things you would not want to hear on the SGC's intercom

[Lunaeclipse]

"What do you mean, Flash Gordon approaching?"

I can't green this at the moment, but I have to say I smile every time I see this post.

[avp60685]

"Holy cow, what the heck was that?"

[ShipperWriter]

Walter: "Incoming wormhole!"
Other tech: "Umm, Chief, the Stargate's not active."
Walter: "I know."
Other tech: "Then why did you say that?"
Walter: "April Fool's?"

[avp60685]

"It's Peanut butter jelly time!"

[Lilith]

*badgers start spewing uncontrollably thru the gate*
Gate Tech: it's a badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, SNAKE! SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE! aaand it's a badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, SNAKE! SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE! aaand it's a badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, SNAKE! SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE! aaand it's a badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger.......

[Lunaeclipse]

"...You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out- "
General: "Jack!! What are you doing?"

[avp60685]

"Okay who didn't put the toilet seat down?"

[Lunaeclipse]

"Um, hey there. Anyone seen a great big - giant living ship? I don't know how I got here, but I need to get back kind of urgently... there is a situation I need to ... damn it."

[Lunaeclipse]

Voice: "You want to see vomit, Crichton? Nobody wants to see vomit?"
Sam: Mitchell, what are you doing in here?
Mitchell: Watching a tv show.
Sam: In here?...
Mitchell: Yeah... I have to wait for the general and it was here.
Sam: Did you know the intercom was on?

[Lunaeclipse]

"The number you have dialed is either disconnected or out of the coverage area."

The planet you have dialed is either disconnected or out of the coverage area.

[Lunaeclipse]

All our operators are on other planets at the moment... please hold. Your call is important to us. You are #9 in the cue.

[Lunaeclipse]

"Khaaaaan!!!!!"

[avp60685]

"Who ordered the pizza? We have an off world delivery alien who has a pizza delivery"

[Lunaeclipse]

Attention all Personal...no wait...not all personal... just Daniel... and he's in big trouble.

[ShipperWriter]

"Scheduled off world activation!"