things you would not want to hear on the SGC's intercom

[Mac1131]

Sam: Jack I love you and I can't live without you Marry me?

[ReganX]

Mitchell: I'll never quit. (Everyone at the SGC sobs, screams and wails in anguish)

[Lilith]

Daniel: I'm leaving and never coming back.
Walter: Well, there goes the planet.

[Wraith Scientist]

Landry: I just wanted to let you know that Colonel Carter has finally been persuaded to take a long overdue vacation and that, for the next month, all scientific problems will be handled by Dr Lee. I'm sure we'll manage just fine and I know... *rest of Landry's announcement drowned out by panicked screams*

Landry: *following on from previous annoncement* Sorry, did I say Dr Lee? I meant Dr Felger ... *everyone bolts for the exits*

Landry: Hallowed are the Ori ... wait a second ... is this thing on?

Landry: Hey you, get back to hallowing the Ori

[Darkside84]

Sam: I quit!

there goes the planet

[Darkside84]

Mitchell: I'll never quit.

damn right go mitchell

[ejohnno]

Jack: ooo this red button is shiny *click* *over head sirens go off* *SELF DESTRUCT IN 5 SECONDS 5. 4. 3. 2. 1......................
..........................................
..........................................
..........................................*

Jack: That was just a drill Good Morning Campers!

[keshya]

O'Neill: this is a message concerning the departure of Dr. Daniel Jackson. He was not only a brilliant scientist, but also a good friend, ...

after the speech

O'Neill: all right, I'm taking bets. I say he's back in two days, who says sooner?

_______


sam: Jack! I'm pregnant!

[ReganX]

Hammond: Following the results of the latest physicals, Dr Jackson is now banned from consuming coffee of any kind. All personnel are hereby ordered to take the mug from him, by force if necessary, if he is seen to be drinking coffee.

[Jumper One]

Landry: Well guys, bad news. The International Committee cut off all our funding. So, it looks like were gonna have to a have a bake sale. Walter, you make brownies, and I'll bring in sugar cookies.

[Chutzpah]

General Landry: "SG-12, report to the breifing room please"

General Landry: "Now, where was I? So, many a Tequilla later were back at her house... anyway fast foward to this morning and I have this rash, see, it runs all the way up my inner thigh and onto my..."

Doctor: "Sir, should the red light still be on?"

General Landry: "Oh Sh.. *click*"

[keshya]

Bow before your God!

[ejohnno]

*thud* *thud* *thud*.............*thud*

Hammond: I SAID OPEN THE IRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Lokii]

Attention: The mess hall is temporarily out of cake. Please do not panic, this is a temporary situation.

[sgeureka]

"Stargate SG-1 is brought to you by the SciFi Channel."