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    #108691
    Hey guys. I need your help. I'm having writer's block for ep one.

    I'm up to where they just found the ZPM room, then a small bit where Landry tell Woolsey and the IOA. I was planning to go into where the SGC control room is getting a message from Apollo, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I'm having trouble wording it right. Can I get some suggestions please. Thank you.

    Here's where Landry just told IOA:

    Spoiler:
    Landry walked into the briefing room. He had been informed of the news of Atlantis finding a ZPM room and despite McKay’s over confident ego Landry insisted to have Sam help them. Even though they had plenty of scientists there to figure it out, she would be great contribution as well.
    “Well, it looks like we have some good news. I just receive information that Atlantis may have found a room that makes ZPMs. We have are top scientists, including Colonel Samantha Carter working to see if they can get thing operational.”
    There were smiles and faces of relief around the table, Woolsey being one of them. He had complete confidence in his scientists and Sam that they would work things out.



    Laura: You're welcome. I can't wait to see what happens next or should I say, what happened.

    Comment

      #108692
      Originally posted by scifan View Post
      Hey guys. I need your help. I'm having writer's block for ep one.
      [Snip]
      Sounds good- I like the bit under the spoiler tag.

      What I'd suggest, is write a rough version, & then polish it up from there.

      I'm writing my own SG series, & that's what I do. Write a version, & then fill in the gaps from there.

      An episode is usually:
      - 55 pages, double spaced in Arial font. [I worked that out from seeing a few online scripts of SGA]
      OR
      - 28 pages, single spaced in Arial font. [for environmental reasons, I do it this way]

      I usually see how long my first version is (I usually hand write them first & then type them)- & I then see if they need expanding.

      I suggest you do the same for this- the scene where Landry's in the SGC Con Room & receives the message, leave it out for now. You can add it in if the ep falls short- it's not really necessary, concerning you have Landry telling Woolsey & co in the next scene.

      Unless:
      Spoiler:

      SGC Control Room
      Landry walks in.
      "Sir, we have an incoming message from the Apollo." Walter says.
      "Let's see it." Landry replies.

      Cuts to the Briefing Room- where Woolsey & a number of IOA members sit around the table, waiting for Landry.

      Landry walks up the stairs from the Control Room, & walks over to them.
      He sits down in his chair, before addressing them.

      “Well, it looks like we have some good news." Landry announced to them. "I just receive information that Atlantis may have found a room that makes ZPMs. We have are top scientists, including Colonel Samantha Carter working to see if they can get thing operational.”

      There were smiles and faces of relief around the table, Woolsey being one of them.

      Landry was fully aware of McKay's over confident ego- it was clear when McKay said he would work on the room on his own. Landry had insisted that Sam would help him- believing her presence would be a great contribution to the matter. He had complete confidence in his scientists and Sam, & was confident that they would work things out.


      That's just a suggestion over what you could do- you don't have to use it.


      PIC TIME:


      Kiss:



      Twas listening to the 'Conversion' commentary on Sunday- & Joe was saying he & Rachel had acted a few different versions of the kiss bit & his reaction. He was saying there was one version where he freaked out more than the version used (Martin Gero butted in at that point, reminding Joe that Martin was the one who Edited it.)
      This pic kinda shows that, don't you think?



      Will be back soon with some graphics. That's if Photobucket will let me do them........
      Laura.

      Spoiler:



      All Sigs Made By Me.

      Comment

        #108693
        Laura...that first picture is GREAT! It almost inspired me to make an icon!

        Now I'm off to work, again.
        sigpic
        Humor is the great thing, the saving thing after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations, and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place. --Mark Twain

        Comment

          #108694
          Originally posted by scifan View Post
          Hey guys. I need your help. I'm having writer's block for ep one.

          I'm up to where they just found the ZPM room, then a small bit where Landry tell Woolsey and the IOA. I was planning to go into where the SGC control room is getting a message from Apollo, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I'm having trouble wording it right. Can I get some suggestions please. Thank you.

          Here's where Landry just told IOA:

          Spoiler:
          Landry walked into the briefing room. He had been informed of the news of Atlantis finding a ZPM room and despite McKay’s over confident ego Landry insisted to have Sam help them. Even though they had plenty of scientists there to figure it out, she would be great contribution as well.
          “Well, it looks like we have some good news. I just receive information that Atlantis may have found a room that makes ZPMs. We have areour top scientists, including Colonel Samantha Carter working to see if they can get thing operational.”
          There were smiles and faces of relief around the table, Woolsey being one of them. He had complete confidence in his scientists and Sam that they would work things out.



          Laura: You're welcome. I can't wait to see what happens next or should I say, what happened.
          One minor correction in italics. Otherwise, it sounds great.
          sigpic

          Click here daily to give free mammograms
          It is better to be crazy for Jesus than a wise man for Satan. Laters, Misi

          Comment

            #108695
            I'm on my iPod because my PC is acting up. I hate this little keypad.

            Thanks LJ for the suggestion. Hopefully I can get back on my computer to finish it.

            Edit: Sorry Hun. I forgot to say how much I liked those pics. I wish we could see how he did it differently.
            Last edited by scifan; 10 August 2009, 06:29 PM.

            Comment

              #108696
              Originally posted by Everlovin View Post
              One minor correction in italics. Otherwise, it sounds great.
              Thanks Everlovin.

              Any suggestion on how to start the next scene when
              Apollo is about to tell the wraith is coming? That's what I'm stuck on, but if I can't get on my PC it won't matter

              Comment

                #108697
                Laura -

                Great Pictures! Never seen the one with the umbrella. And the Conversion ones - for anyone who ever said that Teyla was not kissing him back, take another look. Eyes closed, lips kissing - She was definately into it even though it took her completely by surprise!!
                sigpic
                Sig made by Cazzblade! Thanks!
                Forever!!

                Comment

                  #108698
                  Originally posted by YappiChick View Post
                  Laura...that first picture is GREAT! It almost inspired me to make an icon!

                  Now I'm off to work, again.
                  I wanna know what Joe's staring off at.
                  Looks like a cold & wet day- poor Joe n Rach.

                  Originally posted by scifan View Post
                  I'm on my iPod because my PC is acting up. I hate this little keypad.

                  Thanks LJ for the suggestion. Hopefully I can get back on my computer to finish it.
                  That's ok- glad I could help.

                  As for the next bit- sorry, I dunno. Maybe someone else could help out. (I've got my SG fic running in my mind- it's difficult to concentrate on SGA & that!)

                  Idea:
                  Spoiler:

                  Maybe have some chat on the Apollo- & then the sensors start beeping, & it's cos the wraith are there.........
                  I dunno- I'm just confusing myself with too many thoughts!


                  Whoops!
                  Accidentally told it to post before I linked my new graphics!



                  Spoiler:



                  All Sigs Made By Me.

                  Comment

                    #108699
                    Originally posted by Rockhound View Post
                    Laura -

                    Great Pictures! Never seen the one with the umbrella. And the Conversion ones - for anyone who ever said that Teyla was not kissing him back, take another look. Eyes closed, lips kissing - She was definately into it even though it took her completely by surprise!!
                    It's amazing how many BTS & promo shots that are suddenly appearing on the MGM SG website. Pity they never cared about releasing them till after the show was canceled........

                    And I totally agree with your comment about the kiss- & that was Rachel's first on screen smooch. PLUS, her parents were only a few meters away!

                    Spoiler:



                    All Sigs Made By Me.

                    Comment

                      #108700
                      Originally posted by LandJrule View Post
                      It's amazing how many BTS & promo shots that are suddenly appearing on the MGM SG website. Pity they never cared about releasing them till after the show was canceled........

                      And I totally agree with your comment about the kiss- & that was Rachel's first on screen smooch. PLUS, her parents were only a few meters away!
                      I know! I heard in the commentary that Rachel's parents were there and that she was so nervous since it was her first on screen kiss. It was sooo cute when JF was talking about it.

                      Just watched The Return again. I absolutely love the episode -both parts -since I just love watching O'Neill and Woolsey together. They are so hilarious!
                      The ultimate scene however is the fire scene. Man, I can just watch that scene again and again when John walks up and says that what they are cooking smells good and Teyla just spins around at the sound of his voice.
                      She is just mesmerized and the look on his face at seeing her is to die for. That is the point in the show that I knew that it was all about J/T.

                      OT:
                      Just had my sister, brother in law, 2 nephews and 1 niece here visiting for 9 days from Pennsylvania! We had such a blast! They saw Vegas and were shocked at how beautiful it is here with all the mountains. We all went to the Grand Canyon for 2 days which was awesome! They were not too happy with it being 115 degrees when we went to Hoover Dam. That was even pretty unbearable for me and I am getting used to this heat out here. But the best time of all was just seeing my sister after not seeing her for almost a year and my kids playing with their cousins.
                      Last edited by Rockhound; 10 August 2009, 09:36 PM.
                      sigpic
                      Sig made by Cazzblade! Thanks!
                      Forever!!

                      Comment

                        #108701
                        Originally posted by scifan View Post
                        Hey guys. I need your help. I'm having writer's block for ep one.

                        I'm up to where they just found the ZPM room, then a small bit where Landry tell Woolsey and the IOA. I was planning to go into where the SGC control room is getting a message from Apollo, but I'm not sure how to go about it. I'm having trouble wording it right. Can I get some suggestions please. Thank you.

                        Here's where Landry just told IOA:

                        Spoiler:
                        Landry walked into the briefing room. He had been informed of the news of Atlantis finding a ZPM room and despite McKay’s over confident ego Landry insisted to have Sam help them. Even though they had plenty of scientists there to figure it out, she would be great contribution as well.
                        “Well, it looks like we have some good news. I just receive information that Atlantis may have found a room that makes ZPMs. We have are top scientists, including Colonel Samantha Carter working to see if they can get thing operational.”
                        There were smiles and faces of relief around the table, Woolsey being one of them. He had complete confidence in his scientists and Sam that they would work things out.
                        I'd cut the line that I've bolded As for the next scene, how about:
                        Spoiler:
                        While they're all looking and feeling happy about finding a ZPM the siren goes off in the SGC, Walter comes over the comm and informs them they have an urgent message from the Appollo. Woolsey quickly gets up and follows Landry to the gate room, with Chen and Coolidge joining them a bit slower


                        What we do in life echoes in eternity - Gladiator vghUp the Blades!

                        Comment

                          #108702
                          Originally posted by Rockhound View Post
                          I know! I heard in the commentary that Rachel's parents were there and that she was so nervous since it was her first on screen kiss. It was sooo cute when JF was talking about it.

                          Just watched The Return again. I absolutely love the episode -both parts -since I just love watching O'Neill and Woolsey together. They are so hilarious!
                          The ultimate scene however is the fire scene. Man, I can just watch that scene again and again when John walks up and says that what they are cooking smells good and Teyla just spins around at the sound of his voice.
                          She is just mesmerized and the look on his face at seeing her is to die for. That is the point in the show that I knew that it was all about J/T.

                          OT:
                          Just had my sister, brother in law, 2 nephews and 1 niece here visiting for 9 days from Pennsylvania! We had such a blast! They saw Vegas and were shocked at how beautiful it is here with all the mountains. We all went to the Grand Canyon for 2 days which was awesome! They were not too happy with it being 115 degrees when we went to Hoover Dam. That was even pretty unbearable for me and I am getting used to this heat out here. But the best time of all was just seeing my sister after not seeing her for almost a year and my kids playing with their cousins.
                          Yeah, JF sound sooooo cute talking about it. And it was just before he started saying how they'd done a few different reactions to the kiss.

                          The Return is awesome!
                          You mean this:

                          ????????

                          I love her look.
                          And I love the smoking look he gives her in one of the shots- it's like he wants to go over to her, take her in his arms & plant a big kiss on her!
                          SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

                          Spoiler:



                          All Sigs Made By Me.

                          Comment

                            #108703
                            Originally posted by LandJrule View Post
                            I wanna know what Joe's staring off at.
                            Looks like a cold & wet day- poor Joe n Rach.


                            That's ok- glad I could help.

                            As for the next bit- sorry, I dunno. Maybe someone else could help out. (I've got my SG fic running in my mind- it's difficult to concentrate on SGA & that!)

                            Idea:
                            Spoiler:

                            Maybe have some chat on the Apollo- & then the sensors start beeping, & it's cos the wraith are there.........
                            I dunno- I'm just confusing myself with too many thoughts!


                            Whoops!
                            Accidentally told it to post before I linked my new graphics!


                            [IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v302/maryomalley/JT_wallie.jpg[
                            Originally posted by CazzBlade View Post
                            Sigs I made for Sci:
                            [IMG]http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg194/CazzBlade/Signatures/JT-sig-sci.jpg

                            [IMG]http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg194/CazzBlade/Signatures/JT-sig-sci-2.jpg]

                            [IMG]http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg194/CazzBlade/Signatures/JT-sig-sci-3.jpg

                            and OT bday for Jumble:
                            Spoiler:


                            Originally posted by CazzBlade View Post
                            and some icons from recent sigs:

                            [IMG]http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg194/CazzBlade/Icons/JT-icon-2.jpg [IMG]http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg194/CazzBlade/Icons/JT-icon.jpg [IMG]http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg194/CazzBlade/Icons/RL-icon.jpg[
                            [IMG]http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg194/CazzBlade/Icons/Shep-icon-new.jpg [IMG]http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg194/CazzBlade/Icons/Teyla-icon.jpg

                            awesome artwork to both of you
                            Sig Bye Me and Avi bye Luciana

                            Comment

                              #108704
                              Originally posted by Rockhound View Post
                              I know! The ultimate scene however is the fire scene. Man, I can just watch that scene again and again when John walks up and says that what they are cooking smells good and Teyla just spins around at the sound of his voice.
                              She is just mesmerized and the look on his face at seeing her is to die for. That is the point in the show that I knew that it was all about J/T.
                              ITA... there was no denying the feelings from both of them in that look...


                              Originally posted by LandJrule View Post
                              Yeah, JF sound sooooo cute talking about it. And it was just before he started saying how they'd done a few different reactions to the kiss.
                              Lucky things..

                              The Return is awesome!
                              You mean this:
                              http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3...uinionscen.jpg
                              ????????
                              Yep that's it...

                              I love her look.
                              And I love the smoking look he gives her in one of the shots- it's like he wants to go over to her, take her in his arms & plant a big kiss on her!
                              SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
                              John's look is pretty smoldering... and their feelings are there for all to see so this is what makes the Kanaan fiasco even more ridiculous... JT had clearly been the intended ship, but then the writers seemed to have totally forgotten about that when Rachel announced her pregnancy and they came up the awful Kanaan storyline.. there wasnt a smidgen of chemistry between her and Kanaan while the air smoulders when she was with John.. oh for the good old days..
                              sigpic

                              Comment

                                #108705
                                How would we re-write the pregnancy storyline? Personally i don't think they should have kept it at all as it did nothing for Teyla's character, i think they should have had Teyla go off in search of the athosian's and just been written out for a few eps. They could have always had her sending video messages to check in. And maybe have an ep where they hear Teyla is in trouble so the team goes looking for her.
                                What we do in life echoes in eternity - Gladiator vghUp the Blades!

                                Comment

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