Favorite Farscape Quotes

[ChillinTheMost]

Out Of Their Minds

Crichton: "Have you sent the 'Don't shoot us, we're pathetic' signal, yet?"
D'Argo: "First thing we did."

Rygel-in-Crichton after the creature vomited, "Don't worry, I just peed in the maintenance bay."

[rosey_angel]

Slicker 'n snot is what he says. That's a fav of mine as well.

*I nit there fore I pick.

no, that's fine. yours makes more sense

tonights ep, Jeremiah Crichton

Crichton: Since I left home, I’ve been hunted, beaten, locked up, shanghaied, shot at. I’ve had alien creatures in my face, up my nose, inside my brain, down my pants. This is the first time, the first place, where I’ve felt peace.

[SunKrux]

no, that's fine. yours makes more sense

I grew up in the south...so understanding Ben/John isn't a problem for me.

[MFA]

I grew up in the south...so understanding Ben/John isn't a problem for me.

Yeah for Southerners I think that's what makes me like his character so much, the Southernisms that creep in there every so often, and especially when he says "ya'll". It's done in such as way as to not be demeaning to the southern heritage ... at least, it's not as "rednecky" as some other shows have done in the past.

I love the "slicker'n'snot" bit as well. (My dad'n'law said that a few months back, so there are actually people around who use that phrase.) And "colder than a frog's ***". Though, I think Crichton Kicks has the most 'southernisms' of all the episodes. Guess that's why it's my favorite.

[SunKrux]

MFA - I hear ya. One thing about me though, I rarely say "Ya'll" as I don't like the sound of it. I'm crazy like that.

I do say "Fixin' to" and one of my favorite things little kids down South say when tired is "Momma tote me".

To me, John is a lot like my bro just 2 yrs older than me. So while I like the John/Aeryn pairing, it was too much like watchin' my bro make out. Yes, I am weird, I know.

[Starbase]

A few Zhaan zingers .....

Zhaan: 'Am I the only species in creation that doesn't thrive on conflict?' - Throne for a Loss

Zhaan: 'You are a very ungrateful and selfish woman. Please remain silent from now on.' - Self Inflicted Wounds - Wait for the Wheel

Zhaan: 'Rygel, what a surprise. I see you're having something to eat. Is this your third helping or your fourth?' - DNA Mad Scientist

[firefly827347]

Rygel: Hey! Hey! Tentacles off, *tentacles* *off*!
Alien: It was unwanted by you.
Rygel: That doesn’t mean you can have it.

Aeryn: What is the *matter* with him?
Zhaan: He is Crichton.

John: Okay, John… don’t freak. Get a grip, man, you don’t *know* you’ve come unstuck in time…

D’Argo: Do you mock me?
John: D’Argo, I mock all of us.

John: Hey, Rygel.
Rygel: Hmm?
John: What’s up with her?
Rygel: Oh, she thinks she’s a scientist now. False superiority!
Aeryn: I am not a scientist. I am, however, what I have always been, and that is superior.
Rygel: If I were warmer, I would have an appropriately venomous reply.

Zhaan: How long have we known each other, Rygel?
Rygel: Long enough for me to see your blue backside meditating, but not long enough for you to touch me.

[To John, who is unconscious]
Rygel: I don’t know why I’m bothering, I don’t care what Aeryn thinks. You certainly look dead to me. I don’t know your customs for these situations. Not that I care. So I’ll give you the Hynerian Ceremony of Passage and be done with it. [Clears throat] John Crichton, valued friend… Now wait a minute, ‘valued friend’ is a bit of a stretch. John Crichton, unwelcome shipmate. May you have safe transport to the Hallowed Realm. [Climbs on him and pokes him in the face, pause] Actually, not our Hallowed Realm, no. That’s for Hynerians. Go find your own Hallowed Realm. [Climbs off him] With the Ceremony of Passage complete, I declare you officially dead, and claim all your possessions for myself.



[After the DRD superglued her to the floor, John is trying to free her]
Aeryn: I’m gonna track down this little droid and rip off both its antennae.
John: Happy place, Aeryn. Go to your happy place.

D’Argo: Something Crichton said is disturbing me.
Rygel: *Finally*. I’ve been saying that since he arrived.

D’Argo: How did you know about the sacred text?
Rygel: Where were you brought up? Every religion’s got one.

John: [Biting into something] God! Ugh! Salmonella, what the hell is that?
Rygel: That’s croldar. A delicacy, even for pagans.
John: Yeah? How long was it under your butt getting delicate?

Chiana: Are you sure about this?
John: Just go up.
Chiana: What if the creature’s waiting?
John: Then p**s it off.
Chiana: How?
John: Pretend it’s me.

Rygel: No Dominar from the House of Rygel ever travels in reverse.
John: Well, turn around. Pretend you’re going forward.

[Thinking they are going to die]
Rygel: Should I disrobe so it’s memorable?

I can't remember the episodes and I've only seen season one but those are my faves

[MFA]

firefly827347, those are some great quotes from season 1!! I especially liked the one where Rygel gives John his "last rites".

Well, I'm going to take a stab at naming some of the episodes:

Jeremiah Crichton?

Spoiler:

Aeryn: What is the *matter* with him?
Zhaan: He is Crichton

Back and Back and Back to the Future?

Spoiler:

John: Okay, John… don’t freak. Get a grip, man, you don’t *know* you’ve come unstuck in time…

Thank God It's Friday Again

Spoiler:

John: Hey, Rygel.
Rygel: Hmm?
John: What’s up with her?
Rygel: Oh, she thinks she’s a scientist now. False superiority!
Aeryn: I am not a scientist. I am, however, what I have always been, and that is superior.
Rygel: If I were warmer, I would have an appropriately venomous reply.

That Old Black Magic

Spoiler:

[To John, who is unconscious]
Rygel: I don’t know why I’m bothering, I don’t care what Aeryn thinks. You certainly look dead to me. I don’t know your customs for these situations. Not that I care. So I’ll give you the Hynerian Ceremony of Passage and be done with it. [Clears throat] John Crichton, valued friend… Now wait a minute, ‘valued friend’ is a bit of a stretch. John Crichton, unwelcome shipmate. May you have safe transport to the Hallowed Realm. [Climbs on him and pokes him in the face, pause] Actually, not our Hallowed Realm, no. That’s for Hynerians. Go find your own Hallowed Realm. [Climbs off him] With the Ceremony of Passage complete, I declare you officially dead, and claim all your possessions for myself.

They've Got A Secret

Spoiler:

[After the DRD superglued her to the floor, John is trying to free her]
Aeryn: I’m gonna track down this little droid and rip off both its antennae.
John: Happy place, Aeryn. Go to your happy place.

Jeremiah Crichton

Spoiler:

D’Argo: How did you know about the sacred text?
Rygel: Where were you brought up? Every religion’s got one.

Through the Looking Glass (next three quotes ... what a fun episode to watch!)

Spoiler:

John: [Biting into something] God! Ugh! Salmonella, what the hell is that?
Rygel: That’s croldar. A delicacy, even for pagans.
John: Yeah? How long was it under your butt getting delicate?

If my episode guess it right, John get's even later ... he cooks biscuits (or something like that) using Grandma's recipe. Wish I knew the exact words but paraphrasing will do, I guess ...

John: mentions ingredients - eggs, flour, milk, etc.
Gang: we don't have those around here
John: Yea, I know, I had to improvise. [mentions "subsitutes"] then gets "stoned" by biscuits.

Spoiler:

Chiana: Are you sure about this?
John: Just go up.
Chiana: What if the creature’s waiting?
John: Then p**s it off.
Chiana: How?
John: Pretend it’s me.

Spoiler:

Rygel: No Dominar from the House of Rygel ever travels in reverse.
John: Well, turn around. Pretend you’re going forward.

[the Fifth Race]

Rygel: 'Doesn't simply shooting them dead strike you as viable?' - Self Inflicted Wounds - Could'a, Would'a, Should'a

Rygel: 'Listen to this. Double the Crichton and you double the waste of time.' -My Three Crichtons

Rygel: 'Every time I think that there's more to you than a pair of pushed-up loomas in a corset, you disappoint me' - Liars, Guns and Money - With Friends Like These

[rosey_angel]

Look at the Princess (3): The Maltese Crichton

D'Argo: (to statue John) Do you feel any pain?
Crichton: No, but I'd really like to pick my nose.

Crichton: How Batman was that!

Won't Get Fooled Again

Zhaan: Do you have a problem with people of colour?
Critchon: I have a contextual problem. You're an alien.
Zhaan: Yes, that's true. But I do have a Green Card.
Critchon: Interesting. Are you or are you not blue?
Zhaan: Would it matter to you if I was?
Critchon: Do you always answer a question with a question?
Zhaan: Does that bother you?

[ChillinTheMost]

Firefly and MFA:
Throne For A Loss
Back and Back and Back to the Future
Back and Back and Back to the Future
Back and Back and Back to the Future
Thank God It’s Friday, Again
? [I think this is Back and Back and Back to the Future, too, when Zhaan asks Rygel if he notices anything different/wrong with Moya]
That Old Black Magic
They’ve Got A Secret
Rhapsody in Blue
Jeremiah Crichton
Through the Looking Glass
Through the Looking Glass
Through the Looking Glass
Through the Looking Glass

--can't believe I can't place that one quote...

[rosey_angel]

the Hidden Memory

D'Argo : (to Aeryn) If you can be an idiot, I can be an idiot

[Starbase]

Crichton and Rygel are the King's of funny quotes....

Crichton: 'We can stick our heads between our legs and kiss our asses goodbye. It's a saying.' - I, E.T.

Crichton: 'Crais I want you to find the fattest target you can. Government house, missile site, McDonald's, whatever.' - Thanks for Sharing

Rygel: 'You're worse than me, I like that'. - The Locket

Rygel: 'May your afterlife be almost as pleasant as mine.' - Mind the Baby

[rosey_angel]

Family Ties

Aeryn: Oh, just to be in the warm glow of all this testosterone.

D'Argo: She was vague to the point that I suspect she doesn't have a clue.

D'Argo: Fear accompanies the possibility of death. Calm shepherds its certainty

[joshing123]

[i] =D'Argo: She was vague to the point that I suspect she doesn't have a clue.

I love that one. It's true so often. I've used variations of it in real life.