Trek through the Stargate

[Spearhead]

Hi guys and girls. Now that Trek through the Stargate has taken off and I'm finishing up the 6th Chapter (Soon to be posted), I thought I'd create a a Thread on GateWorld so you can all talk about it between yourselves and with me. I want to know your likes and dislikes about the Story so far. Hopefully it will continue for around 100 chapters, maybe more, lets see how it goes. But I need a lot of feedback. Thanks - Spearhead

[Spearhead]

Well Chapter 6 of Trek through the Stargate has just been posted on fanfiction.net....I hope you all enjoy. This chapter is a short one but it will be all thats posted this month as i'll be working on Stargate: Return of the Old Ones and on a new, secret project that will start appearing in the next month or so. Don't forget to R&R, talk soon people.

[Burns]

Nice start looking foward to see were it goes

[Spearhead]

Nice start looking foward to see were it goes

Thanks for the support I'll post an update the beginning of Feb...also check out my other posted FICS

[Spearhead]

Hey, Chapter 7 has just been posted i hope you enjoy and please Review I'm also trying to get more people onto this thread...but not working out too well. Check it out on FanFiction.net

[fems]

You might want to add a link to the actual fic...

[Spearhead]

Okay, here is a link to my FanFic profile:
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/3038937/Spearhead

and here is a link to Chapter 1 of Trek through the Stargate:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7313292/...h_the_Stargate

Enjoy

[ZRFTS]

I just read through the fiction and while it is an interesting idea, I feel like it needs some work. Pointers below.

1. Explaining what the characters are thinking and what they're relating to just ruins them; I mean we're not supposed to know what these characters are thinking, we're supposed to be guessing what he's thinking. Those moments when he's looking out the bridge on the TV show, we don't know what he's thinking about; he could be thinking about his family, his past, his bad moments, we don't know. It's more fun to try to understand these characters then to have everything blurted out in front of us, even if the show already aired.
2. The entire plot could use some work; revolving it around a planet, having Stargate SG-1 visit it and then trying to work the Tollan and the Asgard into it isn't going to work. It just adds too much into the plot and convoludes it alot; instead of getting to a defining point (whether or not it'd be advanced technology or the conseqeuences regarding it or trying to form a new federation.) I feel like I'm getting three or four points where SGC is off fighting Atlantis, Picard is trying to set up a new world and deal with a massacre that both seem to gloss over and a focus on the Rhode Island which isn't as clear as I expected.
3. Most of the stuff is not grabbing me and it feels all over the place. I know that you're a fan and all but even a fan shouldn't go over the top when it comes to a crossover, make it more subtle, make it more natural. There are chances where we will see the two technologies combine but at this point you'll want to focus more about setting the mood and establishing our characters (even though they're already known) rather then going straight to the cool stuff.
4. Your Star Trek characters and Stargate characters need to connect more; right now it feels like the same old, same old. I'd like to know how Picard's humble personality would clash with O'Neill's brash personality.

It's a good idea but I don't seem to be liking the story as much as the other people. No offense but I think fanfiction like this is a poor representation of what fans can do; fans have tons of cool ideas and story ideas, I feel like they should express them in a better way that doesn't seem simplistic and actually pays respect to the show they're a fan of.

In closing, I implore you to keep on trying because this is a good idea and it does have potential; and you can exploit that if you put your mind to it.

[Spearhead]

I just read through the fiction and while it is an interesting idea, I feel like it needs some work. Pointers below.

1. Explaining what the characters are thinking and what they're relating to just ruins them; I mean we're not supposed to know what these characters are thinking, we're supposed to be guessing what he's thinking. Those moments when he's looking out the bridge on the TV show, we don't know what he's thinking about; he could be thinking about his family, his past, his bad moments, we don't know. It's more fun to try to understand these characters then to have everything blurted out in front of us, even if the show already aired.
2. The entire plot could use some work; revolving it around a planet, having Stargate SG-1 visit it and then trying to work the Tollan and the Asgard into it isn't going to work. It just adds too much into the plot and convoludes it alot; instead of getting to a defining point (whether or not it'd be advanced technology or the conseqeuences regarding it or trying to form a new federation.) I feel like I'm getting three or four points where SGC is off fighting Atlantis, Picard is trying to set up a new world and deal with a massacre that both seem to gloss over and a focus on the Rhode Island which isn't as clear as I expected.
3. Most of the stuff is not grabbing me and it feels all over the place. I know that you're a fan and all but even a fan shouldn't go over the top when it comes to a crossover, make it more subtle, make it more natural. There are chances where we will see the two technologies combine but at this point you'll want to focus more about setting the mood and establishing our characters (even though they're already known) rather then going straight to the cool stuff.
4. Your Star Trek characters and Stargate characters need to connect more; right now it feels like the same old, same old. I'd like to know how Picard's humble personality would clash with O'Neill's brash personality.

It's a good idea but I don't seem to be liking the story as much as the other people. No offense but I think fanfiction like this is a poor representation of what fans can do; fans have tons of cool ideas and story ideas, I feel like they should express them in a better way that doesn't seem simplistic and actually pays respect to the show they're a fan of.

In closing, I implore you to keep on trying because this is a good idea and it does have potential; and you can exploit that if you put your mind to it.

Well, thank you for your opinion i understand where your coming from, but this is my first Fic. I will of course add more depth and i will say that nothing is at it appears. there is no Glossing over...just wait. I tried to open this Fic to people who might not have seen the great shows. i wanted the plot to seem jumbled and confused, because i'm trying to somewhat show how the Feds are feeling. they are confused and jumbled and worried.

I have been told that i need to slow my writing down, and i agree, it'll just take time and practise. I'll show more Picard/O'Neill interactions. I am sorry if u prefer to guess a persons thoughts, but others have asked me to include some thoughts and so i have. Also as i continue writing, it will calm down and become more natural. I just wanted the beginning to seem erratic to express they're (Feds) emotional state.

I am sorry if you didn't enjoy it, but i do have other fics that you might prefer.