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  1. #61
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    Quote Originally Posted by ChocolateLovingEntity View Post
    Tardis flying through space

    Donna's been playing in the wardrobe and found a tight red dress to match her hair.

    Donna: "Doctor"
    Doctor: "mumble mumble" head burried in Tardis guts as he works on its innards. "Yes Donna, mumble mumble"
    Donna: "Oi!! Doctor" Doctor raises head
    Donna: "Does my bum look big in this?" Doctor frowns and says nothing"

    Sudden wooshy sounds and Jack materialises

    Jack: "Well hello there....." as he checks out Donna
    Doctor: "Oi you stop flirting"

    Big whooshy sound Donna and Jack vanish

    Wooshy sounds as Donna reeappears

    Donna: "sigh" straightens hair
    Donna: "OI Doctor where's the nursery?"
    Doctor: "Oh no!!!!" slaps head and frowns.
    Doctor: "Ok down the stairs two floors down past the bins two more floors down and two doors away from the spa bath"

    9 Months Later

    Donna: "Doctor"
    Doctor: "Yes"
    Donna: sobbs "Jack's run off with Owen" sob "and he wants custody of the baby" sob "we named it Tara in honour of the Tardis since that's where he picked me up from" sob

    Doctor: "Oh that's fine whatever"
    Donna: screams "Oi you never care, you never listen" throws stuff around the console room"

    Doctor: "If it makes you happy I'll drop you off at Torchwood"
    Donna: "Oi yep"

    Wooshy sounds as the TARDIS lands

    Donna runs out the Tardis into Torchwood with an axe

  2. #62
    First Lieutenant JJSNgadget's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    JACK: "Doctor, I'm pregnant. Again. It's yours."
    DOCTOR: *blink, blink, faint*
    ---------------------------------------------------

    OWEN: "Oh, sh!t, I'm pregnant with an alien baby."
    GWEN: "pffft, already been done. Do you really think tptb are gonna reuse that plot so quickly? pffft, Give us a break. Besides you're dead, you can't have children."
    OWEN: "You're right. God I'm so depressed, I want to kill myself...Damn."
    ---------------------------------------------------

    *Owen punches Jack with shirt covered fist*
    TOSHIKO: "Owen!"
    JACK: "......oww."
    GWEN: "What did he ever do to you?"
    OWEN: "Whatever I am, he made me! I was adorable once, young and full of hope. And now look at me! I'm this short, fat, insecure, middle-aged THING!"
    JACK: "I made you short?"
    ----------------------------------------------------

    RHYS: "Now take that wig off or I'll tell Gwen you're wearing it."
    JACK: "You do that, I'm gonna tell her you're seeing somebody else while she's on the stage."
    RHYS: "I have two words for you: green card."
    EVERYBODY: "Huh?"
    RHYS: "What? He's not exactly Welsh, now, is he?"
    Last edited by JJSNgadget; March 27th, 2008 at 05:35 AM.

  3. #63
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    I don't get this........ I tried some o my parodies on a local forum and they just don't get it..... Howcome you guys get it?

  4. #64
    First Lieutenant JJSNgadget's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    I guess we just have the same cultural background. What was your local forum about?

  5. #65
    First Lieutenant JJSNgadget's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    Quote Originally Posted by ChocolateLovingEntity View Post
    9 Months Later

    Donna: "Doctor"
    Doctor: "Yes"
    Donna: sobbs "Jack's run off with Owen" sob "and he wants custody of the baby" sob "we named it Tara in honour of the Tardis since that's where he picked me up from" sob

    Wooshy sounds as the TARDIS lands

    Donna runs out the Tardis into Torchwood with an axe
    So Donna cuts off Jack's head? And that's how he becomes the Face of Boe!
    -------or--------
    So Donna cuts off Jack's head? And that's how he becomes a choir falsetto!

  6. #66
    First Lieutenant JJSNgadget's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    YVONNE: A vessel, handcrafted in the bowels of perdition, by the iniquitous and vile.
    ALONZO: What?
    YVONNE: Oh I forgot, you never passed your GCSEs.
    Last edited by JJSNgadget; March 27th, 2008 at 03:18 PM.

    Doctor Who and Top Gear
    The only thing better would be if I won the lottery.

  7. #67
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    LMAO!!!

    Well haven't you lot been keeping busy???

    Ianto: Jack???
    Jack: Yeah???
    Ianto: If anything happened to Myfanwy, would you be upset???
    Jack: Yeah. Why???
    Ianto: Oh. No reason. (To everyone else) Anybody fancy a barbeque wing???

    //This one is based on my fanfiction with the new character of Edele//

    Jack: Edele!!!
    Edele: Yup???
    Jack: Ianto, Gwen, Owen and Tosh are nowhere to be seen, the weevils are not in the vaults, Myfanwy isn't in her cave and you and me are the only people here...why do I get the feeling you had something to do with this???
    Edele: Barbeque wing???

    //Okay, back to normal//

    Tosh: Jack???
    Jack: Yup???
    Tosh: The rift just sealed off, there's no more activity going on and everything has returned to its own reality...
    Jack: Ah.
    Owen: Now what???
    Ianto: Barbeque wing???

    (OMG!!! What is it with me and BBQ today - I don't even like it)


  8. #68
    First Lieutenant JJSNgadget's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    *during the monthly cleaning of Myfanwy's cave*
    IANTO: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
    *chomp*
    MYFANWY: "Barbequed arm, anyone?"

  9. #69
    Lieutenant Colonel
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    You've stolen my BBQ...



    Owen: Who the hell is Allestian and why is she poking me???

    Jack: Anyone up for a game of Twister???
    Gwen: Not after what happened the last time...

    Ianto: Anyone lost a screw?
    CRASH!!! BANG!!! WALLOP!!!


  10. #70
    First Lieutenant JJSNgadget's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    Quote Originally Posted by Allestian View Post
    Ianto: Anyone lost a screw?
    CRASH!!! BANG!!! WALLOP!!!

    JACK: No, but I can give you a screw.
    IANTO: *thinking* Alright.
    GWEN: Oh, not here!

    Doctor Who and Top Gear
    The only thing better would be if I won the lottery.

  11. #71
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    Very nice...knew you'd say something like that...

    JACK: No, but I can give you a screw.
    IANTO: *thinking* Alright.
    GWEN: Oh, not here!
    Owen: Sure you have the nuts for it Jack???
    Tosh: Time to bolt for the doors...
    Gwen: I'm sure that the air just tightened.
    (Ianto and Jack just look at them)

  12. #72
    First Lieutenant JJSNgadget's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    Quote Originally Posted by Allestian View Post
    Owen: Sure you have the nuts for it Jack???
    JACK: Never question the size of my nuts.

  13. #73
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    Quote Originally Posted by JJSNgadget View Post
    JACK: Never question the size of my nuts.
    Ianto walks in.
    Ianto: Ah! Jack! Just got back from Tesco, afraid they only had peanuts sir...


  14. #74
    First Lieutenant JJSNgadget's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    Quote Originally Posted by Allestian View Post
    Ianto walks in.
    Ianto: Ah! Jack! Just got back from Tesco, afraid they only had peanuts sir...

    It won't let me green you. Arrgh.

    JACK: That's okay. I know how we can make peanut butter.

  15. #75
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    Gwen: I prefer chocolate.
    Jack: Spreadable or sauce???
    Tosh: I was going to get some lunch but I've changed my mind.


  16. #76
    First Lieutenant JJSNgadget's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    Quote Originally Posted by Allestian View Post
    Gwen: I prefer chocolate.
    Jack: Spreadable or sauce???
    Tosh: I was going to get some lunch but I've changed my mind.

    MYFANWY: *aaahhhhawwwwwnnnnnkkkkk"
    OWEN: "Guys, I think she's getting hungry."

  17. #77
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    Jack: After you Ianto.
    Ianto: After you Owen.
    Owen: No after you Yan...
    (The girls just sigh and run off for the bucket of fish)
    Tosh: Filthy, disgusting, slimy...
    Gwen: The fish???
    Tosh: The boys.

  18. #78
    First Lieutenant JJSNgadget's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    BBC WALES NEWSREADER: "Residents of Caerdydd have reported seeing what appears to be a pterodactyl flying near the Millennium center. Witness claim the prehistoric bird flies primarily at night and never strays far from the millennium square..."
    OWEN: "Sh!t Jack! Myfanwy's made the news."
    GWEN: "I did warn you, honestly, letting her fly in public."
    BBC WALES NEWSREADER: "...here is amateur footage taken of the creature in flight..."
    OWEN: "Some punk even got her on his video phone."
    JACK: "Maybe I could put a perception filter on her."

  19. #79
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    Could imagine that dialogue in season three of Torchwood...

    Jack: Psst, kid!
    Lad: What???
    Jack: Did you hear about that pterodactyl???
    Lad: Yeah, what of -
    BUZZ!!! THUNK!!!

  20. #80
    First Lieutenant JJSNgadget's Avatar
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    Default Re: Things You Wouldn't Want To Hear in the Tardis or in the Torchwood Hub

    IANTO: "I don't believe we have enough to ret-con all of Cardiff, sir."
    --------------------------------------

    DOCTOR: "I can't do it, I can't cope. We're travelling at the speed of time, me bottle's gone."
    *the Tardis rocks*
    DOCTOR: "Gordon Bennett that was a close one!"
    MARTHA: "Doctor, what's the problem? You're supposed to have an IQ of 6000, aren't you?"
    DOCTOR: "Look, we're travelling faster than the speed of time. That means, by the time we see something, we've already reached yesterday. Even with an IQ of 6000, it's still brown trousers time."

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