Elizabeth Weir/John Sheppard Appreciation/Ship/Discussion Thread

[ShWeir]

Happy Thanks Giving my American friends!!!!

[Falcon Horus]

Next up Sinterklaas on the 6th of December - if you've been a good little fan you'll get something nice, if you've been a bad fan you get nothing.

[JT-2]

[]http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j55/Nolamom/Shippiness/Valenship/Shippy%20Gifs/Happy_Thanksgiving_Sparky.gif[/IMG] []http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j55/Nolamom/Shippiness/Valenship/Shippy%20Gifs/Happy_Sparky_Thanksgiving.gif[/IMG]

Those are awesome!! I can't green you today, so here's a Sparky hug for you:

[Nolamom]

What about a family Thanksgiving if you get my drift...

just for you

[Sparky She-Demon]

Hey, could you send it to me via PM? Because I can't get it into my photobucket till next week!

[Brie]

Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans out there.

[mandogater]

*Takes a deep breath* After MentallyUnstableFox bravely showed us an attempt to write Sparky fic, I realized that I should show you all something, too.

This is the first part of a larger story that I began many months ago, when I was just venturing into the world of fanfiction. It is actually not completed - my plan was to have four or five separate parts/chapters, and I only have the first and last parts written. As for the middle parts, I have a general sense of the plotline, but I'm struggling on how to write it, as creative writing is not my forte at all.

I do have a couple of specific questions that I'd like to ask, but for now, I would really appreciate any feedback I can get from you guys. I accept both praise and criticism and also any tips on how I can improve my writing. Since I have never done creative writing before, my first attempt in writing fanfiction is a series of missing scenes from "The Return, Part 1." This is supposed to be a team fic, though I plan on throwing in bits of Sparky here and there. Everything follows canon, and I've tried to make up for my lack of creativity by nailing characterizations.

So... please read. I hope you guys enjoy what I have so far, and I would greatly appreciate any comments and/or suggestions you guys have.

My current working title is simply "Missing Scenes: 3.10 The Return, Part 1."

Spoiler:

John stepped out of the Gate with Rodney and Carson beside him and nodded his head at the general waiting for them at the end of the ramp.

“General O’Neill.” John shook his hand.

“Colonel Sheppard, Doctor McKay, Doctor Beckett.” General O’Neill acknowledged each of the men in turn. “Welcome back to Earth.”

“You’ll understand, sir, when I say that Earth is the last place in the universe that we want to be in now,” John replied dryly. “I would say last place on Earth, but...”

General O’Neill gave him a wry smile. “Ah, is Doctor Weir still on the other side?” he asked.

John turned his head and looked around him, only noticing just then that Elizabeth wasn’t with them. “Um... yeah, she should be coming through any minute now...” John said hesitantly, puzzled. He frowned. “Funny, she should have been with us.”

Seconds later, the event horizon rippled as one more figure emerged from the Gate. Elizabeth made her way down the ramp, a silver Atlantis briefcase in one hand.

“General O’Neill.” Elizabeth smiled and shook his hand. “It’s good to see you.”

“Good to see you, too, Doctor,” General O’Neill replied. “Is that everyone?”

Elizabeth hesitated for a moment before responding. “Yeah. Everyone’s through.”

General O’Neill nodded before glancing up to the control room, signaling to the technician there to shut down the Gate. As the wormhole disengaged, he turned back to the foursome.

“Uh, there’s breakfast in the commissary, if you guys didn’t eat already before leaving,” he quickly mentioned.

Elizabeth smiled. “Thank you, Jack. We’d best head over to the infirmary first, though, and get ourselves checked over.”

General O’Neill nodded, and with a final glance at the team, he walked away.

“Well, I don’t know about you guys,” Rodney piped up, “but dinner seems like ages ago, so let’s get this check-up out and over with, shall we?” With that, he headed off to the infirmary with Carson close behind. John was about to follow them, but he stopped and turned around when he realized that Elizabeth was still standing at the end of ramp, gazing at the closed Stargate.

“Elizabeth? You coming?” John studied her, wondering if she heard him at all, and he was about call her again when she turned around.

“Yeah. I’m coming.” She forced a smile. “Let’s go.”

She brushed past John, and after a brief moment of hesitation, followed her to the infirmary.

The four of them filled their plates from the buffet and found a table near the corner of the commissary. John tried to keep the discussion alive, and with Rodney and Carson joining in, the meal wasn’t awkwardly eaten in silence. However, John noticed that Elizabeth was unusually quiet during the entire meal. Back on Atlantis, she only ate with them occasionally, but when she did, she was usually very active in the conversation. That morning, though, her attention was completely focused on her plate as she half-heartedly picked at her scrambled eggs and hash browns, not seeming to have much of an appetite. John caught her more than once staring off into the distance, though he didn’t know what she was staring at. It then occurred to him that there were no windows or balconies here at the SGC that led to the outside world. And even if there were, there was no ocean.

There were no briefings or meetings to attend that morning, as General O’Neill and Mr. Woolsey had already debriefed the SGC and IOA on the situation in Atlantis days before. Within the hour, the team had finished their breakfast, and Elizabeth and Rodney had arranged for taxis to come pick them up: Elizabeth’s to her apartment block, and Rodney’s to the airport, where he had to catch a flight to Nevada. John and Carson accompanied them up to the surface to see them off, and Rodney’s ride arrived all too soon.

“Well, I guess this is it, then.” Rodney shifted on his feet uncomfortably as the driver loaded what bags he had into the trunk.

“Yeah,” John replied. Silence fell over the four.

“Just so we’re clear, this isn’t goodbye forever, right?” Rodney quickly asked. “Because I’d hate to think that after all we’ve been through together in the past two years -- ”

“We’ll keep in touch,” John interrupted.

Rodney stopped. “Right,” he said.

“Rodney.” Elizabeth paused for a moment before continuing. “It’s -- it’s been wonderful, having you our team,” she finally managed to say.

Rodney gave a small nod, then looked at Carson, who just sorrowfully smiled at him.

The taxi was waiting. Seeing that there was no more that he could say, Rodney settled himself into the taxi and shut the door. His friends watched as the taxi left and drove off into the distance.

They waited in a heavy silence for Elizabeth’s ride to arrive. When another taxi pulled over to the curb a few minutes later, Elizabeth sighed deeply.

“Hey, at least you’re still staying in town,” John said, trying to be optimistic. “And you can always come by just to visit, seeing as how your apartment is only twenty minutes away from here. It doesn’t have to be work-related.”

Elizabeth gave him a small smile but didn’t respond.

“You know, this feels so weird,” John suddenly said. Elizabeth arched an eyebrow, prompting him to continue. “Being back on Earth, I mean,” John explained, “and going our separate ways. Soon, it’s just going to feel like the last two years never happened.”

Elizabeth flinched at those last words, and John cursed himself. Good one, John! Remind her of the time she was infected with nanites just as you say goodbye.

“Sorry,” he quickly apologized, and Carson reached out and patted her on the shoulder.

Without another word, Elizabeth climbed into the taxi. She didn’t look back as it left in the opposite direction Rodney’s had gone.

John let out a heavy sigh. “You think she’ll be ok?” he asked Carson.

Carson, too, gave a sigh of resignation. “I don’t know,” he admitted, a hint of worry in his reply. “I’m sure that given some time, she’ll be all right. But this has certainly hit her the hardest.”

John just nodded, not responding, and the two men stood together in a heavy silence.

“Come on,” Carson finally said after a long moment. “We’d best get back.” Reluctantly, John trudged after Carson back to the SGC, not looking back at the point down the road where the taxi had already vanished from their view.

I like it, Sparks. I think you hit Elizabeth's reaction perfectly. I can easily see her reacting like that.

[Sparky She-Demon]

Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans out there.

Thanksgiving is not until Thursday, but thank you anyway!

[mandogater]

Kate-fic... why no one writing Kate-fic? ... Or add Kate...

There should be more Kate-fic, damn it! *pouts*

Anyhow...

...you were saying...

I have one in mind but my muse keeps wondering off and hiding.

[Southern Red]

Happy Thanks Giving my American friends!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans out there.

Thanks so much. Some of us have already started eating.

[Sequoia Hope]

Thanks to everyone who commented on my fic! I really appreciate how there are people who enjoy what I write and look forward to more, yet can also give me quality feedback at the same time.

I can't believe that's your first fic attempt. It definitely shows promise. The mechanics of writing are like the mechanics of drawing or cooking or any other task. You have to know the basics before you can come out with a workable final product, and you seem to instinctively have that part down pat. A few hints, Elizabeth would most likely not call the General by his first name in front of others. It's a military protocol thing, just like when she calls John "Colonel" in meetings and when subordinates are around. You also overuse the term "you guys." That makes them sound like teenagers, and I don't remember it being done except in very casual settings if at all. Your characterizations are very good. I like depressed Elizabeth. You managed to convey how she was feeling without her having to say a lot, and the same goes for John's concern for her. You should definitely keep going.

Well, I'll be honest when I say that I've actually had a lot of plot bunnies, but this was the first one that went in a direction that I actually liked. But thanks for the tips! I was debating whether Elizabeth would call General O'Neill "Jack" if it was just her, John, Rodney, and Carson around, and I was also wondering if O'Neill would act in a professional or more relaxed manner when welcoming them back to Earth, especially given their current plight. He knows Elizabeth quite well, but not John, Rodney, or Carson as much, I suppose, and I see what you mean by military protocol. Did I overuse "you guys" though? I think I only used it twice, but I do see how it is rather informal and would most likely be used in very casual settings and among characters who have a close friendship with each other. I'll definitely pay more attention to this in the future.

Also, this is just a side note to everyone, but I know how a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I wouldn't mind if you all addressed me as Sparks. However, after doing a lot of thinking, I've decided that if you guys didn't mind too much, I'd prefer to be addressed by my full screenname, Sparks of Atlantis. I just personally feel that acknowledging one by his or her full name is very important, and a name can sometimes be very symbolic. I chose this name to honor John and Elizabeth, the two original leaders of Atlantis, and their relationship, and I'd very much appreciate it if it wasn't cut short.

Hope you all understand, and thanks again!

[Sparky She-Demon]

Thanks to everyone who commented on my fic! I really appreciate how there are people who enjoy what I write and look forward to more, yet can also give me quality feedback at the same time.



Well, I'll be honest when I say that I've actually had a lot of plot bunnies, but this was the first one that actually went in a direction that I liked. But thanks for the tips! I was debating whether Elizabeth would call General O'Neill "Jack" if it was just her, John, Rodney, and Carson around, and I was also wondering if O'Neill would act in a professional or more relaxed manner when welcoming them back to Earth, especially given their current plight. He knows Elizabeth quite well, but not John, Rodney, or Carson as much, I suppose, and I see what you mean by military protocol. Did I overuse "you guys" though? I think I only used it twice, but I do see how it is rather informal and would most likely be used in very casual settings and among characters who have a close friendship with each other. I'll definitely pay more attention to this in the future.

Also, this is just a side note to everyone, but I know how a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I wouldn't mind if you all addressed me as Sparks. However, after doing a lot of thinking, I've decided that if you guys didn't mind too much, I'd prefer to be addressed by my full screenname, Sparks of Atlantis. I just personally feel that acknowledging one by his or her full name is very important, and a name can sometimes be very symbolic. I chose this name to honor John and Elizabeth, the two original leaders of Atlantis, and their relationship, and I'd very much appreciate it if it wasn't cut short.

Hope you all understand, and thanks again!

Fair enough, Sparks of Atlantis. You shall be called by your full screen name. And your writing shows great promise.

[gateraid]

To anyone who cares to listen... or to no one... depends how you (the general you) wish to interpret my post.

I care, I just can't write. Kate's exit was unacceptable, no question. Why use an episode to illustrate how important a character is, only to remove them in said episode? Especially when the next season and a half proved that there was more need for her than ever before? The Shrine anyone? Not for Rodney, but for John/Teyla/Ronon....

[ShipperWriter]

G'morning.

Oh, that's a load of crap. I woke up with a cold this morning. Still at work, but thankfully I'll be done early today. Then I'm going home and falling asleep.

Meanwhile, Algebra class teacher decided to watch "Numb3rs" today. I've never seen it. Interesting show.

[Southern Red]

Thanks to everyone who commented on my fic! I really appreciate how there are people who enjoy what I write and look forward to more, yet can also give me quality feedback at the same time.



Well, I'll be honest when I say that I've actually had a lot of plot bunnies, but this was the first one that went in a direction that I actually liked. But thanks for the tips! I was debating whether Elizabeth would call General O'Neill "Jack" if it was just her, John, Rodney, and Carson around, and I was also wondering if O'Neill would act in a professional or more relaxed manner when welcoming them back to Earth, especially given their current plight. He knows Elizabeth quite well, but not John, Rodney, or Carson as much, I suppose, and I see what you mean by military protocol. Did I overuse "you guys" though? I think I only used it twice, but I do see how it is rather informal and would most likely be used in very casual settings and among characters who have a close friendship with each other. I'll definitely pay more attention to this in the future.

Also, this is just a side note to everyone, but I know how a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that I wouldn't mind if you all addressed me as Sparks. However, after doing a lot of thinking, I've decided that if you guys didn't mind too much, I'd prefer to be addressed by my full screenname, Sparks of Atlantis. I just personally feel that acknowledging one by his or her full name is very important, and a name can sometimes be very symbolic. I chose this name to honor John and Elizabeth, the two original leaders of Atlantis, and their relationship, and I'd very much appreciate it if it wasn't cut short.

Hope you all understand, and thanks again!

Calling people by their first name doesn't have anything to do with how well you know them, but depends on the situation. Particularly in the military, if someone of inferior rank is present, a general would never be addressed by his or her first name no matter if they are your BFF in real life, especially if they are in uniform. I'm sure the rules for this are all written down somewhere.

That said, this was the first time I have ever broken my own rule not to give editorial feedback to someone in public. This sort of thing should be done privately, so I apologize if too much advice hit a sore spot.

And all of us have shortened forms of our names to save having to do so much typing. Hopefully, you will forgive us if we slip up and shorten yours.

G'morning.

Oh, that's a load of crap. I woke up with a cold this morning. Still at work, but thankfully I'll be done early today. Then I'm going home and falling asleep.

Meanwhile, Algebra class teacher decided to watch "Numb3rs" today. I've never seen it. Interesting show.

Good grief. Numb3rs is a great show, but in math class? Somebody didn't write a lesson plan. Have the schools come to this? Sigh.