John Sheppard Whump

[Zelazny]

(Zelazny+hug+Shep continued...)

*Shep suddenly goes limp. Zelazny can't hold him up and he falls to the floor.*

Zelazny: *nervous* Uh, John? *nudges him with her foot* Sheppy? ... Yoo-hoo?
*silence*
Zelazny: *looks around* Uh-oh...

Hehehe! Who volunteers for mouth to mouth?!?!

[Salty]

(Zelazny+hug+Shep continued...)

*Shep suddenly goes limp. Zelazny can't hold him up and he falls to the floor.*

Zelazny: *nervous* Uh, John? *nudges him with her foot* Sheppy? ... Yoo-hoo?
*silence*
Zelazny: *looks around* Uh-oh...

Hehehe! Who volunteers for mouth to mouth?!?!

Me me!! *jumping up and down* *passes out from the sheer excitement of mouth to mouth with Shep* last thought - "don't want mouth to mouth from Rodney!"

[Zelazny]

(Zelazny+hug+Shep continued part 2...)

*Just as Zelazny starts to call for help, Salty walks by and notices Shep down on the floor*

Salty: What the hell?! Zelazny, what did you do?!?!
Zelazny: *defensive* Hey! He said he wanted a hug!
Salty: *totally understanding* Oh. Okay. Get a little carried away?
Zelazny: *slowly* Kinda... Do ya know CPR?
Salty: *face brightens* Oh, HELL YEAH! *drops to her knees at Shep's side* Okay, you do chest compressions, I'll do... *voice sqeaking in excitement* ...mouth to mouth.
Zelazny: *doing the chest compressions and counting* 1... 2... 3... 4... 5...
*Salty gives mouth to mouth, emitting a squeak of joy after each breath. They continue until Shep starts coughing and gasping.*
Shep: *gasp* Wh-what? What 'appe-
*Gets cut off when Salty gives him mouth to mouth again*
Shep: *sputtering* Hey! I'm breathing already!
Salty: So?
Shep: *mouth drops and a look of fear comes to his eyes at the gleam in Salty's eyes*
Zelazny: *snickers*

Ha ha ha! You guys better stop me before I write a book!

[emily_reich]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! *stops breathing from laughing so hard!*

[SilverRider]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! *stops breathing from laughing so hard!*

I ditto to what Em said....it's extremly funny

[emily_reich]

hehe... maybe i need mouth to mouth now... where's my guys when i need them??

oh wait, this is the whumping thread still??

[SilverRider]

*looks uncertain* dunno....let's hope it still is.

[Zelazny]

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! *stops breathing from laughing so hard!*

(Zelazny+hug+Shep continued part 3...)

Zelazny: Uh-oh! Now Emily is down! Quick Shep! Return the favor, give Em mouth to mouth before we lose her!!!


Shep: Do I have to?
Zelazny: *scolding* Yes. Now march over there and save Emily!
Shep: Fine! *muttering while going to Em* She better not want to smother like the rest of you lot... I mean, jeez, why me... just why is it always me...

Will Shep get to Emily in time? If he does will the grateful young lady smother him with her gratitude and love? Stay tuned for the next installment of Shep Whump...

Oh, God! I think I need to get to bed!!!

[Zelazny]

Okay. I'm done now. Had to get that out of my system.

[emily_reich]

NO!!!!!!!!!!! can't stop there!!!!!! i don't even get to find out if shep rescues me!!!

[Zelazny]

Okay, here we go...

(Zelazny+hug+Shep continued part 4...)

*Shep goes to where Emily has collapsed from laughter after having witnessed Zelazny's and Salty's episode. He kneels down beside her. He begins by giving chest compressions*

Shep: 1... 2... 3... 4... 5...
*Before attempting the mouth to mouth, he glances up at Zelazny.*
*As Shep looks away, Emily cracks open an eye and smirks.*
Zelazny: Stop wasting time, Sheppy! Save her!
Salty: It's your job, man! Get to it!
*Shep sighs. Emily quickly snaps her eye shut and loses the smile. Shep looks back down at her and begins mouth to mouth.*

*Suddenly, Emily's arms wrap around Shep's head. There is a bit of a struggle and the sound of Shep's voice is muffled. Finally, he breaks free with a gasp of air. He hastily scoots back on his butt to put some distance between him and the three young women before him.*

Shep: *panting* You guys are nuts! Are you trying to kill me?! I was suffocated by you-
*Zelazny smirks*
-attacked after being revived by you-
*Salty's eyes twinkle*
-and then attacked and neary suffocated again by you!
*Emily blinks innocently*
What is with you guys?! What did I ever do to you? Why do you want to hurt me, then help me, then ya hurt me again?!? Just what are you all doing to me?!?

*There is a pause, all three glancing at each other, then...*

Zelazny: Whumping.
*Sheppard freezes*
Shep: Huh?
Salty: We're whumping you, 'cause we like the flip-floppy tingly feeling it gives us and we like to comfort you and make you better.
Emily: Uh-huh. And this bit of whumpage was quite nice. What should we do next?
*Zelazny and Salty grin evilly*
Shep: What?! No, no, no, no! *he scrambles to his feet, backing way with hands placatingly out as the three women step toward him* You can't do this! It's just not right! *He stops* Oh, I am SO out of here! *Shep spins a 180 and sprints from the room and down the halls of Atlantis. With an exuberant cheer, Zelazny, Salty and Emily run after him.*

The End?



Ya know, it might be fun to start a thread in Off-Topic or the Fanfiction section of us just adding on to this little epic. Anyone interested? Or is this where it ends?

[emily_reich]

hehe!! "The Shep Whump Saga"??? me likes

seriously!! i'm dyin here!! and we have to know if we ever manage to catch shep again!

[Osiris-RA]

Poor Shep! Back off, you animals!! Back! Back!! Yaah!

[emily_reich]

well what ELSE are us whumpers supposed to do for the next three months??

[Zelazny]

hehe!! "The Shep Whump Saga"??? me likes

seriously!! i'm dyin here!! and we have to know if we ever manage to catch shep again!

Ooh, I like that thread name. So, I guess I'll make a thread for us to continue the saga. So what do you think? Should it be in Off-Topic or Fanfiction?