Funny SG-1 lines

[nothing croovus]

Every one think of the most hillarious lines and the episode it was from. I'll get the ball rolling: From season three's "Maternal Instinct."


Daniel: It looks like the monk has taken up some kind of curator ship.
Jack: Like a janitor?
Daniel: No, more like a guide.
Jack: An usher?


Jack from season three's "Urgo"

Sam: It looks like a perfect paradise world.
Teal'c: Appearances can be decieving.
Jack: Ah, but one man's ceiling is another man's floor.
Daniel:Ok, a poor man's paradise is a wise man's hell.
Jack: Don't run with scissors?

[Opener]

"You know, you blow up one sun and suddenly everyone expects you to walk on water."

[Myrddins Angel]

WARNING spoilers for Season 10 - The Quest part 2
You have been WARNED.

Spoiler:

Ba'al: "Merlins little trick with my vocal cords expired the same time he did."
Teal'c: "Yet another reason to morn his passing."
I thought that was so funny.... ahhh poor Ba'al LOL

[Jedi_Master_Bra'tac]

"things will not calm down Daniel Jackson, things will in fact calm up"

"things did not go well" "Ya THINK""

"this tastes like chicken" "what's wrong with it?" "it's macaroni and cheese"

THE QUEST PART 2 spoilers

Spoiler:

Perhaps, Puff

[nothing croovus]

Not that you need my permission but you include funny lines from the movie or Atlantis as well.Ok, I can think of three off the top of my head. First from "Touchstone"


Jack: We came in piece, and we intend to leave in one.......piece.


From season seven's "Fallen"

Jack: Ah, but birds of a feather.
Man: I am not familiar with that story. What lesson does it teach?
Jack: It has to do with flocking, and together-ness, and to be quite honest I'm not very familiar with paticulars myself.
From season nine's "The Fourth Horseman" 1or 2.
Cam: Symptoms may include dizziness, iritability and a condition known as hot dog fingers.
Prior: But know this, the Ori will strike down those that stand against their judgement.
Cam: I'm not feeling anything. You?
Daniel: I'm drawing a blank......a little thirsty.
Cam: That doesn't count.
Prior: We are beacons on the road to enligtenment.
Cam: No, your a darkside intergalactic encyclopedia salesman and unfortunately the home office hasn't been up front with you.
Daniel: Nice work on the metaphor.
Cam: Thank you.

[Stricken]

Fragile Balance

DANIEL:
Jack's account sounds like a number of UFO abduction case files I've read.

YOUNG JACK:
This you remember? My birthday you forget.

[Eye Of Ra]

Mitchell: wow wow wow bullets bounce

[Atlanis]

The question part 1-

Ball

He's small let him squesse through the bars

Teal'c
Help us or I'll squesse you through the bars

[Eye Of Ra]

Avalon pt 1

Teal'c:Are you still having fun col.Mitchell

[monkey_man132]

The funniest line in Sg-1 is the episode "Seth" where Teal'c makes a Jaffa joke.

[Dutch_Razor]

Ascension is overrated

Full Circle.

Oh and one from one of the new eps but I forgot it

[Eye Of Ra]

The defiant one

Shep:don't let go of the controls

Mckay:snaping doesn't help

[TheBigFlush]

The funniest thing I ever saw on Stargate wasn't even a spoken line:

Prometheus Unbound:
Novak has the hiccups and can't seem to stop.
Without looking, Walter pushes a glass of water in her direction.

There's been some funny moments, but for me, even though it's a sight gag, that takes the cake.

[Eye Of Ra]

Epiphany

Mckay: Get us a proper jumper pilot i don't trust him i can't fly the dam thing in a straight line.

[SamCarterFan]

99% of what comes out of jack's mouth is funny, he has to be amazing to hang out with. he cracks me up every time.