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Stargate: The Legend of Arcturus Maximus Primus

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    #1

    Stargate: The Legend of Arcturus Maximus Primus

    Hello! This is my first fan fiction story. I am writing for a ship I modeled. I am also making a mod with the ship to go into the game Star Wars: Empire at War: Forces of Corruption.

    Here is WIP thread for my ship and you can see what it looks like:
    http://www.scifi-meshes.com/forums/showthread.php?63120-StarGate-New-Ancient-Ship!
    It has some high res pictures like 1080p.

    My mod link is this:
    http://forums.filefront.com/sw-eaw-m...turus-mod.html

    And my 1st fan fiction:
    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5505302/1/

    I was hoping for reviews and critiques on how to improve the story/writing style. I am writing this to explain the history of my ship.

    Hope you enjoy it!
    Alpha Omega Protocol
    Last edited by Alpha Omega Protocol; 01 March 2011, 02:51 PM. Reason: dead link
    Tags: None
    #2
    i see you found your way here welcome!
    you already know i found it intresting

    Comment

      #3
      Yep I read your reply. And thought it would be a good idea.
      I have been working on ch. 2. hopefully it will be done soon!

      Comment

        #4
        Originally posted by Alpha Omega Protocol View Post
        Yep I read your reply. And thought it would be a good idea.
        I have been working on ch. 2. hopefully it will be done soon!
        I shall trust Alx's judgment and give it a read. He has yet to steer me wrong (at least on purpose) and i'll drop a review tonight when i'm done studying/forum browsing/updating my own fic/various other things

        AWESOME 3d Model! Has a very Lantean design feel to it, yet is different from the AUrora. I'm not too sure about that Engine but it does have it's appeal.

        I may even have to use your ship in my videos (once Pegasus Chronicles comes out)

        Videos? Oh... just the ones below

        Asuran Fleet takes on Wraith Fleet, then the SUperhive

        Traveler Aurora is PWNED by SuperHive, Daedalus is nearly pwned by Superhive, then Asurans Pwned by Superhive

        Refit Daedalus takes on 3 Wraith Cruisers and Jackknife PWNS them all!
        Originally posted by Apostle's Message Redux
        Shepard understood. Given the situation, he wasn't sure that exposing the planet to this kind of secret was smart. Miranda had regaled him with stories of how horrible 20th century Earth sounded in her history lessons and it made him leery. "I agree, god knows what would happen if Grunt got loose."

        Joker snorted and muttered loudly. "Run! It's The Incredible Hulk! Kill it with fire!"
        Read the story ---- Apostle's Message Redux, ME/SG Crossover

        Comment

          #5
          lol i had a feeling you'd pop your head in here sam well the story is an Au future thingy and i must say it made me curious and im hard to please when it comes to Sg fics but this made me atleast want to know more and the way AoP wrote it as logs was a nice touch still i cant rate it yet but i want to read more so thats gotta mean something...i think.. to me anyways so by all means AoP keep it up!

          oh and whats up with the blatant self advertising eh? naw just kidding gave me a reason to watch your flicks yet again now go easy on the review when you get to it IMO he did well for a first fic

          Comment

            #6
            I have uploaded the second chapter.

            I want to try and upload two chapters a week. Sometimes more if I get into writing a lot.

            Thanks! So far everyone that has posted has liked it.

            Nice videos! I modded Stargate at War so I could have the Ancient fleets also. Took out the Ori and everything else lol.

            The new engine design is to allow the ship to move like a star fighter. Each point can do different amounts of propulsion allowing the ship to move faster to get the Arc Cannons lined up to shoot. Also allows the unique design allows it to use the Celestial Drive. A variant of worm hole drive.

            Comment

              #7
              they were both great chapters
              check my story's:
              Battlestar group 16
              and Under Siege
              and respond at:
              Battlestar group 16 (For BSG 16 and Under siege)
              my newest story:
              TFS Ticonderoga
              and respond at:
              TFS Ticonderoga

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by Alpha Omega Protocol View Post
                I have uploaded the second chapter.

                I want to try and upload two chapters a week. Sometimes more if I get into writing a lot.

                Thanks! So far everyone that has posted has liked it.

                Nice videos! I modded Stargate at War so I could have the Ancient fleets also. Took out the Ori and everything else lol.

                The new engine design is to allow the ship to move like a star fighter. Each point can do different amounts of propulsion allowing the ship to move faster to get the Arc Cannons lined up to shoot. Also allows the unique design allows it to use the Celestial Drive. A variant of worm hole drive.
                Scientiically speaking, even a star fighter shouldn't be able to move like a fighter in space There's no drag in space so you need to counter every motion with an equal amount of thrust.

                to move something that large at those speeds (like a starfighter) would require very powerful engines in order to move that mass, as well as ridiculously powerful inertial dampeners as like a rollar coaster, the other end of the ship would move just as fast pancaking the crew on teh walls

                I think BSG did the best of both worlds in this regard. They showed how inertia worked and their CGI was both visualy appealing and yet believable since there weren't inertial dampeners to to speak

                Intriguing, a combination of Asgard and Ancient tech. Although i personally think Ancient tech blows Asgard out of the water, it'd be nice to have something mid-high range to fall back on instead of drones.

                will read tonight. just need to get one last thing done and i'm reading
                Originally posted by Apostle's Message Redux
                Shepard understood. Given the situation, he wasn't sure that exposing the planet to this kind of secret was smart. Miranda had regaled him with stories of how horrible 20th century Earth sounded in her history lessons and it made him leery. "I agree, god knows what would happen if Grunt got loose."

                Joker snorted and muttered loudly. "Run! It's The Incredible Hulk! Kill it with fire!"
                Read the story ---- Apostle's Message Redux, ME/SG Crossover

                Comment

                  #9
                  Done the first two chapters.

                  Overall i can't really critique it as a true "fanfic" as the story is about the ship and not the characters persay. So i'll rate my impresisons of hte ship and your style.

                  The ship itself brings back memories of Homeworld. God that was a fun game. I loved jumping Carriers out holding a whole bomber wing and just unleashing

                  that being said, why would they need a pair of Arcturus devices? seems a little overkill to be honest. In many respects this DOES feel like the Alliance Warship Mary Sue

                  I saw your videos as well and they weren't half bad. the render was very nice with the details and giving us a full view of the ship, while the in-game footage was funny "Damn nerfherders!" I think i cracked up at that point

                  It's a decent bit of fanboyism, and i understand that Although i'll say that a bunch of replicator McKays is terrifying
                  Originally posted by Apostle's Message Redux
                  Shepard understood. Given the situation, he wasn't sure that exposing the planet to this kind of secret was smart. Miranda had regaled him with stories of how horrible 20th century Earth sounded in her history lessons and it made him leery. "I agree, god knows what would happen if Grunt got loose."

                  Joker snorted and muttered loudly. "Run! It's The Incredible Hulk! Kill it with fire!"
                  Read the story ---- Apostle's Message Redux, ME/SG Crossover

                  Comment

                    #10
                    "they were both great chapters"

                    Thanks! I am about 25% done with the 3rd chapter.

                    "There's no drag in space so you need to counter every motion with an equal amount of thrust."

                    Yeah the engines are powerful. I made them that way because I am tired of ships going slow. I think the engines diameter is about 1.5km to 1.8km I would have to measure the model again. We get to see the celestial drive in ch. 3. I also explained more about the Arcturus generators.

                    "Overall i can't really critique it as a true "fanfic" as the story is about the ship and not the characters persay. So i'll rate my impresisons of hte ship and your style."

                    Yeah. That is what it really is about. Though I have to create the alternate universe of the stargate atlantis series. I plan on including more of the characters of Stargate Atlantis in the coming chapters. At least until the incident happens.

                    I also answered your why the Twin Arcturus generators in ch 3.

                    You know Mckay would so do it too. I mean I would even want clones of myself to help me. Someone I trust.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Chapter 3 has been uploaded!

                      I still like feedback on it. Aragon101, you reminded me to explain some stuff I forgot to explain. So I did in Chapter 3. Hope this answers your questions!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Got some pictures of my ship in another game. X3: Terran Conflict.

                        They are pretty big and there is 12 in all.

                        Spoiler:



























                        Credits:
                        Model: ME
                        Base Texture: ME
                        Light Texture: Merlin Galgotta
                        In Game Pictures: SystemlordSokar

                        The Arcturus Maximus Primus looks really good in that game!

                        Hope you like it!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Colonel Bradshaw? Maybe this is my future

                          Seems very good, working through chapter 1

                          "Oddly, this is familiar to you, as if it were from an old dream, but you can't exactly remember..."

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Be interesting if he sounds like/matches you.

                            Though I am glad that there is another Bradshaw that is a stargate fan. My last name is Bradshaw also lol.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Alpha Omega Protocol View Post
                              Be interesting if he sounds like/matches you.

                              Though I am glad that there is another Bradshaw that is a stargate fan. My last name is Bradshaw also lol.
                              Hi5!!!

                              "Oddly, this is familiar to you, as if it were from an old dream, but you can't exactly remember..."

                              Comment

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