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  1. #1
    Major Jeff O'Connor's Avatar
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    Default Tired of those dreadful Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies? Make something even worse!

    I'm so fed up with all this ceaseless sludge that the Sci-Fi Channel here in the United States cranks out every year, pouring millions and millions into horrific productions with some of the worst writing we've ever seen. So fed up, in fact, that I'm going to outshine Skiffy at its own game.

    They may think 'Mansquito' was a hilariously bad title, and they may think their announcer can make things sound as cheesy and campy as is humanly possible, but let's beat them to the punch!

    In this topic, for however long it may last (and I'll be honest, I'll be somewhat surprised if it lasts at all; I'm just in a strange mood right now) we come up with atrociously campy movie titles and appropriately lackluster taglines. We then envision the Sci-Fi Channel announcer (or, elsewhere across the globe, someone equally nauseating in everything they read things aloud) speaking said tagline in an advertising commercial.

    We continue to do this, assuming I even get a single reply in this bizarre topic, simply for laughs as we compliment one-another on respective outlandishly terrible premises. Feel free to add a brief plot description if it suits you.

    Here, I'll go first, and potentially last.

    From the network that brought you 'Decoys 2: Alien Seduction' comes an all-new thriller. Six teens, seven 20-somethings and MC Hammer as the wise village elder star against a vengeful tribe of draconic roosters. And these roosters don't just wake you up -- THEY BREATHE FIRE ON YOUR NECK. 'Dragon Chickens'. Premieres this Saturday on the most dangerous night on television.
    If you've seen a Jeff O'Connor or a JeffZero or a Jeff Zero or a JeffZeroConnor elsewhere on the net, there's a considerable chance it's me.

  2. #2
    Captain Karhedron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of those dreadful Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies? Make something even worse

    I've actually seen 1 or 2 of those "good" movies Sci-Fi produces even here in Germany.
    So here is my entry :

    From the channel that brought you "Dragon chickens" and the producers of "Monster ark" comes a movie that will change your view on history : "Caveman Ninja"
    He is dressed in black and he is deadly. Through an accident in a government lab martial arts teacher Darren McColden is cast back in time. Struggling in a dangerous world he has only two goals. Get back home....and survive!
    Tune in this saturday for a bloody adventure taking place in the youth of our planet and find out why the dinosaurs really got extinct.

    Thanks for the Sig go to the talented Fainne
    Spoiler:
    Which Supernatural character are you? (I hate those things..but sadly it fits )
    You're John! You are skilled and smart, but world-weary and a little jaded. You're a serial monogamist, and you love hard. You can sometimes be a little too narrow-minded, and stubborn to a fault, but your heart is always in the right place.

    The GateWorld Cantina - Kara : Runner gone Wraith gone Wraith Queen gone human barmaid

  3. #3
    Colonel Admiral Mappalazarou's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of those dreadful Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies? Make something even worse

    I write articles/features/reviews for I'm With Geek.com now. Check out our stuff if you get a minute!


    Click on sig to check out my fanfic gallery too!

  4. #4
    Major tombombadil's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of those dreadful Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies? Make something even worse

    Quote Originally Posted by Admiral Mappalazarou View Post
    [IMG]http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n185/mappalazarou/Mappalazarou%202/moviefrontcopy.jpg[/IM G]
    i think this is for bad movies


    THE MEGA SLOTH!(can't think of tagline)

    A group of college protesters are in the rain-forest protesting logging. Meanwhile, the logging equipment wakes up something evil and ancient. A Giant Ground Sloth. It destroys all forms of transportation leaving both the loggers and protesters stranded int he rain forest. and they aren't the only ones that are getting hungry......
    Vice Admiral and occasionally the Acting Leader of the Gateworld Cantina


  5. #5
    First Lieutenant ./freelancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of those dreadful Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies? Make something even worse

    Quote Originally Posted by Admiral Mappalazarou View Post
    [IMG]http://i112.photobucket.com/albums/n185/mappalazarou/Mappalazarou%202/moviefrontcopy.jpg[/IMG ]
    This is a thread for bad movies, Admiral. I'd watch that movie
    http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1...scape_sig2.png
    "We're grown-ups now and it's our turn to decide what that means." - xkcd
    The Church of Mappothism | My YouTube Videos (mostly Farscape music videos)

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  6. #6
    Lieutenant Colonel SoulReaver's Avatar
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    Tretonin Re: Tired of those dreadful Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies? Make something even worse

    Space Heroes of Earth

    a story about heroes from Earth. with heroic superpowers

    evil aliens come from mysterious Planet X aka. PX (located in equally mysterious Galaxy-Y aka. the GalaxY)

    these aliens are in their super-powerful spaceships and they start to attack earth with beam weapons (which they call superbeams) and very destructive bombs (called superbombs)

    innocent civilians are being killed as they run & scream
    many buildings are destroyed (starting with important symbolic buildings. this is a very important detail, because it's symbolic)

    thus begins our tragic, extraordinary & extraordinarily tragic story


    but not all hope is lost !

    and now it's up to our Heroes to save the Earth !
    Last edited by SoulReaver; September 16th, 2008 at 05:17 PM.


    Quote Originally Posted by jelgate View Post
    Soul is right.

  7. #7
    Lieutenant Colonel rarocks24's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of those dreadful Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies? Make something even worse

    Toad of Death

    A government agency in Nevada is testing a new nuclear weapon with an interesting effect, there's no explosion, and no radiation, supposedly. Undetectable radiation begins leaking throughout the underground bunker, turning the pet toad of the lead scientist into a 9 foot toad with carnivorous instincts.

    Can the scientists escape the hatch near where the monster has laid its eggs?

    Oh, and did I mention anyone that's regurgitated and/or excreted turns into zombies?
    http://www.change.gov

    The reason you should vote Republican in 2010.

  8. #8
    Major Muh_tuttles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of those dreadful Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies? Make something even worse

    ON SCI-FI - This saturday night - the world as you know it is changed.

    Millions of people, going about their daily life, unaware (flash scene of people walking past their fishtanks) and unsuspecting (flash close up of fishtank) of the ghastly (flash closer to fishtank) and gruesome (flash even closer) change that will come over the world - TONIGHT! (fishes stop swimming and turn to camera with an evil leer on their face)

    Montage of news reports on mutating fish, which all seems to point back to when a little boy was eating his lunch at school when a girl who was an alien who lived on the planet Zorganomoanyeons and was exiled to earth to create pandemoniom, kissed him. When this boy got home he spread some weird fish mutating disease in the water system and now everyone's goldfish is mutating.



    Tagline? Take your pic:

    - A kiss . . . a fish . . . and the world will cease to exist as we know it.

    - "mommy my fish is mutati-(gets eaten here)"

    etc, etc, etc
    "Wf!"

  9. #9
    Colonel Admiral Mappalazarou's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of those dreadful Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies? Make something even worse

    Quote Originally Posted by ./freelancer View Post
    This is a thread for bad movies, Admiral. I'd watch that movie
    I'd make that movie.
    I write articles/features/reviews for I'm With Geek.com now. Check out our stuff if you get a minute!


    Click on sig to check out my fanfic gallery too!

  10. #10
    Major Wraithworshipper's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of those dreadful Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies? Make something even worse

    From the late night channel that has aired "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!" more times than it's ever aired the evening news (It keeps getting pre-empted by other bad movies.) comes...The Return of the Missing Socks!

    Picture, if you will, an innocuous looking washer/dryer combo, much like any other combo. This combo, however, is...different. This combo is a gateway to an absurdly evil dimension where that ordinary dreaded missing sock is turned into a viscous killer biding it's time, waiting until there are sufficient numbers of 'odd socks out' to hurl themselves through the portal at the next unsuspecting user! Hurling themselves with sufficient for to gag and suffocate the screaming victims! Their goal? To dominate the world! Ending the wet/dry cycle of torture of poor innocent socks the world over...for Eternity!
    https://forum.gateworld.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=13540&d=1218150728

  11. #11
    Lieutenant Colonel AvatarIII's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of those dreadful Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies? Make something even worse

    from the network that bought you toad of death, comes ATOMICheese.

    a nuclear physicist one day accidentally drops his cheese sandwich into a nuclear reactor, little did he know, the sandwich would be back... TO EAT HIM!!!!
    Spoiler:
    Disclaimer:
    I have been using this username since 1998, it has no connection to "The Last Airbender", or James Cameron's movie.
    Quotes!
    - "Things will not calm down, Daniel Jackson, they will in fact calm up!"
    - "I hope you like Guinness Sir, I find it a refreshing alternative to... food"
    - "I'm Beginning to regret staying up late to watch "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigalo" last night... Check that, i regretted it almost immediately"
    STARGAvaTarIII
    http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k4...0137376zj2.png

  12. #12
    Colonel Admiral Mappalazarou's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tired of those dreadful Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies? Make something even worse

    Everyone go back and comment on the pic I made.
    I write articles/features/reviews for I'm With Geek.com now. Check out our stuff if you get a minute!


    Click on sig to check out my fanfic gallery too!

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