Carson Beckett/Paul McGillion Thunk Thread

[Aang]

She's talking about what? Oh Carson...Beck, no! *I feel my own eyes start to tear up a bit and I stand up from the empty bed and walk around to look into Beck's eyes, bending so my face is level with hers and putting my hand on her shoulder*

Beck, Sis, listen to me. I know you better than this, Love. I know you could never leave Carson, it would kill you to leave him and Abby. And us, your sisters, Dell and I. And it would kill all of us to lose you. I've told Dell this several times and now it's your turn to hear it. We are your family, this is your life now, and you belong here with us. *I know the tears are running down my face, but I don't try to stop them, I just stand there looking into Beck's face*

[McBecklover]

*sniff* I- I can't help feeling a little r-responsible. *sniff* For all that's h-happen since we left to get Abby back. If I hadn't gotten, *sniff* if I hadn't gotten you all involved with rescuing Abby, p-perhaps this wouldn't of hap-pened? *sniff* Dell wouldn't have nearly d-died. I- I shouldn't have let Abby out of m-my sight, I should have kept her with m-me here on Atlantis. *sniff* If I had kept a closer eye on her, there would be n-no r-rescue m-mission & no-one would have gotten h-hurt. C-Carson & your Carson wouldn't be out *sniff* out of commission & you wouldn't be s-so under p-pressure from having to take on their duties plus, *sniff* take care of s-stupid me. It must be s-so hard for y-you to try to k-keep it all to-gether, I'm so s-sorry sis. Perhaps if I w-asn't here, this wouldn't of *sniff, sniff* happened at a-all. If I leave, you'll b-be safer, as I won't get i-in the w-way to get y-you hurt...

*leans back into Carson. With the concussion & me getting so upset, my head feels as if it may explode, my heart rate doubles & I sob harder into Carson's side as well as shaking with fear from actually considering going through with leaving*
(I actually have an irregular heat beat, that could be caused by to much stress. we think)

*Carson stares at Aang with those big sad blue eyes glistening with tears, as though asking what in the world is he to do to stop me from leaving*

[Aang]

Oh Beck, sweetie. You didn't get us involved with rescuing Abby. We got involved on our own. Because we care about her, and you and Carson. You couldn't have known this would happen and where would she have been when we were sneaking along to save Dell's butt on her mission? And Dell didn't almost die because of you, she got a broken rib. Yes, it punctured her lung but it could have been a lot worse. And Sis, don't you ever worry about the pressure that's on me in all this. I'm the only one who didn't get wounded, and I didn't even do a hell of a lot on this mission, so it's like I'm making up for my sheer luck by caring for everyone else.

I could ask for help, I have a whole team of nurses and doctors who would be at my beck and call if I needed them, but I won't let any of them touch you guys, you're my family and my patients at the moment. Ask Carson what it's like to think of leaving a patient you've worked on...it's not possible for us Becketts. Yes, I'm tired, so tired in fact that I ripped Keller a new one last night and come to think of it, I don't even know why I did. But it's worth it. You're all alive, every one of you, and it makes all of this worth it. And yes, it is hard for me to hold it together sometimes, I admit it. But if I can be the glue that holds all of this together, then so be it. I won't lose this, I lost too much in my past reality and I refuse to feel that kind of pain again.

*I finish my ranting and look carefully, I can see Carson's grip on Beck tighten and he looks up at me, his face pale with worry for her and I can see she's having a rough time of it, but right now I don't have any clue what I should be doing for her outside trying to calm her down, and I don't like this feeling of not knowing* *I see Carson's eyes and I just can't keep myself from letting the tears keep falling and I join the pair, putting my arms around both of them*

I will not let Beck leave us. She can't leave us. Hear me, Beck? You can't leave us.

[Aang]

*Carson stares at Aang with those big sad blue eyes glistening with tears, as though asking what in the world is he to do to stop me from leaving*

(This line. Right here. This is why my eyes are tearing up in RL right now. Because Carson with the sad eyes and it breaks my heart. *facepalm at my pathetic-ness*)

[McBecklover]

(This line. Right here. This is why my eyes are tearing up in RL right now. Because Carson with the sad eyes and it breaks my heart. *facepalm at my pathetic-ness*)

(near teared up my self when I typed it & tried imagining what it would look like)

[McBecklover]

*Carson looks up at Aang teary eyed again*
Could ye give 'er some pain meds love, she's shakin' so much, tha' I'm now shakin'

[Aang]

*I snap out of it, rubbing the sleeve of my lab coat across my tear stained face and swallow hard before I reply, and I look at Carson one more time*

Sure, Carson. It's the least I can do for her right now...I wish...*I swallow again, willing the tears not to overflow again* ...I wish I knew what else to do for her. *I sigh and turn to find the pain meds, I can tell that Beck isn't in any shape to swallow anything right now since she's crying so hard, so I will do it in the form of an injection. I fill the syringe and then disconnect one of Beck's arms from Carson and inject the pain meds carefully, before letting her go back to clinging to Carson, and then I set the syringe down on a nearby cart and let out a shaky breath*

*I look around the room and I see A-Carson across the room with Abby, they look to be deep in conversation about something and she is giggling happily, and then I see Dell asleep in her bed, much more restfully than last night, with Shep nodding off at her side, his hand holding hers, and then I look back to the teary eyed, shaky pair on the bed and realize gratefully that they are the only ones who require my attention at the moment*

[McBecklover]

*after Aang finishes giving me the meds & sits back on my empty bed, Carson lifts his head slightly*
Thanks love *attempts to give Aang a weak smile then kisses my head & returns to resting his own head on mine*
*I muffle tearfully into Carson's chest* Thanks sis. It means alot for you to be here, with me right now. I- I just don't know what to do. I don't really wanna leave, but... *I cut myself off as, I really don't know if I should leave or not*

[Aang]

(Sorry fell asleep for 2 hours and then someone just woke me *dagger eyes at big brother*)

You're welcome, Carson. *I smile back to Carson a bit and then I hear Beck's voice muffled by Carson's chest* Oh Sis... *I look up and catch sight of Carson's big blue eyes again* Sis, Carson needs you to stay. I need you to stay. If you hadn't already noticed, even the idea of you leaving us is hell for us. You're my Sister and you're the Love of Carson's life and we can't imagine you not being here.

[McBecklover]

(wow you only had 2 hrs sleep? Perhaps you should try & get a sleep-in? Or will your brother wake you again? Hmm, that's why its was very quiet. I was wondering the threads alone for 2 hours looking for signs of life, so then I came back to post Carson pics on the Hottest SGA thread )

*by now, my cries have turn to very light sobs, as I've run out of energy & am quite tired. Still muffled against Carson, I speak*

I know & he is the l-love of my life, that's why we are married, but I -I just couldn't bare it if my being in the way & putting him in danger, get's him k-killed, or Abby, or any of you. I just want you to be safe. If one of you dies because of me, I couldn't live with my self, I, I-
*I break off as I notice Carson is crying, more than sobbing & he is shaking worse than me now & squeezing me to him so tight that it almost hurts*

*I lift my head & my heart breaks at the sight of him, I have never seen him this upset before to the point that he now looks worse than me. He looks up at me with those sad blues streaming with tears & stares into my own eyes & chokes back tears*

P-please, please love, don' leave meh. I love ye, I always 'ave & always will. Please, ye gotta stay with meh, I canna lose ye, it would kill meh, if it weren't for Abby I- I wouldn't 'ave a reason t' live if ye left meh. P-please love? Beck I need ye! P-Please!?
*with all the strength he has left, he pulls me into a tight hug, even pulling out his bad arm from his sling, just to make sure I couldn't get out of his grip*

*I can't stand the state he is in & I burst out crying hard too. Then struggling to breath from Carson's grip, I choke back tears & sputter...*
-I, *hic* I... I'm s-sorry *hic* C-Carson, I'm *hic* really so s-sorry, I-
Beck?!
-I, I'll... *hic* stay... I'll stay l-love *hic*, Carson I-I'll s-stay... *hic*

*He can't hear me over the sound of his own cries & doesn't realize he's crushing me to the point I can't breath & everything is beginning to spin & go fuzzy & blackness is overcoming me...*

[McBecklover]

(wow I literally had tears there. But I couldn't help going back & reading it over again & had to dry my eyes, before continuing)





[e] You fell asleep again didn't you? Well at least you'll have more than 2 hours sleep by the time you wake up again

(when ever your ready Aang, Id like to be able to breath again. I should be long dead by now *facepalm*)

[Aang]

(Yikes sorry!)

*I notice that Carson is literally crushing Beck in his arms, I can see her blacking out and I hop off the empty bed, where I somehow manage to disconnect Carson's bad arm from Beck, though he resists me and gives me those big sad eyes*

Carson, Love, she said she would stay. I need you to let go though, you're squeezing the life out of her, literally! *I disconnect Carson's other arm from Beck, leaving him still crying and shaking on his bed as I lift Beck back to her own bed and check on her breathing, which is nearly nonexistent by now. I realize I don't have time to waste, I snatch the oxygen hookup from the back of the bed and my fingers fumble to get it to Beck's nose, she needs oxygen and Carson has by now managed to slow his sobs enough to register that I am working to save Beck's life*

Come on Beck, I need you to breathe for me, keep breathing. Stay with us, Love. *I am talking to Beck as I work, mostly to keep myself sane as I work*

Wha' have I done?! *he is watching me intently as I jump up onto Beck's bed and kneel over her, doing my damned best to get her to breathe again* Aang, p-please tell me she'll be...*he stares at me as I look over at him*

She'll be fine, Carson. I promise. *I look over at him, a look of relief on my face as Beck begins to breathe and I check to be sure the oxygen is hooked up properly* Beck sweetie, come on Sis, come back to us. Come on.

*I talk to my sister as I have been from the moment I disconnected her from Carson's arms, hopping down off her bed and taking her hand in mine, I can still hear Carson choking back a sob behind me and it's threatening to shatter my heart, so with a sigh, I push Beck's bed up within reach of Carson's and let him take her other hand in his, and together we wait for her to wake up*

I...I never meant ta hurt 'er. *He looks over at me, those big blue eyes of his shining*

I know Carson, and I'm sorry I snapped at you a few moments ago...I was scared. Scared I was too late to save her, and I needed you to let go so I could try to get her breathing again. *I reach across Beck to lay a hand on Carson's hand and offer him a smile, as he looks back at me and then down at Beck beside him*

[Dellruby]

Holy crap you girls don't need me to put you in danger!. I almost had to drag myself outta my sick bed and save Beck myself!

Aang you don't get enough sleep!

[Aang]

Holy crap you girls don't need me to put you in danger!. I almost had to drag myself outta my sick bed and save Beck myself!

I tried to tell you, we would get ourselves in trouble with or without you!

Aang you don't get enough sleep!

I am painfully aware of that, but last night had a hell of a lot to do with my brother and his GF and their annoying dog being here. Brother & GF went out at like 4am, but made me stay awake to babysit the bloody creature because it can't be left alone, then two hours after they came back, they woke me up. Why, I don't know. OY.

[Dellruby]

brothers....never had one worth waking up for.....sorta got 2, but not really