01st Place - "Oh My God, it's grotesque! ... Oh, and there's something in a jar..." (50)
02nd Place - "Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90-pound girl. 'Cause I don't think that's ever getting old." (50)
03rd Place - "Were I unwed I would take you in a manly fashion." (50)
04th Place - "I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar." (50)
05th Place - "Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh... now die!" (50)
06th Place - "Oh my God we're all doomed. WHO'S FLYING THIS THING?!?! .... Oh... that would be me!" (50)
07th Place - "We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... 'This Land'. " (50)
08th Place - "I've been in a firefight. Well, I was in a fire. Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity." (50)
09th Place - (To Jayne) "How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious." (50)
10th Place - "A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything." (About Jayne's hat.) (50)
11th Place - "Ah!!! Ahhhh!!! Mal! Dead army buddy's on the bridge!" (50)
12th Place - "We gotta go to the crappie town where I'm a hero." (50)
13th Place - "Oh god, oh god we're all going to die?" [On the definition of interesting.] (50)
14th Place - "You want a slinky dress? I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I have money for a slinky dress?" (50)
15th Place - "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" (50)
16th Place - "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?" (50)
17th Place - "Yes, Jayne, she's a witch. She's had congress with the beast." (50)
18th Place - "That sounds like something out of science fiction." (50)
19th Place - "Do not fear me. Ours is a peaceful race, and we must live in harmony..." (50)
20th Place - "You know, it's all very sweet. Stealing from the rich, selling to the poor." (50)
21st Place - Kaylee: "Cap'n seem a little... funny to you at breakfast this morning?" Wash: "Come on, Kaylee. We all know I'm the funny one." (50)
22nd Place - Jayne: "You wanna go, little man?" Wash: "Only if it's someplace with candlelight." (50)
23rd Place - "Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower, somewhat less attractive now she's all corpsified and gross..." (50)
24th Place - "I can always say I was flying the ship by accident." (50)
25th Place - [i'm married to] a w-w-woman who could kill me with her p-pinkie... (50)
26th Place - "Yeah, we should start dealing in those black-market beagles." (50)
- "Have you seen what she wears? Forget about it. Have you ever been with a warrior woman?" (43)
- "Right. Because teenage pranks are fun when you're about to die" (3)
- ''Can I mop your brow? I am at the ready with the fearsome brow-mop.'' (8)
- "Could we maybe vote on the whole killing people issue?" (41)
- "Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90 pound girl 'cause.... I don't think that's ever getting old." (14)
02nd Place - "Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90-pound girl. 'Cause I don't think that's ever getting old." (50)
03rd Place - "Were I unwed I would take you in a manly fashion." (50)
04th Place - "I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar." (50)
05th Place - "Ha ha HA! Mine is an evil laugh... now die!" (50)
06th Place - "Oh my God we're all doomed. WHO'S FLYING THIS THING?!?! .... Oh... that would be me!" (50)
07th Place - "We will rule over all this land, and we will call it... 'This Land'. " (50)
08th Place - "I've been in a firefight. Well, I was in a fire. Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity." (50)
09th Place - (To Jayne) "How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just so curious." (50)
10th Place - "A man walks down the street in that hat, people know he's not afraid of anything." (About Jayne's hat.) (50)
11th Place - "Ah!!! Ahhhh!!! Mal! Dead army buddy's on the bridge!" (50)
12th Place - "We gotta go to the crappie town where I'm a hero." (50)
13th Place - "Oh god, oh god we're all going to die?" [On the definition of interesting.] (50)
14th Place - "You want a slinky dress? I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I have money for a slinky dress?" (50)
15th Place - "Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!" (50)
16th Place - "Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?" (50)
17th Place - "Yes, Jayne, she's a witch. She's had congress with the beast." (50)
18th Place - "That sounds like something out of science fiction." (50)
19th Place - "Do not fear me. Ours is a peaceful race, and we must live in harmony..." (50)
20th Place - "You know, it's all very sweet. Stealing from the rich, selling to the poor." (50)
21st Place - Kaylee: "Cap'n seem a little... funny to you at breakfast this morning?" Wash: "Come on, Kaylee. We all know I'm the funny one." (50)
22nd Place - Jayne: "You wanna go, little man?" Wash: "Only if it's someplace with candlelight." (50)
23rd Place - "Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower, somewhat less attractive now she's all corpsified and gross..." (50)
24th Place - "I can always say I was flying the ship by accident." (50)
25th Place - [i'm married to] a w-w-woman who could kill me with her p-pinkie... (50)
26th Place - "Yeah, we should start dealing in those black-market beagles." (50)
- "Have you seen what she wears? Forget about it. Have you ever been with a warrior woman?" (43)
- "Right. Because teenage pranks are fun when you're about to die" (3)
- ''Can I mop your brow? I am at the ready with the fearsome brow-mop.'' (8)
- "Could we maybe vote on the whole killing people issue?" (41)
- "Start with the part where Jayne gets knocked out by a 90 pound girl 'cause.... I don't think that's ever getting old." (14)
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