Page 5 of 181 FirstFirst ... 23456781555105 ... LastLast
Results 81 to 100 of 3602

Thread: Fic help.

  1. #81
    Colonel CeeKay Sheppard's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2005
    Location
    What? How did I get here?
    Posts
    5,628

    Chevron Re: Fic help.

    Quote Originally Posted by Skydiver
    LOL

    i'm sorry. i just guessed. do you want me to go back and edit my post?
    Nah... no biggie. I only ever write about Sheppard, anyway. He's just so... whumpable.

    you know, he could still be shot and it could still be serious without involving an artery. subclavian artery, so you're aiming for a shoulder wound. Well bullets can bounce off the scapula and end up back in the chest. It can be pressing against the heart, creating an issue that needs to be dealt with (although chest surgery would be a serious issue as well)

    what if, instead of the artery, it hits a vein? lower pressure, it's more forgiving but can still be serious.

    even with that though, i wouldn't imagine your person would be too mobile

    simply removing the bullet and dealing with the muscular damage and lack of movement could incapicitate your person. i would imagine witha shot in the shoulder that their arm is pretty much useless. not to mention them not moving well and even breathing would hurt. even if the ribs aren't involved, you still use most of your chest muscles to breathe

    and there is that pesky infection issue as well. antibiotics weren't widely used until WWII adn most folks died of infection rather than their wound.
    Oh, wow... most of this is pretty much news to me. You see, this is the same issue I'm having with my first SGA fic, "Plague." I know a little about anatomy, but absolutely nothing about medicine, which makes writing convincing whump quite difficult. (Unfortunately, that didn't stop me then... )

    Hey, what if the bullet encountered the scapula from behind (he got shot in the back)? Would it bounce off? Or would it embed itself in the bone? ...Or break it? I suppose it would depend somewhat on the range – and whether or not those military vests are bulletproof, which I somehow doubt (IIRC,
    Spoiler:
    the monster in "Epiphany" claws right through it.
    But I could be wrong). The "life-threatening" bit isn't really essential to the story – he just has to get shot, and it has to be bad (without being permanently crippling). In fact, I was only thinking shoulder wound because I didn't want him dead.

    Oh, brainstorm! The tech level of the planet could be fairly primitive, and the weapon could be an arrow instead of a bullet. That, I think, I can deal with. Native herbal remedies can be very effective (especially in sci-fi )...

    Yeah... I don't want to give it all away, but considering what you've told me, I think I have this pretty well under control now. Thanks!
    http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a2.../sheylama6.png
    Member of W.A.S.P. ~ My Fan Fiction ~MySpace ~ Thanks to *E*K*R* for the sig!

  2. #82
    You call that a glowstick?
    (Moderator)
    Skydiver's Avatar
    Member Since
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    54,872

    Default Re: Fic help.

    lol, yes he is whumpable

    if you're interested, here's a good group for research

    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fanfic_med/

    generally speaking, if you want your character to survive, don't let them have an arterial injury unless they're in the sgc. In the case of the aorta (main chest artery off the heart), pulmonary (the artery to the lung), femoral (leg artery) or brachial artery (in the arms) - and the ever popular carotid (neck) arteries, if any of those are damaged/severed, your character has about 4-8 minutes before they bleed to death

  3. #83
    Colonel CeeKay Sheppard's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2005
    Location
    What? How did I get here?
    Posts
    5,628

    Talking Re: Fic help.

    Quote Originally Posted by Skydiver
    lol, yes he is whumpable

    if you're interested, here's a good group for research

    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/fanfic_med/

    generally speaking, if you want your character to survive, don't let them have an arterial injury unless they're in the sgc. In the case of the aorta (main chest artery off the heart), pulmonary (the artery to the lung), femoral (leg artery) or brachial artery (in the arms) - and the ever popular carotid (neck) arteries, if any of those are damaged/severed, your character has about 4-8 minutes before they bleed to death
    Thank you!
    http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a2.../sheylama6.png
    Member of W.A.S.P. ~ My Fan Fiction ~MySpace ~ Thanks to *E*K*R* for the sig!

  4. #84
    Lieutenant Colonel Mr Prophet's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2004
    Location
    Huntingdon
    Posts
    3,933

    Default Re: Fic help.

    Quote Originally Posted by CeeKay Sheppard
    Oh, wow... most of this is pretty much news to me. You see, this is the same issue I'm having with my first SGA fic, "Plague." I know a little about anatomy, but absolutely nothing about medicine, which makes writing convincing whump quite difficult. (Unfortunately, that didn't stop me then... )
    If I may suggest, pain and simile? Just imagine that you have been shot in the shoulder; would you know that it had barely touched the subclavian artery but glanced off into the chest cavity? Or would you just know that it hurt like anything?

    Injuries actually don't always feel like you'd expect. Have you ever heard a police officer - or anyone else for that matter - describe getting stabbed? If they didn't realise the other guy had a knife, they usually say that they were initially surprised at how hard they had been punched. Even a veteran whumpee like Sheppard isn't going to be able to identify his injury in anatomical detail while he lies there bleeding out, so unless Beckett is there there's not much call for detail.

    Vagueness is a happier writing partner than inaccuracy. Words I try to live by.

    Would it bounce off? Or would it embed itself in the bone? ...Or break it?
    Is the cat dead or alive? Bullets and bodies do funny things sometimes; there are people who survive being shot in the head with almost no ill-effects.

    I suppose it would depend somewhat on the range – and whether or not those military vests are bulletproof, which I somehow doubt (IIRC,
    Spoiler:
    the monster in "Epiphany" claws right through it.
    But I could be wrong).
    Remember, Kevlar bullet-proof vests are designed to spread the impact of an attack along the fibres of the weave; they are pretty much useless against anything that puts all the force on a small point, such as a sharp blade or a high-velocity rifle round, and they cut pretty easily. To give a little extra protection, they put trauma plates in - ceramic pads designed to shatter when a high-velocity slug hts them, dissipating the force so that the kevlar can absorb it, but lightweight body armour that also stops knives is something that the Met worked on for years.

    Note, then, that an arrow would slice clean through kevlar.

    Also, bullet-proof is a misnomer; they're mostly designed to take small-arms fire at long range, ricochets and light shrapnel. Moreover, even if it does stop a bullet, the wearer is likely to have a huge bruise and possibly even broken bones; just not a messy bullet hole. The only real protection from a close-range shot with a modern, military firearm is to not be hit.
    Behold the majesty that is...GERALD!
    - Read The Prophet's fan fiction at The Lost Vegas Public Library.

  5. #85
    You call that a glowstick?
    (Moderator)
    Skydiver's Avatar
    Member Since
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    54,872

    Default Re: Fic help.

    oh yeah. that's the biggest 'mistake' with a bullet 'proof' vest

    the shot person doesn't just jump up and is fine. s/he is gonna have one hell of a bruise from all that impact. and might even have some soft tissue injuries, bruised ribs, broken ribs, etc.

    as to getting shot, never happened to me so i can't share, but any injury doesn't hurt at first. there are a few seconds where it's painless. the nerves are too shocked to realize something has happened.

    then it hurts.

    another thing, internal bleeding hurts. the body doesn't like loose blood and you will have this achy burning feeling

    so, imagine someone getting shot

    they'll feel the impact. get knocked over. wonder why they're knocked over. they might feel this watery warmth of the blood before it hits them that it IS blood.

    tehn it'll start to hurt. niggling at first, then sharper

    how they handle it is up to thier tolerance for pain and how bad it is. some have a high pain tolerance and can function. others just cant' handle it and pass out

  6. #86
    Lieutenant Colonel Mr Prophet's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2004
    Location
    Huntingdon
    Posts
    3,933

    Default Re: Fic help.

    I really have no idea how realistic it was, but one of my better character-gets-shot scenes - artistically - had Ferretti feeling all light-headed and achey and wondering who the man was whom people were shouting was down, and only slowly realising that it was him.
    Behold the majesty that is...GERALD!
    - Read The Prophet's fan fiction at The Lost Vegas Public Library.

  7. #87
    Colonel CeeKay Sheppard's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2005
    Location
    What? How did I get here?
    Posts
    5,628

    Earth Symbol Re: Fic help.

    Hey, thanks for all the insights! That will definitely be useful in the future – the fic I'm working on now kind of evolved into a journal entry, so Sheppard is looking back on the incident about two weeks later. He saw it coming, too (jumped into the arrow's path to save a little girl), so that would have an effect on the narration as well. But now I have a much better idea of what I'm doing, so thank you both very much!
    http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a2.../sheylama6.png
    Member of W.A.S.P. ~ My Fan Fiction ~MySpace ~ Thanks to *E*K*R* for the sig!

  8. #88
    Major General BruTak's Avatar
    Member Since
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The Triskelion.
    Posts
    11,051

    Teal'c Re: Fic help.

    Okay, any history buffs out there? Are there any known cases of British military units going "missing", just vanishing into thin air?

    I seem to recall there was one during the First World War, but I'm kind of aiming for something around the early to mid 1800's mark.
    I've kind of got a notion of and SG team finding the descendants of some Riflemen who were abducted by a Goa'uld - maybe I've just seen "The Man Who Would Be King" once too often...

    Long before you and I were born, others beat these benches with their empty cups,
    To the night and its stars, to the here and now with who we are.

    Another sunrise with my sad captains, with who I choose to lose my mind,
    And if it's all we only pass this way but once, what a perfect waste of time.

  9. #89
    Colonel SilverRider's Avatar
    Member Since
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Riding her scooty throne in the Poking Land
    Posts
    7,456

    Default Re: Fic help.

    I'm doing a Shep/Carson/Radek whumping fic but I dunno where to start

    Anyone wanna help?

  10. #90
    You call that a glowstick?
    (Moderator)
    Skydiver's Avatar
    Member Since
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    54,872

    Default Re: Fic help.

    Quote Originally Posted by BruTak
    Okay, any history buffs out there? Are there any known cases of British military units going "missing", just vanishing into thin air?

    I seem to recall there was one during the First World War, but I'm kind of aiming for something around the early to mid 1800's mark.
    I've kind of got a notion of and SG team finding the descendants of some Riflemen who were abducted by a Goa'uld - maybe I've just seen "The Man Who Would Be King" once too often...
    well, given the near total lack of communications in that time period, i'd say y you'd have no issue just making one up

  11. #91
    You call that a glowstick?
    (Moderator)
    Skydiver's Avatar
    Member Since
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    54,872

    Default Re: Fic help.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilverRider
    I'm doing a Shep/Carson/Radek whumping fic but I dunno where to start

    Anyone wanna help?
    at the beginning????

    sorry.

    well, you have three basic choices

    start linear, with the characters going on the mission that gets them in trouble and whumped

    start in the middle, with them being whumped, flash back to how they got there and deal with them being rescued

    start at the end, them home and safe and carson taking care of them and tell the story in flashbacks

    any of the three could work, it's just a matter of how you want to do it.

    i would suggest....give things a reason. if someone is whumping on them, htere needs to be a reason other than 'i want them owied'

    the more of a reason the baddies have, the more real they are and the 'better' the fic

  12. #92
    Colonel SilverRider's Avatar
    Member Since
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Riding her scooty throne in the Poking Land
    Posts
    7,456

    Default Re: Fic help.

    Quote Originally Posted by Skydiver
    at the beginning????

    sorry.

    well, you have three basic choices

    start linear, with the characters going on the mission that gets them in trouble and whumped

    start in the middle, with them being whumped, flash back to how they got there and deal with them being rescued

    start at the end, them home and safe and carson taking care of them and tell the story in flashbacks

    any of the three could work, it's just a matter of how you want to do it.

    i would suggest....give things a reason. if someone is whumping on them, htere needs to be a reason other than 'i want them owied'

    the more of a reason the baddies have, the more real they are and the 'better' the fic
    I might take the first choice that seems more ideal, Plus I can leave my readers in suspence to a while

  13. #93
    You call that a glowstick?
    (Moderator)
    Skydiver's Avatar
    Member Since
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    54,872

    Default Re: Fic help.

    there you go. you know how to begin it, the kids in a jumper going to the planet, already ON the planet ready to get into trouble or on atlantis discussing the mission

  14. #94
    Colonel SilverRider's Avatar
    Member Since
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Riding her scooty throne in the Poking Land
    Posts
    7,456

    Default Re: Fic help.

    Someone's keen on this fic. I'll plan it out and start typing away.

    BTW It's Called "Among the Stars"

  15. #95
    You call that a glowstick?
    (Moderator)
    Skydiver's Avatar
    Member Since
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    54,872

    Default Re: Fic help.

    cool.

    keep us updated, i'm sure for those among us that don't write, it'll be interesting to see how the whole fanfic thing goes.

    in some ways and for some folks, it's easier than it looks....but also it's a lot harder than you'd think

  16. #96
    Major General BruTak's Avatar
    Member Since
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The Triskelion.
    Posts
    11,051

    Teal'c Re: Fic help.

    Quote Originally Posted by Skydiver
    well, given the near total lack of communications in that time period, i'd say y you'd have no issue just making one up
    Thanks Skydiver, I'll have a think about it.

    Meantime, here's another query - I've got the germ of an idea for a funny fic, to be called "Teal'c's First Christmas".
    Nothing's written down so far, but I plan to have the following: Gen. Hammond in a Santa costume with Dr. Frasier as his "little helper". O'Neill inviting Daniel, Carter and teal'c to his place for Christmas dinner. Carter getting ever so slightly tiddly on eggnog and cornering her CO under the mistletoe. And the following line (or variation thereof) Teal'c: "I do not understand, Daniel Jackson. Why do the people of the Tau'ri choose to celebrate as a holiday the death of a man for his religeous beliefs?"

    Suggestions for who gives which person what Christmas present would be helpful. As would a general idea of the kind of Christmas Day-type TV shows broadcast in the US.

    Long before you and I were born, others beat these benches with their empty cups,
    To the night and its stars, to the here and now with who we are.

    Another sunrise with my sad captains, with who I choose to lose my mind,
    And if it's all we only pass this way but once, what a perfect waste of time.

  17. #97
    Lieutenant Colonel Mr Prophet's Avatar
    Member Since
    May 2004
    Location
    Huntingdon
    Posts
    3,933

    Default Re: Fic help.

    Quote Originally Posted by BruTak
    And the following line (or variation thereof) Teal'c: "I do not understand, Daniel Jackson. Why do the people of the Tau'ri choose to celebrate as a holiday the death of a man for his religeous beliefs?"
    I have to say, not only is this absolutely the kind of holiday Teal'c could get behind (Jaffa are big on dying for what you believe in), but Christmas celebrates the birth of Christ, not his death.
    Behold the majesty that is...GERALD!
    - Read The Prophet's fan fiction at The Lost Vegas Public Library.

  18. #98
    Major General BruTak's Avatar
    Member Since
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The Triskelion.
    Posts
    11,051

    Teal'c Re: Fic help.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Prophet
    I have to say, not only is this absolutely the kind of holiday Teal'c could get behind (Jaffa are big on dying for what you believe in), but Christmas celebrates the birth of Christ, not his death.
    Ooops! So it is, silly me...

    I've had a wee bit of a think about what presents the guys would get each other - Carter would get Teal'c some nice candles for his Kelno'reem. Daniel would give him a hat (something by Kangol probably) for when he goes out in public. And O'Neill would give him - wait for it - the Star Wars trilogy.

    Long before you and I were born, others beat these benches with their empty cups,
    To the night and its stars, to the here and now with who we are.

    Another sunrise with my sad captains, with who I choose to lose my mind,
    And if it's all we only pass this way but once, what a perfect waste of time.

  19. #99
    Colonel CeeKay Sheppard's Avatar
    Member Since
    Jul 2005
    Location
    What? How did I get here?
    Posts
    5,628

    Earth Symbol Re: Fic help.

    Quote Originally Posted by BruTak
    Ooops! So it is, silly me...

    I've had a wee bit of a think about what presents the guys would get each other - Carter would get Teal'c some nice candles for his Kelno'reem. Daniel would give him a hat (something by Kangol probably) for when he goes out in public. And O'Neill would give him - wait for it - the Star Wars trilogy.
    I like it. And congrats on 1000 posts!
    http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a2.../sheylama6.png
    Member of W.A.S.P. ~ My Fan Fiction ~MySpace ~ Thanks to *E*K*R* for the sig!

  20. #100
    Major General BruTak's Avatar
    Member Since
    Oct 2004
    Location
    The Triskelion.
    Posts
    11,051

    Teal'c Re: Fic help.

    Quote Originally Posted by CeeKay Sheppard
    I like it. And congrats on 1000 posts!
    1000 posts? Already? Wow...

    Many thanks CeeKay.
    *performs Dance of joy* Sings - "Happy-happy, joy-joy, happy-happy, joy-joy!"

    Long before you and I were born, others beat these benches with their empty cups,
    To the night and its stars, to the here and now with who we are.

    Another sunrise with my sad captains, with who I choose to lose my mind,
    And if it's all we only pass this way but once, what a perfect waste of time.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •