She's trying to change him

[FallenAngelII]

There yet to be a thread about this, so I thought I whip one up.

Very few people seem to make note of how much Jennifer is trying to change Rodney. She gave Rodney tons of disapproving looks in this episode and talked down on his behavior several times. She also actively tried to change him in several ways.

Umm... what? She's been deeply in love with him "for a very long time"... but it's not really him she's in love with but the him he can be after she's through with changing him? Sounds like true love to me.

And then Rodney is all complacent and willing to change his personality in several ways just because she wants him to. No, no, Mr. Smartest Man in Two Galaxies.

If she truly loves you, she'll just have to deal with it. It's not like Rodney's qualities are really, really bad. In fact, he was right about everything he said.

Jennifer even disapproved (seemingly) of him wanting at least partial credit for saving the day when he so clearly did. She seemed unable to grasp why it was important. Why? Because some hack who stole his ideas from Rodney just got the credit for saving the day when that was also stolen from Rodney. Meanwhile, Rodney was considered to be either dead or discredited for years.

Someone should not get to reap the benefits of others without punishment. But, apparently, that was too surreal of a concept for Jennifer and Rodney seemed apologetic for wanting the credit, as if it was a bad thing.

No, no, Ms. Keller. Love him for who he is, not who you want him to be! Because that's not loving the man unconditionally at all!

[ykickamoocow]

Yes but deep down i think McKay wants to be changed.

[FallenAngelII]

Yes but deep down i think McKay wants to be changed.

Everyone else on Atlantis seems to not want him to change. They know that his "arrogance" isn't really arrogance at all since his high image of himself is 100% correct. He is just that intelligent.

Rodney shouldn't want to be changed. If his personality puts some people off, then so be it. If people will let first impressions shape their entire relationship with someone, then they're not worth your time.

Not everyone has to be friends.

[Jackie]

LOL...the writers love to change Rodney. Make him into the "always right" boob that is always afflicted by another character in some shape or form. It's nothing new.

As far as "deep down inside he wants to change." Oh, come on! If he wants to change he will do it on his own.

[ToasterOnFire]

Since TPTB either love to show McKay acting immaturely or show growth one ep only to have him revert to immaturity the next, I won't be surprised if Keller is relegated to McKay's keeper - rolling her eyes, crossing her arms, trying to keep him in line, hell even promising nookie if he behaves himself. O_O

[Ikaros]

It's not changing him, it's bringing his better self on.What is wrong with that? People that love you are usually the ones that are hurting you, by pointing out your mistakes and your flaws.

[Vala_M]

Good point, I didn't notice that. I thought she just wanted him to be polite at the event.

Vala,

[fumblesmcstupid]

Rodney??

Polite???

Oh Whew!

I just laughed so hard It hurt!

Oh good one!

[Pandora's_Box]

Hmmm... now I know I didn't like this episode and how this whole romance came about, but I'm sitting here and thinking if Jennifer attempting to change him was, in fact, just that, or whether it was a well-intentioned act of love. After all, those that love us are often in the best position to help us lessen our flaws, and as much as we may find Rodney's arrogance endearing, he is not without his flaws.

His genius does not exempt him from exhibiting general good manners nor does it excuse him from being unnecessarily rude. I think Jennifer saw the man she loved as, not needing to be changed, but as misunderstood and resented by his peers and thought maybe she could make it easier for him to get along with other people.

I'm in full agreement that if she truly loves him than she should love him warts and all, but that doesn't mean that if she sees Rodney do something wrong or treat a person badly she shouldn't point it out or try to help him temper whatever bad habits he has.

Love is supposed to better a person. I think Jennifer was just trying to help him, not transform him into Prince Charming.

[Ikaros]

She was just protecting him from people's "socially sensitive" eyes. If that makes any sense in english.....

[Cory Holmes]

Maybe she was trying to change him at the start and middle of the episode, but at the end he did point out that "this is who I am" and she seemed to accept that.

[FallenAngelII]

It's not changing him, it's bringing his better self on.What is wrong with that? People that love you are usually the ones that are hurting you, by pointing out your mistakes and your flaws.

His better self? Wait... what? How is it not changing when she tells him to stop acting how he's always acted and act in an entirely new way? How is that bringing out his better self? It's not a part of him!

Stuff.

This would be credible in my eyes if she hadn't rolled her eyes, looked uncomfortable and disapproving and all that all throughout the episode.

I interpreted it as her disapproving of his behavior and wanting to change him to suit how she wants him to be. After all, he was right all along. Everything he said was the truth. If people don't want to believe him, that's their loss.

Maybe she was trying to change him at the start and middle of the episode, but at the end he did point out that "this is who I am" and she seemed to accept that.

Doesn't change the fact that she tried to change him to begin with. That's not unconditional love.

[Cory Holmes]

Doesn't change the fact that she tried to change him to begin with. That's not unconditional love.

Yeah and he called her on it. He put up with it for her until he couldn't any longer and she seemed to realize it when he stopped her.

[Crazedwraith]

On the one hand, you're right. She is trying to change him and I can see thing going badly in the relationship if she keeps it up.

On the other hand its not a unrealistic aspect to a relationship; lots of people like to think they can change their partner. Furthermore, relationships to a certain extent should be about change: neither partner can have it all their own way they have to compromise to make it work.

Finally, the idea that Rodney's arrogance is always accurate and totally reasonable its utterly laughable. Security =/= Arrogance. One can be a genius and not be an arrogant git. Take Carter for example.

Ironically, the last ful episode I watched of SGA was "The Tao Of Rodney" an episode that starts of with him betting everyone a month's pay that he can fix something from the control room. He can't. Then he goes double or nothing, when he tries to fix a console and it explodes in his face and zaps with a potential lethal beam.

[Dwparsnip]

Perhaps changing him is not her intention at all.

Perhaps what we've seen so far is more her ability to not take any crap from Rodney.

Spoiler:

The scene in the airplane is the perfect example.

He says that he's been thinking about leaving the SGC and joining the private sector, to which her reply was, "What? No you haven't."

It's perfect. We all know Rodney isn't leaving Atlantis, and she knows that as well, and she called him on it.

I know we're in the Brain Storm thread but I put it spoiler tags just in case.

And even if she is, so? Everyone strives to be better than they are, whether it's better at your job, a better husband, a better mother...everyone tries to grow. Someone said once that we never stop growing inside, only outside.

Is it not conceivable that the most intelligent man in two galaxies strives to be a better person? And if so, isn't it equally conceivable (and evident) that he doesn't know how to achieve that? I've said that this relationship would work because Jenn wouldn't take Rodney's crap and appears to be able to lead rather than follow in a relationship, which is what Rodney needs and why Rodney and Katie failed, as Katie was more timid than looked to Rodney to lead.