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Thread: Joke of the Day

  1. #21
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Womble View Post
    My friends' eldest son wears a T-shirt that says "I'm with Netanyahu". He has been yelled at, cursed, spit on, he even had rotten tomatoes thrown at him. I'm very concerned about him: what if he leaves the house in that shirt?


    ****

    LOL @ Annoyed -- very to the point...

    ****

    Q: What do computers eat for a snack?

    Spoiler:
    A: Microchips!
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  2. #22
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Cartoon of the 10th of March from The New Yorker -- playgrounds in times of the COVID19-virus.
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  3. #23
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day



    We're in closedown and I need to lighten the mood.
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  4. #24
    Major Annoyed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock
    How did you get to be an adult without having seen T.O.S. ?
    "It may seem pointless but small talk is a vital dating skill. It helps to establish a rapport with your companion."
    - Starship Voyager's Holographic Doctor
    "Perhaps there's something to be said for assimilation after all."
    - Former Borg Seven of Nine

  5. #25
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Annoyed View Post
    How did you get to be an adult without having seen T.O.S. ?
    Might be that this was way before my time. I didn't even watch all of The Next Generation, just the episodes I happen to catch on the BBC network some 30 years(?) ago... I learned English with Picard and Data.

    ***

    Confined to quarters, I bring you another joke to lighten the mood...

    Q: Why was six scared of seven?

    Spoiler:
    A: Because seven "ate" nine.
    Last edited by Falcon Horus; March 16th, 2020 at 05:24 AM.
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  6. #26
    Major Annoyed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Falcon Horus View Post
    Might be that this was way before my time. I didn't even watch all of The Next Generation, just the episodes I happen to catch on the BBC network some 30 years(?) ago... I learned English with Picard and Data.

    ***

    Confined to quarters, I bring you another joke to lighten the mood...

    Q: Why was six scared of seven?

    Spoiler:
    A: Because seven "ate" nine.
    Well, at least you can get caught up with the best version of Star Trek.

    You can also watch the original "Battlestar Galactica", and the 1st 3 & last episode of "Galactica 1980". (don't bother with the rest of G1980, it's not worth it)
    "It may seem pointless but small talk is a vital dating skill. It helps to establish a rapport with your companion."
    - Starship Voyager's Holographic Doctor
    "Perhaps there's something to be said for assimilation after all."
    - Former Borg Seven of Nine

  7. #27
    The Monitor jelgate's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    She isn't watching DS9
    Quote Originally Posted by aretood2 View Post
    Jelgate is right

  8. #28
    Major Annoyed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by jelgate View Post
    She isn't watching DS9
    That's cool. DS9 isn't the best version of ST.
    "It may seem pointless but small talk is a vital dating skill. It helps to establish a rapport with your companion."
    - Starship Voyager's Holographic Doctor
    "Perhaps there's something to be said for assimilation after all."
    - Former Borg Seven of Nine

  9. #29
    The Monitor jelgate's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    I will admit that was a funny joke
    Quote Originally Posted by aretood2 View Post
    Jelgate is right

  10. #30
    Colonel mad_gater's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day


  11. #31
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day



    TP is gonna be the butt of many jokes...
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  12. #32
    Major Annoyed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Falcon Horus View Post


    TP is gonna be the butt of many jokes...
    Off to the rack with you for that pun.

    This was the topic in a a checkout line today.. and the question arose "what else can be used for that purpose?"... Someone suggested leaves, until I pointed out that the only type of leaves you're gonna find this time of the year around are are pine needles....
    "It may seem pointless but small talk is a vital dating skill. It helps to establish a rapport with your companion."
    - Starship Voyager's Holographic Doctor
    "Perhaps there's something to be said for assimilation after all."
    - Former Borg Seven of Nine

  13. #33
    Lieutenant Colonel Platschu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Previously on Stargate : Atlantis 2020

    "Running out of toilet rolls... is distasteful."
    "I was hoping for another day. Looks like we just got a whole lot more than that. Let's not waste it."

    "Never underestimate your audience. They're generally sensitive, intelligent people who respond positively to quality entertainment."

    "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence, has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all."


    http://picasaweb.google.com/103478402021017098633

  14. #34
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Annoyed View Post
    Off to the rack with you for that pun.


    You're welcome.
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  15. #35
    Colonel mad_gater's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day


  16. #36
    Colonel mad_gater's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Annoyed View Post
    Off to the rack with you for that pun.

    This was the topic in a a checkout line today.. and the question arose "what else can be used for that purpose?"... Someone suggested leaves, until I pointed out that the only type of leaves you're gonna find this time of the year around are are pine needles....
    I'm thinking toilets with built-in bidets might start seeing an uptick in sales

  17. #37
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Have been so busy that I totally forgot about the daily joke... busy times are busy...

    Q: What kind of jokes are the CDC recommending during the Coronavirus outbreak?

    A:
    Spoiler:
    Inside jokes.
    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  18. #38
    Major Annoyed's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Falcon Horus View Post
    Have been so busy that I totally forgot about the daily joke... busy times are busy...

    Q: What kind of jokes are the CDC recommending during the Coronavirus outbreak?

    A:
    Spoiler:
    Inside jokes.
    Spoiler:
    Are you sure you didn't mean "insider trading'? Oh, wait a minute. Never mind, that was the congresscritters.
    "It may seem pointless but small talk is a vital dating skill. It helps to establish a rapport with your companion."
    - Starship Voyager's Holographic Doctor
    "Perhaps there's something to be said for assimilation after all."
    - Former Borg Seven of Nine

  19. #39
    General Falcon Horus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Quote Originally Posted by Annoyed View Post
    Spoiler:
    Are you sure you didn't mean "insider trading'? Oh, wait a minute. Never mind, that was the congresscritters.


    Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?

    A:
    Spoiler:
    Because he was outstanding in his field.

    Heightmeyer's Lemming -- still the coolest Lemming of the forum
    Proper Stargate Rewatch -- season 8 of SG-1
    First time time watching Star Trek: The Adventures of Captain Kirk and his Trusted Sidekick, Mr. Spock

  20. #40
    Colonel Gatefan1976's Avatar
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    Default Re: Joke of the Day

    Dear lord, Charlie the Choo-Choo would derail over these puns. (Blaine the monorail for the Stephen King fans)
    ALL THANKS TO THE WONDERFUL CREATOR OF THIS SIG GO TO R.I.G.
    A lie is just a truth that hasn't gone through conversion therapy yet
    The truth isn't the truth

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