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    My husband and I met on June 20th, had our first date on June 28th, and got engaged on July 20th. We were married January 5th of the next year. Once we knew it was right, we went for it. And no, we didn't live together first. Fifteen years later, it's still working.

    I would think that Sam and Jack, having known each other for much longer than I knew my husband,not to mention them having been in love for longer, wouldn't want to waste any more time. I think they would just pick a time and do it. Sam's long engagement to Pete, coupled with how long it took her to accept his ring, is more out of character for her than a quick ceremony with Jack. And I vote for marriage for them rather than just having an understanding. I see both of them as being fairly traditional in that regard.
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      Originally posted by fems View Post
      hedwig
      Yep, I agree. But I don't see Sam being so comfortable with Pete after one or two dates, let alone jumping in bed with him. When I started reading your post I immediately thought about Jack and Kerry. A shame that the show's time frame isn't always correct.
      I think Sam did what she often does when she's made up her mind or is working on a "project." I think pushed their relationship to move faster then was good and Sam having decided that her "project" was to get a life and have a relationship with someone other than Jack let him.

      I never thought Jack's relationship with Kerry was very long term. I think Kerry saw it as going somewhere after spending the night together then she had one giant wake up call when Sam came around and she realized she might just have been the rebound girl.

      Comment


        Yeah, you know something is wrong when it takes someone two weeks to accept a proposal...


        hlndncr
        Samantha Carter doesn't do failure and I believe stubbornness runs in the Carter family. So once she's decided that she's going to have a normal life, she will get that normal life. Until, you know, push comes to shove and she realizes that means she's supposed to share the rest of her life with the cop.

        I agree that Kerry was all hopeful and confident about her future with the handsome general, until Sam came along. Jack probably figured he should try to move on now that Carter was getting hitched. Or maybe he does have 'flings' every now and then (although I think of him more as a relationship-kind of person).
        Last edited by fems; 26 July 2011, 11:39 AM.
        Unmade Plans (WIP: 11/20):
        Sam's life takes a turn in an unexpected direction when she's faced with an unplanned pregnancy. The decision to keep the baby and raise it on her own will alter her life forever. Relationships are put to the test, especially the one between her and Jack. She doesn't know what to expect from him and he surprises her at every turn.
        On FFnet or AO3


        My S/J fics can be found on FFnet and AO3. I also tweet and tumble about the ship and my writing/stories.

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          Originally posted by hedwig View Post
          My sentiments, too.

          In fact, in my own mind, I can see a little scenario where they've been spending a week together (soon after the fishing scene, and before Sam gets recalled to the SGC), and they just look at each other and simultaneously say "Let's get married!" They both laugh at how in synch they are, and go off to the Justice of the Peace and get hitched. Okay, so not everybody would agree with that. But in my mind, that's how it could happen. And later they could have another ceremony for just a few of their very closest friends.

          sally

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            Originally posted by Bagpuss View Post
            Try the link now.
            Thanks it works now, at least I have a link to send a message
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              Originally posted by Kate1013 View Post
              While I agree with this to a certain degree, it's the timing of them getting married that bugs me. While I understand the issue with the frat regs, and I do believe they got together after Threads, many people believe they got married straight after - or before she went back to the SGC. For me this is OOC for both of them. At this point in their lives they'd only known each other as Sir and Carter, and Sam has just ended an intense and upsetting engagment. I simply cannot see Sam jumping straight into a marriage like that without some time for them to explore their relationship with each other. And I can't see Jack letting her either. No matter how much they love each other - or think how much they love each other, because at that point I would imagine it would be very hard to go from imagining yourself with someone to suddenly being allowed to be with them. This is why, in my SG world, I feel they wouldn't get married until some time later.
              There are shippers who feel that they would have had another chance (regs-wise) during the time Sam was on Atlantis, due to it being under IOA.

              I tend to be one that thinks they would jump at it sooner rather than later (after Threads, neither of them knows what the future holds, and I don't believe they would want to risk this fledgling relationship). After all...they've known each other for 8 years, have loved each other for (depending on the strength of your shippy glasses) nearly as long, and they've known each other in close living conditions in and out of the field, in all sorts of emotional settings. It's not like they've just met each other. I think Jack would be influenced by the fact that he nearly lost her to Pete by not addressing it sooner and more directly, and Sam has ended her relationship with Pete because while she can 'get a life with Pete', eventually they would both regret it because she loves Jack.


              Originally posted by fems View Post
              While I understand your reasoning, I find it harder to believe they would screw the frat regs. After all, Sam is a very by-the-book officer and while Jack takes some liberty with certain orders, he's also professed his love for the air force and I don't think he'd 'endanger' Sam by starting a relationship with her while they are in the same chain of command (which is after Sam returns to the SGC, or even while she's at Area 51 since she was heading up Stargate R&D and that might directly report to HWS). It would ruin nearly ten years of hard work for Sam trying to prove herself in the military/SGC, since she's been under Jack's command from the start and he would have recommended her for promotions to Hammond (and even promoted her himself in season 8).
              I always understood that R&D was under a different Committee??

              Originally posted by hlndncr View Post
              I believe that Atlantis is divided between military and civilian command. The IOA has control of the overall expedition. Sam was selected by the IOA with a recommendation from Jack to be leader of Atlantis, per the deleted scene in Reunion. Sheppard as the military commander of Atlantis reports to Sam as head of Atlantis, but has an AF chain of command as well. (At least in the early years, that appears to be through the SGC and Landry, as seen in S2, The Intruder. Later Jack and HWS/C appear to take more of a role.) In any event, I don't think Sam was back under Jack's direct CoC until she took command of The Hammond.

              Although it's never specified I think HWC is very different from HWS. (Something I think was supposed to be clarified in the third movie.) First, you have to understand how these positions are created and can exist in the US Government. The President can't create a division of the DoD out of whole cloth. (That must be legislated by Congress.) And the structure of the DoD is very different from other executive departments. There's no way General Hammond's position could have been established in the way it was, in the time frame it was to be anything other than a presidential advisory position within the WH. It makes perfect sense that it would take another five years to establish a permanant command within the structure of the DoD.

              I don't think getting married right away takes an emotional toll. I think they would be anxious to make it permanent and legal. And really, given that they are physically seperated, the extra emotional and psychological connectivity derived from a marriage I would think was a comfort to them. It doesn't mean that there relationship was stagnant. No matter how long you hold off on marriage it's still an adjustment. Personally, I think they would take the plunge. I know Sam tends to be more cautious than Jack, but I actually see her being the one least likely to hold back in this case because she knows what she wants and is going to have it. And once Sam is determined, there's no stopping her.
              Indeed.

              **And thanks for the political technobabble -this is why I'm glad that people of so many different backgrounds are fans...we all benefit.

              Originally posted by fems View Post
              I'm still not entirely convinced about this, especially not with her stint in Area 51 thrown in the mix. Landry was on the phone with Jack begging for Sam's return to the SGC so I assume she was his to reassign and considering she was heading the Stargate R&D department, I think it's possible she directly reported to HWS. And Landry obviously needed Jack's permission, either as her CO or his own.
              I always smile to myself and think that Landry is begging Jack to let her come back to SGC on a personal level. As though it is a personal request between Landry and Jack, who are friends -not as though Jack is her CO while she is at Area 51, but rather that she would be returning to his CoC (and placing her life back in significant danger as compared to R&D) by returning to the SGC.

              In my head they are fairly recently married, and while Sam has received the request to return to the SGC 'temporarily'...and accepted (it's not like her to have to get Jack's permission to do so, though I see them as having discussed it -they're in synch like that)...Jack is having a great time yanking his friend Landry around leading up to Sam's dramatic entrance (it is a VERY 'Jack' kind of smile she gives Landry, isn't it?).


              Originally posted by hlndncr View Post
              I grew up in a world where people meet, get engaged, and marry within 3-4 months. Anything else seems long to me. That being said, any egagement to was too soon IMO. The time frame I'm think of is sometime around when pigs fly and hell freezes over.
              Bwhahaha! Absolutely.

              BTW: (hlndncr & AKA) - My hubs and I dated for 3 years, engaged for 1 of those years, and just celebrated our 19th Anniversary. So anything shorter seems too short to me . BUT -I had just met my husband.

              Jack and Sam have known each other in 'intimate' circumstances for 8 years (outta the gutter girls -I'm talking about those 24/7 lives of soldiers that build up the band of brotherhood -the weeks of field exploration, the emotional highs and lows, etc -you really get to know someone in something more than a casual way). Again, I think furthering the relationship (even to marraige) post-Threads would not seem quick to Jack and Sam with their shared history.

              Originally posted by fems View Post
              Samantha Carter doesn't do failure and I believe stubbornness runs in the Carter family. I agree that Kerry was all hopeful and confident about her future with the handsome general, until Sam came along. Jack probably figured he should try to move on now that Carter was getting hitched. Or maybe he does have 'flings' every now and then (although I think of him more as a relationship-kind of person).
              Yep -stubborn & persistent is our girl.
              AND -I don't see Jack as a 'fling' person, either. If you look back at his history on the show, when he was not drugged (Kynthia), he was extremely cautious in persuing relationships (100 days). I like that Kerry recognized there was something between them when she saw them together. It made me like her -she's smart (and apparently a Shipper...).

              Originally posted by majorsal View Post
              Awww....how cute!!
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              "I didn't leave,because I'd have rather died myself,than lose Carter." ~Jack O'Neill


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                Originally posted by fems View Post
                Maybe... I guess it's a "cultural" difference; around here, we don't really do those over the top weddings that have to be planned a year in advance or something. So I guess what I see as a long engagement would be relatively short for the USA. I did think he was proposing way too soon though.


                EDIT:
                Hm, yes, but in Chimera it was obvious they had already been dating for a (little?) while, with how comfortable they were with each other. But still way too soon to propose.
                I don't really see this as a cultural difference. We don't really have big over the top weddings where I grew up, or where I live now - more of a number of factors determine the time frame. Such as applying for a wedding licence, being able to get a slot at a registry office or church or religious venue (they always seem fully booked) and having to save the money for whatever it is you want to book. Not that I imagine the last one being an issue for Sam, but the time frame didn't sit right for her IMO. (Although I think we all agree the timeframe of that relationship in general is a little screwed )

                Comment


                  Yes, but church/religion setting weddings aren't that huge here either. Most people I know that got/et married went/go to the registry office on Monday morning (when it's free) to get hitched and celebrate it with friends/family in a (regular) setting of their choice. Then again, most people I know are atheists or semi-religious (as in sending up a prayer every now and then and don't curse). Meeting someone who actually regularly goes to church (and isn't from an older generation) and feels strongly about their faith is something uncommon.

                  We don't say things like "one nation under God" or put "In God we trust" on our currency. In general, when it comes to religion there are more people who are "meh" about it or are atheists/agnostics than those who actively practice their religion.

                  EDIT:
                  Well, you were pointing out booking the church/religious venues and having to save the money for the wedding and it not being a cultural difference. What I was trying to convey is that people don't really spend all that much money on their wedding here, as most see it as a piece of paper that saves a lot of legal hassle (for children's last names/recognizing paternity, inheritances, taxes etc) instead of the most important day of their lives. And I think religion can play a big part in cultures, hence me mentioning it.

                  Because of all that, people tend to get married relatively quick after getting engaged.
                  Last edited by fems; 27 July 2011, 06:09 AM. Reason: To clarify
                  Unmade Plans (WIP: 11/20):
                  Sam's life takes a turn in an unexpected direction when she's faced with an unplanned pregnancy. The decision to keep the baby and raise it on her own will alter her life forever. Relationships are put to the test, especially the one between her and Jack. She doesn't know what to expect from him and he surprises her at every turn.
                  On FFnet or AO3


                  My S/J fics can be found on FFnet and AO3. I also tweet and tumble about the ship and my writing/stories.

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                    I think we're either getting our wires crossed or off topic here because the point I was trying to make doesn't really involve religion

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                      Hope you'll join us for Ship Day tomorow.


                      Art by the lovely Oma-1

                      Speaking of . . .

                      I've gotten a late start today so I'm giving everyone one more hour to send me their votes for their favorite fanfics.

                      If you haven't voted and you still want to send me a PM now. You don't have to vote in every category. You can pick and choose if you wish.

                      And for those who have voted, THANKS!

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                        Well, just waiting for the official opening of the Ship Day thread as it is already Ship Day where I am.
                        No Sam w/o a Jack and no Jack w/o a Sam.
                        It's like and immutable law of the multiverse.

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                          What do we do exactly during that 'Ship day'? I am new here so have no idea.
                          Do we bring cookies? I have some knitting experience
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                            Originally posted by muziqaz View Post
                            What do we do exactly during that 'Ship day'? I am new here so have no idea.
                            Do we bring cookies? I have some knitting experience
                            We share pics, fics, vids. Make lists. Talk about S/J. Just say HI! and have fun.

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                              Catch-up, again. Also, my apologies but I had to split it into 2 posts *grumbles about characters' limit*

                              Originally posted by fems View Post
                              The thing is, Garshaw was a snakehead to Jack.
                              Ah, I knew that argument would come up. I'm going to disagree with you here too.

                              I don't believe Garshaw "was a snakehead" to Jack. Sure, he was suspicious at first, but it seemed to me that over the course of the 2-parter she gained his trust and sympathy. I'm pretty sure he was smiling at her at the end of the episode. I've always thought they struck up interesting friendship, and I've always regretted that we never saw Garshaw again.

                              Other than Garshaw and Laira

                              *snipped for length*
                              As far as Garwyn is concerned, she appeared in 2 episodes and so Jack did have some interaction with her. However, despite the fact that she was the leader of her people and he very much needed them on his side, he was content to let his team deal with her. He dealt with Linea himself because it was a different matter - imprisonment as you noted - but again, he didn't resort to flirting or being extra-nice to get on her good side. Same with Lya. Same with Gamekeeper's female residents. Same with Dr Raully. There are many episodes in which Jack needed the cooperation of female characters and not even once he pretended to be attracted to them to get it, even when the stakes were much higher than a simple trade treaty with a rural planet. The fact that he didn't go out of his way to spend more time with other females but he did with Laira also proves my point. There's no doubt in my mind that his personal attraction to her played a big part here - otherwise he could have had Daniel do it, as was his usual MO.

                              So there isn't really anything comparable to the way he interacted with Laira in my opinion.
                              And even if you still insist there isn't, wouldn't it also mean that there's no proof to back up your interpretation, as well as mine?

                              He was still a major in Enemy at the Gate (SGA 5x20), which is ten years since his first appearance. The actor was 31 in A Matter of Time so I assume his character should be the same age. Considering he was working at the Pentagon in an administrative role, I'm surprised he was already a major at the time as he barely could have had ten years in the service at the time.
                              re bolded: out of curiosity, how do you know that?

                              I don't pretend to know much about military, but there are many military members on this forum and from what I've gathered, according to them lack of promotion for Maj Davis is appalling and unrealistic (unless he took the fall for the Prometheus situation, which wouldn't be fair, IMO). One of them even started a social group ("Maj Davies needs promotion NOW!"). Paul appears to be older than Sam, was a Major when she was still a Captain and he's *still* a Major when she made a full Colonel? Sorry, not buying that.

                              According to Sam in the deleted scene from Trio, he was going to retire soon.
                              I'm sorry, but as far as I'm concerned deleted scenes are not canon. *shrug* That's one thing. The other is, SG writers rarely plan ahead, and I doubt Gero knew about BW's plans to use Jack in SGU at that point in time. Plus Jack has been talking about retirement since the pilot, and 12 years later he's still at work, so...I'm not buying that line either.

                              Originally posted by EvenstarSRV View Post
                              The AF does have a mandatory retirement age of 62, which can be extended to 64 I think in rare cases, so Jack may not have a choice in the matter of retiring.
                              Ah, but you see, I'm in the minority who doesn't believe props are canon when contradicted by spoken canon. So IMO Jack's DOB is 1957, which makes him 52 at the beginning of SGU. So atm he still has about 8 years to go.

                              And I'd like to again thank all you shippers for tolerating and humoring a non-shipper like me all these months. I'm still a die-hard non-shipper, but it's been fun exploring the Sam/Jack relationship with all of you. As a treat, only the 2nd time I've ever posted this icon:
                              Your icon-related gesture is much appreciated! (in fact I think you beat me; I don't believe I've ever used that icon )

                              Thank you for participating; I certainly enjoyed reading your posts and looking on our ship from a different perspective! *hugs Evenstar*

                              Cam's promotion:

                              Thanks for clearing that up for me guys. As I said I don't really believe in prop canon and IMO credits aren't particularly credible either, so since it wasn't officially stated on the show I think I'll choose to believe that Cam hasn't been yet promoted yet.

                              Originally posted by hlndncr View Post
                              I make a distinction between HWS which was an ad hoc advisory position created by the President and Homeworld Command which I consider a new military command established within the Department of Defense. That would take a lot of assistance in setting up and Sam would be very helpful with military, scientific, diplomatic and command expertise. Not to mention she's one of the only people who has held command position at the SGC, Atlantis, Area 51, and is very involved in the ship building program. She would be extremely valuable to Homeworld Command.
                              See, that doesn't make sense to me. Jack was reporting to Hammond for a full year, he left to take over Hammond's position, not to create it. Even if it takes time to set-up such position in RL, the show never cared about such details so I don't see why they would apply here.

                              As for Sam, I'm not saying she wouldn't be valuable to HWS, but IMO there are more suitable people in Washington to help Jack. Sam can't be an expert on everything - and this is NOT a slight against her character. Besides, at the time we are discussing, Sam didn't have those command postions at the SGC and Atlantis in her CV yet.

                              I don't see why Jack wouldn't want to retire. He's been talking about it for years. He hates DC.
                              I think it's a matter of a different interpretation of the character.

                              I don't think Jack wants to retire at all. Or more accurately, even if he wants to, he's not ready. As much as he loves fishing and the cabin, he's as much a workaholic as the rest of his team. He'd go stir-crazy on retirement within weeks, IMO. The way I see it, he's also too responsible to make such decision; he knows that he's the best person for the job at the moment and he won't risk passing the job to someone who's not ready for it either. And finally, I also think Jack loves his military career and is very proud of it, no matter how much he whines about it, and that would factor into his decision as well. I'm sure a Black Ops operative like him could find a way to deal with his DC-dislike. So the question is, why would he give up the job he loves and to some degree fall out of the loop waiting whole days alone at home for Sam to come back from work and his friends to visit him, when he can have the best of both worlds: his job and his Sam (and his friends)?

                              I have no problem with how their relationship was portrayed on SGU. It was other aspects of their character that are not relevant to this discussion that I didn't like.
                              Oh, I know. That's what the first sentence of my post referred to. I loved their portrayal on SGU, separately even more than as S/J.

                              I don't hate Mitchell.
                              I know it's hard to believe reading my posts, but I don't hate him either. I used to, but I've mellowed over the years.I've come to like him even, at times. Cam has his moments and I can appreciate them and him, but that doesn't change the fact that he's an extremely poor leader IMO.

                              I don't see Cam with Vala. I think for many that conclusion is influenced by their Farscape characters. I'm not saying that includes you, it's just been my observation.
                              I think it's a popular belief and IMO it does have some merit. At first I too was very sceptical of this pairing, because all I could see was John/Aeryn...but as I said, in those 2 fanfics I've read Cam and Vala were just so *them*, so perfectly in character, that I had no problems believing they could end up together. I don't ship them or anything, but if the show had gone in that direction, I wouldn't have minded.

                              OK, I don't understand how marriage is OOC for either of them. Jack was married and I don't see any evidence that he's soured on it completely, and Sam clearly isn't opposed to marriage on principle because she keeps trying to get married--to the wrong people. And for me marriage not only conforms to their characters and my personal preference, it also definitively eliminates the CoC/Frat Regs issues, which I think they would factor into their decision.
                              I believe this is where our different interpretation of the characters comes into play. I don’t think Jack’s “soured completely” on marriage but I do think he associates it with his former life, pre-Stargate, and isn’t particularly keen on repeating the experience. I also don’t see Sam as somebody who “keeps trying to get married” – this, to me, suggest certain desperation that I absolutely don’t see in Sam. She got engaged to Jonas when she was a fairly young and inexperienced person and then she got engaged to Pete because she thought it to be part of that “normal life” she thought she should have had. Both times turned out to be mistakes. So I don’t see her eager to repeat that experience either.

                              I’m not even sure if I make sense, I just don’t see them married. Marriage is part of that "normal life" that I just can't picture them having or wanting. *shrug* I take your point re Frat Regs – marriage in these circumstances makes sense. But the thing is, neither Sam nor Jack are people who take the easy way out and frankly, we don’t even know if the Frat Regs have been an issue post-season 8. As I mentioned earlier, it seems to be too easy and too sugary for my taste, not to mention that it also introduces the logistical nightmare of timing, as Kate noted.


                              TBC
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                                Originally posted by Kate1013 View Post
                                While I understand the issue with the frat regs, and I do believe they got together after Threads, many people believe they got married straight after - or before she went back to the SGC. For me this is OOC for both of them. At this point in their lives they'd only known each other as Sir and Carter, and Sam has just ended an intense and upsetting engagment. I simply cannot see Sam jumping straight into a marriage like that without some time for them to explore their relationship with each other. And I can't see Jack letting her either. No matter how much they love each other - or think how much they love each other, because at that point I would imagine it would be very hard to go from imagining yourself with someone to suddenly being allowed to be with them.
                                Ditto on all of the above, but especially the bolded. This is the crux of the matter for me. Yes, Sam and Jack have known each other for a very long time, they are in love and they are friends – all true. But at the same time, they don’t really know each other as a man and a woman (and I’m not talking about bedroom activities). They need time to get to know that side of each other. There’s a reason why soldiers struggle to adjust to “normal” life after coming home from war; in the field they function and behave differently. And our couple had known each other mainly as soldiers, always on alert due to always being on front lines (the SGC). Besides, Jack was her boss for 8 years and this relationship must have had an impact on their personal relations. It’s not something that they are going to overcome just like that. And as long as they struggle with the power dynamics of their relationship I just don’t see them even considering marriage, let alone going for it.

                                Originally posted by fems View Post
                                Even if Jack and Sam started 'dating' after they both transferred (to HWS and Area 51 respectively), they would have been forced to "terminate" their romantic relationship once she went back to the SGC, since Jack would be her CO's CO. And even if that would be okay with everyone involved turning a blind eye or something, Jack would still be Sam's direct CO once she took command of Atlantis (and consequently the Hammond).
                                This is not entirely correct. You are basing this theory on nothing more than your own assumptions since the show never provided us with straight answers. There’s no canon for the chain of command Jack and Sam have been in post-s 8. It has never been explicitly explained what is the role of IOA and what that of HWS. Atlantis, at least in its later years, seemed to answer to IOA, or at the very least, they seemed to be the ones making personal decisions, like removing Sam from command and putting Woolsey in charge. But again, this has never been canonically confirmed.

                                As a side note, one of my very favourite fanfics ever, “Concentric Unto Thee” by gabolange, has Jack purposely withdrawing from making any decisions involving Sam so as not to be seen as influencing her career and personally, this is how I see him behaving.

                                The same confusion regards who the ships’ captains answer to. While in SGU Sam seemed to report to Jack, it’s possible they bypassed normal procedure due to the emergency. During seasons 6-7 there was no HWS but the captains had to have their CO, the question is, who? Then in AoT IOA had no problems with putting their representative onboard Odyssey (?) and Landry with putting Mitchell in charge – all of this was done without any orders or interference from HWS, which would suggest ship captains don’t answer to the Head of HWS directly.

                                IMO the whole issue is so muddy that the fans can believe in whatever they want and to interpret the events how it suits them. There’s no sufficient data to be sure one way or the other. And therefore the way I personally see things, Sam is not in Jack’s direct chain of command and therefore frat regs don’t apply. And no frat regs = no screwing them.

                                Originally posted by Kate1013 View Post
                                Wasn't her whole relationship with Pete about 18 months and their engagement about half that? To me that's not long but maybe I'm just old fashioned?
                                I don't think you are old fashioned . Generally, in my country people usually are together for a long time before they decide to get married, for the reasons you mentioned, but also because it is believed you need time to really get to know another person. For example, my brother and his girlfriend have been together for over a year and they are just moving in together now. Most of the family and friends think it's way too soon, and the thought about marriage hasn't even crossed their minds yet.

                                To bring it more on topic though, I totally agree that Sam and Pete's relathionship was progressing awfully quickly. It's just another thing I found unbelievable about it. Having said that, it's possible that Sam, used to living on adrenaline, in constant danger and conscious that her every mission off-world could have been her last, simply didn't know how to take things slowly, when everything in her world depended on her being quick enough.

                                I think I'm done
                                There's a good chance this opinion is shared by Ashizuri
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