01st - Jayne: "Let's be bad guys!" (50)
02nd - Jayne: "The living legend needs eggs!" (50)
03rd - Jayne: "Yeah and if wishes were horses we'd all be eating steak!" (50)
04th - Jayne: "What'd you all order a dead guy for?" (50)
05th - Jayne: "You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til ya understand who's in ruttin' command here." (50)
06th - Jayne: "Well, what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar." (50)
07th - Jayne: "Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into nuthin'...carry the nuthin'..." (50)
08th - Jayne: "These are stone killers, little man. They ain't cuddly like me." (50)
09th - Jayne: "Cause I don't know these folks, don't much care to." Mal: "They're whores." Jayne: "I'm in." (50)
10th - Jayne: "She has a name. I call her Vera." (50)
11th - Jayne: "Smellin' a lot of "if" comin' off this plan." (50)
12th - Jayne: "I don't wanna explode!" (50)
13th - Jayne: "Dear Diary... today I was pompous and my sister was crazy." (flips page) "Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever." (50)
14th - Jayne: "Time for some thrilling heroics." (50)
15th - Jayne: (About his hat) "Pretty cunning, don't cha think?" (50)
16th - Jayne: "I married me a powerful ugly creature." (50)
17th - Jayne: "Boy it shure would be nice to have some grenades right about now doncha think?" (50)
18th - Jayne: "Little Kaylee's always one man short." (50)
19th - Jayne: "My muscular buttocks it's forty!" (50)
20th - Jayne: "I'll be in my bunk." (50)
21st - Jayne: "See, Vera? Dress yourself up you get taken out somewhere fun." (50)
22nd - Jayne to prisoner: "I'm just gonna start cuttin on ya.... " (50)
23rd - Jayne: "She [River] is starting to damage my calm." (50)
24th - Jayne: "No, not now that she's a... a killer woman, we oughta be bringing her tea and dumplings!" (50)
25th - Jayne: "How big a room?" (50)
26th - Zoe: "Do you really think any of us are gonna get through this?" Jayne: "Well I might." (50)
27th - Jayne: "I'll kill a man in a fair fight. Or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight. Or if he bothers me. Or if there's a woman. Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly when I'm gettin' paid." (50)
28th - Mal: "Looks can be deceiving." Jayne: "Not as deceiving as a lowdown, dirty... deceiver." (50)
29th - Jayne: "Shepherd Book used to tell me, 'Can't do somethin' smart, do somethin' right'." (50)
30th - Jayne: "If I could make you purtier, I would." (50)
31st - Jayne: "Eating people alive? Where's that get fun?" (50)
32nd - Jayne: "You shoot me if they take me!" (Mal points gun at his leg) "Well don't shoot me first!" (50)
33rd - Jayne: "Can I start getting sexed already?" (50)
- Jayne: "A trade!? Hell, it's theft! This is the best damn gun made by man. It has extreme sentimental value. It's miles more worthy than what you got." (30)
- Jayne: "Captain says you're to stay put. Doesn't want you runnin' afoul of his blushin' psychotic bride. She figures out who you are, she'll turn you in 'fore you can say... 'don't turn me in, lady'." (21)
- Jayne: "I don't know. You think we should be using my fame to hoodwink folks?" (10)
- Jayne: "Shake your head boy, your eyes are stuck." (23)
- Jayne: "Whoop! My John Thomas is about to pop off and fly around the room, there's so much tasty here. Ooh!" (5)
-Jayne: "Damn yokels can't tell a transport ship ain't got no guns on it haha! Blow a new crater in this moon....HAHAHAHA!" (4)
- Jayne: "That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth." (2)
- Jayne: "What're you gonna do, clone 'im?" (while looking at Mal's severed ear) (1)
02nd - Jayne: "The living legend needs eggs!" (50)
03rd - Jayne: "Yeah and if wishes were horses we'd all be eating steak!" (50)
04th - Jayne: "What'd you all order a dead guy for?" (50)
05th - Jayne: "You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til ya understand who's in ruttin' command here." (50)
06th - Jayne: "Well, what you plan and what takes place ain't ever exactly been similar." (50)
07th - Jayne: "Ten percent of nuthin' is...let me do the math here...nuthin' into nuthin'...carry the nuthin'..." (50)
08th - Jayne: "These are stone killers, little man. They ain't cuddly like me." (50)
09th - Jayne: "Cause I don't know these folks, don't much care to." Mal: "They're whores." Jayne: "I'm in." (50)
10th - Jayne: "She has a name. I call her Vera." (50)
11th - Jayne: "Smellin' a lot of "if" comin' off this plan." (50)
12th - Jayne: "I don't wanna explode!" (50)
13th - Jayne: "Dear Diary... today I was pompous and my sister was crazy." (flips page) "Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever." (50)
14th - Jayne: "Time for some thrilling heroics." (50)
15th - Jayne: (About his hat) "Pretty cunning, don't cha think?" (50)
16th - Jayne: "I married me a powerful ugly creature." (50)
17th - Jayne: "Boy it shure would be nice to have some grenades right about now doncha think?" (50)
18th - Jayne: "Little Kaylee's always one man short." (50)
19th - Jayne: "My muscular buttocks it's forty!" (50)
20th - Jayne: "I'll be in my bunk." (50)
21st - Jayne: "See, Vera? Dress yourself up you get taken out somewhere fun." (50)
22nd - Jayne to prisoner: "I'm just gonna start cuttin on ya.... " (50)
23rd - Jayne: "She [River] is starting to damage my calm." (50)
24th - Jayne: "No, not now that she's a... a killer woman, we oughta be bringing her tea and dumplings!" (50)
25th - Jayne: "How big a room?" (50)
26th - Zoe: "Do you really think any of us are gonna get through this?" Jayne: "Well I might." (50)
27th - Jayne: "I'll kill a man in a fair fight. Or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight. Or if he bothers me. Or if there's a woman. Or if I'm gettin' paid. Mostly when I'm gettin' paid." (50)
28th - Mal: "Looks can be deceiving." Jayne: "Not as deceiving as a lowdown, dirty... deceiver." (50)
29th - Jayne: "Shepherd Book used to tell me, 'Can't do somethin' smart, do somethin' right'." (50)
30th - Jayne: "If I could make you purtier, I would." (50)
31st - Jayne: "Eating people alive? Where's that get fun?" (50)
32nd - Jayne: "You shoot me if they take me!" (Mal points gun at his leg) "Well don't shoot me first!" (50)
33rd - Jayne: "Can I start getting sexed already?" (50)
- Jayne: "A trade!? Hell, it's theft! This is the best damn gun made by man. It has extreme sentimental value. It's miles more worthy than what you got." (30)
- Jayne: "Captain says you're to stay put. Doesn't want you runnin' afoul of his blushin' psychotic bride. She figures out who you are, she'll turn you in 'fore you can say... 'don't turn me in, lady'." (21)
- Jayne: "I don't know. You think we should be using my fame to hoodwink folks?" (10)
- Jayne: "Shake your head boy, your eyes are stuck." (23)
- Jayne: "Whoop! My John Thomas is about to pop off and fly around the room, there's so much tasty here. Ooh!" (5)
-Jayne: "Damn yokels can't tell a transport ship ain't got no guns on it haha! Blow a new crater in this moon....HAHAHAHA!" (4)
- Jayne: "That's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth." (2)
- Jayne: "What're you gonna do, clone 'im?" (while looking at Mal's severed ear) (1)
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