Col. Sheppard and the nutty whumpers - SGA pic fics

[cc_mac]

Good thing you found it then
Some more to cheer you up!

Part 17 - Lost a scene, didn´t we?!

spoilers for "The Seed" (plot) and "Broken Ties (only pictures)"

Spoiler:

Shep: Say it... and I´ll shoot you!
McKay: Sorry...

This last one is hilarious!

[mackenziesmomma]

Good thing you found it then
Some more to cheer you up!

Part 17 - Lost a scene, didn´t we?!

spoilers for "The Seed" (plot) and "Broken Ties (only pictures)"

Spoiler:

Shep: I know what Beckett did with that drug...
Woolsey: I have no idea what you´re talking about, Col.
Shep: Stop playing games here, that nurse told me all about it!
Woolsey: Then you must know we did it to please your fans!
Shep: What happened to "by the book", "do not give in to threats?!" then, huh?!
Woolsey: Perhaps you better discuss this with your team, they´re the ones that turned you in!
Shep: I knew it!



Shep: Well, that has to stop now! You can´t put me in the infirmary every week, no hero is that weak!
Teyla: And no human is as strong as to never need medical care after injury. You must see that!
Shep: It´s SciFi - we always get right up after getting hit. Not even death can stop us! Well, most the times, anyway.



McKay: Well, there were a few complains about you always looking too fresh and upbeat.... we had to offer something to make up for that...



Shep: But, a TUBE?! Do you have any idea how horrible it is to have something like that stuck down your throat?!
McKay: Sorry....but after Carson called for the crash cart last week, and then you woke up too soon....



Shep: That should usually be a reason to be relieved...
McKay: ....well, it had some of your whumpy fangirls a little disappointed........



Shep: So, you just forced this anyway... by drugging and tying me up like a criminal just so they could see the intubation, no matter that it wasn´t really needed and all...!


´

McKay: To be honest, the camera people were so shocked about how we treated you, they forgot to take pictures, so there is no proof it ever happened, nothing to show for....so, it was all for nothing, really... I mean, aside from the pictures that show you tied up, but anything after Carson gave you that shot....



Shep: Are you serious!?
McKay: Well, the nurse had fun....especially when she applied the Fol...



Shep: Say it... and I´ll shoot you!
McKay: Sorry...

OMG, SAF that is HILARIOUS! Love it!

[bandcat]

thanks SAF the latest 2 parts were hilarious!!!!

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

This last one is hilarious!

OMG, SAF that is HILARIOUS! Love it!

thanks SAF the latest 2 parts were hilarious!!!!

Thanks

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

Well, the whumpers were nutty again... and so was I!

Inspired by this: Shep Whumps in the infirmary

Spoiler:

1. Intubate him (commonly known as Ginger cake) -Sheppy D
2. Keller accidentally tears a vein whilst taking blood. Ouch! -Queen H
3. Strapped to an infirmary bed and having convulsions -Ali
4. Start an IV- SheppyD
5. Having a bloody injury checked out by Carson while insisting "It's just a scratch..." -Vecturist
6. Concussion after tripping on his own laces - Queen H
7. Choking on too cold coffee (possibly poisoned) or burning mouth and tongue on too-hot coffee - Vecturist
8.havin an allergic reaction to something, but causes an adverse reaction, causing him to lose his clothes and change his appearence. - CKO
9.accidentally put deadly poison in his IV -Rymer (due to a horrible mix-up involving a lost glasses and illegible handwriting.)
10.accidental OD due to drug concentration mix-up - Vecturist
11.Being placed into a drug induced coma -Sheppy D
12 Insists on walking to the bathroom unaided, and faints passes out en route, tearing his stitches - Rymer
13 Being drugged up and loopy- CKO
14 Being given a lumbar puncture - SheppyD
15 Rodney drops his computer on him, having fallen asleep while on "anxious team-mate" duty - Rymer
16 hallucinates due to high fever, stumbles and falls into medicine supply cabinet, breaking the glass and lacerating an artery- Ruffles
17 the lead in the heart monitor has a short in it and shocks him - Ruffles
18 veins collapse from constant needle sticks - Ruffles
19 Wrist hyperextended to keep veins open for IV. Vecturist
20 Struggling to reach the glass of water on the bedside cabinet, he knocks it over and it short-circuits vital equipment - Rymer's husband
21City-wide power cut results his life support system failing- Rymer's husband
22 Oxygen cylinder explodes - Rymer's Husband
23 When it's discovered that he's going to live, after all, everyone claps him on the back, thus causing the hitherto-undetected minor fracture to get much worse, piercing important internal organs and sending him back to death's door - Rymer's Husband
24 McKay brings him some grapes, but ends up eating them instead. One falls on the floor. Shep slips on it while struggling out of bed. The green squishy thing stuck to his leg causes a short-sighted nurse to panic that his wound is infected, and they chop his leg off Rymer's Husband!!
gets tangled in sheets trying to get out of bed and breaks leg in fall
25 chokes on ice chip - Ruffles
26 food poisoning from broth made from sickly livestock traded from ally- Ruffles
27 IV pole falls on him when Ronon trips over it- Ruffles
28 Colonoscopy - SheppyD
29 bad reaction to anaesthetic making him shivery and feeling awful (been there.. done that...) - Ali
30 Inner ear infection making him all dizzy and off-balance - Ali
31 Mystery disease causing his immune system to shut-down, necessitating him being moved to a sterile clean room cos the slightest infection could kill him... - Ali
32 Allergic reaction to painkiller - Vecturist
33 Allergic reaction to antibiotic - Vecturist
34 Allergic reaction to vaccine (I've got allergies in all three) - Vecturist
35 Trips over laundry on floor, cracks skull, medical team must shave teh hair for surgery to relieve pressure ( HAIR WHUMP!)- Vecturist
36 Painfull Physiotherapy - SheppyD
37 Shep is in the infirmary with a nasty fever, the environmental controls go wrong, and blast heat everywhere and Sheppy's fever gets even worse, resulting in him needing to be stripped and sponged down! Hey, a girl can live in hope, and something tells me Shep wouldn't enjoy that very much! - Linzi
38. Ronon comes in & laughs at Sheps robe being on back to front! Queen H
39 his blood refuses to clot due to a mislabeled drug- Ruffles
40 the scent of incense that lingers on Teyla gives him a migraine- Ruffles
41 the cotton he sticks in his ears to drown out McKay causes an ear infection- Ruffles
42 has a cast on for a broken ankle and drops something inside it- Pocus
43 Infirmary bed collapses - Pocus
44 nurse trips and jabs him with a needle in his thigh- Pocus
45 Catheter causes UTI.- GG
46 cast on leg causes severe itching - grabs a long thin pointy thing to scratch the itch and cuts himself leading to infection? GG
47 Medical equipment is dropped on the floor - picked up and placed on the counter/table only to be used later causing infection? GG
48 ekg leads get tangled around his neck and almost chokes him - Lythisrose
49 foley catheter gets pulled out with the balloon still inflated (OUCH!)- Lythisrose
50 IV bottle falls off pole and whacks him on the head - lythisrose
51 After trauma Doc mistakenly puts the chest tube in the wrong side and then has to put another one in the other side.- Lythisrose
52Intubation tube goes into the stomach, not the lungs, he doesn't get any o2, he turns blue and they have to pull it out and do the whole procedure again (happens alot actually). -Lythisrose
53 Unknown allergen triggers anaphylactic shock...epipen fails, needs immediate tracheotomy - LCEB
54 they need to whack a dirty great big needle bang through his chest to restart his heart LCEB
55 His heart stops and during CPR, they manage to break his ribs, which in turn puncture his lung- Bebop
56 Gets an over enthusiastic bed bath from ugly nurse - Pilgrim Soul
57 while nurse is trying to remove glass from his eye, she accidently slips and stabs him in the eye with really sharp tweezers. (done it - it HURTS! lol) - Squonk
58 goes in with toothache and they drill the wrong tooth (oh and the anaesthetic hadn't kicked in)- Squonk
59 gets deep vein thrombosis from lying in bed too long, the clot throws and he ends up with a pulmonary embolism - Squonk
60 A common childhood illness leaves him with an itchy rash that covers every centimetre of his body. To prevent him scratching, Keller uses a new lotion. It stops the itching but causes much pain and turns him a lovely shade of bright pink - Astraldust
61 The blood pressure cuff refuses to deflate making Shep’s arm to go numb. Ronon quickly grabs his knife to deflate it but slips and stabs too hard causing a deep and bloody puncture wound that wouldn't stop bleeding - Astraldust
62 Well, Shep could be swinging his golf club in the infirmary, visiting Rodney there, who has a very bad splinter somewhere nasty, (had to get in some Rodney whump for Mx! ), and Shep slips on a wet patch on the infirmary floor, breaking his ribs and has him nearly drowning in his own blood from where a rib punctures his lung! Astraldust/Linzi!!!
63 The doc is possessed by an alien that ends up doing all sorts of evil things to him while strapping him to an infirmary bed -Erika
64 They can't find his clothes after he is released and he needs to go back to his quarters with his bum showing. Erika
65 Nurse trips and falls on top of his injuries, causing major pain, opening stitches and causing them to bleed again.- Erika
66 Strange bacteria contaminate the infirmary making all the food spoil rapidly. People only realize that after he ate his chicken soup and he ends up with food poisoning- Erika
67 whilst being cut to put in a chest drain, Keller slips and slices his left nipple off!!! - Queen Hathor
68 While in the infirmary with a tummy bug the city goes into lock-down leaving Sheppy totally isolated with no medication, water or a way to get to the bathroom. - Astraldust
69 Violently allergic to flowers Teyla brings to cheer him up - Vecturist
70 Has to have second surgery to remove tool or sponge accidentally left in him during previous surgery - Vecturist
71 Is not given enough anesthetic and wakes up during surgery - Vecturist

What if Sheppy found that list?!

Part 18 - Sweet escape ... or not...

Spoiler:

Ronon: Here you are! Been looking for you!
Shep: You can tell them, I´m NOT going back! Actually, I´m gonna take off for a while...



Teyla: That is a little drastic, do you not think so?!
Shep: That went too far last time, I´m so sick of this! And that nurse is one of them, I´m telling you!



Ronon: Well, they are looking for you already.... official whump week has been canceled or something, there is ....
Shep: An infirmary whump list going,... scary stuff!
Ronon: I know... been out in the open ...
Teyla: That is why we came here.... actually... the gate is guarded, they will not let you go...
Ronon: I´m sorry, buddy!



Shep: You´re not letting them in here, do you?!
Ronon: Nope!



Ronon: But I promised them to bring you back into the infirmary!
Shep: Ronon! No!! Please! Did you SEE their list?! Teyla, please! Help me!!
Teyla: You know I can not do that, John!
Shep: Why?!
Ronon: Because we are whumpers too, remember?!



Ronon: Let´s go! They prepped your bed already!
Shep: Oh, come on! Can´t you pick MY side for once?!
Teyla: We will... be sitting right at your side, well, bedside! See you later, John! And you might want to tell them to lower the head of the bed this time, it will be larger that way!
Shep: If either one of you does the laughing thing, I´ll kill both of you!

[Pocus]

You are officially a nut!!!!!

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

You are officially a nut!!!!!

thank you

[cc_mac]

Too funny!

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

Part 19 -- Sweet Escape / Part 2

Spoiler:

Shep: Well, what do you THINK happened?! The damn nurse "slipped" with the needle... I TOLD you they´re gonna kill me here!
Ronon: No, they won´t!
Teyla: They will only bring you to death´s door, and then bring you right back!
Shep: Well, screw that!!

A long week later...



Caldwell: What´s this about infirmary misuse?! I´ve been called for an emergency interference and I got a ton of work to do, so explain this fast!
Shep: Yeah, tell them, sir! They shouldn´t do this!
Carson: So, he was with you the last two days?! We were worried sick, son!
Shep: Oh, save it, doc!



Beckett: You know it´s how it´s supposed to be! Do I have to remind you of the special circumstances... well, no whump in two weeks....
Cáldwell: Of course, slipped my mind for a second, doc! Alright, go on....!
Shep: Huh?! Are you on drugs here?!
Beckett: No lad, but you will be! Back to bed with you!
Shep: Doc?! Please... snap out of it!



McKay: Yeah, come on people! You saw what happened last time, this is really getting out of hand now!
Beckett: Rodney.... one warning!
McKay: I´m just saying....
Shep: I got a bad feeling.....



McKay: I didn´t know they would stun BOTH of us!
Shep: So, you decided to play along the McShep crowd now?!
McKay: Hey, I tried to talk them out of this!



Shep: Yeah, thanks for trying anyway...now we´re both stuck here!
McKay: No no, no, don´t talk like that.. Actually I modified Jumper One, it´s ready for us in the underwater bay...



Shep: Why would they let you keep your computer?
McKay: Plothole.... not really important now...
Shep: Hm....



McKay: Why are you crouching?!
Shep: Ever heard of tranqualizer darts?! Are probably aimed at our necks right now!
McKay: That nurse let us go! She´s on our side!
Shep: Oh please! She took great pleasure in rubbing our situation in..
McKay: But she lets us go now, so stop complaining.
Shep: Yeah, ever wonder why?! She probably send a shark our way
McKay: Would you stop that?!
Shep: Well, I don´t trust her, okay?! Could be a whale...
McKay: Last time! STOP.THAT!



McKay: Are you okay?!
Shep: I´m fine...
McKay: I never heard that sound from you!
Shep: (sobbing) I never thought they´d take Ronon and Teyla that far to the dark side!
McKay: We get them back!
Shep: I hope so!

Part 20 ---- Sweet Escape / Part 3
contains Search and Rescue spoilers

Spoiler:

Shep: So, how does it look in there?!
McKay: No life signs.... should be safe!
Shep: Okay, guess we found our hiding place!
McKay: That´s amazing, looks like another Atlantis like city, maybe we find something to win our people back in there...
Shep: Sure, worth a try anyway....



Shep: McKay? Did you forget something?!
McKay: Oh s hit! Didn´t shut off our locator beacons!
Shep: Great (!)



Shep: Aw come on, Sir! You´re military! You should be trained to resist manipulation!
Caldwell: Who says I´m manipulated?!



Caldwell: I´ve been waiting for something like this ever since you stole my job, Kid!
Shep: I didn´t steal your job! It was given to me!



Caldwell: Doesn´t mean that I`m not still pissed! Well, we just have to make a quick stop before we drop you off in the infirmary...you´re needed in some settlement!
Shep: Well, at least somebody who needs me for a real cause!
Caldwell: Something like that!

Oh what an unfortunate disaster, the settlement was located in a building that´s not quite.. hm, well structured! But at least a friendly face showed up!



Shep (panting): This is just NOT.FAIR!
Ronon: At least now you won´t complain about not belonging in the infirmary!
Shep: This is not the infirmary!
Ronon: Of course not! Doesn´t make much sense to have you there BEFORE injury!
Shep: Never stopped you before...
Ronon: Well, you went all nuts on us about that... and we heard you!
Shep: Not what I meant by stopping this....



Ronon: You´re taking this way too personal!
Shep: Well, this is kinda about me right now! And.. there is something stuck in me!
Ronon: I know... let me....
Shep: Maybe you shouldn´t.... *gasps in pain*



Shep: Do you ever pay attention in first aid class?! You´re not supposed to pull things out of the body so carelessly, who knows what´s damaged now...



Ronon: Adds drama to injury....but if it makes you feel better, you can pass out now!
Shep: Gee, thanks, Chewie! Can you please get us out of here?!
Ronon: Caldwell should be on it right now! Hey, Caldwell, he´s ready now!
Caldwell: Copy that!



Caldwell: Beam him to the infirmary! Keller should be there already...
Maj Marks: Yes sir!



Keller: Oh my god, this looks really bad. I´m afraid this will get a nasty infection
Shep: Aw sh it, I told him not to pull that thing out....
Keller: Someone obviously wants you to suffer some complications...
Shep: What a shocker!

[cc_mac]

Poor Sheppy, it's such a conspiracy!

[Pocus]

Bwhahahahahahahaha!

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

Part 21 - Sweet Escape / Part 4
contains Search & Rescue spoilers, as well as The Seed (pics)

Spoiler:

Keller: You are lucky we´re just in a whumpy fanfic here, otherwise this could be lethal!
Shep: Now you´re trying to scare me... wait, what did you....
Keller: Well, good thing these stories tend to concentrate on making you better right after they get worse...



Shep: What are you talking about?! Whumpy what?!
Keller: Don´t tell me you don´t know about us being not really real?!
Shep: What?!



Keller: Oops. You were not supposed to know this, were you?!



Shep: Who are you.... really?!
Keller: What do you mean, who am I?! I´m Dr. Keller!
Shep: No,... you look like her.. some kinda trick... I want to see Carter, now!
Keller: You are in no condition to do...
Shep: NOW!!!
Keller: No! We have to prep you for surgery now....
Shep: Prepping me for a wake-up during it, just like in the list of the infirmary whumps, are you?!
Keller: Of course not! Now, hold still, I´ll give you a sedative!

Strangely, Sheppy doesn´t trust her and makes a run for it as soon as the sedative numbs his pains enough.... BUT, well, he´s got someone tracking him, after all, the poor guy might need help, right?!



Whumper: What were you thinking, running away from the infirmary?! You need medical attention!
Shep: Not from the medical staff from hell!
Whumper: You know we would never hurt you intentionally!
Shep: You want me to laugh now or later?!
Whumper: I´m bringing you back there now!

However, without a gurney, the badly injured aren´t that good on foot....



Whumper: Hey...you can nap in the infirmary...
Shep (groaning): Sorry.. just a little... dizzy here!
Whumper: You should be in bed!
Shep: I think I´m safer here! I don´t trust... Keller! I knew she was trouble!
Whumper: Okay, maybe Carson should look at you!

Back in the infirmary, now dubbed by Sheppy as "hell´s kitchen" for some unknown reasons *seriously, beats me *shrugs*



McKay: Carson, what did you give him?!
Beckett: Nothing but vitamins, actually...
Ronon: Doesn´t look healthy to me, Carson!
Beckett: Maybe I mixed the stuff with something else, it wasn´t really labeled around here....
McKay: So, what?! ....you accidentally poisoned him?! That´s not funny, Carson! You can´t tell me you´re fine with this....!



Beckett: I don´t know. Well, he´s still suffering from the rebar impalement, not to mention infection from the unprofessional removal of it! And all that running away didn´t help either....could be complications...
Ronon: So, what do we do now?!



Marie: Well, I didn´t stop my lunch break for nothing!
Beckett: Oh dear, you know that´s dangerous when it´s not really needed!!!
Marie: Well, then do your chest compressions as soon as he starts to flatline!
Beckett: Aye, but....



Beckett: Hold it! I think he´s waking up!

Part 22 - Sweet Escape Part 5 (Finale)

Spoiler:

Marie: Just tell me he won´t remember this!
Beckett: I don´t know, but I could give him another shot with that memory wipe drug!



Shep (woozy): No, please!! No drugs, I won´t say a thing, I promise! But please, no more drugs, and no more tubes!!



Beckett: We see what we can do, son!
Shep: Can I go now?! Please?!

*tries to get up, but something is holding him back* .... How unfortunate....!



Shep: This has to be a bad dream!
Beckett: Sorry, lad! We didn´t want you to fall off the bed... gonna remove them now!

Who would do such a thing?! How cruel
However, a while later.....



Shep: Alright, guys! Time to fess up! Who are you?!
Radek: What do you mean, who are we?!
Shep: You are NOT my people, you´re whumpers.. posing as Atlantis members!
Woolsey: Doc?! What did you inject him with?!
Beckett: Hard to say... the labels were all removed, could be something to cause hallucinations....



Shep: See?! The real Beckett would never be this ... incompetent!



Beckett: Hey!
Shep: Sorry.... DOC! But come on!!
Woolsey: Well, technically, he´s just a clone!
Beckett: Ok, we should tell him the truth now: Lad, I´m sorry but you are a FanFicWhumpShep! Well, we all are, well, FanFic characters here!
Shep: What?!!
Woolsey: It´s true, son!
Shep: That... that is not... it can´t be.... you´re kidding... tell me you´re kidding....
Beckett: I´m sorry, son! Perhaps you should lie down!



Shep: I´m never getting out of this!

[Suzieb]

Hilarious! I love 'em! Now, I'm off to join the ShepWhump thread!

[cc_mac]

And I loved Keller's "Oops".

[SheppAddictedFangirl]

Hilarious! I love 'em! Now, I'm off to join the ShepWhump thread!

Welcome!!
Oh nooey, another one corrupted ....
*shifty eyes "Did I do that?!"

Have fun there!

And I loved Keller's "Oops".

That face just screamed for that caption!