Joke of the Day

[epg20]

this was the VERY first joke I EVER told, I was about 3 or 4 years old at the time:

what did the fisherman say to the refrigerator, open up and let me put my fish inside

my mom and sisters never let me forget this, they laughed for one reason then for another, but it WAS a successful joke, for me a laugh was a laugh.happy0030.gif

[Falcon Horus]

***

One of my sister's colleagues always sends jokes in their whatsapp group. They vary in quality but today he did sent a pretty funny one, though at the expense of one particular president (I'm afraid).

There's an airplane with 5 passengers onboard: Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Angela Merkel, Pope Frances and a 10-year old boy. The airplane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachutes onboard.

Trump says: "I need one. I'm the smartest man in the US and they need me to solve all the problems in the world." -- so he takes one of the chutes and jumps out of the plane.

Johnson says: "I have to go and rebuild Great Britain after Brexit." -- so he takes one and jumps.

Pope Frances: "I need one too because the world needs the Catholic Church." -- so he too grabs a chute and jumps out of the plane.

This leaves Merkel and the boy. Merkel says to him: "You may have the last parachute. I have lived my life, while yours is only starting."

To which the 10-year old replies: "Don't worry, there are still 2 parachutes left. The smartest man of the US took my schoolbag instead."

[Annoyed]

***

One of my sister's colleagues always sends jokes in their whatsapp group. They vary in quality but today he did sent a pretty funny one, though at the expense of one particular president (I'm afraid).

There's an airplane with 5 passengers onboard: Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, Angela Merkel, Pope Frances and a 10-year old boy. The airplane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachutes onboard.

Trump says: "I need one. I'm the smartest man in the US and they need me to solve all the problems in the world." -- so he takes one of the chutes and jumps out of the plane.

Johnson says: "I have to go and rebuild Great Britain after Brexit." -- so he takes one and jumps.

Pope Frances: "I need one too because the world needs the Catholic Church." -- so he too grabs a chute and jumps out of the plane.

This leaves Merkel and the boy. Merkel says to him: "You may have the last parachute. I have lived my life, while yours is only starting."

To which the 10-year old replies: "Don't worry, there are still 2 parachutes left. The smartest man of the US took my schoolbag instead."

But to be fair, I heard that somewhere about a year ago.

[Gatefan1976]

Q: Why did the coffee post a police report?






A: it got mugged.

[Falcon Horus]

Q: Why did the coffee post a police report?
A: it got mugged.

Good thing my sister is already awake cause if she wasn't, she definitely would have been after my burst of laughter just now.

[Gatefan1976]

As a door might say, "glad to be of service"

[mad_gater]

But to be fair, I heard that somewhere about a year ago.

oh it's an oldie...I think I heard a variant with obviously different people in it way back when I was in Boy Scouts

[Gatefan1976]

I don't think I have ever seen anyone here post something from "who's line is it anyway" It's a stand up comedy show which first started in England then migrated to the US after many years. Most of the content is clean, but, as behoves me you can hunt up on YouTube a lot of out-takes and foul language stuff. I just saw this snippet of a show (one of the more recent ones) and I wanted to share. As it jumps right in, The Idea of the game is to get 2 audience members to "donate" their texting history and the 2 people on the left and right can ONLY answer with texts from that phone. the guy in the middle (Collin) has to respond to them.

[epg20]

what did the man say to the window

I can see right through you

what did the window say to the man,

nothing when the window started to talk the man fainted dead away.

[Falcon Horus]

Did you hear about the first guy to invent garden shears?

It was cutting-hedge technology.

[Annoyed]

Did you hear about the first guy to invent garden shears?

It was cutting-hedge technology.

Damn. We're gonna need a bigger rack.

[epg20]

with the corona virus you always sweat the small stuff....

[epg20]

Damn. We're gonna need a bigger rack.

is this one big enough.

128747446-server-racks-in-server-room-cloud-data-center-exit-door-datacenter-hardware-cluster-ba.jpg


the one I actually wanted use was a different one, but she would have ben WAY too top heavy.

[Annoyed]

is this one big enough.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]43079[/ATTACH]


the one I actually wanted use was a different one, but she would have ben WAY too top heavy.

How would you go about stretching her on that? I don't see any sort of mechanism for doing that. Kinda defeats the purpose.

[Falcon Horus]

Damn. We're gonna need a bigger rack.

Hit or miss...

This made me chuckle earlier today:

Wife asked me to pass her some lipstick, but I accidently passed her some Prit-stick. She still isn't talking to me.