The Chronicles of Stargate: The Fellowship of the Rings Saga I
Flash back to 5 years ago when SG-1 found an Ancient outpost.
Daniel: "Jack! Look what I found, it looks like some sort of Ancient weapon."
Jack: "Don't touch it, it might be a big honkin' space gun space gun."
Daniel: "Too late, I think I activated it."
A chorus of Ascended beings descend from the sky and 4 rings appear on the control panel.
Ascended #1: "These are the rings of power, we grant you these so you may use them to fight the evil that await."
Jack: "What do they do?"
Ascended #2 (Annoyed): "They enhance you natural abilities and in time of need they can combine all your abilities and turn you into the ultimate team."
Present day
General Laundry, uhm, I mean Landry is telling SG-1 about their new commander.
Landry: "Lady, Alien and Geek a cool person will join you, I love him and so will you. May I introduce m'boy Colonel Cameron Mitchell?"
Mitchell (With an evil charm and a big smile): "It's an honor to serve General Landry."
Landry: "Now that is settled, SG-1 I want you to go on an off-world mission so Cam can experience the Stargate and the off-world scene."
SG-1 leaves the briefing room and makes preparations to go off-world. An hour later, they're in the Gateroom.
Walter (through the speakers): "Chevron Seven Locked"
Landry (through the speakers): "SG-1 you're cleared to go." (Carter and Daniel run through the Stargate, while Teal'c pushes Cam through it)
After a few hours off-world SG-1 runs into serious trouble, consisting of a legion of Jaffa in strange uniforms.
Daniel (Taking heavy fire): "We must combine the Rings of Power!"
Teal'c (Raises an eyebrow and says in his usual monotone voice): "I fear the rings won't work Daniel Jackson, since Colonel O'Neill is not with us."
Sam (Almost gets hit and ducks): "We must try! It's our only chance!"
Cam (Shooting at the Jaffa): "What rings? I never read about any damned rings!"
Daniel (Shouting with conviction): "Knowledge!"
Teal'c: "Strength!"
Sam: "Techno babble!"
Sam (After a few seconds have past by and nothing happened): "Damnit, it doesn't work...we can't form the Ultimate SG-1 to destroy our enemies!" (All of a sudden they hear a mysterious voice)
Mysterious voice: "HEWO!" (A strange glowing light appears) "With all your powers combined I am Colonel Cambo!"
The members of SG-1 look at the mysterious figure who is fighting the Jaffa. The Mysterious Hewo puts up a good fight and kills half the legion, but is eventually cornered by the Jaffa. The remaining Jaffa take the other members of SG-1 captive as well.
Jaffa Redshirt: "Surrender, and I will spare your lives." (SG-1 puts down their weapons and Cambo does the same) "Now, who are you?" (He sees Teal'c) "You are the Shol'va Teal'c! Then you must be SG-1 from Earth. Lord Apophis will be pleased to hear this, but who are you stranger? You don't look like the Tau'ri from Earth."
Mysterious Figure (Calm): "I am Cambo, The Hewo, and now I shall show you the power of the plot hole." (Out of nowhere 24 other SG teams appear and kill all the Jaffa)
Sam (Confused): "What are you doing here Colonel Makepeace?"
Makepeace (Equally confused): "I don't know Colonel Carter, we were just having sex, uhm, I mean establishing diplomatic relations with the natives on P4C-970 and suddenly we were here on PS3-876 with our weapons fighting the Jaffa. By the way where is Colonel Mitchell?"
Mitchell (Coming from the bushes): "I was here sir, I was taking a pee"
Makepeace (Annoyed): "In the middle of a battle?"
Mitchell: "Well Landry said I could take a pee whenever I wanted to do so, and we did save the day." (Mitchell walks away towards the Gate and dials home).
The SG teams return to Earth where General Laundry who is debriefing them, is also addressing a very important issue.
Landry: "First of all, I need to discuss with you an issue of great importance, my name is General Landry and not Laundry! Now SG-1 tell me about what happened on that planet, while I'm reading my bird-watchers handbook."
Daniel: "There appears to be another person with a ring of power. We called for our abilities and nothing happened, until a mysterious voice shouted something that sounded like 'hewo' and suddenly the light of the rings appeared. But the strange thing is, we didn't get empowered."
Sam: "I noticed that too, it almost looked like that instead of empowering us, our rings were empowering this mysterious person, Cambo, with our abilities." (Mitchell starts grinning)
Landry: "I see, any explanation?" (Landry returns to reading his book)
Sam: "No, not yet Sir."
Daniel (Remembering LotR): "Wait a minute, this sounds a lot like The True One Ring from LotR, which according to Tolkien, the powers of all the other Rings. You know what this means?!"
Teal'c: "I do not Doctor Jackson."
Daniel (Becoming melodramatic and the background music joins in on the mood): "Tolkien was an Ancient! It all makes sense now! Cambo must have the True One Ring!" (Mitchell starts laughing)
Carter (Catching on): "Does that mean the there are more rings? At least we know Cambo..."
Mitchell (Suddenly slamming on the table and busting out in laughter): "Cambo, what a name is that! CamBo, Cambodia!" (Mitchell continues laughing until Teal'c zats him)
Laundry (Shocked): "Why did you zat m'boy Cam, he's a good man. You must know I will not tolerate this behavior. Now continue the debriefing Colonel Carter while I continue reading my bird-watchers handbook."
Sam: "Thank you Sir, as I was trying to say this mysterious figure must also possess a ring of power since he shouted Hewo and suddenly Cambo appeared. Also the Jaffa on the planet claimed to be in the service of Apophis."
Laundry (Looking up from his book): "Right, very well, carry on and investigate this further."
SG-1 leaves the briefing room and prepares to return to the planet. After 30 minutes, Mitchell needed to recover from the Zat blast and he needed to change his pants, SG-1 returns to the planet when suddenly from the sky Apophis's new mothership descends and beams SG-1 into it.
Apophis (Glowing his eyes): "Kneel before me, for I am Apophis, King of the Replicators."
Teal'c: "I don't kneel before false Gods."
Daniel: "I thought you were dead, why aren't you dead?"
Apophis: "Silence! TPTB ran out of ideas so they brought me back and now I will finally kill you."
Daniel (Whispering to Sam and Teal'c): "We must combine the rings or he's going to kill us."
Teal'c: "Indeed, but it does not appear to be wise to do so. It might result in the creation of Cambo again."
Sam (Thoughtful): You're right, but we have the risk it. The rings are our only way out since only with them we can create a subspace bubble which brings us back to the gate!" (Daniel, Teal'c and Sam shout their ring activation words)
Teal'c (After noticing nothing happened again): "It is not working. This must be because of O'Neill missing." (Suddenly the hear the mysterious voice again)
Mysterious voice: "Hewo!" (Strange glowing light appears) "When all these powers are combined I am Colonel Cambo!"
Apophis: "Who are you? How dare you defy a God like this?"
Cambo: "I am Cambo and I will be your undoing." (Cambo fires his plot devices and plot holes at Apophis, and they conveniently create the subspace bubble that brings SG-1 to the gate and destroys Apophis's mother ship.)
Sam (Shipper eyes): "Cambo, how can we ever thank you! I'd do anything for
you! You're my Hewo!" (Daniel looks at Cambo's ring finger and is shocked)
Cambo: "It's my pleasure to serve" (Cambo disappears)
Teal'c (Looking around): "Has anyone seen Colonel Mitchell?"
Sam (Shocked): "No, where is he?"
Mitchell (Comes running from behind the Stargate and laughs before saying): "Ha-ha! Fooled you! I was hiding behind the Stargate! Damn, you're bad at Hide and Seek!" (Teal'c zats Mitchell again)
Daniel (Mysteriously): "Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul." (The sky darkens as lightning storms fill the sky)
Flash back to 5 years ago when SG-1 found an Ancient outpost.
Daniel: "Jack! Look what I found, it looks like some sort of Ancient weapon."
Jack: "Don't touch it, it might be a big honkin' space gun space gun."
Daniel: "Too late, I think I activated it."
A chorus of Ascended beings descend from the sky and 4 rings appear on the control panel.
Ascended #1: "These are the rings of power, we grant you these so you may use them to fight the evil that await."
Jack: "What do they do?"
Ascended #2 (Annoyed): "They enhance you natural abilities and in time of need they can combine all your abilities and turn you into the ultimate team."
Present day
General Laundry, uhm, I mean Landry is telling SG-1 about their new commander.
Landry: "Lady, Alien and Geek a cool person will join you, I love him and so will you. May I introduce m'boy Colonel Cameron Mitchell?"
Mitchell (With an evil charm and a big smile): "It's an honor to serve General Landry."
Landry: "Now that is settled, SG-1 I want you to go on an off-world mission so Cam can experience the Stargate and the off-world scene."
SG-1 leaves the briefing room and makes preparations to go off-world. An hour later, they're in the Gateroom.
Walter (through the speakers): "Chevron Seven Locked"
Landry (through the speakers): "SG-1 you're cleared to go." (Carter and Daniel run through the Stargate, while Teal'c pushes Cam through it)
After a few hours off-world SG-1 runs into serious trouble, consisting of a legion of Jaffa in strange uniforms.
Daniel (Taking heavy fire): "We must combine the Rings of Power!"
Teal'c (Raises an eyebrow and says in his usual monotone voice): "I fear the rings won't work Daniel Jackson, since Colonel O'Neill is not with us."
Sam (Almost gets hit and ducks): "We must try! It's our only chance!"
Cam (Shooting at the Jaffa): "What rings? I never read about any damned rings!"
Daniel (Shouting with conviction): "Knowledge!"
Teal'c: "Strength!"
Sam: "Techno babble!"
Sam (After a few seconds have past by and nothing happened): "Damnit, it doesn't work...we can't form the Ultimate SG-1 to destroy our enemies!" (All of a sudden they hear a mysterious voice)
Mysterious voice: "HEWO!" (A strange glowing light appears) "With all your powers combined I am Colonel Cambo!"
The members of SG-1 look at the mysterious figure who is fighting the Jaffa. The Mysterious Hewo puts up a good fight and kills half the legion, but is eventually cornered by the Jaffa. The remaining Jaffa take the other members of SG-1 captive as well.
Jaffa Redshirt: "Surrender, and I will spare your lives." (SG-1 puts down their weapons and Cambo does the same) "Now, who are you?" (He sees Teal'c) "You are the Shol'va Teal'c! Then you must be SG-1 from Earth. Lord Apophis will be pleased to hear this, but who are you stranger? You don't look like the Tau'ri from Earth."
Mysterious Figure (Calm): "I am Cambo, The Hewo, and now I shall show you the power of the plot hole." (Out of nowhere 24 other SG teams appear and kill all the Jaffa)
Sam (Confused): "What are you doing here Colonel Makepeace?"
Makepeace (Equally confused): "I don't know Colonel Carter, we were just having sex, uhm, I mean establishing diplomatic relations with the natives on P4C-970 and suddenly we were here on PS3-876 with our weapons fighting the Jaffa. By the way where is Colonel Mitchell?"
Mitchell (Coming from the bushes): "I was here sir, I was taking a pee"
Makepeace (Annoyed): "In the middle of a battle?"
Mitchell: "Well Landry said I could take a pee whenever I wanted to do so, and we did save the day." (Mitchell walks away towards the Gate and dials home).
The SG teams return to Earth where General Laundry who is debriefing them, is also addressing a very important issue.
Landry: "First of all, I need to discuss with you an issue of great importance, my name is General Landry and not Laundry! Now SG-1 tell me about what happened on that planet, while I'm reading my bird-watchers handbook."
Daniel: "There appears to be another person with a ring of power. We called for our abilities and nothing happened, until a mysterious voice shouted something that sounded like 'hewo' and suddenly the light of the rings appeared. But the strange thing is, we didn't get empowered."
Sam: "I noticed that too, it almost looked like that instead of empowering us, our rings were empowering this mysterious person, Cambo, with our abilities." (Mitchell starts grinning)
Landry: "I see, any explanation?" (Landry returns to reading his book)
Sam: "No, not yet Sir."
Daniel (Remembering LotR): "Wait a minute, this sounds a lot like The True One Ring from LotR, which according to Tolkien, the powers of all the other Rings. You know what this means?!"
Teal'c: "I do not Doctor Jackson."
Daniel (Becoming melodramatic and the background music joins in on the mood): "Tolkien was an Ancient! It all makes sense now! Cambo must have the True One Ring!" (Mitchell starts laughing)
Carter (Catching on): "Does that mean the there are more rings? At least we know Cambo..."
Mitchell (Suddenly slamming on the table and busting out in laughter): "Cambo, what a name is that! CamBo, Cambodia!" (Mitchell continues laughing until Teal'c zats him)
Laundry (Shocked): "Why did you zat m'boy Cam, he's a good man. You must know I will not tolerate this behavior. Now continue the debriefing Colonel Carter while I continue reading my bird-watchers handbook."
Sam: "Thank you Sir, as I was trying to say this mysterious figure must also possess a ring of power since he shouted Hewo and suddenly Cambo appeared. Also the Jaffa on the planet claimed to be in the service of Apophis."
Laundry (Looking up from his book): "Right, very well, carry on and investigate this further."
SG-1 leaves the briefing room and prepares to return to the planet. After 30 minutes, Mitchell needed to recover from the Zat blast and he needed to change his pants, SG-1 returns to the planet when suddenly from the sky Apophis's new mothership descends and beams SG-1 into it.
Apophis (Glowing his eyes): "Kneel before me, for I am Apophis, King of the Replicators."
Teal'c: "I don't kneel before false Gods."
Daniel: "I thought you were dead, why aren't you dead?"
Apophis: "Silence! TPTB ran out of ideas so they brought me back and now I will finally kill you."
Daniel (Whispering to Sam and Teal'c): "We must combine the rings or he's going to kill us."
Teal'c: "Indeed, but it does not appear to be wise to do so. It might result in the creation of Cambo again."
Sam (Thoughtful): You're right, but we have the risk it. The rings are our only way out since only with them we can create a subspace bubble which brings us back to the gate!" (Daniel, Teal'c and Sam shout their ring activation words)
Teal'c (After noticing nothing happened again): "It is not working. This must be because of O'Neill missing." (Suddenly the hear the mysterious voice again)
Mysterious voice: "Hewo!" (Strange glowing light appears) "When all these powers are combined I am Colonel Cambo!"
Apophis: "Who are you? How dare you defy a God like this?"
Cambo: "I am Cambo and I will be your undoing." (Cambo fires his plot devices and plot holes at Apophis, and they conveniently create the subspace bubble that brings SG-1 to the gate and destroys Apophis's mother ship.)
Sam (Shipper eyes): "Cambo, how can we ever thank you! I'd do anything for
you! You're my Hewo!" (Daniel looks at Cambo's ring finger and is shocked)
Cambo: "It's my pleasure to serve" (Cambo disappears)
Teal'c (Looking around): "Has anyone seen Colonel Mitchell?"
Sam (Shocked): "No, where is he?"
Mitchell (Comes running from behind the Stargate and laughs before saying): "Ha-ha! Fooled you! I was hiding behind the Stargate! Damn, you're bad at Hide and Seek!" (Teal'c zats Mitchell again)
Daniel (Mysteriously): "Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul, ash nazg thrakatulûk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul." (The sky darkens as lightning storms fill the sky)
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