Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 67

Thread: Joke of the Day

Hybrid View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #1
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2004
    Location
    ...out there...
    Posts
    34,912

    Talking Joke of the Day

    I was going to call it the "I am bored so tell me something funny" thread but then decided against it and went with Joke of the Day.

    We can always use something funny to cheer ourselves up, or to forget about the hardships of daily life.
    After all laughter is one of the best tools we have for dealing with stress... and science even backs that up.

    Here are 6 reasons to proof the benefits of laughter to your body and mind:

    Laughter is a potent endorphin releaser.
    Scientific studies have shown that laughing with others releases endorphins in the brain—our homegrown feel-good chemicals—via opioid receptors. The more opioid receptors a given person has in their brain, the more powerful the effect. Highly addictive opioid drugs, like heroin, also bind to those receptors, suggesting that laughter induces euphoria not unlike a narcotic (minus the obvious drawbacks).

    Laughter contagiously forms social bonds.
    The endorphin effect described above also explains why social laughter is so contagious. Spreading endorphin release through groups promotes a sense of togetherness and safety. Each brain in a social unit is a transmitter of those feelings, which triggers the feel-goods in other brains via laughter. It’s like a game of endorphin dominoes. That’s why when someone starts laughing, others will laugh even if they’re not sure what everyone is laughing about.

    Laughter fosters brain connectivity.
    Not all laughter is the same. For example, joyous laughter versus taunting laughter versus tickling laughter, each of which activates connections between different brain regions. What this all amounts to is that laughter fosters rigorous brain-region connectivity that kicks in when we hear a laugh, as our brains work to decipher what sort of communication is coming through.

    Laughter is central to relationships.
    A study showed that women laughed about 126% more than their male counterparts, while men seem to instigate laughter the most—and there’s an interesting application of those results to how relationships form and are maintained. Women typically rate a sense of humor as a top-three trait for a potential mate. Men tend to rate women who laugh a lot (i.e. laugh at their jokes) higher than those who don't. It's no surprise, then, that couples who laugh together report having higher-quality relationships. Laughter is a nonnegotiable for all involved.

    Laughter has an effect similar to antidepressants.
    Laughing activates the release of the neurotransmitter serotonin, the same brain chemical affected by the most common types of antidepressants, SSRIs. It’s not clear from the research how long this effect sticks around, but the burst of brain activity laughing triggers is undoubtedly potent, at least for short periods of time.

    Laughter protects your heart.
    Research has shown that laughter has an anti-inflammatory effect that protects blood vessels and heart muscles from the damaging effects of cardiovascular disease. How this happens isn't entirely understood, but it seems related to lessening the body’s stress response, which is directly linked to increased inflammation. Regular, hearty laughter should probably be part of every heart disease prevention program.

    So without further ado, let us start by laying down some ground rules:

    1. In line with the new Gateworld Forum Vision 2020 rules, we should refrain from posting politically inspired or religion inspired cartoons.

    2. Respect one another

    3. We all have different tastes of humor, so what may be funny for you might not be for someone else so always try to post in good taste. If you see something that you might construe as offensive, report that post to Bagpuss (or generally the moderators, whomever they may be these days).

    4. This is not a thread meant to make fun of others, so refrain from mocking people in whatever form.

    5. Remember this place is rated PG-13 so adjust your funny posts accordingly.

    6. Images, videos, gifs, meme's, text, ... inspirational quotes (preferably of the funny kind) ...all are welcome. Even suggestions for books that make you laugh from start to finish.
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  2. #2
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2004
    Location
    ...out there...
    Posts
    34,912

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    I'll start it off with a joke I caught on twitter this morning:

    Q: Who's a penguin's favorite family member?

    Spoiler:
    A: Aunt Arctica
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  3. #3
    Lieutenant Colonel Az'ryel's Avatar
    Member Since
    Nov 2012
    Location
    between the dark and the light
    Posts
    4,338

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    hmm I like that idea FH

    Q: What does a zombie call his parents?

    Spoiler:
    A: Mummy and Deady

  4. #4
    Lieutenant Colonel SoulReaver's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Yurp
    Posts
    4,351

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Az'ryel View Post
    hmm I like that idea FH

    Q: What does a zombie call his parents?

    Spoiler:
    A: Mummy and Deady
    speaking of there's this old asian proverb


    Confucius say: woman laid in tomb, may become mummy



    Quote Originally Posted by jelgate View Post
    Soul is right.

  5. #5
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2004
    Location
    ...out there...
    Posts
    34,912

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by SoulReaver View Post
    Confucius say: woman laid in tomb, may become mummy


    ****

    Star Wars themed one, as seen by my sister on Facebook:
    Therefore will probably only make sense if you're familiar with the franchise, and the character."

    Darth Vader to Emperor Palpatine: "You know how Mace died, right?"
    Emperor Palpatine: "Yes. He jumped out of the Windu."

    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  6. #6
    Lieutenant Colonel SoulReaver's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Yurp
    Posts
    4,351

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    did you type those * or did something get censored? -_-

    Quote Originally Posted by Falcon Horus View Post

    Darth Vader to Emperor Palpatine: "You know how Mace died, right?"
    Emperor Palpatine: "Yes. He jumped out of the Windu."

    strong in this one, the farce is



    ok full circle for an SG themed one

    you know you watch too much SG1 when...



































    ...you tell your dog to bow before his god


    Quote Originally Posted by jelgate View Post
    Soul is right.

  7. #7
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2004
    Location
    ...out there...
    Posts
    34,912

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by SoulReaver View Post
    did you type those * or did something get censored? -_-
    Those are mine. No censoring.

    Quote Originally Posted by SoulReaver View Post
    ok full circle for an SG themed one
    Ha... wait, I actually might have done that.

    --------

    An animal joke...

    What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?

    Spoiler:
    It gets toad away.
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  8. #8
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2004
    Location
    ...out there...
    Posts
    34,912

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    @ Az'ryel -- gonna share that with my colleagues in a second...

    Fun Fact of the Day

    The hashtag symbol is technically called an octothorpe.

    According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the "octo-" prefix refers to the eight points on the popular symbol, but the "thorpe" remains a mystery. One theory claims that it comes from the Old English word for "village," based on the idea that the symbol looks like a village surrounded by eight fields!
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  9. #9
    Lieutenant Colonel Az'ryel's Avatar
    Member Since
    Nov 2012
    Location
    between the dark and the light
    Posts
    4,338

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Falcon Horus View Post
    @ Az'ryel -- gonna share that with my colleagues in a second...
    That was one of the in a book I once had filled with such jokes, I do not have the book anymore but some jokes still in my memory somewhere XD

    Like this one:

    Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?

    Spoiler:
    A: a cloud

  10. #10
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2004
    Location
    ...out there...
    Posts
    34,912

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Confucius -- man of many talents.

    So, two snowmen are talking to one another. Says the first one to the second: "You know what, it smells like carrot here."
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  11. #11
    Lieutenant Colonel SoulReaver's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Yurp
    Posts
    4,351

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Falcon Horus View Post
    Confucius -- man of many talents.
    Confucius say: man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts :|

    So, two snowmen are talking to one another. Says the first one to the second: "You know what, it smells like carrot here."
    2 eggs in a frying pan

    egg 1> "gosh it's a bit hot don't you think?"
    egg 2> "oh a talking egg!"

    (heard in back in high school...dunno why for some reason sounded funny)


    Quote Originally Posted by jelgate View Post
    Soul is right.

  12. #12
    Colonel Gatefan1976's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Smashing skulls!!
    Posts
    5,508

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    What do you call a dear with no eyes?

    Spoiler:
    No Idea


    What do you call a dear with no legs and no eyes?

    Spoiler:
    Still no Idea
    ALL THANKS TO THE WONDERFUL CREATOR OF THIS SIG GO TO R.I.G.
    A lie is just a truth that hasn't gone through conversion therapy yet
    The truth isn't the truth

  13. #13
    Lieutenant Colonel SoulReaver's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Yurp
    Posts
    4,351

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    what do you call a cow with no legs?

    Spoiler:
    ground beef


    Quote Originally Posted by jelgate View Post
    Soul is right.

  14. #14
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2004
    Location
    ...out there...
    Posts
    34,912

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    *snort*

    Cartoon today by the Belgian artist Lectrr:

    Belgium has a week off this week so many people are gone on holidays, skiing or soaking up some sun, which resulted in today's cartoon since several Belgians are currently quarantined in a Tenerife hotel, due to Corona virus infections among other guests (so far 3 confirmed ones).



    Translation: Vacation (on the left) in the Alps, (on the right) on Tenerife.
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  15. #15
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2004
    Location
    ...out there...
    Posts
    34,912

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

    Spoiler:
    Because it's pointless.
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  16. #16
    Lieutenant Colonel SoulReaver's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Yurp
    Posts
    4,351

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Confucius say: man's wife his better half, man's mistress his better whole


    Quote Originally Posted by jelgate View Post
    Soul is right.

  17. #17
    Captain
    Member Since
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    1,338

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    A joke frmo recent Israeli elections:

    My friends' eldest son wears a T-shirt that says "I'm with Netanyahu". He has been yelled at, cursed, spit on, he even had rotten tomatoes thrown at him. I'm very concerned about him: what if he leaves the house in that shirt?
    If Algeria introduced a resolution declaring that the earth was flat and that Israel had flattened it, it would pass by a vote of 164 to 13 with 26 abstentions.- Abba Eban.

  18. #18
    Major Annoyed's Avatar
    Member Since
    Dec 2014
    Location
    The People's Republic of New York
    Posts
    2,867

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    "It may seem pointless but small talk is a vital dating skill. It helps to establish a rapport with your companion."
    - Starship Voyager's Holographic Doctor
    "Perhaps there's something to be said for assimilation after all."
    - Former Borg Seven of Nine

  19. #19
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2004
    Location
    ...out there...
    Posts
    34,912

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Womble View Post
    My friends' eldest son wears a T-shirt that says "I'm with Netanyahu". He has been yelled at, cursed, spit on, he even had rotten tomatoes thrown at him. I'm very concerned about him: what if he leaves the house in that shirt?


    ****

    LOL @ Annoyed -- very to the point...

    ****

    Q: What do computers eat for a snack?

    Spoiler:
    A: Microchips!
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  20. #20
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2004
    Location
    ...out there...
    Posts
    34,912

    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Cartoon of the 10th of March from The New Yorker -- playgrounds in times of the COVID19-virus.
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 21
    Last Post: March 30th, 2009, 05:08 AM
  2. Is this just a joke?
    By stargatelvr in forum Stargate Atlantis
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: October 26th, 2008, 10:49 AM
  3. Post a Joke.
    By plaw15 in forum Off-Topic Chatter
    Replies: 102
    Last Post: December 1st, 2007, 05:51 PM
  4. OK, the joke is Over.....
    By biggwater in forum General Stargate Discussion
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: April 29th, 2006, 02:36 PM
  5. Is Baal becoming a joke?
    By TPL2005 in forum Stargate SG-1
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: February 15th, 2006, 11:10 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •