Walterisms - The Place for Your Favorite Walter Quotes

[LtColCarter]

Walter: either a unicorn just ran through the lab or I accidentally took some LSD

Gotta love Walter and his drugs.

[AresLover452]

lmao!! Love walter and his drugs!!

[starg8fans]

You gotta wonder how the show gets away with showing one of their leads continuously experimenting with drugs. But it does make for great entertainment. The opening scene in Os with Walter and the security guy smoking pot together was epic. And I had to listen twice to what he said to see if I had actually heard right:

Spoiler:

WALTER: I didn't realize until later. I woke up, and there she was in my bed. Yoko.
KEVIN: What did he say?
WALTER: It was the '70s. What could he say?

[AresLover452]

lmao!! I loved that bit!!

it amazes me too that the writers and the show can get away with it but.... we love them for that!! lol!

[starg8fans]

Yes, they're sure not afraid to take risks and to boldly go where nobody's gone before.

Remember the incident with the omelet in Unleashed?

WALTER: Peter, no!
PETER: Walter, we talked about sharing.
WALTER: That's not to eat. You've ruined it.
PETER: It's an omelet.
WALTER: It's not an omelet! (lifts top of item to display an ear)
PETER: Oh, my--ugh! Walter, why is there an ear in the omelet?
WALTER: It was an experiment. It was a protein-rich incubator. It was growing.
PETER: It was growing? That's perfect.
WALTER: No, it's not perfect. You just ruined it. And you could have died, had you eaten it.
PETER: You know, maybe in the future you could do me a favor and just put a sign warning me not to confuse your toxic playthings with breakfast.
WALTER: Maybe you should get your own breakfast and not poach mine.
PETER: That is hardly the point. Remember yesterday when I nearly washed my face in a sink full of acid? Or three days ago you hooked Gene up to the solar panels and I nearly electrocuted myself.
WALTER: This is a lab. You're the one who should be careful. I trust you look both ways when you cross the street.

I loved it when the Bishops were bickering like this. Too bad we hardly get exchanges like this anymore.

[AresLover452]

totally love the bickering! It was what made the show for me!! lol!

[starg8fans]

totally love the bickering! It was what made the show for me!! lol!

At least Peter still deflects Walter's more outspoken moments with sarcasm. For instance, in Marionette:


WALTER: A couple of nights ago, I used my cauterizer to remove an uncomfortable growth between my...
PETER: ... less information, better.
[...]
WALTER: I understand how difficult it is to be candid with people that you care about, uh, particularly when it concerns matters that are intimate in nature.
PETER: Ready to go?
WALTER: Yes, I am. And by intimate, I mean sexual.
PETER: Yeah, I got that.

And another Walter gem a bit later:

WALTER: He was conscious and speaking without a functional cardiovascular system?
BROYLES: It appears so.
WALTER: Lady Fortune has smiled upon us.

Only Walter could get that excited about a living, talking corpse...

[AresLover452]

Oh yes!! and that is why we love him!! lol!!

[LtColCarter]

"It's perfectly understandable, son. In the 'Seventies', I innocently wandered into the wrong home and it was three days before I realized my mistake. And unlike Olivia, the woman with whom I was sharing a bed didn't look like my wife at all."

[AresLover452]

"It's perfectly understandable, son. In the 'Seventies', I innocently wandered into the wrong home and it was three days before I realized my mistake. And unlike Olivia, the woman with whom I was sharing a bed didn't look like my wife at all."

Only Walter would take three days to realize his mistake!! lmao!! Love him!

[starg8fans]

From The Equation:

PETER: The U.S. Government had you working on mind control?
WALTER: Not the government. It was an advertising agency. They hoped to broadcast the flashing lights during commercials so that the viewers would have no choice but to buy their products. Unfortunately, it merely caused nausea. Which was unfortunate because apparently, people don't like to shop when they feel like they're going to throw up.

Only Walter can say something like this with complete detachment and a straight face. Same as the following from the same episode:

WALTER: Dashiell Kim. The man who mentioned the lights to me. I'm sure of it.
OLIVIA: Where is he Walter? Can we talk to him?
WALTER: I guess that would depend on whether he has succeeded in killing himself or not.

[AresLover452]

Peter: *staring at the lights then is brought out of it by Astrid*
Astrid: Nice look chachi...
Peter: *Has scissors in hand* Walter did you do this to me?
Walter: No, you did.

[LtColCarter]

Peter: *staring at the lights then is brought out of it by Astrid*
Astrid: Nice look chachi...
Peter: *Has scissors in hand* Walter did you do this to me?
Walter: No, you did.

[starg8fans]

Peter: *staring at the lights then is brought out of it by Astrid*
Astrid: Nice look chachi...
Peter: *Has scissors in hand* Walter did you do this to me?
Walter: No, you did.

Yup, that was a good one too.

My favorite Walter moment from Dreamscape, when he examines the guy who had jumped out of the window to get away from the butterflies:

WALTER (with a sideways glance at Peter): It's a shame I don't have a lab - I'd like to examine him.
PETER: You do have a lab, Walter. Your lab at Harvard.
WALTER (with a sly smirk): Yes, I do, don't I?

I loved the fact that he'd come far enough to be able to joke about his forgetfulness.

[AresLover452]

Yup, that was a good one too.

I love all the banter!! lol! Forget Kids say the darnedest things..... WALTER SAYS THE DARNEDEST THINGS.... lol!!