]

Akemi and I went out with Rob and Hillary last night. We discussed a lot of strategy – and ate a fair amount of sushi. And then some.

Then, today, I was downtown and met up with blog regular, Maryanne, who was in town visiting. We, of course, ended up doing the food truck tour...

And then capping things off with dessert at Cadeaux Bakery.

Hey, Maryanne, nice meeting you – and thanks for keeping up. Enjoy the rest of your stay in Van!

Days of Stargate: Atlantis past continues...

ECHOES (312)

Here we go again. Carl Binder and his damn ghosts. Or variations thereof. While members of the Atlantis expedition start seeing (long) dead people roaming the corridors of the city, McKay’s whale-watching yields some interesting findings on Lantian whale behavior and coronal mass ejections. Although the stakes are extremely high, the episode itself delivers a nice balance of action, humor, and memorable character moments (who’d have thunk Rodney would have a soft spot for alien marine mammals?).

Although Carl wrote the script, he received uncredited input from his brilliant daughter – and by brilliant, I do mean brilliant. The proud owner of a Ph.D in Astronomy, she provided insights, information, and admonishments on many a story. We always walked the line between science and science fiction on the show and having someone like Carl’s daughter to rely on invariably made that line all the more narrow.

We ended up saving the planet – and the whales in this episode. In a later episode, the planet comes under threat again. When we were spinning this episode, we suggested that Atlantis take flight and abandon the planet. Exec Producer Robert Cooper hated the idea given the effort we had put in to saving the whales in this episode. After much heated discussion, I offered a creative solution. Since these were alien whales, we had no way of knowing what type of defense systems they possessed. So, what if, as Atlantis is flying away, they pick up movement on their short-range sensors. They bring the image up on screen in time to catch the winged whales sail up out of the water and fly away in search of another world. Martin Gero dubbed them “whangels”. Sadly, they did not make the final cut.

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August 15, 2012


See you in the comments section at 6:00 PST, 9:00 EST. I’m feeling chatty!