Sam Carter/Amanda Tapping Discussion/Appreciation

[SWMBOTGSG]

My Dad was in the RAF during WWII. He drove a crane and was engaged in clearing airfields of aircraft that made it back only to crash on landing because they were badly shot up. He told tales of the young women whose job it was to remove the crews that didn't survive - sometimes having to look for missing limbs. He was shocked at first at their gallows humour, but came to understand that it was a coping mechanism. This was in the times before counselling was the norm.

I have to say that we are very fortunate to have people like those women, and the modern day emergency service folk who pick up the pieces and shield us from some of the awful things that happen. Bless them all!

Mumsey

[jckfan55]

I have to say that we are very fortunate to have people like those women, and the modern day emergency service folk who pick up the pieces and shield us from some of the awful things that happen. Bless them all!

Mumsey

on an SG note, I swear I read a fic once where they talked at least in part about the personnel who clean the blood off the ramp etc....

[jckfan55]

Happy Birthday, JanSam!

Where's the party?

[kusanagi]

on an SG note, I swear I read a fic once where they talked at least in part about the personnel who clean the blood off the ramp etc....

Sounds very interesting. Not your typical subject to write on.

[Celandine]

Actually I was thinking today...i work in a nursing home where we lose people there all the time...it's kinda what happens at these places...anyways, I was thinking how hard it hit me yesterday when one of my fave resi's passed away quite suddenly and I got to thinking this...I sometimes feel that being exposed to death and loss, that one could quite possibly become almost immune to it. Do you think that could be possible in Sam's case? Do you think that after years of losing good people through the Stargate program that Sam could build some kind of immunity to death? I mean I asked the girls at work how they do it...how do they just keep on working when they lose someone especially when it isn't expected. It's gotta be tough. I mean, I don't work one on one with the resi's like the nurses do but I do have the chance to chat with them and help them sometimes with getting them to lunch or dinner or actually bringing their food to them and stuff like that. So how does Sam deal with losing SG team members? How does she not fall apart?

Sorry this is late in coming. ((((Chelle))))) Hang in there.

I believe we condition ourselves, according to our personality, to find a way to get through the hard times and everyone being different will have their own way. Our brains are wired like that; a survival tactic in a sense because some events are pretty horrific in life.

I know Sam was a mess after her mother died. but she didn't know how to cope, didnt have any familiarity with someone close to her passing on so she went through it the best she knew how. Later, during the Gulf War I believe she conditioned herself to find a way to carry on when her friends were dying around her and over the years, she only grew more experienced in pushing aside the grief. When she came into the SGC, my belief is that with her soldiers training and years of conditioning herself ( ie putting on a happy face when the hurt inside is excruciating) she channeled this grief in other ways as she couldn't vocalize it; throwing herself into her gadgets on those late evenings; buying a motorcycle and riding up into the hills of Colorado on her days off, etc... Perhaps this is even why she was so unsuccessful at finding a significant other. Not saying Sam is insecure or even superstitious. Far from it. Perhaps just seeing so many people over the years she's loved and gotten close to die keeps her cautious, no matter the longing of her heart.

Happy Birthday Jan!!!

Ditto! Hope your having an awesome day!

[kusanagi]

Sorry this is late in coming. ((((Chelle))))) Hang in there.

I believe we condition ourselves, according to our personality, to find a way to get through the hard times and everyone being different will have their own way. Our brains are wired like that; a survival tactic in a sense because some events are pretty horrific in life.

I know Sam was a mess after her mother died. but she didn't know how to cope, didnt have any familiarity with someone close to her passing on so she went through it the best she knew how. Later, during the Gulf War I believe she conditioned herself to find a way to carry on when her friends were dying around her and over the years, she only grew more experienced in pushing aside the grief. When she came into the SGC, my belief is that with her soldiers training and years of conditioning herself ( ie putting on a happy face when the hurt inside is excruciating) she channeled this grief in other ways as she couldn't vocalize it; throwing herself into her gadgets on those late evenings; buying a motorcycle and riding up into the hills of Colorado on her days off, etc... Perhaps this is even why she was so unsuccessful at finding a significant other. Not saying Sam is insecure or even superstitious. Far from it. Perhaps just seeing so many people over the years she's loved and gotten close to die keeps her cautious, no matter the longing of her heart.

All that and also talking to her flowers and plants (taking care of them) probably helps as well

[Rocky89]

if you dont mind my asking what exactly are you worried about on the outside... i believe its what is inside that counts the most...

The thing is, we live in a world where most people don't care about what's on the inside. Maybe 50 years ago they did, but the world has change, it's become superficial and shallow. Our society makes others believe that it's irreverent what/who we are on the inside, or how we feel about ourselves. Our society makes believe that it's what the other people think are right, they want everyone to believe that it's all about the outside, and how they should be according to everyone else.

I believe it's what's on the inside that matters, but it's irreverent what I think, I'm in minority. Those who believe it's all about the outside are in the very big majority. That's why I'm working hard, doing research and what not to change. There's this one girl I really like, and she likes me back the way I am, but that's what I have an issue with, I'm not good enough for her, and the odd thing is, she thinks I'm normal compared to her.

That's another reason I'm making it my goal to improve myself in more ways than one, because I don't believe she'd ever fully accept me the way I am, neither do I.

IMHO, they were ALL at their peak in s6. it's my favorite with only one 'cringer'

s6 is when the fun came into it and we got to see sam the big sister and friend

Personally, I think RDA is still at his peak!
As for fave Sam look....I simply adored the look she had in early season 4...before the big chop. Of course I also adore the look in the movies! [/I][/size]

I think they were at their peaks in S8, I don't know why, I just think were.

But that's for SG-1, I still don't think Amanda herself has reached her peak, I think she's climbing to the top. Maybe she will in 5 or 7 years from now, but for now I still don't think she's shown us everything she's got to give, I think we still have a lot more to see from her in more ways than one.

i dunno if she 'gets used to it' but i think she learns how to handle it.

I don't know if immune is the right word, but I think you just get better at handling it, and perhaps she doesn't allow herself to get too emotionally attached to anyone

Sorry this is late in coming. ((((Chelle))))) Hang in there.

I believe we condition ourselves, according to our personality, to find a way to get through the hard times and everyone being different will have their own way. Our brains are wired like that; a survival tactic in a sense because some events are pretty horrific in life.

I know Sam was a mess after her mother died. but she didn't know how to cope, didn't have any familiarity with someone close to her passing on so she went through it the best she knew how. Later, during the Gulf War I believe she conditioned herself to find a way to carry on when her friends were dying around her and over the years, she only grew more experienced in pushing aside the grief. When she came into the SGC, my belief is that with her soldiers training and years of conditioning herself ( ie putting on a happy face when the hurt inside is excruciating) she channeled this grief in other ways as she couldn't vocalize it; throwing herself into her gadgets on those late evenings; buying a motorcycle and riding up into the hills of Colorado on her days off, etc... Perhaps this is even why she was so unsuccessful at finding a significant other. Not saying Sam is insecure or even superstitious. Far from it. Perhaps just seeing so many people over the years she's loved and gotten close to die keeps her cautious, no matter the longing of her heart.

I agree, I don't think she's afraid to make friends, and I think there's a part of her that's always prepared to lose them. She knows losing people comes with the job, and she's ready for death herself, but like Hammond said, there are people you just get close to, and when they're lost, it can be very hard.

It's things like these that I can really relate to Sam.

[EH-T]

My Dad was in the RAF during WWII. He drove a crane and was engaged in clearing airfields of aircraft that made it back only to crash on landing because they were badly shot up. He told tales of the young women whose job it was to remove the crews that didn't survive - sometimes having to look for missing limbs. He was shocked at first at their gallows humour, but came to understand that it was a coping mechanism. This was in the times before counselling was the norm.

I have to say that we are very fortunate to have people like those women, and the modern day emergency service folk who pick up the pieces and shield us from some of the awful things that happen. Bless them all!

Mumsey

My Dad was in the RCAF.

I've never heard about the women you mentioned Mumsey. Interesting. What a very difficult job.

^Yes, I think Sam probably learned that the hard way. It's not that she doesn't care, but she doesn't let herself become close friends with the other SG teams. I mean she was certainly sad when they lost that guy in The Light, but it wouldn't be the same as losing a real friend.

on a related note, I remember in a commentary for one S9 or 10 episode when an SF gets killed on base, they said AT made a point to give a little sad look over the body. That she felt Sam wouldn't just find out someone's dead and go about her business without acknowledging it. She did a similar thing with Major Castleman(?) who died in Summit/Last Stand when she took his dog tags--sort of rested her hand over his for a second as I recall.

One of the many touches that AT brought to the role that I really appreciated.

We were also discussing recently in the Team thread the episode where Sam cries after Emerson is shot (Company of Thieves I think). Would be interested to know what people thought of that scene. I think the general consensus in the team thread was that it was a bit odd for Sam to cry over him when they weren't that close and she would have seen a lot of comrades die.

The thing is, we live in a world where most people don't care about what's on the inside. Maybe 50 years ago they did, but the world has change, it's become superficial and shallow. Our society makes others believe that it's irreverent what/who we are on the inside, or how we feel about ourselves. Our society makes believe that it's what the other people think are right, they want everyone to believe that it's all about the outside, and how they should be according to everyone else.

I believe it's what's on the inside that matters, but it's irreverent what I think, I'm in minority. Those who believe it's all about the outside are in the very big majority. That's why I'm working hard, doing research and what not to change. There's this one girl I really like, and she likes me back the way I am, but that's what I have an issue with, I'm not good enough for her, and the odd thing is, she thinks I'm normal compared to her.

That's another reason I'm making it my goal to improve myself in more ways than one, because I don't believe she'd ever fully accept me the way I am, neither do I.

While it is fine to want to improve oneself in some ways (for example, getting more exercise so you are more fit and healthier) one has to be careful not to carry that too far. Rocky, I think you should check out JuliaR's book. While it contains stories of women it really involves the theme of body image which applies to men as well as women. You can find out about it here http://www.youisforunique.com/

and while some people may judge others based on just their looks, those are people who aren't worth knowing anyway.

[katjoy]

Happy Birthday Jan!!!

happy birthday jan, have a good one!

The thing is, we live in a world where most people don't care about what's on the inside. Maybe 50 years ago they did, but the world has change, it's become superficial and shallow. Our society makes others believe that it's irreverent what/who we are on the inside, or how we feel about ourselves. Our society makes believe that it's what the other people think are right, they want everyone to believe that it's all about the outside, and how they should be according to everyone else.

I believe it's what's on the inside that matters, but it's irreverent what I think, I'm in minority. Those who believe it's all about the outside are in the very big majority. That's why I'm working hard, doing research and what not to change. There's this one girl I really like, and she likes me back the way I am, but that's what I have an issue with, I'm not good enough for her, and the odd thing is, she thinks I'm normal compared to her.

That's another reason I'm making it my goal to improve myself in more ways than one, because I don't believe she'd ever fully accept me the way I am, neither do I.

i guess ive just always been of the belief why pander to what society thinks... if the people you know accept you for who you are why does it matter what society and people you dont know think about how things 'should' be... ive even written a poem on the subject...

but while it is important to be healthy and admirable to want to make yourself a better person you should be doing this for yourself not for others... who you are and what you believe is what is important... like the words of a melinda schneider song go 'be yourself, everyone else is taken, and no one else can do the things you do'...




in relation to sam and death she would defiantely have coping mechanisms in place... its something that we do instinctively to deal with any number of things - develop a mind set that gets you through...

[hisg1fans]

]We were also discussing recently in the Team thread the episode where Sam cries after Emerson is shot (Company of Thieves I think). Would be interested to know what people thought of that scene.[/COLOR] I think the general consensus in the team thread was that it was a bit odd for Sam to cry over him when they weren't that close and she would have seen a lot of comrades die..

I never thought she was crying over Emerson.

At first when I first saw the episode, I thought the fact Sam was targeted by the bad guys and taken away by herself, then there was a time lag until the next time we saw her, and then her subsequent breakdown was meant to imply something had happened to Sam offscreen (i.e. rape/assault/torture of some kind). Even one of the bad guys refers to something happening if I recall correctly, which very well may not be the case as I haven't watched the episode lately.

In all the time I've read forums and discussions of that scene, nobody else ever thought the same, so I figured I was way off base. Then I figured Sam just broke down because of the pressure. Sometimes the pressure just has to leak out and tears are the only way it can.

As far as coping with the loss of comrades, I would say this is something Jack could and may have helped Sam with. He knows the signs and has been there many times himself. There were several instances over the years, where Jack was particularly in tune with the feelings or emotional states of his team. And he was shown addressing those fears, sometimes not in the most "correct" way, but in a way that his team members could understand and move on from.

[Skydiver]

i don't recall her crying over emerson, as much as having tears in her eyes when she shook her head to tell marks that he wasn't coming back

I never got the raped or attacked vibe, more i got the 'those meanies killed a good man who stood up to protect me and how the heck are we gonna get out of this' fear from her.

she was now ranking officer on the ship and the crew were now her responsibility and she knew that they were killers and how was she going to deal?

I challenge anyone who's ever had to break the news of a death - not to mention one y ou've witnessed - to not choke up over it.

[Rocky89]

My Dad was in the RCAF.

I've never heard about the women you mentioned Mumsey. Interesting. What a very difficult job.

One of the many touches that AT brought to the role that I really appreciated.

I didn't know your dad was in the RCAF, you should be very proud. And yes, those woman did to a long and hard job, didn't they? Another reason to appreciate Amanda.

While it is fine to want to improve oneself in some ways (for example, getting more exercise so you are more fit and healthier) one has to be careful not to carry that too far. Rocky, I think you should check out JuliaR's book. While it contains stories of women it really involves the theme of body image which applies to men as well as women. You can find out about it here http://www.youisforunique.com/

and while some people may judge others based on just their looks, those are people who aren't worth knowing anyway.

i guess ive just always been of the belief why pander to what society thinks... if the people you know accept you for who you are why does it matter what society and people you dont know think about how things 'should' be... ive even written a poem on the subject...

but while it is important to be healthy and admirable to want to make yourself a better person you should be doing this for yourself not for others... who you are and what you believe is what is important... like the words of a melinda schneider song go 'be yourself, everyone else is taken, and no one else can do the things you do'...

Thank you both for the words, and the poems, and I read that page JuliaR wrote, it's nice. I like that you is for Unique, it says a lot. I love people who believe it is what's on the inside that matters, but like I said, the world today and the people living in it has made their own image of what other should be like, they'll accept you if they think you're on of them, if not they won't want you. I don't look inside me to find a way to change me, I look to science and technology.

I also know poems, and Ellen Bailey one said- "Why would you want to be someone else when you could be better by being yourself? Why pretend to be someone you are not? When you have something they haven't got. Cheating yourself of the life you have to live deprives others of that only which you can give, you have much more to offer by being just you. Than walking around in someone else's shoes, trying to live the life of another is a mistake, it is a masquerade; nothing more than a fake. Be yourself and let your qualities show through, others will love you more for being just you, remember that God loves you just as you are, to Him you are already a bright shining star. Family and friends will love you more too, if you spent time practicing just being you."

The truth is, it doesn't really matter how you feel about yourself if you have others around you telling you you're something else. It's easy to have your own opinion of yourself, you can think of yourself how ever you want, but you can't control how others see you, you can't control what they think of you, and often what they think of you has to be based on some actual fact. It's not like they made their own ideas of you out of thin air.

Sometimes it's good when people tell you the truth, it keeps you from developing an ego and most importantly, it reminds you that you have the opportunity to change. I'm sure everyone here had bullies growing up, and I didn't like them either, but one thing is for sure, they were honest with you, they practically told you what you need to change. I don't look to me how I should feel, I look to everyone else, because they see 2 things, the real me, and the person I should be.

[Skydiver]

WHo you SHOULD be is who you WANT to be.

Heck, if i listened to my sisters i should have found some guy and married him and popped out a few kids by now. Or i should have gotten some office job and tried to work my way up the corporate ladder.

and the list goes on.

No one, especially bullies, shouldn't be telling you what you should be. In fact, the bullies are the LAST ones you listen to. Because they're not bullying you to make you better (in the empirical sense), they're bullying you to make themselves feel better about themselves...and in many cases, bullies are far more insecure than you are, they just hide it behind aggression and use your fear to keep you from seeing just how pathetic they are

[majorsal]

whenever there is a lot of ppl browsing the thread, i get worried.

[katjoy]

Thank you both for the words, and the poems, and I read that page JuliaR wrote, it's nice. I like that you is for Unique, it says a lot. I love people who believe it is what's on the inside that matters, but like I said, the world today and the people living in it has made their own image of what other should be like, they'll accept you if they think you're on of them, if not they won't want you. I don't look inside me to find a way to change me, I look to science and technology.

I also know poems, and Ellen Bailey one said- "Why would you want to be someone else when you could be better by being yourself? Why pretend to be someone you are not? When you have something they haven't got. Cheating yourself of the life you have to live deprives others of that only which you can give, you have much more to offer by being just you. Than walking around in someone else's shoes, trying to live the life of another is a mistake, it is a masquerade; nothing more than a fake. Be yourself and let your qualities show through, others will love you more for being just you, remember that God loves you just as you are, to Him you are already a bright shining star. Family and friends will love you more too, if you spent time practicing just being you."

The truth is, it doesn't really matter how you feel about yourself if you have others around you telling you you're something else. It's easy to have your own opinion of yourself, you can think of yourself how ever you want, but you can't control how others see you, you can't control what they think of you, and often what they think of you has to be based on some actual fact. It's not like they made their own ideas of you out of thin air.

Sometimes it's good when people tell you the truth, it keeps you from developing an ego and most importantly, it reminds you that you have the opportunity to change. I'm sure everyone here had bullies growing up, and I didn't like them either, but one thing is for sure, they were honest with you, they practically told you what you need to change. I don't look to me how I should feel, I look to everyone else, because they see 2 things, the real me, and the person I should be.

again i ask why does it matter what society says... why would society be right about what is best for you when only you can know the answer to that question... what you feel about yourself for yourself is the most important thing... you can take suggestions from people who care about you because we dont always know when we are hurting ourselves or others, but dont go changing who you are for someone who doesnt care about you... because odds are they still wont care about you when you change...

if people dont accept you for you that is not automatically a reason to change... just ignore those people and surround yourself with people who do like you and dont judge you because you are different... if someone tells you that you are rude, arrogant, bigoted or something that is actually hurting someone else then you can consider what they are saying, take stock of yourself and endeavour to improve yourself if thats what you want, because no one can force you to change if you dont want to at the end of the day... but your looks are not hurting anyone, they arent relevant to who you are as a person... why would you want to hang out with someone who despite the fact that you are a decent person has decided to belittle you because you dont meet their criteria of what constitutes good looking... beauty is in the eye of the beholder and just because person X thinks poorly of your looks doesn't mean person Y will... you dont have to think a person is good looking to hang out with them, talk with them or generally be polite to them... bullies are not helpful they are just that bullies... if someone is overweight and someone who cares about them suggests that their weight could be a health issue, that is concern and someone looking out for you... if someone calls you fatty that is a bully and not a reflection on you but on them... i was bullied and ostracised for 5 years at high school because i have acne and because i didnt like the things they liked... i learnt that if people dont like me for me they arent worth knowing or worrying about...

below is the poem i wrote a number of years ago...

Inner beauty

The beauty of the mind is too often ignored
In this superficial world where looks reign supreme
But it is necessary to look beyond a face
Beyond the shell that houses who we are
For it is not what we look like that shapes us
It is our personality,
Our perceptions
Our beliefs
Our hopes and fears
Look beyond the body to see the soul