Joke of the Day

[Falcon Horus]

Just received this from a colleague...

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[epg20]

How would you go about stretching her on that? I don't see any sort of mechanism for doing that. Kinda defeats the purpose.

are you kidding, you can stretch a person to at least five hundred terabytes with that kind of computing power.

[Gatefan1976]

If you don't like foul language, don't click.
If you like fart jokes, click. I'll leave it to you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQAjGGAnzh0

[Annoyed]

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.

[Falcon Horus]

***

Have been absent with jokes but I'd like to share a twitter account here which has been giving me smiles for a couple of weeks now. Have already posted some of his hit-and-miss jokes but he has plenty more to share each day: BigBearF1

[Annoyed]

The Babylon Bee is usually a pretty good satire site, but they blew this one, big time.

It's just not believable. There is no way you're gonna find a hottie like that shopping at Walmart.

'I Can't Believe Christians Think It's Safe To Go Back To Church,' Says Woman In Line At Walmart

[Gatefan1976]

Via my daughter..........

Q: How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb?

A:

Spoiler:

None, the would shoot it for being dark instead.