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That is very good and you got the voices just right. I would love to read more.
Originally posted by Lt.Colonel John Sheppard
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was going through some old documents and found this old episode "script" that i was working on from 2006 and here it is.
it's sparky and this was just the teaser of it.
i
so hope you enjoy it
FADE IN:
EXT. SHOT ATLANTIS - DAY
FADE TO:
INT. ATLANTIS CONTROL ROOM - DAY
LONG SHOT of DR. ELIZABETH WEIR as she walks across the Control Room. The Morning shift of Atlantis personnel bustles in the background, but her attention is fixed on the DATA PAD in her arms. The camera slowly coasts to an OTS shot as Weir approaches the door to her office. Through the glass we can see a dark form shifting in the room beyond. Weir takes no notice as the door SWISHES open.
CUT TO:
INT. WEIR’S OFFICE - CONTINUING
PAN UP from floor as Weir enters. Startled, she looks up to see…
PULLING BACK we find LT. COL. JOHN SHEPPARD stands in the center of the office, juggling three GLASS SNOWGLOBES with a playful grace. (Prop Note: The globes are smooth orbs that rest on removable stands. The stands sit on Weir’s desk.) Seeming to take no notice of Weir’s entrance, he tosses the globes under his leg, behind his back, over his shoulder and high over his head.
ANGLE to include Sheppard and Weir as she makes for her desk.
CLOSE UP of Sheppard, intent on his performance.
SHEPPARD
Just sharpening those cat-like reflexes.
SHEPPARD tosses a globe in the air, spins around, catches the globe, then reverses the maneuver.
He rolls a globe down his forearm, pops it in the air and returns to his routine.
Weir smirks again as she sets her data pad on the desk. Sheppard catches the globes with a practiced elegance.
CLOSE UP on Sheppard as he turns one upside down and stares into it with wonder, watching the snow swirl around a familiar skyline.
Weir settles into her seat as if it were the utmost in normalcy to stumble across the commanding military officer of the Atlantis Expedition doing carnival tricks in her office.
He runs a nervous hand through his hair, taking a seat opposite Weir.
SHEPPARD (CONT’D)
(switching subjects.)
So, have you thought about it?
Weir meets his gaze with a wary eye.
Sheppard nonchalantly shifts in his chair. A devilish smirk creeps across his face.
CLOSE UP as Weir leans forward.
Weir nods knowingly, as if she finally catches on to something.
WEIR
That’s what this is about, isn’t it?
SHEPPARD
(innocently.)
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Weir leans back with a knowing smile.
CLOSE UP of Weir – she’s not buying it. Sheppard continues without missing a beat.
Sheppard illustrates his point with a hand gesture.
Sheppard settles back in his chair casually.
Sheppard shrugs innocently.
Weir’s eyes narrow emphatically.
WEIR
This is Atlantis, John, not Talladega Speedway. When it comes to sensitive intercultural affairs, I usually draw the line at drag racing.
Sheppard opens his mouth to defend himself, but he is interrupted by the arrival of DR. RADEK ZELENKA. Zelenka’s excitement is obvious. He speaks quickly, stumbling through his words.
ZELENKA (CONT’D)
...This may be of interest to you too, Colonel.
Weir gives Zelenka a warm smile as she stands.
WEIR
It’s all right, Doctor. We’re done here.
Weir shoots Sheppard a look that all but screams “End of Discussion”. Sheppard pouts as Weir turns her back to him, but he dutifully rises and follows the two out the door.
Off this moment we –-
FADE OUT
it's sparky and this was just the teaser of it.
i
so hope you enjoy it
Spoiler:
TEASER
FADE IN:
EXT. SHOT ATLANTIS - DAY
FADE TO:
INT. ATLANTIS CONTROL ROOM - DAY
LONG SHOT of DR. ELIZABETH WEIR as she walks across the Control Room. The Morning shift of Atlantis personnel bustles in the background, but her attention is fixed on the DATA PAD in her arms. The camera slowly coasts to an OTS shot as Weir approaches the door to her office. Through the glass we can see a dark form shifting in the room beyond. Weir takes no notice as the door SWISHES open.
CUT TO:
INT. WEIR’S OFFICE - CONTINUING
PAN UP from floor as Weir enters. Startled, she looks up to see…
PULLING BACK we find LT. COL. JOHN SHEPPARD stands in the center of the office, juggling three GLASS SNOWGLOBES with a playful grace. (Prop Note: The globes are smooth orbs that rest on removable stands. The stands sit on Weir’s desk.) Seeming to take no notice of Weir’s entrance, he tosses the globes under his leg, behind his back, over his shoulder and high over his head.
ANGLE to include Sheppard and Weir as she makes for her desk.
WEIR
(with a subtle smirk.)
Good morning, Colonel. I hope you haven’t come to tell me you’re leaving Atlantis to join the circus.
(with a subtle smirk.)
Good morning, Colonel. I hope you haven’t come to tell me you’re leaving Atlantis to join the circus.
CLOSE UP of Sheppard, intent on his performance.
SHEPPARD
Just sharpening those cat-like reflexes.
SHEPPARD tosses a globe in the air, spins around, catches the globe, then reverses the maneuver.
SHEPPARD (CONT’D)
Besides, the circus would just seem boring after all this -
Besides, the circus would just seem boring after all this -
He rolls a globe down his forearm, pops it in the air and returns to his routine.
SHEPPARD (CONT’D)
Though I’ll admit
, a lifetime supply of free popcorn does sound like a tempting offer.Though I’ll admit
Weir smirks again as she sets her data pad on the desk. Sheppard catches the globes with a practiced elegance.
CLOSE UP on Sheppard as he turns one upside down and stares into it with wonder, watching the snow swirl around a familiar skyline.
SHEPPARD (CONT’D)
You know, Elizabeth, you’re not the kind of person I would have expected to bring snow globes into the vast reaches of the unknown universe.
You know, Elizabeth, you’re not the kind of person I would have expected to bring snow globes into the vast reaches of the unknown universe.
Weir settles into her seat as if it were the utmost in normalcy to stumble across the commanding military officer of the Atlantis Expedition doing carnival tricks in her office.
WEIR
They were a gift from the President.
Beat. Sheppard’s eyes widen and he quickly returns the globes to Weir’s desk. Weir remains the epitome of professionalism.They were a gift from the President.
SHEPPARD
(embarrassed.)
I, um, like the one with the little monkey...
(embarrassed.)
I, um, like the one with the little monkey...
He runs a nervous hand through his hair, taking a seat opposite Weir.
SHEPPARD (CONT’D)
(switching subjects.)
So, have you thought about it?
Weir meets his gaze with a wary eye.
WEIR
I’ve already made my decision, Colonel. The answer is still no.
I’ve already made my decision, Colonel. The answer is still no.
Sheppard nonchalantly shifts in his chair. A devilish smirk creeps across his face.
SHEPPARD
C’mon, Doctor. This place could use a little celebration after all we’ve been through.
WEIR
(with a stern surprise.)
Celebration? John, you’re asking me to okay a five hundred lap jumper race around the city-
SHEPPARD
(in a correcting tone.)
Outskirts of the city-
WEIR
And you don’t see my cause for concern?
SHEPPARD
(brushing her off.)
This city has survived two Wraith onslaughts and a ten thousand year journey to the bottom of the sea. I think it can handle a little romp around the maypole.
C’mon, Doctor. This place could use a little celebration after all we’ve been through.
WEIR
(with a stern surprise.)
Celebration? John, you’re asking me to okay a five hundred lap jumper race around the city-
SHEPPARD
(in a correcting tone.)
Outskirts of the city-
WEIR
And you don’t see my cause for concern?
SHEPPARD
(brushing her off.)
This city has survived two Wraith onslaughts and a ten thousand year journey to the bottom of the sea. I think it can handle a little romp around the maypole.
CLOSE UP as Weir leans forward.
WEIR
(calmly.)
It’s not the city I’m worried about, John.
SHEPPARD
(defensively.)
I’ve been training jumper pilots since we got here. Believe me, they know what they’re doing.
(calmly.)
It’s not the city I’m worried about, John.
SHEPPARD
(defensively.)
I’ve been training jumper pilots since we got here. Believe me, they know what they’re doing.
Weir nods knowingly, as if she finally catches on to something.
WEIR
That’s what this is about, isn’t it?
SHEPPARD
(innocently.)
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Weir leans back with a knowing smile.
WEIR
Those boys must be doing exceptionally well if you feel so threatened that you have to prove your capabilities in a public forum.
SHEPPARD
(with feigned offense.)
This has nothing to do with me.
Those boys must be doing exceptionally well if you feel so threatened that you have to prove your capabilities in a public forum.
SHEPPARD
(with feigned offense.)
This has nothing to do with me.
CLOSE UP of Weir – she’s not buying it. Sheppard continues without missing a beat.
SHEPPARD (CONT’D)
I simply felt it would be nice if they could test their mettle against someone who’s not trying to blow them out of the sky...
I simply felt it would be nice if they could test their mettle against someone who’s not trying to blow them out of the sky...
Sheppard illustrates his point with a hand gesture.
SHEPPARD (CONT’D)
...And maybe help to repair the relationship with the Athosians. They’re big into sports, right? We can show them yet another aspect of Earth culture to help bridge the gap.
...And maybe help to repair the relationship with the Athosians. They’re big into sports, right? We can show them yet another aspect of Earth culture to help bridge the gap.
Sheppard settles back in his chair casually.
SHEPPARD (CONT’D)
...If I happen to get a big, shiny trophy out of the deal...
...If I happen to get a big, shiny trophy out of the deal...
Sheppard shrugs innocently.
SHEPPARD
...Well, I’ll live.
...Well, I’ll live.
Weir’s eyes narrow emphatically.
WEIR
This is Atlantis, John, not Talladega Speedway. When it comes to sensitive intercultural affairs, I usually draw the line at drag racing.
Sheppard opens his mouth to defend himself, but he is interrupted by the arrival of DR. RADEK ZELENKA. Zelenka’s excitement is obvious. He speaks quickly, stumbling through his words.
ZELENKA
Sorry to interrupt, Dr. Weir, but something important has come up.
Zelenka gives a nod to Sheppard.Sorry to interrupt, Dr. Weir, but something important has come up.
ZELENKA (CONT’D)
...This may be of interest to you too, Colonel.
WEIR
It’s all right, Doctor. We’re done here.
Weir shoots Sheppard a look that all but screams “End of Discussion”. Sheppard pouts as Weir turns her back to him, but he dutifully rises and follows the two out the door.
Off this moment we –-
FADE OUT
END OF TEASER
That is very good and you got the voices just right. I would love to read more.
Thanks for giving me something to make me laugh when I woke up this morning!
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